Welcome Home
by WarriorDrgnMage
Summary: Paragon Shepard abandons the Illusive Man and Cerberus and returns to the Alliance. The Illusive Man takes exception to this. Shenko Spoilers for Mass Effect 1 & 2
1. Chapter 1 Letters

_Kaidan,_

_You may have heard by now that I've brought the SR-2 _Normandy_ into the Alliance along with all of my crew but my former Executive Officer, Miranda Lawson, chose to stay with Cerberus. You were right on Horizon, Cerberus is not who I really want to be working for. For everything the Alliance said about me, for everything they did to my crew; they do stand by their people._

_Apparently the Alliance likes people who bring in their own combat ready ships. So I'm Captain Lucille Shepard now. Not that I think I deserve it, but Hackett _really_ likes the new _Normandy_. Officially, the _Normandy_ is registered as part of fifth fleet, but I'm answer only to Admiral Hackett. This gives me the freedom to go where I want and do what I need to do._

_I was wondering: did you mean what you said at the end of your last message? _

_-Shepard_

OoOoO

_Shepard,_

_You stopped the Collectors and saved humanity, I was wrong to doubt you. And yes, I had heard you were coming back. Not from Anderson, he stone-walled me, again. It was Admiral Hackett who told me. He also told me at great length about the new _Normandy_. How did you get the new _Normandy_ away from Cerberus? It wasn't in your report._

_I did mean what I said. I want to see you again. I'd like to think I would even if you weren't back with the Alliance, but I'm not sure, I just don't trust Cerberus. And you're right, we do need to talk. I'm back on the Citadel for the time being. Can you meet me here? I'll take you out to dinner at a place I know that's quiet, where we can talk._

_-Kaidan_

OoOoO

_Kaidan,_

_Miranda's last act before going back to Cerberus was to help us disable the various Cerberus bugs, overrides and tracking devices. I hate to think how much trouble the Illusive Man is going to give her about that but she wanted to go back. She actually believes in what Cerberus stands for._

_I'm incoming to the Citadel now. ETA six hours, I can meet you in eight. Where and when?_

_-Shepard_

OoOoO

_Shepard,_

FWD: RES Rock Bottom Brewery

_-Kaidan _

OoOoO

Her meeting with Anderson and the rest of the Council had gone very well. It had been the longest meeting she'd had with the council, ever. She'd had an hour of their full and undivided attention in a private chamber. The meeting had consisted of just the four councilors, her, and a recording device, for what felt like the longest debriefing of her life. After which, all four councilors had expressed relief that she'd left Cerberus and even the turian Councilor had welcomed her back to Citadel Space.

David Anderson walked with her for a time when the meeting with the Council was over. During the walk he'd expressed his personal pleasure over her return to the Alliance. He'd also commented about Admiral Steven Hackett's manic joy over her return to the service, remarking, "Hackett hates Cerberus and just loves that you deprived them of two of their most expensive investments: the _Normandy_ and you."

Now Shepard stood in her flat on the Presidium level of the Citadel. She'd noticed something about herself years ago, after Mindoir was destroyed and she shut herself off emotionally. Whenever something emotional hit her she tended to go blank and ignore the emotions by analyzing the situation to death or by overdoing things to compensate.

She knew, intellectually, that she was overdoing it when she'd actually forsaken Alliance undress blues to meet Kaidan. While going through her closet trying to find a clean uniform, she'd come across the dress she'd worn to celebrate with friends after getting her promotion to Lieutenant Commander. Now she was going to wear a dress to meet Kaidan, even as part of her screamed that he'd been a jerk to her on Horizon. She knew that she needed to talk to him if only to say goodbye for good.

For years after she'd lost everything to the slavers, she'd kept from getting romantically involved with anyone. She'd made friends and so on but no deep emotional attachments. In fact, she'd done that up until Kaidan. There had just been something about him, something indefinable that had intrigued the sixteen year old broken child inside her. It's why she'd sought him out to talk so often. Shepard hadn't even known why she'd found him so interesting, just that he'd made her relax her soldier facade. The same man who fought by her side so perfectly that the two of them seemed to be linked somehow, had gotten closer, deeper than anyone since she was sixteen. Even her mentor, David Anderson, didn't know her so well. Then the night before Ilos, well, she'd taken lovers occasionally but they'd been about sex only. With Kaidan it was much more. So loving, so tender, so sweet.

Shepard still wanted him, even after he'd been so angry and mean on Horizon. She was just scared he'd hurt her again. So she was overdoing things to keep from being nervous, hence the dress. Normally she hated not wearing pants, but Shepard liked this dress. In addition to being gorgeous, it was cut to facilitate rapid movement and concealed weaponry. The fabric was nearly the same color green as her eyes and was so light and floating she felt like she hardly had anything on. Stepping into her bathroom, she looked in the mirror at her waist length red hair. Ordinarily she wore it up in a tight bun. But tonight she felt like doing something different. She clipped half of her hair securely up and turned to see how it looked. Satisfied, she inspected her make-up in the mirror briefly before putting on a silver chain with a plain silver heart pendent that she'd inherited from her mother.

After walking back into her bedroom Shepard stood looking dubiously at the box that was still resting innocently on the floor of her closet, below the dress's empty hanger. It contained dyed to match green dancing shoes, "With the sole exception of that mission with Kasumi on Boltzman, I haven't worn anything but combat boots since I was stationed on Arcturus," she muttered to herself. With a sigh she sat on the end of her bed and strapped the heeled dancing shoes on.

Standing, she began to walk tentatively around her bedroom. It took several minutes of nearly falling flat on face before her balance adjusted to the heels. Once she had regained her balance, she walked to her weapons locker. She found her two flat-hilted knives almost instantly, but it took her several more minutes of digging before she found her small, nearly flat hold-out pistol. She strapped the knives to her lower back, were there were concealed slits for just that purpose, and the small pistol to her right thigh.

On the way back to her flat after her meeting she had happened to pass a clothing store. In the front window was the usual display of the latest fashions, the sort of thing she usually just walked past with barely a glance. One of the models had been displaying a hooded cape. Shepard loved the look of capes. She'd never had the occasion to even consider buying one before. With a feeling of being deliciously indulgent, she'd bought a cape made with a plush satin in a green so dark it was nearly black that had a sterling silver clasp to hold it together.

Throwing the cape over her shoulders she clasped it shut at her throat. She looked at the clock hanging on her wall. She was going to be late if she didn't leave right now. Shepard left her flat heading for the rapid transit stand.

OoOoO

Kaidan stood outside the Rock Bottom Brewery on the Zakera Ward level twenty-one, dressed in his Alliance undress blues. Waiting for Shepard he'd had time to think about what he wanted to say to her. He knew one thing he didn't want to say was 'goodbye' not again. That would be another mistake. During his meeting with Admiral Hackett, before being assigned to the Citadel again, he'd respectfully asked to see Shepard's file. Hackett had looked at Kaidan for a very long moment, before acquiescing to Kaidan's request. Kaidan knew Shepard debriefed to Hackett about her time with Cerberus and that he'd missed meeting her on Arcturus by about forty-five minutes.

The report had been an engrossing read to say the least. Her report coupled with the debriefings from the rest of the former Cerberus crew painted a fairly grim picture. A half complete human Reaper; now that was truly nightmare fuel especially when you thought about how many people had been _liquefied_ to make that thing. Shepard had killed it; of course she had, she always did what needed to be done, and destroyed the Collector's base despite the Illusive Man's plea not to do so.

Kaidan glanced around the crowded Ward hallway and froze. She was walking towards the restaurant and she was wearing a _dress _and a _cape_. He'd never even seen her in civilian clothes before, just combat hardsuits and Alliance undress blues. The green of her dress was the same color as her eyes and contrasted vividly with her red hair. Shepard's hair was down; Kaidan remembered the first time he'd seen this marvel; on the night before Ilos. She'd always been beautiful to him but now she looked like a goddess.

Kaidan was still watching her, speechless and tongue tied, when she spotted him standing there in his blues. She appraised him for a moment before laughing and saying, "Citadel calling Kaidan Alenko, come in please."

He swallowed and met her eyes, "Hi," he'd noticed on Horizon that her scars from the Skillian Blitz were gone to be replaced by several large ones that he now knew were from the destruction of the first _Normandy_. Looking at her now Kaidan saw that the scars on her cheeks and forehead were gone completely as well. She looked like a glamorous actress or a model or something like that, anything but a kick ass N-7 and a decorated war hero with twoStars of Terra to her name.

Shepard laughed at him again, "Kaidan?"

Kaidan shook his head and held the door open for her to go in, not taking his eyes off of her. Walking to the hostess's stand he stammered, "Res-reservation for Alenko." the hostess smiled at him and led them to a booth near the back of the restaurant. Once Shepard was seated, Kaidan sat across from her, "Umm," he said intelligently.

Shepard smirked at him, "Kaidan Alenko, I've stunned you to silence. That's got to be a first."

Kaidan cleared his throat, "I've never seen you in anything but combat gear or Alliance uniforms."

Shepard stretched her arms above her head. When she relaxed again, she smirked. Kaidan's face was slightly flushed and he was no longer looking at her face. Shepard took half a step forward and whispered, "Those aren't the only," she raised her eyebrows suggestively as she continued, "'uniforms' you've seen me in." Kaidan focused on her face again and she could see the desire in his eyes. Shepard felt herself blush but she couldn't look away. After a moment, Kaidan leaned towards her and kissed her.

When they broke the kiss, she looked up again to scrutinize Kaidan's face, observing, "You like me in this dress but you like me in combat gear better. Why?"

Kaidan sat back and blinked, "I… that's not it Shepard." she just looked at him until he sighed and added, "it's just, you're a fighter, I never thought of you in a dress before. It's beautiful, but I'm just not used to it, yet."

Shepard nodded, looking thoughtful, "Kaidan about-" their waiter came up to the booth to politely remind them to order and ask them what they wanted to drink. Kaidan ordered beer and Shepard ordered a soda.

"I always meant to ask, why don't you drink?"

Shepard looked away, "When I was brought back to Earth from Mindoir, I wasn't any too sane. I hit the bottle hard for a year and a half before I had some help cleaning up so I could go into the Alliance; even during Ascension training. After basic was over, I went to a party with my roommate. I had less than one beer and I passed out, right there on the couch. One of the people sitting with me called the Medics. This definitely saved my life because I went into anaphylactic shock and almost died before I got to the hospital. They did some tests after I woke up and found out I have an induced allergic reaction to hops. The doctors surmised that the substance abuse when combined with my L3 made for a bad reaction in my biochemistry. So I can't touch beer and since beer was the only alcohol I really liked anyways I just don't often drink."

"And the reason it didn't kill you before the service was…?"

"I'm not too sure. But if I had to guess I would say that it has to do with my body building up a tolerance to the alcohol slowly. Then I suddenly took it away and that immunity changed to an allergy. Apparently it happens that way sometimes, even more so with us biotics."

Kaidan nodded. He couldn't stop staring at Shepard. Part of it was the way she was dressed the rest of it was joy at her general hereness. He'd spent two years mourning her and now here was she, literally back from the dead. He felt the same fury he had on Horizon, but he was not angry at her, of that he was certain. Kaidan just couldn't figure out who or what his fury was directed at.

Some of his anger must have flashed across his face because Shepard asked, "So you're still angry with me then? Kaidan…"

"I'm not angry at you, Shepard," Kaidan put his hand on hers across the table. Something like a physical jolt shot through him and he knew she felt it too because she shivered when they touched just as he jumped.

"Kaidan, about the Collectors…"

He held up his free hand, "I already know about what happened with the Collectors and the Illusive Man. You sure do know how to make dangerous enemies, Shepard." at her quizzical look he explained, "I had meant to meet you on Arcturus after your meeting with Hackett, but I just missed you. I asked for a copy of your reports and those of your crew. I was already on the need to know list because of my mission to Horizon so Hackett gave me free access. I read everything," Kaidan shuddered, "as if I needed to add more nightmares to my repertoire. That Human Reaper; and the Protheans retasked by the Reapers and controlled from Dark Space."

Shepard nodded in perfect understanding and said, "EDI and Joker calculated the time it would take for the Reapers to reach known space, based on information they were able to pull off the Collector Base before we blew it up. They estimated it'll take them at least two years."

Kaidan nodded in understanding, "That's good to know," Kaidan looked at her for a moment before saying, "About Horizon, I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm so sorry Shepard." Kaidan pulled his hand back but didn't look away from her face.

Shepard watched his face intently, even after their waiter returned and put their food in front of them. Finally, she observed, "You aren't angry with me."

"No," Kaidan said. A moment later he added, "I think I stopped being angry at you after I found out that you _were_ dead."

"I'm still a bit angry at losing two years of my life; with losing your regard."

"Regard?" Kaidan smiled weakly, "I cruised past regard into love after you're reaction to the Thorian on Feros, 'I think we're gonna need bigger guns'," Shepard laughed with Kaidan, "maybe you're right and I'm angry at the situation."

She scrutinized his face again for a long time, as she began to eat. Kaidan ate also, watching her watch him. It wasn't until after they had finished and their plates had been taken away that he noticed Shepard's green eyes light up with understanding and discovery, "What?" he asked.

She smiled at him, leaning across the table she cupped his cheek, "You're angry at yourself; Kaidan, why?"

Shepard watched Kaidan blink slowly, genuinely taken aback. He took the hand on his cheek in his hand and kissed her callused knuckles. Without letting go of her hand, he sat back thinking. After several minutes he nodded and leaned forward again, "I tried to leave you behind me and get on with my life."

"Kaidan I was dead for two years, I don't blame you for trying not to be the same."

"That's just it, I _was_ the same. Even when I took…" Kaidan stopped and shook his head, "a woman out for drinks once. She wasn't bad she just, there's no one who could replace you. No one could even come close."

"You're a sweetheart, Kaidan."

"How can you forgive me so easily after what I said to you?"

"First, you didn't say anything that I wasn't already telling myself. And second, I know what I want and who," she smiled at him then, not her everyday smile, but a smile that had to be just for him; so full of affection and understanding. This time Shepard leaned towards Kaidan and their lips touched just as there was loud bang and the sound of shattering glass in the front of the restaurant.

_Author's note: This story is largely wish fulfillment on my part. While I hope the third game includes Kaidan and Shepard together again, considering Horizon, I'm not holding my breath. I'm an avid Shenko shipper. There is going to be action in this story but it's main focus for right now is those two getting back together and about Shepard dealing with the aftermath of her break from Cerberus and the Illusive Man._

_Many thanks to my excellent beta reader __Wyl._


	2. Chapter 2 Hemlock

Kaidan and Shepard both stood up and began to glow with dark energy. Out of the corner of his eye Kaidan saw Shepard turn towards a person with dark hair, before his full attention was drawn back towards the front of the restaurant by gun fire and the entrance of four armed mercenaries. Kaidan used his biotics to throw one of the mercenaries into a wall. He shot another with his pistol just as he felt Shepard stumble into him with a gasp. He caught her with one arm around her waist and began backing them up towards a decorative wooden barrier between their booth and the entrance to the kitchen.

As Kaidan was backing towards cover firing his pistol, the C-Sec Special Response Team arrived. He stopped firing and dropped to his knees, bringing Shepard with him. Her face was obscured by her long hair; Kaidan could hear her gasping for breath and feel her shaking under his arm. He leaned back from her, "Shepard?"

"K-Kaidan?" she gasped looking up at him and held out her blood soaked left hand. Kaidan's mind came to a screeching halt for a moment before snapping into overdrive. He stood and grabbed her cape off the bench seat of their booth and pressed it to her side; Shepard's breath hissed through her teeth. Kaidan swung her up in to his arms and walked to the now deadly quiet front of the restaurant.

A C-Sec officer stepped forward to intercept him, "My…girlfriend's bleeding," Kaidan said.

The blonde haired officer reacted immediately, waving one of paramedics with a stretcher over. Kaidan gently put Shepard on the stretcher and stepped back. The C-Sec officer muttered a curse under his breath. Kaidan glanced at him and the officer said, "I'm Captain Bailey, I dealt with your girlfriend the last time she was on the Citadel." Kaidan recognized the name from Shepard's report and he also realized that Bailey was reluctant to name Shepard.

A hiss from the paramedic drew both men's attention back to Shepard. The paramedic had pulled the cape from Shepard's side and clearly not liked what he'd seen. Quickly pressing the makeshift bandage back, the paramedic punched the button to activate the hoverfield and rushed Shepard off. Two C-Sec agents followed at a run. Kaidan watched and very reluctantly turned back to Captain Bailey, who was studying Kaidan's face intently. Kaidan cleared his throat and Bailey asked, "Your name soldier?"

"Kaidan Alenko."

Bailey nodded slightly, as if confirming his suspicions, "I would prefer to take your statement in private at C-Sec," Kaidan opened his mouth, but Bailey motioned him to silence. "They took her to the Hospital here on the Zakera Ward, it's not far. I'll have a couple of agents escort you there. I'll come to get your statement later." Turning to an asari agent Bailey said, "grab your partner and take him to the hospital and stay with him until I relieve you."

OoOoO

Shepard opened her eyes to find herself lying on her back in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. She also had respiration assistor stuck to her throat and one attached to her chest just above her heart. "You're awake. You've been asleep for a little more than fifteen hours," whispered Kaidan as leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I got stabbed," she said and reached up to rub her mouth, only to encounter the breath mask. She sighed and rubbed her eyes instead, "I didn't think it was that bad. Then I felt sick and it was so hard to breath."

Kaidan's voice dropped to a low growl, "You don't remember who stabbed you?" She shook her head and Kaidan went on. "Well, Captain Bailey's people found the blade that was used to stab you on the floor. The knife was poisoned with Conium maculatum or Hemlock."

Shepard's eyes widened briefly then narrowed, "Are you kidding?"

Kaidan snorted, his amber brown eyes were harder than granite, "Apparently, the Illusive Man reads his history and has a flare for the dramatic."

"I'll say. "

"You certainly do know how to pick your enemies."Shepard growled something under her breath, Kaidan grinned wolfishly at her, nodding, "when you carry out that threat I want to help." Shepard nodded and reached towards him. The anger left his eyes and he shifted forward in his seat, "you were lucky; the doctor knew what Hemlock poisoning looks like."

The two of them sat there for several minutes looking each other. She brushed his face, "I had a dream about you. You said you were going to be my key to coming home.'"

He smiled at her and leaned toward her to kiss her forehead again before sitting back and regarding her for a moment. "I like the idea of taking you home, but you're going to have to wait for a couple of days. The doctors want you to stay here, despite the danger."

"Why?"

"Because, there's no known cure for Hemlock, Medi-gel won't do it. The human body usually takes two to four days to rid itself of the contaminate." He eyed her scar free complexion for a moment. "Though with those implants Cerberus put in, that may not be the case for you."

"Better safe than sorry," a man said from the door. He was standing next to Dr. Chakwas, "I'm Dr. Jemis. I treated you when you first arrived here. Dr. Chakwas and I have been talking about your medical history. Staff Commander Alenko and Captain Bailey have both informed me of recent events," the doctor gestured at the two C-Sec agents that Shepard hadn't noticed before.

"You're following our advice then?" Kaidan asked surprised.

"Dr. Jemis has agreed that it would be safer for you if we transfer Captain Shepard to the Med Bay on the _Normandy_ for further treatment," Dr. Chakwas stated. An impish gleam came into the Doctor's eyes, "though I think it may have something to do with the reporter who showed up this morning looking for Commander Alenko and his unnamed female companion."

OoOoO

A day later, Doctor Chakwas declared Shepard's body free of Hemlock and certified her fit for light duty. Which Chakwas had emphasized did _not_ include combat missions or sparring. Now Shepard stood alone in her cabin staring at her model of the original _Normandy_.

"Staff Commander Alenko is at the door, Shepard," EDI informed Shepard.

She turned and walked towards the door, "Let him in EDI."

Kaidan stood there wearing N7 armor holding a datapad with an unsure smile on his face, "Hello. I heard you need a new XO."

The first thing out of her mouth was, "When did you become an N?"

Kaidan blinked and looked down at the Special Forces designation on his chest armor, "About a month after you died I volunteered and was accepted. I got my 7 proficiency ranking on the mission I took right after Horizon."

Shepard stepped forward and brushed her fingers over the N7 and looked up at him, "You certainly deserve it. I remember how well you fight; and I saw that you're even more of crack shot than you used to be," her mind jumped back to his question, "you want to be my XO? What about the fraternization regs?"

"I didn't get a chance to mention it before, but I had a very interesting conversation with Admiral Hackett at Arcturus. Hackett doesn't care so long as our feelings don't cloud our judgment in the field."

"And how did he know we were together?"

"He was the one who approved my application to the Special Forces. During the final interview process something I said or did tipped him off to our relationship. Once the official interview was over Hackett _invited me_ to have a drink with him. During the course of the next hour or so I told him more or less everything. Hackett was concerned at first that I was trying to get myself killed because I couldn't deal with loosing you. Which wasn't actually the case; I wanted to honor your memory by making myself strong enough to take your place in the fight against the Reapers and whatever else they decided to throw at us."

Kaidan paused a moment before adding as an afterthought, "Oh, and by the way, Hackett's a believer, like Anderson."

"Really? Good, at least I won't have to be Cassondra Complex Captain Shepard with my Alliance superior."

Kaidan chuckled briefly before going on, "Anyways, after I read the files on your campaign against the Collectors I told him that I wanted to be your Executive Officer. Hackett told me that he would approve of the transfer so long as we keep our relationship separate from duty."

"Just like that? Why would he do that?"

"I asked him that myself. He said quote: 'Shepard's a Spectre, which makes this a unique case.'"

"Meaning that he doesn't want either of us to have a reason to leave the Alliance," Shepard surmised.

Kaidan nodded. Shepard stepped back from her door, not taking her eyes from Kaidan's. He stepped into her quarters, the door shutting automatically behind him. "Well then," she held out her hand for the datapad, which he readily handed to her. She broke eye contact with him long enough to speed read the transfer request and sign off at the bottom before putting the datapad on her desk. Looking back up at him she smiled, "Staff Commander Alenko, your transfer request is accepted."

Kaidan smiled warmly, and stepping forward to wrap his arms around her waist he kissed her.

Sometime later they lay entwined on her bed, when Kaidan moved so he could look down at her face pillowed on his chest. "You haven't asked me how I could stay with the Alliance after what they said about you."

"No," she said simply, shifting slightly so she could meet his questioning gaze.

"Why?"

"Because I think I know most of the answer already." At his questioning look she went on, "two and a half years ago there were two main things in your life, the Alliance and me. When I was KIA all you had left was your career. You still had family and so on, but you lost yourself in duty to escape the pain. And also like you said, as my top lieutenant you inherited the nearly impossible job of stopping the Reapers, which meant you needed the Alliance's resources to continue the fight."

He ran his hand through her long hair, "You're mostly right; but it wasn't just to escape the pain. I stayed so I didn't have to face my life without you too often. You know how intensive N training is; it left me with very little time to myself and exhausted enough at night that I didn't dream about you. But you're right about the rest."

"Speaking of N training, how's your hand to hand these days?" she said grinning.

"Much better than it used to be. Why?"

Still grinning at him, "Despite what he said, Garrus is overseeing the addition of a sparring ring in the vehicle bay."

"What do you mean? What did he say?"

"When we were gearing up for the 'Suicide Mission' he explained to me that on turian war ships there's full contact sparing. He said it was supposed to relieve tension before a mission. Anyways, I offered to spar with him, to which he responded 'I'd rather not add my name to the list of people you've knocked on their asses.'"

Kaidan laughed, "So instead you'll knock me on my ass?"

With a positively wicked gleam in her green eyes she said gravely, "Not until I'm cleared for regular duty. And anyways, better me then some thug on a mission." they lay comfortably for several minutes before Shepard asked, "do you want to share the Captain's Cabin with me? I'm sure another private terminal could be put in."

He looked down at her again, "Why?" at her look he explained, "I hadn't actually given it much thought, Shepard. Do you want me too?"

She smiled, "Yes I do. There's another officer's cabin down on deck three that Miranda Lawson used when she was my XO. I was just hoping you wouldn't want to use it."

"Hmm…" he said pretending a grave expression to tease her. She affected a pout, which she wouldn't normally do, knowing exactly what he was doing, "I think two and half years is enough time apart from you," he remarked and began to tickle her.

She fended off his attack by the simple expedient of getting out of bed. She turned to face him long enough to stick her tongue out at him before going to take a shower. Kaidan debated going to join her for a long moment before deciding he really ought to go get his things from Joker. He'd left his duffle bag with the helmsman for his talk with Shepard so he wouldn't seem presumptuous. Sighing he began to pull his N7 armor back on.

_Author's Notes: Just in case you didn't know KIA means Killed In Action._

_For the purposes of my story Kaidan was N-6 at Horizon. He wasn't wearing his armor because he didn't want to give the locals anymore reason not to trust him._

_For those of you who don't know what a Cassondra Complex is it's a reference to Greek & Roman mythology. Apollo, in additions to his other domains, was the god of Seers. He fell in love with a mortal girl named Cassondra and asked her to become his lover. She said she would if he made her a Seer first. Apollo agreed and did so. After Apollo gave Cassondra the Sight she told him she would not have him ever. Rather then remove her Sight, Apollo let her keep it but cursed her never to be believed. Cassondra was the Seer who foresaw the fall of Troy. So a Cassondra Complex is when you know something horrible is coming but no one believes you. Harry was suffering from a Cassondra Complex in _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_._

_Many thanks to my excellent beta reader __Wyl._

_Thanks to my wonderful reviewers:_

_Noelle1230 : Thanks! I hope you like the rest of my story as much._

_jen4306 : Every time I think about ME3 it's got something to do with Shepard at least disagreeing with tIM._

_Kassandra Black : I'm a big Shenko shipper as well (obviously). I thought that perhaps I hadn't handled them getting together very well._

_Anne Onymous: I missed that one, thanks for pointing it out! _

_porcupinetheater: I know, I love Rock Bottom Brewery too._


	3. Chapter 3 Musings

Kaidan had trouble restraining his grin as he walked up to Joker in the cockpit, "Thanks for watching my bag."

Joker spun his chair to face Kaidan. Kaidan saw that hiding his elation behind a mask of solemnity wasn't going to work on Joker. The man simply knew Kaidan to well. "Have a good interview Commander?" he asked with a knowing smirk.

It took all of Kaidan's self control not to change his expression. From the widening of Joker's smirk, Kaidan knew he was only partially successful. In the most clipped and military tone Kaidan could muster he growled, "My interview went well, Mr. Moreau."

Joker's smirk faltered at Kaidan's tone and the use of his full name and rank. The smirk melted off his face and Joker cleared his throat, "Commander."

Kaidan nodded sharply to Joker and picked up his bag. After turning away from the pilot Kaidan smiled slightly. Kaidan had never succeeded in shutting down Joker's teasing quite so effectively. His thoughts strayed back to Shepard and his smile became a grin of deep satisfaction. When Kaidan passed the young redhead standing in front of the elevator, she saluted him and said in a cheerful tone, "Yeoman Kelly Chambers; Captain Shepard's personal assistant and ship's councilor."

Kaidan returned the salute and said, "Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko, Executive Officer."

"I just received confirmation from Arcturus of your transfer directly from Fifth Fleet Admiral Steven Hackett."

"Thank you, Yeoman. The rest of my things are to be sent to the Captain's Cabin. And would you arrange for another terminal and chair to be setup there as well?"

"I have a question, sir, if I may," Kaidan nodded to Chambers and she continued, "When you were in that fight in the restaurant did you see who stabbed the Captain?"

Kaidan's expression darkened, his smile fading, and he shook his head, "No, all I saw was dark hair. A little shorter than Shepard. But I didn't see anything beyond that. I can't even say for sure whether the person was male or female.

"Whoever the Illusive Man tasked to kill Shepard planned the attack well," Kelly remarked her tone tinged with anger. Kaidan nodded thinking that it was oddly inconsistent for the Illusive Man to kill Shepard, even after she turned her back on him. According to the Alliance's latest intelligence on the Illusive Man, he still firmly believed Shepard was the only one who could stop the Reaper threat.

When Kaidan walked back into their cabin, Shepard was standing in the middle of their living area in a fresh uniform, brushing out her wet hair. She smiled at him as he dropped his duffle bag on the floor next to her closet, "I met Yeoman Chambers. She's rather…cheerful. Do you like having a secretary?"

Shepard rolled her eyes, "The word you're looking for is chipper. Honestly, at first it was irritating. But, well, I've gotten used to it. For a while after we got back she was a bit off. Post-traumatic Stress, most of the crew had that problem to some extent, they're mostly okay now though. They all got counseling on Arcturus. Also she's not just a secretary she-"

"Is the ship's councilor," Kaidan interrupted her, "she told me. Anyways, something she said got me thinking. Why would the Illusive Man try to kill you?"

Shepard gave him a look of incredulity. In the encouraging tone one would use when teaching a child to tie their shoes she said, "Because I destroyed the Collector Base and then I brought the _Normandy_ and its crew to the Alliance."

"That's not what I meant, Shepard. I mean if he truly believes that you're the only one who can stop the Reapers why would he try to kill you?"

Shepard opened her mouth to say something then paused and closed her mouth. She absently put the brush on her desk and sat down on the bed thinking. Kaidan watched her for a moment, then deciding she would be at it for awhile, went to his bag and began digging for his razor and a clean uniform. Once he found both he went into the bathroom to take his own shower.

When Kaidan turned off the shower he heard Shepard talking to the ship's VI. No she was arguing with it. And the VI was arguing back. Wait, what? Kaidan walked out of the bathroom, Shepard was sitting cross-legged on the bed with her private terminal in front of her. Kaidan stood frozen in the threshold looking at the interface.

Something about the look on his face made Shepard break off mid-sentence and ask, "Kaidan?"

"That's an AI."

Shepard snorted in amusement and waved her hand at the AI's interface. Taking the hint the AI said, "It is nice to meet you Staff Commander Alenko, the crew call me EDI."

"AI's are illegal, Shepard."

Shepard nodded, "I know that Kaidan, but EDI's part of my crew. She saved all our lives several times during the Mission. We couldn't have gone so far without her."

"You didn't report this to the Alliance or the Council."

"Not to the Council in general but both Hackett and Anderson know about EDI."

Kaidan eyed the AI's interface, "That's going to take some getting used to…" Shepard smiled thinly at him, which he took to mean that she knew _exactly_ what he was talking about, "so what were you arguing about?"

"We weren't arguing Commander Alenko; we were having a discussion about the Illusive Man." Shepard rolled her eyes and shook her head at Kaidan. "I was telling Shepard that the Illusive Man would not be angry at her for leaving Cerberus. The Illusive Man had hoped that she would remain with Cerberus beyond the campaign against the Collectors; to this end he assigned Mr. Taylor to her in the hopes that she would develop an affection for him and adopt his anti-Alliance sentiments. I believe that the Illusive Man miscalculated in his underestimation Shepard's distrust of Cerberus and her affection for you."

Shepard coughed and Kaidan cold have sworn she almost blushed. When she looked up at his face she still looked disconcerted. "You know, I think I'm beginning to like you, EDI," Kaidan said with a half-smile.

Shepard groaned and punched Kaidan's shoulder. Kaidan laughed and she moved to punch him again. Kaidan caught her fist and spun her around, tucking her against his body so her back was to his chest. "Caught you," he whispered in her ear before kissing her neck. Shepard shivered and didn't move to get away from him. Out of the corner of his eye Kaidan saw EDI vanish from her interface by the door. Grinning, Kaidan turned his full attention back to the woman in his arms.

OoOoO

That evening an hour after dinner, Kaidan and Jacob were sparring, with Shepard playing referee. They were continuing the debate about the Illusive Man's motives.

Shepard said, "He was obviously trying to send me a message; 'no matter where you are or what you're doing I can get to you' or something to that effect. But really, I'd already figured that one out."

Joker spoke over the ship comm., "We've got a message coming in from Admiral Hackett, Captain."

"I'll be right there," she said walking off the mat and heading for the elevator.

"I should get back to work too," Jacob said and walked to the edge of the mat to grab his bottle of water before following Shepard to the elevator. When Shepard and Jacob got there Garrus walked out and nodded to them as they stepped in and Jacob pressed the button for deck two.

Kaidan was standing at the edge of the mat with his own bottle of water when Garrus walked over to him and said, "How about a friendly round?"

Kaidan look at Garrus and said, "It wouldn't be a very good work out for you, Garrus. Jacob and I were sparring for some time before she was called away."

Turians could be difficult for some humans to read, Kaidan had worked with enough to have a basic understanding of their methods of expression. What he read in Garrus's body language made Kaidan uneasy. Kaidan was fairly certain that whatever the turian wanted from a spar with him, Kaidan did not want Garrus to get it.

When Kaidan made no move to join him on the mat Garrus said, "You said at dinner last night that you were an N-7 now. I was wondering if your fighting skills have improved at all in the last couple of years."

Kaidan knew what this was. Garrus was trying to provoke Kaidan's pride in order to get him to willingly enter the ring with the turian. Kaidan could feel his ego stirring and tried with limited success to clamp it down. If he was going to oblige Garrus and spar with him, Kaidan had to keep his head. Ego tripping just now seemed like a supremely bad idea because if he was reading Garrus's body language was right the turian was livid.

Thinking it over for another moment, Kaidan took another swallow of water before capping the bottle and setting it down, "Alright Garrus, best out of three."

Garrus nodded as Kaidan stepped into the center of the broad sparring circle opposite him. The two of them bowed. As soon as he was upright again Garrus exploded in to action, clearly trying to catch Kaidan off balance. Kaidan wasn't particularly surprised and blocked the kick aimed at his stomach and retaliated with a strike aimed at the turian's face. Stepping back to avoid Garrus's retaliatory punch, Kaidan waited for Garrus to attack again before using a perfect Aikido move to throw the turian without even touching him.

Garrus ran back at Kaidan and Kaidan saw an opportunity for a joint lock and grabbed it, pinning Garrus to the mat. Kaidan put pressure on the turian's elbow until Garrus tapped the mat to indicate surrender. Kaidan stood and stepped back as Garrus got to his feet again shaking out his arm. Garrus nodded to Kaidan saying, "I had wondered why Shepard wanted you back on her team." Kaidan's eyes narrowed in thought; Garrus wasn't the sort to make idle comments of that nature nor was he the sort to say anything against Shepard's command decisions, ever.

Kaidan eyed Garrus speculatively. The turian was utterly loyal to Shepard, of that Kaidan had no doubt, but there was a darker edge to the man's thinking now. Garrus had joined Shepard on her mission against the Collectors with no hesitation. With a start Kaidan realized what, and who, Garrus was angry at. It was so obvious that Kaidan felt like an idiot for not seeing it before. Garrus was angry with Kaidan for not joining Shepard and wouldn't let himself say so to anyone, not even Kaidan, maybe not even to himself. So Garrus had decided to try the next best thing and try to pound Kaidan into the mat to relieve his rage.

Garrus stepped back into the center of the circle and the two of them bowed. Garrus attacked first again aiming a kick at Kaidan's jaw. Kaidan blocked the move and swept Garrus's other foot from under him. The turian fell heavily to the mat and rolled backwards to avoid being caught on the ground by his opponent. Garrus came in telegraphing his next attack early enough that Kaidan was able to set up for another perfect no-touch Aikido throw.

Garrus rolled to his feet instantly this time and spun in close enough to get under Kaidan's guard and catch Kaidan with a glancing blow on his face that was never the less strong enough to send Kaidan reeling back. Kaidan barely had time to recover before Garrus was on him again. This time Garrus slammed Kaidan torso into his thigh. Garrus then mercilessly grabbed Kaidan's arm and slammed him into the mat. Kneeling next to Kaidan's head Garrus put pressure on Kaidan's shoulder. Kaidan tapped the mat to concede the match, but Garrus didn't release the pressure. "You've won the match; popping my shoulder out won't add to that," Kaidan growled through his teeth. The pressure on his shoulder instantly vanished as Garrus stood up.

Kaidan stood slowly messaging his shoulder, "I'm a vastly different person that you, Garrus. That's why Shepard didn't even ask me to join her team on Horizon."Garrus growled low in his throat but he didn't say anything, "you left C-Sec twice because you don't like playing by the rules," Garrus's head snapped up and he looked at Kaidan with the coldest eyes Kaidan ever hoped to see, "then you went to Omega to play vigilante so you wouldn't have to face how far you'd fallen." Kaidan knew it was practically suicidal to provoke Garrus this way but considering the alternative would probably end with one or both of them in the Med Bay with serious injuries, Kaidan was willing to take the risk so he went on, "then your team got slaughtered and you blame yourself because you didn't see the traitor in your midst."

_Author's Notes: I used a quote from Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan Series in this chapter._

_The form of Aikido that Kaidan is referring to is called Ki Aikido which differs from the more commonly known Aikikai._

_My analysis of Garrus is based in part on what he said in Mass Effect 2 and partly by the description of turian culture on the Mass Effect Wiki article about turians: __.com/wiki/Turian#Culture_

_Thanks to my excellent beta Wyl!_

_Thanks to my wonderful reviewers:_

_Jen4306: tIM's definitely has bad karma! _

_Noelle1230: Where else would he sleep? Don't worry I intend to!_

_Inverness: The way I read tIM is that he would not take kindly to be told essentially "shut and do what I tell you." I doubt that Paragon Shepard would continue to ignore the 'Playing with Needles' thing that Cerberus likes to do so much. Also, "without compromising the heart of our species" paragon Shepard does not think highly of Cerberus' methods. I can totally Shepard Shang Hai'ing Cerberus for her own needs. For the third game, despite enjoying the awesome free reign of working for Cerberus, I really hope the only way Shepard is working with them again is if Shepard is telling tIM what to do. _

_Kassandra Black: Dr. Chakwas was very clear for the time being Shepard is only cleared for light duties... ::shifty eyes:: …and this is in no way a plot device…_


	4. Chapter 4 Consequences

With a roar Garrus charged Kaidan. It took all of Kaidan's speed to keep Garrus from hockey checking him to the mat. As it was Kaidan barely got off the line in time. Kaidan spun as Garrus aimed a punch at his solar plexus. Kaidan grabbed the wrist but didn't quite succeed in completing the intended kote-oroshi because Garrus reacted by jumping backwards. Kaidan stood ready and waited, Garrus clearly still angry but he was thinking now. This time when Garrus charged him he attempted a chop to the side of Kaidan's neck.

Garrus felt himself snarl, as Kaidan spun away from his strike. Kaidan was a much better fighter now, but that didn't matter. Garrus felt himself go off balance, again. He rolled and stood. How the hell was this puny human throwing him around the mat without even touching him? Stupid humans and their tricks. Garrus turned and aimed a kick at Kaidan's side.

Kaidan blocked Garrus's roundhouse kick and retaliated with an uppercut that connected with Garrus's jaw hard enough to make Garrus stumble back slightly dazed. Taking advantage of this Kaidan strode forward to grab Garrus's arm. With practiced ease Kaidan used sankyo to pin Garrus face down on the mat. Kaidan only had to change the traditional form slightly for it to work against the turian. Without moving Kaidan said, "I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you before. I have a great deal of respect for the things you accomplished on Omega. I doubt I could have done as much. But I think you need to consider carefully and figure out why you're really angry."

Garrus, still face down on the mat, growled, "You don't deserve to have Shepard back after the way you spoke to her on Horizon."

Kaidan rolled his eyes, "I never deserved to have Shepard. But she chose me anyway. How can you respect Shepard as much as you do and not respect her right to choose?"

Garrus grunted and went limp under Kaidan. After a moment Kaidan moved and let Garrus stand up. They stood looking at each other.

"Interesting." Kaidan and Garrus both spun to face Shepard. She stood entirely relaxed, leaning against one of the large fans. Jacob, Tali, Mordin and Thane behind her looked anything but relaxed and calm. Shepard went on in the same mild tone of voice, "When I asked Joker to page my squad he told me the two of you were at each other's throats. Or more specifically he said that my Armory Officer was trying to kill my new Executive Officer. I thought that perhaps I should come down here and pull you off each other."

Kaidan barely restrained a wince. He could hear Garrus next to him, the turian was still winded. Kaidan glanced at Garrus out of the corner of his eye; they both really ought to hit the Med Bay. Kaidan could feel his ribs every time he took a breath. Shepard went on to say, "Normally, I would discipline you both," Shepard was still talking in that mild and detached tone of voice. To Kaidan, her tone made the dressing down even worse. But Shepard wasn't finished with them yet, "the worst thing about this whole situation is that I need you both on active duty because I'm not medically cleared for combat missions. Instead, the two you seem content to put each other in the Med Bay and out of action."

"We have a mission in the Tesla Nebula; we'll be there in ten hours. When I dismiss you, both of you are to report to Doctor Chakwas." Her gaze rested on Garrus, "when she releases you, you're then to report to Tali in engineering for any tasks or maintenance that need to be done." She shifted her gaze to Kaidan, "when Doctor Chakwas releases you, report to Mordin in the tech lab for any tasks he needs done. Your work details are to last until three hours before the mission. You are both dismissed." when the two of them were walking to the elevator Kaidan heard Shepard say, "Tali, Mordin try not to tire them out, I might need them both to be combat ready when we get to the Nebula."

OoOoO

They were already enroute to the Tesla Nebula when she returned to the cockpit to talk to Joker, his first remark to her after he turned his chair to face her was, "Now that's what I call scary calm; even Captain Anderson would have lost his temper with those two." she stared at him a moment before Joker added, "and now you're being scary calm with me. I think I'm just going to stop talking now."

She waited for another moment to be sure that he did stop talking. When the pilot actually remained silent, a monumental feat in and of itself, she informed him, "A turian patrol was ambushed in the Gingham System. Once we've cleared the last relay in the Tesla Nebula I want us running silent." Shepard then handed him an encrypted OSD, "take us to these coordinates."

"Yes, Captain." Joker responded. Shepard turned and walked away from the pilot.

She was of two minds with regards to Kaidan and Garrus. As their commanding officer she was disappointed and angry with both of them. But duty aside, she agreed with Kaidan's method of dealing with a nearly impossible situation, particularly after watching the whole of what had happened between the two men. But Garrus, Shepard was becoming concerned about him. The more time she spent with him the more she got the impression that Garrus was lost in the woods. Considering all she knew of turian society in general and what she knew of Garrus in particular she thought perhaps he resented Kaidan for his patience with and loyalty to the Alliance.

A small part of Shepard couldn't help but be angry with both men for complicating everything. Particularly Garrus; what right did he have to judge who was worthy of her? And Kaidan, he'd been on the _Normandy_ for less than a day and he'd already gotten into a fight with one of her other officers. Both men were acting like fools, if she were still with Cerberus she would have felt free to discipline them more severally then she had.

Shepard froze in the act of turning on her private terminal by the galaxy map in the CIC. What was she thinking? She'd hated working with Cerberus; their high handed treatment of her and her people had put her in a towering rage more than once. Add to that their recent attack on her, and she couldn't figure out why was she thinking so favorably of them now.

It didn't matter; her dealings with those terrorists were over. Shaking her head, she set her mind firmly on the upcoming mission. She needed to figure out who she would send out, as her XO Kaidan would be in charge. She'd originally planned on sending Garrus, but given his current mental state she wasn't sure that he should be in the field, particularly with Kaidan in charge. Without knowing what her people would be facing she wanted a well rounded team, to that end Shepard decided to send Jacob and Thane. A Vanguard and an Infiltrator would balance well with Kaidan's Sentinel training.

She looked at the time on her terminal and guessed that Doctor Chakwas would have released Garrus by now. If she was correct in her estimation then Kaidan would still be in the Med Bay. She guessed he had bruised or broken ribs, which would take longer for the doctor to treat, and she wanted to speak to Kaidan first.

Walking into the Med Bay a few minutes later, Shepard found that she had been correct in her guess about Kaidan's ribs. Chakwas was just walking over to him with tape when Shepard walked in. Less than a half an hour had passed and Kaidan's left side was already gloriously bruised. Chakwas said, "Captain," and nodded to Shepard before starting to tape the commander's ribs.

"What's the damage, doctor?" Shepard asked.

"Commander Alenko has three bruised ribs, fortunately they weren't cracked. He and Vakarian both have assorted bruises and contusions. Captain, I request that a moderator be required to be present during all sparring matches."

Shepard nodded, "I hadn't thought I needed to require such but I don't want a repeat of this incident. It will be done." She shifted her focus to Kaidan. She caught his wince before his face went swiftly blank. Kaidan braced to attention and saluted; it was clear that only Chakwas's work on his ribs kept him from standing.

Shepard watched as Dr. Chakwas finished taping Kaidan's ribs. When the doctor was done Shepard asked, "Are you finished with him doctor?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Is he cleared for combat?" Chakwas nodded affirmative without hesitation.

Shepard turned back to Kaidan saying, "I want a word in private before you report to Doctor Solis." Kaidan stood and followed her to Miranda's former office. Once the door closed behind him she spun to face him, "Staff Commander Alenko, I would like an explanation for the incident involving yourself and Mr. Vakarian," Kaidan blinked, clearly surprised, "what?"

"I don't know what I was expecting, sir, but that wasn't it."

Shepard's eyes narrowed, "We can discuss our private feelings later, that's not why I dragged you in here." Refocusing she went on, "Commander Alenko, explain, now." Shepard stated still in an even tone.

"Ma'am."

"Ma'am is not an answer, Commander, it is an evasion," she observed in her 'scary calm' voice.

Kaidan sighed, "Ma'am, after you and Gunnery Chief Taylor left, Garrus came to me asking to spar. Sensing something was wrong. Initially, I turned down the request. I eventually realized he was angry… specifically he was angry at me. I judged that if unresolved the situation would grow worse and eventually become a distraction, not only for him but for the crew as well. I decided to oblige Garrus and spar with him. Based on some things in the report he gave to Admiral Hackett and what he said to me during our fight I figured out that he was using me as a safe target for his anger at himself. That's why I provoked him in the manner I did." During this speech Shepard had stood listening passively. After contemplating his words for a moment, she nodded slowly.

After a moment of thought she sighed, "As an officer, I think you handled a bad situation in the best manner possible." Kaidan breathed deeply and relaxed slightly, nodding. After a moment of thought Shepard went on, "About Garrus, what are your thoughts on his state of mind?"

Kaidan sighed, and shook his head, "He's a bit…" Kaidan paused for moment clearly searching for the right word, "unbalanced. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of letting Sidonis live or actually surviving your Suicide Mission, but the way I spoke to both of you on Horizon got bound up in his anger somehow. I think I succeeded in resolving his problem with me but the underlying issue is still there."

Shepard let out a slow breath considering carefully before saying very slowly, "What I'm going to tell you is not to be repeated," after a moment she added in a louder voice, "that includes you too Joker if you're watching this." her voice shifted back to her normal tone as she went on, "Garrus once said to me 'I don't think I'm a very good turian.' He was somewhat lost when we first met him but now…"

Kaidan nodded, "I was thinking that perhaps he focused his rage on me because I stayed with the Alliance even with all the crap they gave the crew of the original _Normandy_ and everything they said about you. He doesn't understand why I had to stay."

Shepard nodded, "I thought that might be the case."

"I also think there's something else, it has to do with our personal lives though." Shepard nodded for Kaidan continue, "I think he takes exception to how easily you forgave me after Horizon."

Shepard rubbed her forehead saying, "Oh great, a grey knight out to protect my honor from an undeserving lover…"

Kaidan flashed a small grin, before going serious again, "I'm not sure this is something either of us is equipped to deal with."

"No, you're right. I'm certainly going to talk to him about what happened. He needs to talk to a counselor but I don't know if Kelly has the training to deal with this either. I'm not sure if she knows about turian psychology." Shepard stood thinking for several minutes before coming back to herself. She looked around the room they stood in. "you know I think I want to turn this into an office and briefing room since you're not going to use it. It always seemed unfair for Miranda to have an office and private bedroom when most of the crew hot bunks…"

Kaidan nodded, clearly thinking about other things, "One with seats like the first _Normandy_."

Shepard snorted in amusement but nodded, "I agree, I liked that set up. Sort of like the Knights of the Roundtable."

"If there's nothing else, Captain?"

"You're dismissed, Commander." Kaidan left the room, and after a few moments more of contemplating the nearly empty room she walked out. She still had to talk to Garrus but she needed to find out if Kelly knew anything about turian psychology first.

_Author's Note: There's a couple of quotes in here from the Miles Vorkosigan Universe which belong to Lois McMaster Bujold._

_Many many thanks to my wonderful Beta Wyl! This fic would not be half as good without you._

_JovianJeff: Thank you! Mordin wasn't involved because he was on the _Normandy_, and Shepard was taken to a hospital on the Citadel. By the time she was back on the _Normandy_ most of the poison was out of her system._


	5. Chapter 5 Cloak

After finding out that Kelly did know the basics of turian psychology, Shepard requested that the yeoman set aside some time to talk to Garrus. When she left the CIC, Kelly was looking up more in depth reference material on turians.

When she walked into engineering, Shepard was treated a truly disconcerting view of Garrus being hung about four feet above the deck plating by Jack's biotics. Shepard stood frozen for a moment before she realized that Garrus was repairing a circuit board. She stood watching this bizarre scene for several moments before clearing her throat. Gabby, Ken, Tali, and Jack all turned to face her. Garrus meanwhile dropped to the floor with a thud; it was a credit to the turian's reflexes that he actually managed to land on his feet.

Tali was the first to speak. "I asked him to repair-"

Shepard held up her hand, "So long as you don't break my Armory Officer, you may put him to any task you see fit." Turning to Garrus she said, "come with me please Mr. Vakarian."

The two of them walked out of engineering and into the Starboard Cargo area where Zaeed had lived during his stay on the _Normandy_, "Garrus, I would like an explanation for the incident involving yourself and Staff Commander Alenko."

Garrus stood stiffly at attention and spoke in an equally stiff tone, "I challenged Staff Commander Alenko to a sparring match. The Commander won the first round and I commented on his improved combat prowess. In our next round I was rougher with the Commander. He took exception to this and before our next match he commented about the time I spent on Omega. The match you saw was our third round; as you saw the Commander won."

Shepard stood regarding Garrus for several minutes, during which he was clearly growing more and more uncomfortable. She didn't often have a call to use it, but Shepard had nearly infinite patience. She waited another couple of minutes before Garrus finally stood down from attention and looked at her. "Why did you challenge Kaidan?"

"After I learned earlier that Commander Alenko was an N7 now I was curious about how his combat skills had changed."

Shepard raised an eyebrow at this. After considering for a moment she said, "You are to set aside sometime to speak with Yeoman Chambers. I'm also temporarily taking you off ground missions."

"Captain!" Garrus protested. Shepard blinked in surprise, Garrus never referred to her by her Alliance rank, ever. She must have hit some buried turian reflex.

"Commander Alenko has three bruised ribs and we're nine hours out from a combat mission against a completely unknown enemy."

Garrus looked away, "Yes, Captain."

"You're dismissed, Mr. Vakarian."

Once Garrus had left, Shepard followed him back to engineering. She wanted to talk to Tali. Shepard really liked the idea of changing Miranda's office into a briefing room and secondary office. As it turned out, Tali did too; they spent twenty minutes hashing out exactly what Shepard wanted in her new briefing room. After which she left Engineering to see to her other duties.

OoOoO

Once Doctor Solis released him, Kaidan headed to the Loft to get a shower and prepare for the mission. When he walked in Shepard was working at her private terminal. Because of this he didn't disturb her. He went to take a shower, and after a few minutes Shepard joined him. She worried over his bruised ribs like any other girlfriend would. Though her comment that it was nice to see a sunrise in space was a bit unusual it was still fitting; the left side of his torso was a magnificent array of red, black and blue. Thanks to Chakwas's copious use of MediGel and his Alliance genemods, his ribs weren't as painful as they could be, though it would be some days before he was fully healed.

There was something off in the way she was acting. Putting his fingers under her chin he gently raised her face so that she would look at him, "What's wrong?" Shepard shook her head and looked down. "Shepard…?" Kaidan paused before commenting thoughtfully, "you know I've never heard anyone call you by your first name. Not even Councilor Anderson." He brushed a finger along her cheek before asking again, "what's wrong?"

Her green eyes were wide and over bright, "Why do you always call me Shepard?"

He smiled, and letting go of her chin he answered, "Habit. Why? What would you like me to call you? Pet? Blossom? Cherì? Fleur? Un Sucrè? Amour?"

Shepard giggled, "I didn't even understand half of those. What language was that?"

Kaidan kissed her lips briefly before answering, "French; Cheri means darling, fleur means flower, un sucrè means sweet one, and amour means love."

"Any one of those is fine when we're alone. Except pet; you're not allowed to call me pet."

Kaidan smiled at her, "Vey well. Nice try by the way, cherì. Now what's bothering you?" Shepard sighed and tried to turn away but he wouldn't let her, "talk to me, amour."

She looked up at him again and he saw tears standing in her eyes, "The last time I let one of my people go on a mission without me," she blink and a tear rolled down her cheek, "Ash died."

He brushed the tear away and kissed the cheek where it had fallen, "This is a completely different situation from Virmire."

"Yeah, it's worse."

"Is it?"

"There's nothing worse than the unknown," Kaidan shook his head as Shepard went on, "whatever we're heading into managed to neutralize three turian frigates. Your squad might be going into a hot zone."

"And you're not going to be there to help us?" Kaidan asked, she nodded looking down. Kaidan took a deep breath and said, "Un sucrè, I swear to you I will do everything in my power to come back; to bring all your people back alive." He pulled her against his chest and rested his chin on the top of her head. He'd never seen her like this, not even the night before Ilos.

He held her close until she pulled away and looked up at his face, "You could call me Lucille, you know, or Luci."

He smiled, "I could. But where's the fun in that?" She giggled, he looked at her startled. Kaidan never would have guessed that Shepard giggled. Then again he never would have thought she was ticklish either; live and learn.

He turned the shower off and picked up his towel. She did the same. When he was dry he walked out of the bathroom and began pulling on his N7 armor. She came out of the bathroom dressed in clean undress blues and brushing out her long red hair. When he was armed and armored he watched her finish brushing her hair and begin to twist it into a bun on the back of her head, "Why do you keep your hair so long when it's so much trouble to take care of?" he asked curiously.

Once she had secured her hair, she looked at him. "My mom always kept my hair long when I was little. By the time I was old enough to take care of my hair myself I was so used to it that I didn't even think about cutting it. Then when my family was killed… well it was sort of a tribute to all of them. They all had the red hair you see, my brothers' too," her eyes were sad and reflected past pain, "God damn batarian bastards. Anyways, that's why I keep my hair long."

He went to her and pulled her into his arms and kissed her. After they parted he said, "Mon cherì ne crains pas pour moi," then he translated for her, "My darling, don't fear for me."

"How do you say 'I can't help it.'?"

"Je ne peux pas l'aider."

"Je ne peux pas l'aider," she repeated. Kaidan half-smiled and they walked out of the loft with Kaidan in the lead.

OoOoO

In another two hours the _Normandy_ came to the area where the turian patrol was ambushed. One of the ships was completely destroyed. Of the two remaining ships one was completely depressurized and the other had substantial damage to its outer haul. Scans taken of the wreckage revealed that the ambushers were likely batarians. Further scans of the area revealed the presence of four batarian ships active and up to three destroyed ships.

Standing behind Joker in the cockpit, Shepard asked EDI, "What's their armament like?"

"Negligible; Hensa class cruisers, the four remaining ships have sustained damage ranging from moderate to severe."

Shepard considered a moment before deciding, "Alright, Joker, come about. Make a run on the cruiser with the most damage. Once the batarians surrender or are driven off, launch the squad shuttle for recon downside."

"Brace for evasive maneuvers," Joker announced over the loud speaker before complying with abandon. One thing was certain, Joker had been right all those years ago when he'd assured Shepard that he could make the _Normandy_ dance. On their first run EDI's target, dubbed the _Balchurn_, was completely blown apart. The _Normandy_ made two subsequent runs on the batarian force, destroying yet another cruiser the _Yar'sa_, before the survivors broke off and ran.

About to tell Joker to follow the fleeing batarians, Shepard stopped. The fleeing batarian ships were no threat to their current mission. The _Normandy_ would likely be gone before they could retaliate. A brief internal struggle ensued, during which half of her screamed that if she slaughtered them than she was no better than the batarians who had attacked Mindoir when she sixteen. The other half of her responded 'who cares they deserve it.'

Shepard growled in frustration before curtly ordering the shuttle launched and had Joker reinitialize the IES stealth system. EDI began to scan for the turian ships' black boxes and any escape pods still in orbit around the debris field.

OoOoO

When he jumped out of the drop shuttle ahead of Jacob and Thane, Kaidan's first impression of the planet Melba was of the humidity similar to that on Casbin. Only Melba was not the convenient pre-garden world that Casbin was. It was a Jungle, with nothing but trees and bugs on the main continent where they'd landed. The trees weren't the problem though, the large gnarled roots were. They were waist high and covered with some sort of slippery green slime. Jacob had not been cautious enough when jumping out of the shuttle and had slipped, face-planting in the slime.

After the shuttle had taken off, Kaidan led his team south towards the turian distress signal which was four kilometers away. After a short jog, however, they were attacked by a group of a dozen batarians. Mostly troopers but with two shock troopers, the batarian equivalent of an Alliance Vanguard, mixed in. After a running battle of several minutes Kaidan and his squad moved on through the jungle.

When they were still over two kilometers out, Kaidan was checking their position on his omni-tool when they jogged into a geth-like jamming field. Kaidan cursed under his breath, "Keep alert, we don't know what's out here," Thane and Jacob both nodded and they moved forward even more cautious than before.

When they were about a kilometer out from the turian distress signal, they nearly walked right into a batarian company stationed in a large clearing. Kaidan sent Thane to scout, while Jacob and Kaidan covered him from the crown of two large jungle trees near the edge of the clearing; not that they could follow his progress, Thane had vanished completely. They waited for Thane for nearly an hour before he appeared again beneath Kaidan's tree.

Kaidan and Jacob followed Thane a short distance from the clearing to hear his situation report, "There are six towers that are anchoring the jamming field. I found the turians, there's about three hundred individuals left. They're hold up on a hill with another two batarian companies, on the other side of the turian's position."

Jacob, who Kaidan thought of as a mild tempered man, cursed under his breath at the same time that Kaidan did. Three companies of batarians added up to over three hundred fighters. And the turians; they clearly had been hard hit hard, both in the space battle and groundside, the three Turians frigates would have had a combined crew of around nine hundred individuals.

_Author's Note: There's a Harry Potter reference in this chapter. I thought it was rather blatant but did you spot it? _

_I choose French for Kaidan because he mentions that his parents have a house in Vancouver. I know this is not one of the French Canadian Provinces but it would make sense for Kaidan to be able to speak at least some French. Before you ask; no, I do not speak French beyond being able to count to nine and a few random words that are the same in Latin; all the French translations are from __.com/__ If anyone does actually know French I apologize if I got the wording wrong. _

_All references about batarians and turians are taken from Mass Effect Wiki. I tried to be true to what is in the Wiki articles but there really isn't much there about ship classes and armaments or about battle tactics so I had to make up some things in order to create a complete picture of Kaidan and company's situation. _

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: Thank you! Garrus is my favorite character third only to Shepard and Kaidan. When I first started this story I was worried that my plans for Garrus were a bit Out Of Character. I'm glad I didn't make him so at least in this chapter. Scary Calm Shepard is an absolute joy for me to write! I'm glad you enjoyed her too! Don't worry I understood what you said._

_Jason Kreuger Myers: Thank you so much! That's my read on Garrus as well. Don't worry Garrus will get the help he needs at least in my story._

_JovianJeff: Thank you! And you're welcome. I wanted to put the explanation about Mordin in the chapter but I couldn't find any place that it fit. My cousin is in the military and he's says the worst dressing-downs he's received were from officers that don't yell and scream. Apparently, after basic that sort of thing is old hat. Hence not yelling is far more effective, not to mention novel enough to get your attention._


	6. Chapter 6 Contact

Kaidan's thoughts were flying a mile a minute. In a normal situation they would contact C-Sec for pick up of the down soldiers after neutralizing any threats in the area. With the jamming field in effect they couldn't even contact the _Normandy_ to apprise Shepard of their status and request back up. He knew Shepard wouldn't commit anymore troops until she knew what the situation was groundside.

Their operation in the Gingham System was first and foremost a rescue mission. That made getting the turians to a more defensible position Kaidan's first priority. Second priority was the jamming towers. Turning to Thane Kaidan asked, "Did you notice any caves or cliffs while you were out there?"

Thane cocked his head and nodded, "Several; there were two caverns that looked to be large enough for the turians to all fit."

"Good; tell me about the turians, how close to they are these caves?"

"Commander, moving more than three hundred people through this jungle isn't going to be quiet or stealthy."

"I'm aware of that," Kaidan considered carefully, it was more than likely that the batarians didn't know Kaidan and his squadron were there and they likely wouldn't for some time yet. He turned back to Thane, "distance?"

Thane actually grinned, "Half a kilometer, and it's the larger of the two."

"First we check out this cave, second we make contact with the turian survivors, third we move them as quickly as possible to that cave. Once we're there we get an assessment of all survivors, and raid the closest batarian camp for any medical supplies or provisions needed, including munitions. Once the turians are secured and defended, we hit those jamming towers ourselves. The three of us will keep out of sight as much as possible."

Thane led them to the cave he'd mentioned. Inside it was nearly as long as the _Normandy_'s CIC and about four times as wide. The entrance however was going to be a problem; it was not hidden or covered in any way and was four and a half meters tall and nearly two meters wide. The entrance also had a clearing of nearly ten meters in all directions around it. Kaidan looked around, considering. There were enough boulders and rocks above the entrance to cover about half of the hole and that fallen tree they'd passed on their way here would cover the rest and the branches would be readily moveable. Since all of Kaidan's squad had biotic abilities it was the work of less than ten minutes to make the cave entrance as stealthy as his Drell squad member.

With that done they set off to make contact with the turians. Kaidan was apprehensive about the upcoming contact. As a general rule turians were prejudiced against humans and resented humanity's graduation to Council race. Jogging through the jungle Kaidan considered the best way to handle what promised to be a tense situation. The prejudice might be offset by being the XO of the _Normandy_ and by the fact that his Captain was the first human Spectre; or it might not, they had killed Saren…

OoOoO

Shepard stood stock still behind Joker in the _Normandy_'s cockpit. Fifty minutes since the shuttle drop. After a short shoot out with batarians -and why was it _always_ batarians?- Kaidan had taken his squad on towards the turians' distress signal. Then less than ten minutes later all contact with the ground team was lost. Kaidan, Thane and Jacob had quite literally dropped off the grid; obviously the batarians had some kind of jamming technology. Shepard had ordered Legion and Tali to try and figure out a way to punch through the jamming field. They weren't having any luck so far.

Kaidan had been radio silent for thirty one minutes. Shepard wished she could go in and find him herself but she had a slight lingering muscular weakness from her Hemlock poisoning. She also couldn't justify sending another squad after them, not so soon, and defiantly not with the team he'd taken. All three members of the ground team were elites. Kaidan was an N7 just like she was. Shepard knew better than anyone on the _Normandy_ that N's were tougher than nails; their training made them that way and their missions required them to be so.

For the first time Shepard truly understood why there were rules against fraternization. Intellectually, she'd always known it divided loyalties and created conflicts of interest. But now she felt that draw. Part of her was insane enough by now to trade other peoples' lives for Kaidan's. But she _couldn't_ do anything for Kaidan now; any such action would be a disgrace to the uniform they both wore and a betrayal of the service to humanity they both shared. So she would wait, she had no choice.

Not one of these anxious thoughts for the well being of her lover showed through her calm exterior. For herself she could have endless patience; but when it came to her peoples' lives she was horrible at waiting.

OoOoO

The turian patrol was led by a General, but she'd been killed when her flagship had been completely destroyed. The turians were now led by the most junior of the three turian captains, a man named Kurion. At first he was not happy to see them, but upon learning that Kaidan was the Executive Officer of the _Normandy_ under Captain Shepard, he accepted their directions.

Preparing to move the group of three hundred and forty-seven turians was a trial in and of itself. Nearly all the soldiers had injuries and there were twenty-eight who couldn't walk. After ordering Jacob and Thane to help with the other preparations, Kaidan immediately offered his help to the sole surviving surgeon. The woman, Kalia, was harried; she only had three trained corpsmen helping her. Kaidan loved engineering challenges, and finding a way to move the non-walking wounded was no exception. Improvising twenty-eight stretchers would have been fun for him, had the situation not been so dire.

The batarians clearly realized what the turian preparations meant. The enemy commanders laid on the pressure with a series of four attacks against the turian held hill. Had the batarian commanders synchronized their assaults better they might have prevented the turians' move. After they fought their way through the batarian line, Thane took the lead and immediately activated his Tactical Cloak. He and Captain Kurion must have agreed to this beforehand, because Kaidan could hear the turian captain talking to the drell assassin. After they'd left the immediate area of the distress signal, the main group had no further problems. Leading the turians while staying hidden was difficult proposition, but they managed it.

As they neared their goal, Kaidan was jogging alone through the jungle, acting as a sentry for the main group's left flank when he heard the approach of several people who were attempting to be quiet. Kaidan dropped back and hid, waiting. His patience was rewarded about a minute later by a group of seven batarian Rocket Troopers. Considering their armament, a frontal assault by him, alone as he was, it would be suicidal. Instead Kaidan activated his biotic barrier and then loaded incendiary ammo into his pistol. He shot three of the troopers in rapid succession then lifted all of them into the air. After slamming another of the batarians into large tree, Kaidan ducked behind one the tree's roots. He began to move swiftly and silently around to the other side of the batarian squad. Kaidan popped up from cover to snap off a rapid burst, taking out one of his enemies before moving again. He repeated the move and again another of his enemies fell.

The final batarian evidently had some sense of self preservation and began to pull back. Unfortunately for the batarian, Kaidan could not let him live. Kaidan began moving to flank him when the batarian made the same mistake Jacob had; he slipped and face-planted in the green slime. The batarian recovered before Kaidan could shoot him though and ducked back behind the tree root that he'd slipped on. The batarian survivor seemed content to stay down so Kaidan began to cautiously move towards his hiding place. The batarian must have heard Kaidan coming because he popped up from his hiding place to fire a rocket at the human. The shot went wide and Kaidan shot him in the throat before he could duck back down. After double checking all the batarians to make sure they were dead, Kaidan left the area to catch up with the turians just as the first of the group entered the cave.

Captain Kurion was impressed with their improvised additions to the cave entrance and began deploying his soldiers around it. Thane and Jacob found Kaidan talking with Captain Kurion about the batarian forces. Kaidan was inclined to take only his team from the _Normandy_ to get the needed supplies, but he acceded to the Captain's suggestion that taking a turian half-squad would make the raid easier and more likely to succeed.

Everything went according to plan during their lightning raid on the batarian depot; for a change, which was nice. The three turian soldiers that accompanied them had no problem working with a human, which was probably why Captain Kurion had chosen them in particular. After stationing Thane and the turian sharpshooter, Nihril, in the jungle with their sniper rifles at the ready, Kaidan took the two remaining turians and Jacob into the temporary supply shelters. After taking out the guards, they loaded up with supplies and left the batarian camp without incident. Nihril was inclined to complain about the lack of action before one of his fellow turians silenced him with a snarl of, "Haven't we had enough problems today, idiot?"

When they returned to the cave the single overworked and harried turian surgeon actually squeaked with delight. Doctor Kalia was running out of everything, not surprising considering how many injuries there were. Of the three hundred forty-seven surviving Turians, only two were completely uninjured. Once the supplies were delivered, Kaidan and his squad sat down with Captain Kurion to eat something and take a rest.

In the grey twilight just after sunset, Kaidan lay on his stomach in a tree near the first Jamming Tower. The tower wasn't very well guarded, only three troopers and one engineer. Slipping out of the tree, he waved Thane and Jacob over. After a brief conversation the three set off. The plan was to take the tower fast; they wanted to keep their presence on Melba from the batarian brass for as long as possible.

The firefight for control of the first tower was brief and one-sided. Kaidan and his squad took the four batarians unaware and unprepared. All four of them fell in the initial assault; none of them had even been able to try getting a message to their main force. Kaidan smiled grimly as he began to hack the tower's terminal. It was a barely moment's work for him to break the encrypted code stream. The first thing he learned was that they needed to disable all six towers to take down the jamming field. While this was unsurprising, it was still irritating. With a sudden inspiration Kaidan began furiously cross-wiring the jamming tower to try and contact the _Normandy_.

While it took Kaidan about two minutes to jury-rig an encrypted communications device that used the jamming field generated by the other five towers as a signal booster; which would also incidentally mask the signals' origin as well.

OoOoO

Five hours; five hours was a long time. Shepard was beyond impatient, the fact that _Kaidan_ of all people hadn't been able to find a way to get past the jamming field was distressing; never mind that Tali and Legion weren't any more successful. Kaidan was the Alliance's top sentinel and an N7 now; he should have been able to find a way to break through. As unjust though she knew those sentiments were, she also knew that Kaidan would not break his word to her. Kaidan would not fail, he didn't know how.

"Commander Alenko to the _Normandy_."

_Author's Note: I quoted Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan series again in this chapter. _

…_no one saw my reference to Harry Potter urm, maybe I was too subtle…_

_Anyways ::clears throat:: quote: "__They all had the red hair you see, my brothers' too." reference: Shepard family = The Weasleys (which is hands down the coolest wizarding family there is.)_

_Thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl!_

_Jason Krueger Miles: I had to deconstruct Garrus's actions three times to get his character correct, once each as Kaidan, Shepard and above all else as the narrator so the other two would make sense (probably should have mentioned that last one first...). Kaidan mentioned in the first game that his parents had a house in Vancouver that matured to new beach front property. I hope I solved the problem well given Kaidan & Company's logistical and strategic disadvantage._

_Kassandra Black: I had fun with that too, though for the life of me I can't remember if I came up with that myself or if I had some help…_

_AletaLune: Don't feel bad it was subtle and no one else got it either. Perhaps it was stealthed too much. _

_JovianJeff: Thank you I had some help with the scene. It was difficult to get just right, I'm glad I succeeded in my aim!_

_Noelle1230: I'm glad your back and I hope you had a good vacation!_


	7. Chapter 7 Aftermaths

Shepard froze before responding, "This is the _Normandy_, Shepard here; give me a SitRep Commander."

"There are three hundred and forty-seven turian survivors, nearly all of them are injured, led by Captain Kurion of the _Galahea_; most of the survivors are from that ship; there's a mixed bunch from the other two frigates who managed to get to the escape pods. The turians were holding out on hilltop, surrounded by three full companies of batarians of mixed classes. When we arrived we helped them move to a better strategic position. I led a lightning raid on the batarian base camp for more medical supplies. We're in the process of taking out the jamming field now; No ETA on the jamming field coming down."

"Well done, Commander Alenko. Keep doing what you're doing. By the time you get that field down we'll have a plan in place to extract the survivors."

"Yes, ma'am; Alenko out."

"_Normandy_ out."

Shepard let out a long, slow breath before looking down at Joker and saying, "I want a simultaneous transmission with the Turian Hierarchy and C-Sec."

OoOoO

Kaidan, Jacob and Thane were taking stock of the defenses around the sixth and final jamming tower while crouching among the tree roots and green slime. The batarians had finally figured out what was going on; a benefit of Kaidan's teams' speed in taking down the other five towers. Only at tower five had they run into much resistance. Apparently, the batarians hadn't fully adapted the rest of their technology to the Jamming Field, their own communications couldn't punch through it either.

Kaidan counted twenty four batarian troopers of various classes; two full squadrons. Kaidan was considering following Shepard's example and simply blowing up the tower, when it occurred to him, all he needed to do was render the tower incapable of actually _transmitting_ a signal. A positively vicious grin spread across Kaidan face as he considered the possibility carefully. Turning to Thane, he said, "Let me see your sniper rifle," the drell looked surprised but handed it over.

Kaidan's grin didn't diminish as he began working. Recalibrating the laser sight to shine further into the ultraviolet range then was usual was the work of barely a few moments; that done he handed the sniper rifle back to Thane. He then began pulling several objects from the hidden pockets in his armor. He rigged together an EMP emitter to fry the jamming tower's electronics. Several minutes work produced blocky, ungainly looking device that would never the less be effective. With a vicious looking predatory grin on his face he explained his plan.

Kaidan and Jacob moved around to the opposite side of the tower from where they'd left Thane. Kaidan threw a grenade into the crowd of Batarians around the tower when it exploded a small countdown clock began on his visor starting at two minutes. Just as the countdown started Kaidan and Jacob charged the batarians firing and throwing dark energy around. When the countdown hit thirty seconds Kaidan signaled Jacob and they melted back into the jungle, leaving nearly half of the batarian force on the ground.

Three. Two. One. The tower sparked and that was it, mission accomplished. A few moments later Thane appeared next to Kaidan and Jacob. This was the first time Kaidan had ever seen any emotion besides regret or pain on Thane's face; the man looked like the cat that got the cream. Kaidan and Jacob grinned back. There was a round of pistol fire from where they'd left the surviving batarians. Celebration over, it was time for them to get back to the turians.

OoOoO

An hour and half later, Kaidan was standing in the briefing room behind the _Normandy_'s CIC. Captain Kurion, the leader of the Hierarchy's relief force, Admiral Kryllin, and Shepard were standing across the table from Kaidan, Thane and Jacob.

Shepard looked like she was enjoying their mission debriefing. When Kaidan was done Shepard looked like she didn't know whether to laugh or throw him in the brig. Leaning on the table, Shepard observed, "There's only two questions left and I don't think any of us here can answer them; why did the batarians attack a military patrol in the first place? And, why spend the resources to keep fighting the survivors of the space battle for so long?"

Admiral Kryllin nodded, looking pensive, "You are correct Captain Shepard, this is unlike them." the Admiral paused to nod at Shepard, "the batarians usually attack colonies with the goal of taking slaves. I will make inquires," after a brief pause he said, "I will, of course, share any useful information with Captain Shepard."

Shepard eyebrows went up in surprise, and she nodded, "I will do the same Admiral Kryllin and we can compare our findings."

Captain Kurion, who's attitude had shifted from grudging respect to outright awe when he'd found out the particulars of how they taken out the sixth tower, had said nothing since he finished his own verbal report commented, "there's one other question that hasn't been answered sir, ma'am,"

"Go ahead Captain," Admiral Kryllin said.

Captain Kurion nodded and went on, "Commander Alenko reported that he followed the distress beacon I set up to our camp; how was it even showing up on his combat sensor when were in the middle of the batarian's jamming field?"

Kaidan blinked, that hadn't even occurred to him; from the look on her face it hadn't occurred to Shepard either. There a meditative silence for several minutes before Admiral Kryllin said to Shepard, "It looks like we have three unanswered question from this incident."

Shepard nodded still looking pensive. After a moment her face cleared, "If no one has anything else to add," she looked around at those present; Jacob, Thane, Kaidan, Captain Kurion and Admiral Kryllin, when none of them said anything, she went on, "then Taylor, Krios you're dismissed." after Jacob and Thane left, "after you Admiral Kryllin, Captain Kurion."

The four of them walked to the _Normandy_'s airlock. When they reached the 'lock they stopped and the Admiral shook hands with Shepard. The Admiral then turned to Kaidan and shook his hand as well saying briefly, "I would like to confer to you the thanks of my government as well as my personal thanks for what you did for my daughter's men," some measure of Kaidan's surprise must have leaked into his expression because the turian said, "my daughter was General Kryllin, leader of Captain Kurion's patrol group."

"You have our personal condolences for your loss Admiral Kryllin," Shepard said solemnly the Admiral nodded briefly before turning and striding through the airlock to his flagship. Once the turians were gone Kaidan walked to the elevator at the back of the CIC. Shepard stopped to briefly confer with Joker before following Kaidan.

The door to the Loft had already shut behind them when Kaidan turned to say something to Shepard and was promptly jumped by her. It wasn't really a martial arts throw, Shepard more or less hockey checked him to the floor. She was straddling his chest and leaning over him with a thunderous look on her face, "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Kaidan rubbed the back of his head and then grabbed Shepard and hugged her to his chest, "I'm sorry I scared you, un sucrè. But you know I can't promise that," Kaidan was still wearing the armor he'd been in for hours, hadn't eaten anything since two hours before going downside and hadn't slept for even longer and yet he had no desire to move from that spot.

Shepard hiccupped and he looked down at her, she was crying. Kaidan froze, "Don't cry!" Kaidan had no idea what to do or say when normal woman cried, but this was Shepard, she _never_ got emotional. She choked on a sob and shook her head. Kaidan sat up and cradled her to his chest, "Cherì, don't cry please."

But she didn't stop for what seemed like a long time to Kaidan but eventually, she quieted, "I'm sorry, Kaidan. I just…" she paused, thinking, "it's release of tension I think."

Kaidan nodded, and kissed her lips briefly, "I am sorry I worried you, but there really wasn't anything I could do about it."

"Oh I know that Kaidan, and I'm not angry; not really. I was just scared I would…"

"Loose me too?" Shepard looked startled, "you cried out in your sleep earlier."

She looked away, "The same old bad dreams, sometimes I'm back home on Mindoir, other times it's Elysium; when it's really bad it's both only twisted together by my subconscious," Kaidan couldn't think of anything to say so he just held her until she pulled away and stood up.

OoOoO

Kaidan stood in his Alliance dress uniform looking out the viewports in the cockpit. He'd been at Arcturus a little over a week ago and yet it seemed like forever. So much had happened, so much had changed. Kaidan kept telling himself that life was infinitely better than it had appeared the last time he was on Arcturus; then he had been facing the frightening prospect of apologizing to the single most terrifying and deadly person in the Milky Way Galaxy. Now he was facing the prospect of an award ceremony complete with the media, the public, and worst of all, _politicians_.

There was one bright spot on the horizon though; Kaidan's parents were going to be on Arcturus for the ceremony. He hadn't seen his parents face to face since the SR-1 was still in the planning stages, nearly four years ago now. There was also an element of trepidation to seeing his parents again. He was going to have to introduce Shepard to them. His parents knew he had a girlfriend, but he'd _conveniently_ omitted the name 'Shepard' from his messages to them. Then he was going to have to explain to his father how he'd come to be sleeping with his CO. Kaidan's father was an ex-marine and the prospect of explaining his relationship with Shepard was unpleasant.

"Nervous, Commander?" Shepard asked. She also wore her Alliance dress blues, as his direct superior her presence was required when the Anderson Crescent was actually pinned on his uniform.

Kaidan turned to face her and grinned, "Not at all, ma'am."

"Liar; but that's okay. I've been where you are. Believe me I was nervous before all of my awards ceremonies, especially the ones after Elysium and Terra Nova. Those were real 'dog and pony shows'; Just like this one promises to be. Incidentally, I got a message from Admiral Kryllin. He's put you up for the turian 'Spirit of Palaven'; it's their highest honor. He thinks you're likely to get it so you might want to think of this ceremony as a practice run."

Kaidan didn't know what to say to that so he remained silent, Shepard laughed at him and he focused on her again, "You look sick as a sheep! Don't worry, I promise you will survive the pomp and circumstance."

He gave her a sickly grin, "The prospect of all the media and politicians makes me want to duck and cover. I think I'd rather charge another batarian stronghold; alone."

Joker snorted but didn't say anything and Shepard laughed and clapped him on the back, "This will be easier I promise. You just have to remember Shepard's Rules for Ribbons."

Kaidan's mind lurched, "What?"

"Rule one, don't smile during the ceremony; you must to look grim and soldierly at all times. Rule two, avoid making a speech if at all possible. Rule three, when you are forced to make a speech keep it simple, just thank the brass for the honor, thank your squad, bow, and then shut the hell up. And finally, rule four, don't say anything beyond the bare necessities to _anyone_, especially the press."

Kaidan laughed, "I'll keep those in mind, ma'am."

Joker, who had been concentrating on docking the _Normandy_, commented, "At least we get to go to the ceremony this time. When you got your award for the Terra Nova mission none of us got to go. Only Kaidan and Liara got to go and they only did because they were with you on X57 and both got Anderson Crescents when you got your Star of Terra." Shepard rolled her eyes, Kaidan just shook his head and sighed.

Once the _Normandy_ had docked, Kaidan followed Shepard out the airlock to greet Admiral Steven Hackett. After exchanging salutes with his officers, Admiral Hackett shook Kaidan hand and said, "Not many people could do what you accomplished on Melba, well done Commander Alenko."

"Thank you, sir."

Admiral Hackett eyed his face for a moment, "Just relax, son. It'll be over with soon enough."

_Author's Notes: I used an idea from the X-wing series in this chapter. I also used a quote from the Vorkosigan series. _

_C-Sec, in addition to being responsible for policing the station itself, also protects all of citadel space from pirates and so on. (ref. _.com/wiki/C-Sec_) _

_I've had to make up a lot of turian names so far and my 'Spirit of Palaven' is no exception. The turian homeworld is called Palaven and the main religion of the turian centers around spirits. The description of the religion is actually kind of interesting: __.com/wiki/Turian#Religion_

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta reader Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: …I hadn't thought of that, but no Ron was upside down and Garrus wasn't ::grin::. I hope you enjoyed Kaidan & Company's romp through the jungle with their turian pals, I know I had fun writing it!_

_Jemina: I'm glad you enjoyed it!_

_JovianJeff: Those little moments were random, and with the exception of Shepard's meditations on fraternization, they weren't planed. It's that ad lib bits that always seem to work the best for some reason. I know plenty of other folks who haven't read Harry Potter. Most of them are the non biased people who just don't like that kind of book for whatever reason usually it's that they don't like fantasy or books about magic._


	8. Chapter 8 Meetings

An hour later Kaidan stood looking 'all grim and soldierly' on a temporary stage erected in the main promenade of Arcturus station. The Prime Minister of Canada's personal representative Richard Sutherland, who acted so much like Donnel Udina that Kaidan thought that the two men must be related, was making a long winded speech that when boiled down to its essential could have been summed up in one sentence; Canada is very pleased to claim Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko as a native son because humanity thinks he's a Big Damn Hero.

Kaidan had stopped listening after about the third sentence. Instead he was searching the crowd for his parents; Hackett had told him that they were in the front row of seats. The problem was the front row was pretty damned long. After another few moments of searching, during which Sutherland still talked, Kaidan spotted his parents. They looked nearly the same as he remembered; his father was still tall and grave though with less black in his hair and his mother, small with red-roan hair and kind brown eyes the same color as his own.

The part of his mind that paid attention during mission debriefings alerted him that Sutherland's speech was over. Kaidan re- focused on the ceremony as Admiral Hackett stepped towards him. Hackett was flanked by Shepard and both of them were looking 'all grim and soldierly'. Hackett stopped in front of him and held out his hand to Shepard and she placed a small black velvet box in his hand.

Hackett, his voice magnified by the loud speaker, said, "I, Admiral Steven Hackett, on behalf of the Systems Alliance confer upon you, Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko, the Anderson Crescent for valor, bravery and quick thinking under fire." He then opened the box and removed a crescent brass medal with a light blue ribbon. After pinning the award on Kaidan's uniform, Hackett and Shepard saluted him. Admiral Hackett then shook his hand saying briefly, "Congratulations, Commander," and Shepard followed, shaking his hand and also congratulated him. That was it, the ceremony was over, and no one had made him give a speech.

Once they were out of the public eye and Admiral Hackett and Sutherland had left them alone, Kaidan asked Shepard, "Will you come to dinner with my family?"

Shepard paused briefly, thinking before nodding, "Do we have time to change first?"

Kaidan nodded, "If we're quick. We're supposed to meet them at the Bright Nova in a half an hour. I think they wanted me to come in my uniform, but that's not going to happen."

Shepard snorted in amusement, "Only people who don't have to wear this damned thing actually like it." Kaidan nodded in agreement as they walked briskly to the _Normandy_'s airlock.

They fairly sprinted through the CIC to the elevator and rode up to the Loft, where both of them skinned out of their dress blues in record time and pulled on comfortable civilian clothes. Without a pause, Kaidan and Shepard both dove back into the elevator. Impatiently, Kaidan pushed the button for the CIC. Jogging up the CIC to the airlock, Shepard opened the door and the two of them piled in. Kaidan activated his omni-tool to check to the time. Five minutes left, they might actually make it on time.

It was a good thing both of them were in such good shape because they ended up sprinting through Arcturus station. They made it to the Bright Nova with about thirty seconds to spare. After a brief pause to catch their breath, Kaidan led Shepard up to where his parents were standing by the front entrance.

"Father, mom this is Lucille Shepard. Shepard these are my parents; Alexander and Erica Alenko," Shepard shook his parents' hands and smiled winningly at them.

Kaidan's father opened the door for his wife and Shepard. Once Shepard had stepped inside the restaurant his father gave Kaidan a questioning look.

"Sir?" Kaidan asked, slightly confused.

"Is this the woman you mentioned in your messages home?" When Kaidan nodded his father's face hardened and he shook his head, "You play a dangerous game, boy."

Kaidan shrugged his shoulders, and answered, "She's worth it; besides, it's not as dangerous you think, sir," and turning, he walked into the restaurant followed closely by his father. His father likely would have asked Kaidan meant by that but before his father had the chance, they were motioned forward by the hostess.

Kaidan had an uncomfortable déjà vu when he saw exactly where the hostess was leading them. A comfortable looking booth in the back of the restaurant that was so much like the one he and Shepard had shared at the Rock Bottom Brewery that Kaidan had to resist a strong urge to check his pistol. After scanning the restaurant Kaidan glanced at Shepard's face; she was clearly thinking about the last time they'd eaten out as well. Kaidan took her hand and brushed his lips across her knuckles. She smiled at him and whispered, "I'm alright, Kaidan."

He nodded and motioned for her to sit first, which she did, before seating himself. Kaidan's mother ended up sitting across from Shepard while his father sat across from him. His mother was looking Shepard over appraisingly. Shepard, for her part, was just as curious about Kaidan's parents as they were about her.

His mom asked, "How long have the two of you been together?"

Shepard smiled beatifically and his mom and said, "Since I came back to the Alliance."

Kaidan's father, always the more blunt of his parents, cleared his throat, "And, Miss Shepard what happens when the two of you are court martialed for fraternization?"

Shepard, smiling, turned to Kaidan and motioned towards his parents. Taking the hint Kaidan said, "Sir, I wouldn't play fast and loose with my career, or hers. Admiral Hackett, our direct superior and commander of the fifth fleet here on Arcturus, told me that so long as our personal relationship doesn't interfere with our duties we will not be penalized."

Kaidan's father opened his mouth then paused glancing at Shepard before saying, "I see." He then turned to his son, "my apologies, Kaidan."

Kaidan nodded in acknowledgment, "That's alright, sir."

Shepard, who had been watching Kaidan and his father during this exchange, said calmly "And you judged that _I_ would allow Kaidan to risk his career for me?" Kaidan turned to look at Shepard sharply; her hand found his under the table and squeezed slightly.

Kaidan's father was utterly taken aback. His father appraised Shepard's face for several moments before saying, "You have my apologies as well, Captain Shepard."

Shepard gave Kaidan's father her most charismatic smile, "That's alright, Captain Alenko. You misjudged me; you're not the first and I'm certain you won't be the last."

Kaidan's father turned to him and actually grinned, "I like her."

Kaidan was taken aback for a moment; when he finally recovered he smiled at his father, "I think that's the first time you've ever said that to me, sir." The waiter came a few moments later to take their order and delivered their drinks before going off again.

After their food came his mother started to say, "So Miss Shepard-"

"You can call me Lucille, Mrs. Alenko."

"Alright dear, and of course you can me Erica, and my husband Alex," after Shepard smiled and nodded, his mother went on, "do you have any family, Lucille?"

Shepard smile faded and she shook her head, "No; my family was killed on Mindoir when the batarians sacked it. My grandparents raised me after that but they died about a decade ago, now."

Both of Kaidan's parents had a sympathetic looks on their faces; his mother said, "I'm so sorry, dear."

Shepard just shook her head again, "I… well the pain is still there and I miss them all very much but time moves on and so must I," Kaidan squeezed her hand under the table. Shepard began eating with her other hand, without letting go of his right hand and Kaidan perforce, ate with his left hand; good thing he was ambidextrous.

OoOoO

Shepard and Kaidan had just left Kaidan's parent with a cordial good night when Kaidan turned to her and asked, "How did you know my father was a Captain? I didn't tell you."

Shepard smiled, "Curiosity."

Kaidan sighed, "I should have known. You could have just asked you know."

Shepard shook her head, "At the time, we didn't know each nearly as well as we do now. I looked up your father's service record when you mentioned that he'd retired before the First Contact War."

Kaidan smiled slightly, "Curious little kitten; perhaps I should call you that, it certainly fits you."

Shepard turned to him in indignation, "Don't you dare."

Kaidan's grin widened, "What's wrong, kitten?"

She growled her eyes narrowing, "I do not like that name; it's almost as bad as 'pet'!"

Kaidan, still smiling, scrutinized her face for a moment, "Hmmm… " Shepard was still watching him warily. Much to her annoyance, Kaidan's smile never faltered, most people couldn't take the 'Look of Doom' for this long. Kaidan eventually went on, "kittens simply aren't deadly enough to describe you, mon cherì."

Shepard wasn't sure what to say to that at first, she cocked her head appraising him, "And what is deadly enough to describe me?"

Kaidan smile still firmly in place said briefly, "A wildcat."

Shepard, startled, laughed, "Now I actually like that one."

Grinning, Kaidan took her hand, "Now, wildcat, we have some time, what do you want to do?"

"Shopping!" Kaidan groaned; Shepard, undaunted as always, dragged him off.

"Tanmaru's Fine Arms and Armor?" Kaidan read aloud twenty minutes later, "I have to admit when you said you wanted to go shopping, I imagined you were going to drag me off to some clothing store."

"Well if you would prefer that; I do need a new dress and some shoes…"Kaidan looked highly unamused. Shepard giggled but went on more seriously, "I need a better hold-out pistol. And I know you wanted to get a new amp, and come to think of it I could use a better one too." after a moment's thought she added, "if you come with me to get a new dress we can go to Samsung Electronics afterwards and you can drool over their stuff for awhile."

"I do not drool over electronics." Kaidan said with some dignity.

"Of course you do, you're just like me; you're a nerd." Kaidan didn't say anything and Shepard smiled sweetly, "we're Alliance sentinels, Kaidan, of course we're nerds."

Kaidan looked at her for moment longer before pulling her to his side, and walking into the store. Shepard smiled like a kid in a candy store, her beautiful green eyes going wide with wonder and delight. She walked slowly around the store once, taking everything in before heading the large display of concealable weapons. There were several glass cases full of flat knives and pistols specifically designed to be invisible when worn strapped to the body under clothes. Kaidan stood with Shepard admiring both the weaponry and the expression of predatory glee on her face.

"HMWP doesn't make hold-out pistol," Shepard observed, "I'm sad," she added with a mock pout.

"Or maybe this place isn't authorized to carry Spectre gear, wildcat."

"We do carry Spectre weapons, sir. The HM series of weapons however are not kept on the sales floor," an asari saleswoman had come up behind them.

"You have a back room or something of Spectre gear?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Not as such Captain Shepard. If you would like to purchase Spectre grade weapons I can assist you; my name is Fira," the asari said with smile

"I'm looking for a better hold out pistol. I've got a Stiletto VI right now. I don't have a call to use a hold-out often but when I do I want something better than that."

"I understand ma'am. As it happens the HM series does not make hold-out pistols; however Kassa Fabrication and Rosenkov Materials both make hold-out pistols of all their pistols."

Shepard considered, "The Karpov or the Razor right?"

Saleswoman Fira nodded. Pointing out several pistols in the case directly behind her, "These are the Razor line," gesturing to Shepard's right she added, "those are the Karpov's."

Shepard bit her lip considering, "I think…" she looked back and forth between the cases, "I think I want the Karpov X; it's got a higher damage rating than the Razor."

Kaidan held back a laugh; trust Shepard to choose the weapon that did more damage over the more accurate pistol equipped with a more efficient heat sink. Watching her examine the new pistol, Kaidan decided he liked Shepard's Amazon tendencies.

"Do you all sell amps?" Kaidan asked the asari.

Saleswoman Fira smiled, "Of course, sir, if you'll follow me."

The asari led them to the display of amps and Kaidan's eyes were immediately drawn to the Savant X. Shepard was clearly thinking along the same lines as he was and asked, "Do you have more than one of the Savant X?"

"Yes, ma'am." the asari answered smiling.

"Good, I'll take two and the Karpov X," Kaidan said his eyes on Shepard.

She turned to face him, clearly startled, "Kay you don't have to do that."

"No, I don't; but I'm going to anyways," Kaidan said gravely as he paid saleswoman Fira.

Shepard was smiling happily as she strapped the Karpov to the inside of her left wrist under her sleeve. She proceeded to skip from the store like kid. Kaidan raised an eyebrow as he followed her out of the store. Shepard stopped a little ways up the hall from Tanmaru's and looked back, waiting for Kaidan, "Come on," she urged impatient. When he drew even with her, she scrutinized his face for a moment, "what?"

"Nothing, I'm just not used to the way you act off-duty yet."

Her eyes widened in mock horror, "Oh no! You've discovered I'm schizophrenic!"

Kaidan laughed, "I wouldn't call it that; you're just really good at keeping your private life separate from duty. I'm a bit envious of that; I'll have to learn from your example."

She laughed, "Just wait, you'll learn."

"You're not schizophrenic. You've just mastered the art of going off duty; something I have yet to learn."

She stepped closer and smiled up at him, "I think that's the nicest way anyone's ever told me I'm an immature child out of uniform."

_Author's note: Quote from _Firefly/Serenity_ and I really shouldn't have to say more than that considering BioWare used the same quote in _Mass Effect 2_. _

_Shepard's nickname 'Wildcat' was borrowed from Lorelei Jane's Knights of the Old Republic FanFiction _A Match for the Mandalore_._

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl!_

_Noelle1230: Thank you!_

_KassandraBlack: I had fun writing Shepard's Rules For Ribbons, so I'm glad you enjoyed them. I hope their meeting was all you hoped for._

_Jemina: Thanks!_


	9. Chapter 9 Understanding

The next morning Shepard was asleep with her head pillowed on Kaidan's chest, the two of them lay in a king-size hotel bed. He was already awake but he was just watching her sleep. Ordinarily Kaidan would have gotten up to take a shower right after waking but he was strangely content to lie there holding the woman he loved. She'd cried out in her sleep waking him, but she'd quieted when he spoke softly to her.

No question about it, Shepard had some deep psychological scars; with her past Kaidan wasn't surprised. If he had gone through half of what she had, Kaidan doubted he would be as whole in his mind as she was in hers. Sometimes she reminded him of forcibly of Rahna, which was odd because Shepard really wasn't much like Rahna. Aside from beauty and brains they had nothing in common. Rahna was the only child of rich Turkish family and she occasionally acted like it; not spoiled precisely, just entitled. Whereas Shepard was the youngest child and only daughter of two middle-class American expatriates. According to Shepard, her mother and father had mustered out of the Alliance when she was ten and decided to move their family from Arcturus to Mindoir rather than back to Washington D.C. on Earth where they were both born.

Thinking back to the way she acted on their shopping trip, Kaidan began to wonder exactly why she was so child-like and free when she was with him off duty. Still watching her peaceful face, Kaidan thought back to when she had described what happened on Mindoir to him.

She'd described how her father had tried to buy enough time for his family to escape with his old service pistol and been shot for efforts. Then how her mother had tried to convince the batarian slavers to let her children go. She had described her oldest brother Bill and herself watching from the safety of the woods behind the family house. How her brother had held her back to keep her from running down to stop the slavers from ruthlessly shooting her mother and five other brothers; followed shortly by her and Bill getting picked up by some outer perimeter guards as they tried to escape deeper into the woods. Then how the slavers had forced her to watch as they cut her brother's throat, after which they had come towards her with the knife. How she couldn't consciously remember what she'd done, only that one minute she'd known the batarian slavers were going to slit her throat and the next the four of them lay dead around her; their knife in her hand and covered, like the ground around her, with pale green batarian blood. She had apparently still been standing there staring at her blood soaked hands when the marines, led by a man named Lieutenant Ernesto Zabaleta, had finally forced the batarians to retreat and found her alive.

Shepard had also briefly mentioned that she'd become alcoholic after Mindoir. That she'd only cleaned up so she could join the Alliance. Clearly she had turned to drink to escape the memories, understandable, though quite alarming considering she'd been sixteen at the time. Kaidan briefly wondered how much of the next year Shepard had spent sober. Probably not much considering what Shepard had implied about her alcohol tolerance.

Kaidan again thought back to the way she acted out of uniform: giggling, skipping, flirting, and jumping between serious to callow and back again at the drop of a hat. On top of all that she'd called herself an 'immature child' right after diagnosing herself as schizophrenic, and the last piece clicked into place. She'd shut herself down emotionally after watching her family get slaughtered, so in some ways Shepard was still a sixteen year old girl.

That had to be the reason she was so different in uniform, with both of her parents being ex-marines the ideal of service and the idea of the perfect soldier would have been ingrained in her from early childhood. The memories that haunted her still, a decade and half later, would have been a million times stronger at sixteen and seventeen than they were now. So perhaps when Shepard came to the end of herself she found that the only thing she could do was fight and keep on fighting; or else fall into the darkness of her own memories and loose herself entirely this time.

Of course her memories of the batarian's massacre at Mindoir would have spurred her to stop it from happening at Elysium and then at Terra Nova, though that was a vastly different circumstance from Mindoir.

Looking back down at the woman in his arms he noticed she was awake and watching him, "Good morning, soldier boy."

Kaidan smiled softly at her, "'Morning, Wildcat."

"What are you thinking about?"

Kaidan's smile faded, "You," he said simply.

"Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good…"

"Nothing bad, cherì, just getting a few things straight in my head."

"Right, well, good luck with that. Don't blame me if you get one of your nasty migraines from trying to figure me out," Shepard sat up and stretched. She looked around their hotel room, "not that I'm complaining mind you, but if you're going to be that aggressive all the time, you're going to have to take me shopping for more civilian clothes." she slid out of bed and headed towards the bathroom.

Grinning, Kaidan sat up in bed and stretched. He winced, the pain in his ribs, which had diminished considerably, had returned full force, but for some reason his back hurt too. He got out of the bed and walked into the bathroom to inspect his back in the mirror. Kaidan whistled at what he saw. There were several large scratch marks on his back; most of them were actually deep enough to have bled. Shepard, who'd looked up when he whistled, blushed slightly when she figured where exactly the marks on his back came from. Meeting her eyes in the mirror Kaidan commented with a cheerfully playful leer, "Wildcat, indeed." Shepard's blush deepened but she still met his eyes squarely.

She stepped up between him and the mirror and brushed some Medi-gel on the scratches she'd given him, "Where did you conjure that from?" Kaidan asked surprised.

She smiled at him, "I always carry Medi-gel."

"It's a good idea but why?"

She smiled, "When I was a kid, I used to wander _a lot_. And I was a remarkably clumsy little kid, always scraping my knees and palms and so on. My dad just finally gave me his old AT bag, a bunch of Medi-gel packs and a GPS and made me swear to be careful."

Kaidan laughed asking, "Didn't Mindoir have any predators?"

"Well, at the time there weren't thought to be any. My luck being what it is I proved the ecologists and scientist wrong two days after I got my GPS."

Kaidan winced, "That's nice; what happened?"

"Space dog-type things, not varren; small but vicious-"

"Like someone I know," Kaidan commented.

Shepard ignored his interruption, "and like all canines they travel in packs. It was good for me that I had the GPS otherwise I would have been chased into a dead end. But I ran as fast as I could back to our farm and my dad shot three of the things before the rest scattered."

"How long before your parents let you wander again?"

Shepard smiled, "Long enough for me to learn how to shoot a pistol. And I wasn't allowed to go alone unless I was riding my pony."

"You had a horse?"

"Pony, and I still have her. A friend on Earth boards her for me. It's probably silly to keep her but daddy bought her for me when we were getting ready to move to Mindoir."

"What's her name?"

"Mulan, she's a Quarter Pony and she'll be twenty six this year."

"Getting up there for a pony."

She looked up at him, surprised, "You know about horses?"

Kaidan smiled wryly, "Yes, my family is very wealthy. I rode a lot when I was young."

"Oh! We have to go horseback riding, together."

"If we get the chance, I guess it won't be so embarrassing if you haven't ridden in years either."

She gave him the smile she reserved for him alone and hugged him from behind. Kaidan laughed and loosened her grip long enough to turn around and hug her properly.

After taking a shower together, they sat on the bed and ordered room service for themselves from the terminal. Shepard, wearing a tank top and shorts that Kaidan thoroughly approved of so long as she only wore them for him, laid down and dragged out her private terminal. After watching her work for a few minutes, Kaidan nudged her, when Shepard finally looked up at him Kaidan indicated her abdomen, "I never got a chance to ask you before, when did you get the tattoo?"

"After Elysium; it seemed a suitably badass way to solve a problem at the time."

Kaidan looked at her for a moment, "And what does that mean?"

Shepard sighed, "I took a gut shot during the siege only it wasn't a straight shot and it was incendiary ammo. When the doctors were done I had a nasty broad scar that you could see. I had an acquaintance design the tattoo for me because the scar kinda bothered me. Even though I really didn't, and don't, often wear anything that shows my stomach."

Kaidan nodded and she smiled and crawled into his lap bringing her terminal with her, "I like it." Kaidan said with a grin. They were sitting so quietly and comfortably that Kaidan and Shepard both jumped when the door chimed indicating that their breakfast had arrived. Kaidan got up and the bellboy pushed a cart in then left once Kaidan had tipped him.

"Strawberries!" Shepard said and practically dove for them.

Kaidan watched in fascination as the rather large bowl of strawberries disappeared rapidly while he munched on a bowl of cereal and bananas with milk from an actual cow. Kaidan was half way through his bowl of cereal when Shepard had finished all but one of the strawberries. She held the last strawberry between two fingers and turned towards him. Knowing what she intended he shook his head, "No thanks, Wildcat, you go ahead and enjoy it," she smiled and slid up next to him. Kaidan lifted his arm and pulled her to his side. Locking gazes with Kaidan, she held the strawberry to his lips. Without looking away he bit the bright red fruit in half, chewing he swallowed it before taking the final bite and finishing the strawberry. Shepard, after throwing the top into the now empty bowl, sat in his lap and kissed him.

Both of their omni-tools beeped. Kaidan growled, "Talk about timing."

Shepard laughed, "Well you know the military…"

Shepard was evidently a faster reader than Kaidan and was watching him when he looked up from the message, "Congratulations, Kay," Kaidan blanched and didn't say anything, "it won't be so bad, Kaidan."

"Are you kidding, Admiral Hackett said in his note that I'm the first human to win one. Of course it will be that bad."

Shepard gave him a look of amusement, "Just remember Shepard's Rules for Ribbons."

Kaidan laughed, "I guess," then he groaned, "the ceremony for this is going to be simply awful."

Shepard stretched arching her back, her tank top ridding up enough to reveal the stylized line tattoo, "More than likely. I can help you with your speech if you want."

Kaidan, watching her, felt a rapid shift in his priorities, with a rough edge in his voice he said, "Well I don't have to worry about that for a week; and I have you all to myself for the next five days and I intend to make the most of them," he grabbed her and tugging her to his chest he kissed her.

OoOoO

"Shepard doesn't remember who stabbed her, just like I told you."

"It's too soon; you have no idea how strong she is."

"It doesn't matter how strong _you_ think she is. _My_ work is always perfect, and I'm always right."

"I told you it's too soon; you're underestimating her. I've seen what she can do. And if I'm right and the indoctrination isn't complete she'll remember that it was me who stabbed her; she'll see me as a traitor and kill me out of hand."

"The boss is getting impatient."

"Let him stay impatient, Shepard's too important to screw this up now."

"No. I'm the one who makes the decisions here. You will make contact before they leave for Palaven. She and Alenko are alone and on R & R now; they'll go out eventually, move in when they do. No mercenaries this time, it's got to be quiet. And she has to be alone; Alenko's presence will guarantee failure. Find some way, some truly _innocent_ way for Alenko to be drawn away and then approach her."

_Author's Notes: This is the first time I've actually gone against what is said about my Shepard's past, my apologies for this artistic license. Also the description I wrote of Mindoir is pretty gruesome. _

_The first part of this chapter contains psychoanalysis of my Shepard you have my apologies for this as well. _

_A Quarter Pony is a pony of the Quarter Horse breed that's not tall enough to be considered a horse. A pony is a horse less than 58 inches tall at the shoulder, or withers._

_Also I couldn't find any references to what color batarian blood is. If anyone knows please tell me; pretty pretty please…_

_Many thanks to my wonderful Beta Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: He certainly is. And its Shepard of course the good captain approves._

_Jenna53: Thank you!_


	10. Chapter 10 Smokescreen

Shepard laughed, "You want to take me to a what?"

Kaidan flushed slightly but prevailed, "I told you there's a party tonight in the Rio Grande section of the station tonight."

"…isn't the Rio Grande section the arboretum area of Arcturus?"

"Yes, and?"

"So you want to take me to a Garden Party?"

"Well I thought you'd want to get out and do something tonight. And I know you like dancing; why else would you have bought such nice dancing shoes the other night?"

Shepard smiled, "I haven't been dancing since I was stationed on Arcturus while the SR-1 was being built."

"Well I haven't done ballroom dancing since my cousin got married, which would have actually been about the same time, come to think of it. So we're even."

Shepard smiled, "Well alright, then," and jumped up to hug him before she dashed inside to get ready.

Kaidan was ready in about fifteen minutes. To his great astonishment Shepard was ready in forty five minutes. He'd been under the impression that women took hours to get ready to go out. When she stepped out of the bathroom he sucked in breath. Kaidan still wasn't used to seeing Shepard in a dress. It took Kaidan a moment to remember what he'd been thinking about.

While she'd been taking a nap that afternoon Kaidan had gone out looking for a present for her. He'd considered what to get her carefully before going out and had decided upon a necklace; one with a very durable chain so she wouldn't have to take it off or worry about losing it. At least he hoped she would want to wear it.

Shepard cleared her throat, and Kaidan looked up at her face, "Well?" she asked before spinning in place.

Kaidan said the first thing that came to his mind, "…You look like a goddess…" and when he realized what he'd actually said, he blushed and cleared his throat.

Shepard giggled and bounced forward to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him briefly, "So can we go?" she asked a little breathless. Which Kaidan took as a good sign; it meant he had the same effect on her that she had on him.

"Not yet, Wildcat, I have something for you," Kaidan handed her the small white box with the necklace inside.

Shepard took the box and opened it. Her eyes widened; inside the box lay a small platinum pendent with, "A Pegasus? I love it, but why a Pegasus?"

"You love horses and you love mythology," he took the necklace out of the box and held it up; she obligingly turned her back to him and held her hair out of the way. He fastened the thick platinum chain around her neck. That done she turned and hugged him; hugging her back, Kaidan said, "And since you're the greatest hero of our age I thought that you should have your own Pegasus."

Shepard's face turned bright red and she tried to pull away, looking down. Kaidan didn't let her go instead he moved one of his hands from her lower back to lift her chin so she would look at him, "Shepard, you are the greatest hero; not just of humanity but of the galaxy."

"No; the Reapers are still out there, all I've done is delay them. And piss them off."

"You will stop them, Shepard."

"I'm just one person; one half-broken woman."

"You're a lot more than that; you should've realized by now that's why we follow _you_. Look at the crew of the _Normandy_, a lot of them left the Alliance to follow you. And your last squad, do you really think Jack or Grunt would have followed anyone else? And what about Zaeed?"

"I…I never asked for this."

"What sane person would? You know no one else could have stopped Saren and kill Sovereign. Who else could have brought every person on their crew back from something that was rightfully referred to as a suicide mission?"

"I…" she swallowed, "why are you doing this, Kaidan?"

"Because you of all people cannot afford doubt; especially not in yourself."

"…I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I never used to doubt myself."

Kaidan shook his head, "I haven't known you very long, all things considered. Perhaps Councilor Anderson could help you answer that question."

She nodded, "Probably, he's known me longer than anyone else." she pulled away from him and this time he let her escape, "but anyways, can we go now, Kay?"

"Of course," he said, and taking her hand he led her out of the room. They stepped into the elevator to the lobby. After a few moments thought he asked, "are you going to keep calling me 'Kay'?"

She grinned, "Of course. That's my pet name for you."

Kaidan sighed, "Well…I suppose it's alright," he eyed her for a moment, "considering it's you, I guess I got off easy."

"Hey!" she moved to punch his arm but he grabbed it and pulled her against his chest again eliciting a giggle from her. After a moment he released her.

It took them twenty five minute, to get to the Rio Grande Arboretum 23rd Annual Gala; then another twenty minutes of standing in line and then five minutes of arguing with the security guards about keeping their weapons on them. Shepard finally had to pull Spectre rank on them to make the guards let them in with their weapons.

They stepped through the last archway leading to the arboretum and Kaidan heard Shepard catch her breath and smile in satisfaction. He'd heard that the Gala was a spectacle to behold, but he'd never imagined this. There was an old style Earth gazebo-style bandstand with little white lights strung up all around it surrounded by a temporary fake wood dancing floor in the main clearing of the park. To the left of the bandstand was a buffet table with twinkle-lights adorning it. Around the buffet, dozens of small white wrought iron tables were set up, with four chairs around each one and a small lantern in the center of each. Behind the bandstand were several paths leading off into the distance, each one, was marked by yet more tiny twinkle-lights and lanterns hung from small decorative white iron posts.

Kaidan and Shepard were walking arm in arm along one of the garden paths when from the other direction Tali and Joker came strolling around the next bend in the path. Curiously, Joker paled when he saw them, and Tali began toying with her fingers in obvious discomfort. Kaidan grinned; one glance at Shepard, face revealed that she was highly amused as well. After a brief pause to make sure he wouldn't burst out laughing if he opened his mouth, Kaidan asked, "Enjoying the party?"

"Um…" was Tali's response.

"…yes… " Joker for once was devoid of smart comments.

Shepard apparently took pity on their genuine embarrassment, so after taking her arm from Kaidan's she linked her arm through Tali's and asked, "I love twinkle-lights, don't you?"

The awkwardness passed as Tali gave a relieved sounding laugh and said, "Yes, they make everything so cheerful," the two woman walked down the path heading back towards the bandstand. They were talking and laughing.

Kaidan and Joker perforce following behind but not close enough to overhear what was said. When they were nearly back to the buffet, Joker cleared his throat, Kaidan turned to look at him waiting. When Joker didn't say anything, Kaidan said, "I should tease you for this as mercilessly as you teased me about Shepard, but I think I'll restrain myself."

Joker regarded Kaidan for a moment before asking, "Does that mean I have to lay off you about Shepard now? Because where's the fun in that?"

Kaidan snorted in amusement, "Keep in mind I'll give as good as I get, and I've got ammunition now."

Joker smirked at him, "Bring it on!"

Kaidan grinned back at him in response and the two of them joined Tali and Shepard at one of the tables. The two women sat talking about Shepard's new necklace. Shepard was explaining human mythology to Tali, specifically the various myths about the birth of Pegasus. Stretching, Kaidan stood, "I'm going to get something to drink. Do you want anything, Wildcat?" Shepard shook her head and continued her conversation.

Kaidan shrugged and went to go get a drink returning shortly with some sort of beer. Kaidan was drawn into Shepard and Tali's discussion about mythology. Tali was describing several old quarian creation myths. Even Joker was drawn into their talk when the discussion eventually turned to the beginning of the Olympics and how the tradition still existed in modern human culture.

Kaidan began to say less and less as his face grew paler and paler. Shepard eyed him a moment before leaning over to whisper, "Kaidan are you alright? You look sick."

"Migraine," he grunted.

"Perhaps we should go…"

"No, stay and have fun, Wildcat. I'll be alright."

Shepard looked worried as she asked, "Are you sure?" Kaidan nodded, blanched then groaned and shut his eyes, "Kay, you should go lie down; message me if you need anything."

Kaidan, whiter than a sheet now, stood and walked away. Tali and Joker looked up watching Kaidan go. Joker seemed to figure it out what was wrong because he asked, "Migraine?"

Shepard nodded, she looked slightly forlorn for a moment before shaking her head slightly she turned back to Tali and Joker saying, "I think I want to take a walk through the garden," and stood up.

"Do you want company, Shepard?" Tali asked, half-rising from her chair before Shepard answered.

"No, I'll be back in a bit," she strode off down one of the lit paths.

Shepard's mind was a very confusing place, even for her. There was an ever more compelling part of her that was leaning towards the sort of devil may care ruthlessness that she'd been forced to use on a couple of occasions during The Suicide Mission. She'd been a hair's breadth away from ordering the _Normandy_ to follow the fleeing batarian ships and slaughter them all. That was not how she did things; that was not how she _wanted_ to do things. Perhaps her time with Cerberus had affected her more than she thought; part of Shepard was beginning to think that maybe sometimes the ends did justify the means. That was _definitely_ not the sort of soldiering her mentor had taught her. David Anderson had showed her that sometimes a soldier needed to be ruthless, but it should not be their primary mode of operation.

"Shepard?"

Shepard spun, palming one of her knives, to face who had spoken and froze in surprise, "Miranda?"

"Hello, Shepard," Miranda stepped forward her hands held up to show they empty.

Shepard sheathed her knife and stood where she was, "What are you doing on Arcturus?"

"I came to talk to you."

"The answer is no."

"I haven't asked you anything."

Shepard snorted in amusement, "Yet," Shepard looked Miranda over for a moment, "but somehow I get the feeling you didn't travel all this way for a friendly chat."

"You're angry at me for staying with Cerberus."

"Actually, no I'm not. You told me at the very beginning that you believed in what Cerberus stood for. And putting aside everything else, Cerberus still holds your sister and therefore you." Shepard looked her over again, "Miranda, what do you want?"

"Shepard, I came to talk to you," at Shepard's darkening complexion, Miranda added, "how do you like working with the Alliance again?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed, "Miranda, one thing you may have noticed about me on the Mission; I don't like mind games."

"No games, Shepard. The Illusive Man-"

"Had me stabbed; with a dagger; with Hemlock on it."

"He was angry-"

"He had me stabbed. Miranda this conversation is going nowhere. "

"He wouldn't have done that he you hadn't made him so angry."

"And you want me to voluntarily return to this man's service?"

Miranda looked troubled. She reached for Shepard, and just as Miranda's hand brushed Shepard's sleeve

_The smash and tinkling of breaking glass reverberated through the restaurant as four armed mercenaries charged their way through the windows that had served as the front wall of the restaurant. Shepard leapt to her feet and called on her dark energy at the same moment that Kaidan did. It had been so long since they fought side by side, that Shepard had forgotten how in sync they were in battle. There was a flash of movement to Shepard's right as someone stepped through the doorway from the kitchens. Shepard spun to face the new comer, about to release a full biotic kick, but stopped in surprise; it was Miranda. Shepard had barely a moment to wonder what exactly Miranda was doing there when Miranda placed her hand on Shepard's arm and slid a blade between her ribs._

Shepard gasped, stumbling back a step her eyes widening and her left hand going to the scar between the last two ribs on the right side of her body. Shepard recovered instantly, and snarled, "Traitorous bitch!" before bioticly throwing Miranda against one of the trees to the side of the path.

_Author's Notes: First off sorry for the late update this week! Real Life intervened._

_There's a STAR TREK reference in this chapter did you catch it?_

_Kaidan's gift to Shepard was inspired by Lorelei Jane's Knight of the Old Republic FanFiction _A Match for the Mandalore_._

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta reader Wyl!_

_AletaLune: I love the fluffy moments too. Did you guess right?_

_Jenna53: On a wild ride!_

_thesolarrock: Thanks!_


	11. Chapter 11 Flashback

Shepard ran forward with her knife in hand. Miranda stood but made no move to defend herself. Shepard slammed her into the tree again roughly pressing her left forearm against Miranda's throat. About to thrust with her dagger, Shepard made the mistake of meeting Miranda's gaze and stopped. They stood looking at each other for a frozen eternity that last for two breaths before Shepard spun away, dropping her dagger.

Shepard felt a screaming need for Miranda's blood. Shepard swallowed hard, and closing her eyes she swore under her breath. She waited until she was sure she her temper under control before she asked, in a determinedly even tone, "Why?"

"I did it for your own good; for the good of humanity."

Shepard felt the anger that had coursed through her veins so alarmingly before flare again; it took even more willpower to stop from killing Miranda this time. Shepard gritted her teeth taking a deep breath that hissed through her teeth, "Leave Miranda, now, don't let me see you again."

"Shepard…"

"Go!" Shepard snarled.

When Miranda was gone, Shepard sunk to her knees in the dirt in front of the large tree she'd slammed Miranda into. Shepard buried her face in her shaking hands. She had no idea what was wrong with her. She was not an animal without control over her battle instincts. She needed to speak to someone. But she was at a loss, who knew her mind and normal reactions well enough and yet wouldn't report it to the Alliance or to anyone else?

Kaidan knew her mind well enough but if it this was more than a short circuit in her thinking he probably wouldn't be able to help her fix it, he was only a combat paramedic. She was certainly going talk to him about this, leaving aside their personal relationship, Kaidan was her second in command and he needed to know if something was wrong with her. Anderson was a possibility, but Shepard wasn't sure he would be able to do any more for her than Kaidan, probably less. Chakwas was a good doctor but she would likely feel she had to make some kind of note in Shepard medical file. Though considering what she'd almost done to Miranda maybe that wasn't a bad idea. Mordin, well she wasn't sure she wanted him hacking around inside her head. He was an excellent doctor, but turning to him for this particular problem would be a bit like asking the blind to lead the blind. There was one other possibility and she really didn't like the idea one bit.

Shepard could go to Liara. Liara had been in Shepard's mind three times before when they were chasing after Saren. Liara might know how to fix whatever was wrong with Shepard's thinking. And if she couldn't Liara would likely have the contacts to find someone who could and would do it without spreading the news around that Spectre and Captain Shepard was going insane.

OoOoO

After Miranda's attack Shepard went back to the hotel. She'd rather lost the spirit to celebrate. When Shepard closed the hotel room door behind her she saw that Kaidan was on the floor doing push-ups and stopped dead in her tracks, "What the hell, Kaidan?"

"Funny thing, I got back here about an hour ago, and laid down in bed with the lights off when all the sudden about ten minutes ago my migraine vanished."

"…son of a bitch!" Shepard spun and punched the wall, "the stupid bitch dosed you!"

Kaidan stopped and getting to his feet he stood watching her, "Shepard?" he looked worried, "who are you talking about?"

The two of them sat on the edge of the bed and Shepard told him what had happened with Miranda. She also told him about her worries about herself and her reactions. She ended by saying, "I think I need visit Illium again. Have a talk with Liara and I'll probably have to meld with her again," Shepard shivered and crawled into Kaidan's lap where she buried her face in his shoulder, "I trust Liara with my life, but I do _not_ like people crawling around inside my head."

"I have noticed that you are a bit… off… and why do you say 'I' not 'we'? I'm coming with you."

Shepard sat up and looked at him, "Oh no you are not! You have to go to Palaven, it's important that you be there on time, and whatever is wrong with me may not be a small thing; that means _not_ easy and definitely not quick. The crew is going to be coming back in three days and then you are going to take the _Normandy_ to Palaven. Then you are going go to your award ceremony. Then you can bring the _Normandy_ to Illium and meet me there."

Kaidan opened his mouth to say something, probably to argue with her. Shepard interrupted him before he could say anything, "Don't make me order you, and in any case you know I'm right; the Alliance needs you on Palaven."

Kaidan shut his mouth his eyes narrowing and he growled low in his throat in annoyance. She smiled back at him innocently and he sighed, "There's no need to pull rank on me, Wildcat, I know you're right. I just wish I could be there for you; with you."

"You can be, after you get your medal."

Kaidan sighed and nodded, "when do you have to leave?"

"I'll get a shuttle to Illium tomorrow," Shepard mumbled burying her face in his chest again.

"Well then is there something you want to do tonight before you have to leave tomorrow?" Kaidan felt her shrug. He began to massage her shoulders trying to ease the tension from them, "so who did you want to take to Illium with you?"

"Huh?"

"You didn't really think I was going to let you go alone did you?"

"Right, I guess not. I know I want Tali with me," she sat back and eyed Kaidan speculatively, "and perhaps I ought to take Garrus with me as well."

Kaidan snorted in amusement, "You can't keep us separated forever you know."

"It's not that," Kaidan gave her an incredulous look, "okay, it's not _only_ that, I don't think Garrus should be anywhere near Palaven right now."

"You know eventually, he is going to have to deal with this himself."

She nodded, "I know that; I do, but I want him to be as ready as possible when he does have to face himself."

OoOoO

The next afternoon Kaidan and Shepard were standing at the commercial shuttle port waiting for Tali and Garrus when Kaidan turned to her, "The crew of the _GS Pulsar_ are Alliance Corsairs. Captain Lynch and his people have been temporarily assigned to you."

Shepard turned wide green to Kaidan, "How did you manage that? I didn't tell the Alliance what was wrong, just that I had urgent personal business on Illium."

The smirk Kaidan gave her was not in the least friendly, "All I did was remind them of your reputation."

"What reputation?"

"That you like to make things explode when you're bored."

Shepard groaned, "I set off one warhead, which wasn't even my idea to begin with, and now I blow things up for kicks."

Kaidan laughed, "Well, there are worse things to be remembered for."

"Like being insane and having visions?"

Kaidan was trying not to laugh but Shepard poked him in the ribs where he was ticklish and he chuckled, "Yeah, there's that."

Tali and Joker walked up to them a few moments later and Tali asked, "Are you alright, Shepard? You left rather abruptly last night."

"I'm…" Shepard hesitated, "I'll be alright. Thanks for coming Tali; I really need my friends with me on this one."

Tali stepped forward and gave Shepard a hug. When the two separated Tali's body language telegraphed some discomfort. Joker took in Tali's discomfort for a moment before taking her hand. Tali turned to look at him and he said, "Just relax and enjoy your nice little vacation while us Alliance grunts are working."

Kaidan laughed, "Working? All you have to do is fly us to Palaven and then you're on leave again. I, on the other hand, have to glad hand the local political scene with Anderson, _alone,_ because Shepard can't be there."

Shepard turned to Kaidan and smiled sweetly at him, "It will be good practice for you, Kaidan dear."

Garrus, who apparently caught the general gist of the conversation, walked up and commented, "Politicians like soldiers to be their friends; it makes them feel dangerous. So long as the soldier stands around looking menacing and doesn't talk much."

Shepard smiled at Garrus and said, "Thanks for coming, Garrus."

"Not a problem, honestly I wasn't looking forward to going back home, so your request gives me a valid excuse to duck my family."

The shuttle landed in the dock next to them. Kaidan pulled Shepard to his chest and kissed her thoroughly. When they separated they were both a little breathless. Kaidan whispered in Shepard's ear, "Occupez-vous de mon coeur, je l'ai quitté avec vous, mon chéri," after kissing her ear, Kaidan translated what he'd said, "take care of my heart, I have left it with you, my darling."

"Im innas thîr ab-gûr melith-nìn," Shepard answered smiling.

"What was that?"

"Elvish…"

Kaidan laughed, "you are such a nerd."

Shepard poked him in the stomach, "You should talk, Kaidan."

Kaidan smiled, "And what did you say?"

She leaned into him and whispered, "I'll look after your heart, my love."

Kaidan nodded and stepped back, "You should go, Wildcat."

Shepard nodded and picking up her duffle bag, she walked into the shuttle's airlock. After a moment Tali and Garrus followed her.

OoOoO

Liara was glad to see them again. When Shepard asked to speak to her in private, Liara was concerned but obligingly sent everyone out and moved her chair so they wouldn't be talking across her desk. After a full explanation of the past few weeks, Liara sat back in her chair. After a minute of thought Liara sat forward again, "Did you ever consider that _this_ is why Lawson stabbed you in the first place? That the Hemlock poisoning was just the mechanism or maybe even a distraction?"

Shepard, who had been sitting forward in her chair, slumped back and covered her eyes with her hand, "That makes sense; it even tracks with what Miranda said to me, 'for the good of humanity', dear god what have those bastards done to me?"

"Shepard, why did you come to me? The Alliance or the Counsel…"

Shepard uncovered her eyes and held up a hand and Liara stopped talking, "I don't want this on any official records, I don't want even the rumor of me being unstable to get out."

Liara nodded sympathetically, "I think I can understand that."

Shepard sighed, "Liara, I don't like the idea of doing this again, but would you mind-meld with me again?"

Liara's head snapped up, "You really are worried, Shepard." Shepard nodded, "very well," both of them sat forward. Liara's eyes turned jet black and she said, "embrace eternity!"

Shepard flashed back to the attack in the Rock Bottom Brewery, blinding pain blazed through her mind. Just as Shepard felt her biotics activate there was a tearing sensation in her mind and Liara shrieked in pain, flying backwards; Liara slammed into the wall hard enough to knock her out. Shepard screamed in pain too and fell out of her chair and curled up desperately trying to reabsorb the dark energy that glowed in a bright blue and white halo around her.

Shepard became aware of her surroundings eventually. She rolled onto her back, staring at the off-white ceiling. Shepard's head felt like it had split in two and her body felt like it was on fire and she ached abominably all over. It took her a moment to remember what she's been doing, "Liara!" Shepard rolled to her hands and knees then climbed to her feet. She almost fell back to the floor as waves of vertigo raked through her mind. Shepard threw her arms wide for balance, but it was several minutes before she was certain she could walk without falling. Shepard still stumbled, nearly falling twice, the short distance to where Liara still lay half propped up by the wall.

_Author's Notes: In the games the ships you run across are all "MSV" something or other; MSV stands for Mass Shipping Vehicle or something of that nature so when I was trying to think of a name for the corsairs' ship I also had to think of designation for it: GS is what I came up with meaning Gunnery Ship._

_I quoted _Twilight_ in this chapter._

_I got the French translations from_ _._

_I got the Sindarin translation at ._

_And no one got my STAR TREK reference in the last chapter there must not be any trekkies in my audience. The reference was to Deep Space Nine the name of the sevtion where the party was, was the Rio Grande. One of the run abouts is the Rio Grande._

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: Thanks!_

_thesolarrock: I'm glad you're enjoying my story!_


	12. Chapter 12 Catechize

Shepard more or less fell next to Liara. She checked the asari's pulse, it was strong but fast, "Liara?" Liara's eyelids flickered open and Shepard saw that her eyes were slowly fading from solid jet black back to their ordinary blue. Liara groaned and brought her hands up to gently probe her scalp. Shepard asked, "Liara are you alright? What happened?"

Liara groaned again, "I don't know, I've never heard of anything like this."

"I'm so sorry Liara if I had known, I'd never have asked."

Liara looked at Shepard for a moment, "Still trying to save the galaxy. Shepard, you could not have known."

Shepard nodded once, "So now we know for certain, this isn't something that's just happening; this is something that was done to me."

Liara, whose eyes were now fully blue again, rose shakily to her feet, "We know that. I wonder if they intended for this to happen or if this is just a side effect and we have yet to see the true results. "

"Does it matter if this is what they intended? The real question is: what does Cerberus gain by doing this to me?"

Liara nodded but stopped quickly and clutched her head groaning in pain; she whispered, "Ow ow ow…"

Shepard winced sympathy, considering what Liara had told Shepard about melding with humans, Liara's head might well hurt worse than her own. That was frightening thought, considering Shepard felt like her head was about to explode.

Liara shakily walked over to her desk and sitting down she said, "I'm calling a physician, she might be able to answer a few of our questions and she has reason to trust you."

"Why? Who is she?"

"You found her necklace in the port when you were here last."

Shepard sat abruptly on the floor and winced, "Sure I remember her; she was so upset about losing the necklace because it was the only picture she had for her daughter of her human partner."

"Her name is Hara T'Inga. She's a physician and research scientist who specializes in psychology and brain chemistry, that's how she met her partner, Steven. She was on earth studying your species and he was a doctor at one of the hospitals she visited," Liara punched a number into her comm. unit. Dr. T'Inga was nice especially after she found out that it was Shepard who was asking, and readily agreed to help. Unfortunately, the doctor couldn't come over right away, though part of her clearly wanted to, owing to the late hour and her young daughter. Dr. T'Inga made arrangements with Liara and Shepard for them to meet the doctor at her home first thing the next morning.

Shepard still ached abominably and after one look at Liara she knew the same went for the asari, "Liara, perhaps you shouldn't be alone after…well, whatever just happened. Especially with your enemy being who he is."

Liara after a moment's thought asked, "What did you have in mind?"

"The ship I came on-"

"The _GS Pulsar_," Liara said.

"That's it. Anyways, it's crewed by Alliance Corsairs. It will be safer for you to stay with us rather than on your own until we're sure there aren't any adverse effects from what happened."

Liara considered for several minutes before saying, "You're right Shepard, but I don't want to impose on you."

"Liara neither of us is capable of fighting a space-monkey right now much less an armed enemy."

Liara looked down at her, "Shepard…"

"Liara, you're still my squad. It's my job to keep my people safe."

"Lawson's an idiot to throw your loyalty away for Cerberus; alright Shepard, thank you, I accept."

"Now all we have to do is get there," after a moment's thought Shepard said, "call Garrus and Tali; they'll get us there. We're going to have to explain what happened though. Or at least tell them what occurred since we really don't know what the hell happened yet."

Liara laid her arms on her desk and gently buried her head in her arms. Liara's voice came through a bit muffled as she said, "I feel like I got on the wrong side of a volcano again…"

Shepard laughed. She hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, "I haven't felt this bad since basic."

Liara's wry laugh was muffled by her arms, "I don't think I've ever felt this bad before," the door opened to revealed a lethally armed squad of Eclipse mercenaries. Shepard, exhaustion and pain forgotten, reacted instantly rolling forward onto one knee drawing her pistol and firing. Liara threw several of the mercenaries before she was slammed back into the wall by an Eclipse sentinel. Shepard overloaded one of the mercenary's shields before dodging behind Liara's desk and checking the asari's pulse, she was alive but unconscious.

Four of the mercenaries charged Shepard and she made a valiant effort in the restricted space, shooting two of them before she was relieved of her pistol. Two of the mercenaries held her as a fourth frisked her checking for concealed weapons; they found her knives and her hold-out pistol. Shepard, still reeling from the failed meld with Liara and from the mercenaries' take down, never the less still managed to fight her captors. Her captors took exception to this and slammed Shepard into the wall with enough force to knock the breath from her lungs.

Her vision darkened and Shepard almost wished she would pass out, but she could not afford to, not now. Blinking and fighting to stay conscious Shepard didn't see the mercenary officer step forward and press a syringe to the inside of her left elbow, she felt it though. She also felt the drug course through her veins like fire, a few moments later she passed out.

OoOoO

The first thing Liara was aware of was someone calling her name. It was Tali, when Liara groaned and opened her eyes. She saw that Tali and Garrus stood amongst the wreckage of her office; Garrus asked "What happened? Where's Shepard?"

Tali, sounding worried, said, "Garrus, she's hurt, she must have medical help. We should take her to the ship."

Garrus, clearly agitated, said "What about Shepard? We need to find her."

Tali turned back to Liara, "Do you know what time you were attacked?"

"After eight fifteen, that's when I talked to the doctor that was going to take a look at Shepard."

"That was over an hour ago, Garrus, whoever it was is long gone by now," Tali's voice was tense and worried, "Liara, can you walk? We really should get you to the _Pulsar_."

"I don't think I can walk yet."

Garrus growled, then suddenly and without a moment's hesitation, he walked over to Liara and swung her up into his arms and began walking to the _Pulsar_. Liara thought she was going to be sick from the abrupt movement; fortunately for Garrus she wasn't. After a brief walk they arrived at the _Pulsar_, where Garrus and Tali took Liara to the Med Bay.

Liara waited until Garrus and Tali had taken her to an empty guest cabin to tell them everything that had happened. Garrus was restless and pacing, "We've had dealings with Eclipse before. Shepard might not have been turned over to whoever hired them yet and we know where the base is."

Liara, who taken a pain killer to ease her head ache, stood and turned to Garrus, "Then I will go with you."

Tali nodded, looking to Garrus, "I'm going, too."

Garrus looked up freezing as he noticed they were both watching him, "What? Why are you both looking at me?"

Tali, sounding grave, answered him, "You're Shepard's lieutenant, after Kaidan you're probably her best. She trusted you to lead us through the Collector's Base three times."

Garrus looked at Tali for a moment. Slowly resolve entered his eyes and he said, "We're going to the Eclipse base and we're going to take our Captain back."

OoOoO

"They're coming to retrieve you, Captain," Miranda said turning to Shepard, "what they don't realize is; it's too late to save you." Miranda stood in a medical lab, Shepard was laying on a hospital bed and unconscious for the moment.

A blonde haired man walked into the room the reinforced door shutting behind him and glared at Miranda, "That was to close. You should have got there sooner."

Miranda spun and glared right back, "And you should have listened to me in the first place," Miranda turned back to Shepard and brushed her fingers along were she'd stabbed her former Captain.

"We need to take her and leave now, Lawson."

Miranda rolled her eyes at the man's back. Miranda leaned down and whispered, "I'm sorry," before she followed the man towards the door.

OoOoO

Garrus slide under cover as an Eclipse mercenary launched a rocket at him. Liara sprang up and threw four mercenaries into a crate that promptly and spectacularly exploded. Garrus heard Tali call out, "Go for the optics, Chikktika! Go for the optics!"

Garrus chuckled dryly as he jumped over the crate and ran forward firing with his tungsten armor piercing ammo to slide behind another crate. He knelt there only long enough to pop out his spent heat sink and push in another one before he was up and firing again. There was a grinding sound to his right, Garrus turned to look and cursed. Two YMIR Mechs were activating themselves in a shipping crate right next to him. A dozen shots rang out from behind him and Garrus cursed again; He was about to be pinned down in a crossfire. Choosing the lesser of two evils, Garrus jumped over the crate he was leaning against and opened fire on the mercs. Two of them fell in his initial assault; a third got two shots off before Garrus killed her too. The last two tried duck behind cover. Tali shot one and Liara lifted the other into the air and Garrus promptly shot him too. Total elapsed time about ten seconds and the YMIR's were full awake now and were beginning to firing at them.

"Liara, Tali, move up here!" when they complied, Garrus stood and sprinted to the left and forward to flank the mechs. The YMIR's tracked him with their machine guns, exploding a crate of something in the process. As Garrus dodged behind another stack of crates, Liara warped one of the YMIR's shields. Garrus overloaded the shields of the other YMIR and fired a concussive shot at it taking the mech's armor. Tali activated her drone again and popped out of cover to fire her shot gun at the YMIR that Garrus had weakened. The first YMIR started marching towards Garrus while the severely weakened YMIR began to walk to where Tali and Liar were hiding. Garrus grinned, the other two could take out that one while he focused on the bigger threat.

Garrus popped up and fired off a dozen shots of tungsten ammo taking down the YMIR's armor before ducking back down to avoid a rocket. Garrus heard the other YMIR explode. Popping up again he poured rounds into the remaining YMIR until it collapsed; The YMIR exploded just as Garrus ducked back down.

With a predatory snarl he led his squad forward into the heart of the Eclipse base. They encountered another half squad of mercs before their progress was checked by a large reinforced door. Garrus examined the locking console a moment before waving Tali forward. His technical skills were good but not _that_ good, better to let an expert handle this door.

A minute later the door obligingly opened under Tali expert ministrations. Miranda Lawson and another man were walking towards the door. Garrus reacted instantly and shot the man between the eyes, he fell to the floor dead before he knew what happened. Lawson reacted and slammed Garrus into the ground.

Liara to reciprocate the move on Miranda, Tali ran forward and pointed her pistol at Mirada's face, "Where's Shepard, traitor?"

"I'm right here," Shepard slid off the bed and stepped forward, "please don't break Miranda, Tali."

Garrus groaned and climbed to his feet, "We should take her with us when we go; she may know how to fix what she did to you Shepard."

"Maybe," her voice was detached.

Garrus's head snapped up and he looked her, _really_ looked at her. The lively spark that was usually in her eyes was gone and the expression on her face was empty and cold. Not at all like the open compassion that usually marked her features. Her stance was relaxed but closed and weary; Shepard's whole manner had changed and was utterly at odds with the human who Garrus had willingly followed through so much. Garrus was unsettled by that change, "Yes, go. Or don't you remember Lawson stabbed you and then these people kidnapped you."

"None of that matters now. I have work to do, work that I can only do with Cerberus at my back."

_Author's Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful Beta Reader Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: ::broad smirk:: glad to give wonderful mental eye candy… and about Shepard well you won't get that for a bit. I like spreading those sorts of revelations out._

_AletaLune: So you're a Twilighter too, awesome! Thank you!_

_thesolarrock: Thanks!_


	13. Chapter 13 Honor

Tali asked in an even tone, "Shepard, what about Kaidan?"

Something sparked in Shepard's heart when Tali said his name, "I…"

Miranda turned to look at Shepard and said, "Cerberus calls for you, Captain Shepard, to fight against the Reapers in the name of humanity,"

Cold anger coursed down her spine, "The Reapers will not destroy us; I won't allow it."

Garrus growled and stepped up to where Lawson lay on the floor and kicked her in the face. Miranda's eyes rolled up and she collapsed to the floor, "No more talking, traitor."

Shepard snarled and jumped at him. Garrus dodged back, "Stop it, Shepard!"

"Whatever they've done to you, you must fight it until we can get you help!" Liara said alarmed.

Tali, ever the observant one, said, "Shepard, think of Kaidan."

Shepard froze, panting. Pain pounded through her veins along with anger directed at all the galaxy. But Tali's reminder gave her a tiny handhold and she clung to it desperately, "I can't think...it hurts… to think of him," her knees buckled and she collapsed. Garrus caught her before she could hit the floor and lowered her gently. When he let her go Shepard clutched her head.

Liara stepped forward and stooped down next to where Shepard was kneeling, "Shepard…?" Shepard shook her head not looking round. Liara put her arm around Shepard's shoulders, she flinched but didn't pull away from Liara, "Shepard you're in pain, let us help."

Shepard whimpered and finally looked up, "F-for …d-do…s-som-some-…thing."

Liara nodded and looked at Garrus and Tali, "Find a sedative, we can take her back to your ship and then have her looked at by my contact."

"What? Why not the ships' doctor?" Garrus asked as Tali began searching.

"Shepard wanted this kept quiet, and I think it even more important now than ever that we follow her wishes," Liara looked down at Shepard for a moment, "My contact is a doctor who specializes in studying the way people think and how their brains physically work. She should be able to at least give us a baseline of how to proceed."

Garrus nodded and went about looking for a sedative for Shepard. As he was going through the cabinets, Garrus observed, "We should be careful when trying to drug Shepard, she's a soldier and a biotic; I doubt it would be exactly healthy for us to trigger her battle instincts."

It was actually Tali that found the necessary drug. She pressed the needle into Liara's hand from behind so Shepard wouldn't see. Liara said softly, "Look at Garrus, Shepard."

Shepard perforce looked up at Garrus, who knelt down in front of her. Liara quickly pressed the needle into Shepard's wrist and injected her. Shepard's head snapped around to look at Liara sharply and tensed before her eyelids drooped; "Oh…" she whispered and slumped against Liara.

Garrus ran his hand along his prosthetic mandible, "That was…disturbing."

Liara looked up at him, "To say the least."

OoOoO

They kept Shepard sedated all night. She looked peaceful and young lying on the bed in her quarters. While Shepard was no child by human standards, technically she was thirty-one years old, or twenty-nine if you didn't count the two years she was dead, Liara couldn't help but think of her as a child. Liara's admiration of Shepard was long standing and had not diminished by the intervening years. There was something compelling about Shepard; the human term for it was 'charismatic' and Liara readily applied it to Shepard. Now Cerberus sought to control Shepard, that much was crystal clear. The only question remaining was what method they were using to accomplish it.

Tali and Liara were sitting quietly, talking about this in Shepard's room when Garrus led Dr. T'Inga in. Garrus was carrying two very large bags and the doctor was carrying a third. Liara didn't say anything, she just regarded the bags for a moment before looking up at the other asari. Garrus sat down as the doctor began setting up medical scanning devices and other gadgets. When Hara T'Inga realized that Liara was watching her, the doctor said, "Your communiqués to me suggested some unknown method of mind control. When the unknown is involved it's best to test everything, and," the doctor waved at the devices she was setting out, "I like to be prepared."

Once Dr. T'Inga finished setting up she turned to Shepard and looked at her for a moment before asking, "How long has she been sedated? And what did you use?"

Garrus stood and handed Dr. T'Inga what was left of the bottle of medicine the _Pulsar_'s doctor had used and the sedative they'd used on Shepard in the Eclipse base and said, "She's been sedated for almost twelve hours."

Dr. T'Inga placed a diagnostic node to each of Shepard's temples, then laser linked a diagnostic device to the nodes. Whatever Dr. T'Inga saw made the soft spoken gentle asari woman swear blackly under her breath. She put the device down and walked back to her bag and pulled out several more diagnostic nodes, another mystery device, and began attaching the nodes to Shepard's face. She turned on the new device and began making notes on a datapad. This went on for several minutes before Liara, speaking for all them, asked, "Can you tell what's wrong?"

Dr. T'Inga looked up, startled, she seemed to have forgotten the others in the room, "I can't tell you what's wrong; but I can tell you that even in the last few minutes her brain chemistry has changed measurably."

Garrus after a brief moment of thought asked, "And what does that mean?"

Dr. T'Inga looked up from her work at the three of them and noticed their general air of befuddlement, "It means that the way Captain Shepard's mind works is being altered, on a chemical level."

Tali, sounding surprised asked, "How is that even possible?"

Dr. T'Inga put the diagnostic device down with a sigh, "I have no idea."

Liara looked troubled, "So then you don't know how to reverse it?"

Dr. T'Inga shook her head, "Never mind reversing it, I can't even tell what's causing it. Although…hmm…" she dragged out a third device and switched it on. She studied the readouts for several minutes before, "huh…now that's interesting." she looked up and said, "there's a measurable cycle to the change; meaning that the change will slow down then her nervous system 'pulses', so to speak, and the change speeds up again. I've noted three such 'pulses'. It's strange though according to my readings the 'pulse' is coming from something external to the nervous system."

Tali, Liara and Garrus sat there digesting this information for several minutes before Garrus stood and said, "Excuse me."

Tali turned to him, "Garrus, where are you going?"

"To contact Kaidan, he needs to know what's happening," Garrus turned and strode from the room.

Liara turned back to Dr. T'Inga, "We need as much information as you can give us." The doctor nodded and went to back work. Liara turned to Tali and said, "In the mean time, I should get back to my office. There I can get my contacts moving on this problem."

OoOoO

Kaidan was standing just outside the main assembly hall of the Turian Governmental Palace of the Hierarchy. His talk with Garrus had made it difficult to stay and go through with a ceremony that was by and large political in nature. Kaidan had always disliked politics. Now Kaidan hated politics with a _fiery passion_. These politicians were keeping him from going to Shepard when she needed him, and according to Garrus, Shepard's condition was degrading by the hour.

The turian guard to the right of the door waved him forward and the guard to the left opened the door. There was a ringing of bells throughout the assembly hall, the Earth equivalent would of been trumpets, and Kaidan was flanked by Captain Kurion and Commander and Doctor Kalia as he walked along the extremely long aisle up to the dais at the front of the assembly hall.

After the three of them walked up the four steps to the top of the dais they stopped and turned to face the crowd. Kaidan had his best 'grim and soldierly' expression on his face as he faced the crowd. Admiral Hackett himself stepped forward and made a short speech about turian human relations and how their species were brothers in arms now. Next a turian stepped forward and made a rather loquacious speech saying exactly the same thing Admiral Hackett had just said.

Finally, Admiral Kryllin stepped up, turning to Kalia and Kurion and asking in a formal tone, "Do you agree that Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko went beyond the call of duty on the mission to save yourselves and your units from a dangerous situation?" both Captain Kurion and Commander Kalia acknowledged that they believed so.

Kaidan bowed to Admiral Kryllin. When he straightened up he then turned to where the members of the Turian Hierarchy were sitting and bowed again. Admiral Kryllin had briefed Kaidan on the formal phrases that were acceptable to say and Kaidan choose the simplest and most straight forward ones, "I, Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko of the _Normandy_ salute you and thank you for the honor you have shown me this day. I thank my Captain who gave the honor of trust and command. And I thank the soldiers who helped me to accomplish my mission." Kaidan bowed to the members of the Hierarchy again and then to Admiral Kryllin before stepping back into his position in front of Captain Kurion and Commander Kalia.

The head of the Hierarchy stood and bowed to Kaidan, "We accept your thanks with gratitude Staff Commander Alenko. The _Normandy_ has a history of heroic and selfless deeds that you proudly upheld on Melba. It is our honor to confer upon you the Spirit of Palaven."

Admiral Kryllin stepped up to Kaidan's side and said, "Staff Commander Alenko." Admiral Kryllin turned to his aide. She was holding a turian blood-blue pillow with large star medal on a white ribbon. Admiral Kryllin picked up the commendation by its ribbon and Kaidan bowed to the Admiral and he placed the ribbon around Kaidan's neck.

The whole audience stood and clapped for Kaidan as he stepped back. He just wished the ceremony would end so he could get to Illium. Admiral Kryllin shook his hand first; then Kaidan found himself faced with a whole line of people who wanted to shake his hand as well. Kaidan suppressed a groan and fought to keep the irritation out of his face and voice as he spoke to each of the members of the Hierarchy. Councilor David Anderson and Admiral Hackett joined him after Kaidan had spoken to the first Hierarchy official.

After shaking what felt like a hundred turian officials hands, and counting the seconds in his mind until he could gracefully leave, Anderson turned to him and said, "We can leave now Alenko. Come with me and I'll take you to the shuttle port." Kaidan blinked in surprise but nodded readily.

When the two of them were seated in the back of Anderson's car, the man turned to Kaidan and asked worried, "How bad is Shepard really? Your brief to me before the ceremony wasn't particularly clear."

Kaidan sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "I truly don't know. The doctor they've got, some sort of specialist, doesn't seem to be able to say. I'm worried, I'm going directly to Illium from here. The crew's already back aboard the _Normandy_."

Anderson sat back, his face grave, "I care about Shepard a great deal, and I've known her since she enlisted. She's one of the best officers I've ever served with."

"I know that, sir. She told me you were her mentor. Though she refused to tell me how the two of you met. She was nearly cackling when I asked her but she told me it was a matter of confidence."

Startled, Anderson barked a laugh, "Yes well Shepard was fresh out of the recruiter's office and reporting to me because I happened to be Officer of the Day. My aide-de-camp, a man named Burns, knocked several files off my desk by accident when he put a stack of papers on it. I was leaning back in my chair and Burns was on the floor and Shepard walked in at exactly the wrong moment."

Kaidan laughed for moment before something occurred to him and he stopped laughing abruptly, "Sir, why did you stonewall me both times I asked about Shepard?"

_Author's Notes: I made use of the Mass Effect Wikipedia for Kaidan's award ceremony __http:/ masseffect. /wiki/ Turian# Military_

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta reader Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: ::evil grin:: you shall see…_

_AletaLune: …not that I'm going to answer most of your wonderful questions, I kind of feel bad about that but thus is life, sorry. I will tell you that everything I have Cerberus do follows logically, to my mind, what happened in my play through of Lucille Shepard._

_Jenna53: Thanks and welcome back!_


	14. Chapter 14 Asleep

Anderson sat back, his face empty of emotions. "Confirming or denying Shepard's reemergence would have served as a distraction you during your mission on Horizon."

Kaidan gave Anderson a sharp look, "And the second time, when Shepard rejoined the Alliance?"

Anderson was quiet for several minutes before answering, "In your debriefing about Horizon you reported that your words to her were harsh and that you parted on uncivil terms."

Kaidan regarded the Councilman for a moment before saying, "I see," and sitting back in his seat.

The two of them sat in silence for several minutes before Anderson said, "I had some reservations about Hackett's choice to allow you to be assigned to the Normandy. I am glad that my fears were unfounded."

Kaidan looked at Anderson a moment before saying, "We handled our attraction to each other well enough on our mission against Sovereign."

Anderson nodded, "You did; but as far as I know the two of you weren't actually in a relationship then."

Kaidan restrained a smirk with difficulty, "Actually we were together after we left the Citadel before heading to Ilos."

Anderson blinked surprised, "I was referring to Virmire."

Kaidan winced but didn't say anything. They arrived at the shuttle port before the silence could get any more awkward. Kaidan said, "Thank you for the ride, Councilor Anderson." Anderson nodded and Kaidan got out and caught a shuttle going to Palaven Station, where the _Normandy_ was docked.

OoOoO

Two days later, Kaidan watched as Shepard was transferred into the _Normandy_'s Med Bay. She looked pale, even for someone who spent most of her time in space. After she was laid on one of the beds, Kaidan walked to her side and gently brushed her cheek. He stood like that for a moment longer before he turned to Dr. T'Inga, "What can you tell me?"

Dr. Chakwas walked over to listen as Dr. T'Inga began to speak. "Not much more than you know already. Shepard's brain is being altered, literally the way she thinks is being subtlety and slowly changed. Even I wouldn't have noticed the change if I weren't watching it happen."

Dr. Chakwas asked, "Exactly how is her mind being altered?" T'Inga launched into a long explanation involving long chemical names and exact references to parts of the human brain. Kaidan understood maybe one word in five and decided to give up; he didn't speak biochemistry.

Kaidan cleared his throat. Both women turned to him, looking surprised, as he asked, "Can whatever's happening be stopped or reversed?"

The doctors exchanged a long glance then before turning back to Kaidan, "We would have to find out what's causing the change before we can answer that," Dr. Chakwas answered.

"Carry on, then," Kaidan said, nodding to the doctors before returning to Shepard's side. He kissed her forehead, whispering, "I'll be back later, Wildcat." Stepping away, Kaidan took a deep breath as he approached the door to the AI Core at the back of the Med Bay. He was not looking forward to his next conversation.

Miranda Lawson sat on a metal table in the back of the Core, an Anti-Biotic Collar around her neck, guarded by four of the _Normandy_'s marines. Lawson glanced up at him; she looked Kaidan over with a slightly unsettling interest. "So you're the reason Shepard left Cerberus and returned to the Alliance."

Kaidan's grin was ice cold in contrast to the white hot anger that blazed through him, "She would have done it for much less." Lawson's eyes widened in what Kaidan thought might be surprise before she regained control of her features. He looked Lawson over with a keen interest, "You stabbed Captain Shepard in order to get something in her system. At the time she and I thought it was the Hemlock, but now I can make an educated guess and say that the Hemlock was just a smokescreen and the real goal was to infect her with whatever is causing the change that is currently taking place in the Captain's brain."

Lawson regarded him with a detached air that made Kaidan long to haul off and smack the superior smirk off of the woman's face, "You are going to tell me what you did to her. Then you are going to tell me how to reverse it."

Lawson's interest in him sharpened measurably through this short speech and at the end she looked, strange, not scared certainly, but wary, "And why would I tell you that?"

She held Kaidan's gaze defiantly for a long moment before she looked away, "You're a known agent of a terrorist cell wanted by both the Citadel Security Force and the Systems Alliance for attempted murder and use of a hazardous substance on a living person. You're on my ship and in my custody, what do you think will happen to you if you don't tell everything I want to know?"

Miranda laughed confidently, "Please Commander Alenko, let's not make idle threats…" Something in Alenko's face sparked and flared into quiet fury. He drew his knife and stepped forward, just one step towards Miranda and something inside her quailed. She'd seen the parts of Alenko's military file that Cerberus had gotten a hold of, nothing in it indicated he would be capable of even contemplating _allowing_ torture. Miranda had never seen anyone project so much malevolent menace ever, it was as fascinating as it was terrifying.

"Understand this Lawson, I would die for Shepard as she would for me. As she would for anyone of her people, as she would have done for you," Kaidan paused to step forward again and Miranda fought not to shrink back. "The thought of torture makes me sick, but I will do what I have to in the service of one whom I love."

Everything about Commander Alenko screamed danger to Miranda's instincts, from the cold fury in Alenko's eyes to the tension in every muscle in his body, Miranda had no wish to test his temper or his patience. With a start Miranda realized she was actually afraid of this man. She was only afraid of one other person, this man's lover. The lover that Miranda had willing stabbed, poisoned and infected with the Illusive Man's experimental indoctrination process. Miranda's loyalty to Cerberus, to the Illusive Man, warred with her survival instinct.

Miranda watched, hypnotized as much by the blade in Alenko's hand as by the look on the man's face, as he took another step forward, "I do not make idle threats Lawson. Even if I did all I'd have to do is let the crew have you, none of them are happy about what you did to their Captain. What do you think they'd do to you?"

Miranda felt the blood rush from her face. She didn't even want to think about what Grunt would do to her, or worse yet _Mordin_, "I…"

"Yes?" Alenko took another step towards her.

Miranda felt herself shrunk back, "I can't…"

Alenko stepped again, "Pity."

Miranda flinched, and closed her eyes, "I can't tell you what I don't know."

Miranda heard Alenko took another step towards her, one more step and he would be close enough to use that knife on her, "Don't even pretend you don't know what you did to her."

Miranda was terrified in a way she'd never been before. This wasn't the fear mixed with adrenaline that she felt in combat. This was fear in cold blood with no excitement to edge out its hold on her mind. Fear without release. Unless she betrayed an organization she truly and deeply believed in; an organization that shielded her sister from their father. Cerberus would stop protecting Oriana if she defected. Or they would hurt her to get to Miranda.

Miranda opened her eyes. She slowly raised her gaze to his, and looked into the coldest eyes she ever hoped to see. There was no compassion in Alenko's gaze; it was like looking into the eyes of death, "I can't, Cerberus holds my sister."

Alenko did not change expression, "The Alliance is aware of what Cerberus did for you and your sister. Oriana James has enlisted in the Alliance and is working in the Colonial Affairs Office on Arcturus part time while she goes to University there." Miranda was taken aback. She wasn't surprised enough to forget her fear of Alenko, unfortunately. Alenko took one last step towards Miranda and she felt herself begin to shake, "you see, Shepard told Hackett about everything that happened during your mission against the Collectors. I wanted to make sure you had no reason not to give me what I want."

Miranda swallowed. No reason beyond loyalty to Cerberus. An organization she believed in. Alenko's malevolent presence hadn't abated one bit and Miranda finally came to an understanding of Shepard love for this man. Up until this meeting she hadn't understood Shepard's devotion to Alenko. He seemed stiff and boring, but there was something there that she would never have guessed existed in so mild mannered a man. She looked up beyond Alenko's shoulder to the marines that were stationed there to guard her. They were watching to be sure, but they were looking on vicariously.

Miranda flinched as Alenko raised his free hand and grabbed one of her wrists, "I… don't…"

Alenko stopped; his voice was snapping with barely restrained fury, "Yes?"

"I don't know much."

Alenko squeezed her wrist not hard enough to bruise, just with the promise of what was to come if she didn't cooperate, "Start talking Lawson, now."

"The Illusive Man assigned me to be part of team that was called Trojan Horse. Our objective was to design something that would allow us to bring Shepard back to Cerberus subtly. I wasn't the project director, a man named Frank Biggerstaff was. He was the man that Garrus shot. They based what they were doing on the Reaper indoctrination process. I don't know exactly what they did, that wasn't part of my job. I think the Illusive Man doubted me, my loyalty, after my time with Shepard. That's why I wasn't in charge of the project."

"How exactly did the 'indoctrination' work?"

"I don't know. I was just given a knife coated with the catalyst and Hemlock to disguise it. If Biggerstaff had listened to me when I told him it was too soon, Shepard wouldn't have even remembered that it was me who stabbed her until after the process was complete."

"How do we reverse it?"

"I don't know."

"It seems you don't know much that will help," Alenko tightened his grip on her wrist and Miranda flinched but met his gaze squarely. The stood there looking at each other for several minutes, "is there anything else you can tell me about Shepard's condition?" Miranda shook her head. Alenko gazed at her for moment longer, appraising her, before he let go of her wrist and stepped back sheathing his knife, "thank you Miss Lawson." Alenko's malevolence dissipated only slightly as he strode from the AI Core.

Dr. Chakwas and Dr. T'Inga had clearly still been talking before Kaidan came out but they stopped and turned to stare at him. Dr. Chakwas spoke first, "Commander?"

Kaidan paused on his way to Shepard's side, to inform them, "Lawson doesn't know any of the science of what she did to the Captain. She only knows that this," he waved at Shepard, "was based on the Reaper indoctrination process." he continued on his way to Shepard's bedside.

An hour later, after the doctors had kicked him out of the Med Bay, Kaidan sat alone at one of mess tables. He was staring at the remains of his dinner trying to decide what to do about Shepard. What Cerberus had done to her made him angrier then he'd ever have thought possible. Keeping her in a medical coma made him sick as hell but he couldn't see an alternative to it. Aside from Kaidan, she trusted Garrus, Tali and Liara more than anyone in the galaxy and yet Shepard had attacked Garrus with lethal force. Kaidan heard footsteps and looked up. It was Tali.

There were several minutes of silence before Tali said hesitantly, "Joker and I were watching you on the monitors when you were with Miranda."

Kaidan's head came up and he look into Tali's face mask, "Yes?"

Tali went on even more hesitantly, "Would you have…?"

"Tortured Lawson?" Tali nodded. Kaidan sighed and rubbed his forehead, "I…don't know. If she hadn't broken; for Shepard I think I would do nearly anything…"

The two of them sat together silently for several more minutes, each one thinking their own thoughts before Tali broke the silence by asking, "Kaidan, how is Shepard?"

Kaidan shook his head and shrugged looking back down at his tray, "Getting worse, or so the doctors say. And apparently they don't know what's causing the change therefore they don't know how to stop it never mind how to reverse it; if that's even possible at this point."

Tali put a hand on his arm briefly in silent comfort, and Kaidan covered her hand with his as he said to her, "I just got her back, and now Cerberus wants to take her away from me again."

_Author's Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: I'm glad you enjoyed that too! I certainly had fun writing it._


	15. Chapter 15 Fallen

Jacob stood in the Med Bay staring at the door to the AI Core. He'd told himself he was going to the Med Bay to see Shepard. Jacob knew he was lying to himself even as he stared at the door to Miranda's prison. He had questions for her not the least of which was why; why had she attacked Shepard? Jacob had thought Shepard was the one thing they could still agree on. That Shepard was the only one who could protect and save the galaxy from the Reapers.

Jacob sighed and turned from the door and started to walk away. Just before he left the Med Bay he stopped and turned around to face the door to the AI Core again. Indecision gripped him and he didn't know if he wanted to talk to Miranda or not. What could she say that would justify what she had done to the woman they both had so willingly followed into certain death? To Shepard who had, against all odds, gotten them all alive through what they had both rightfully considered a suicide mission? Jacob still wanted to know why she had done it. With resolution he strode across the Med Bay and through the door into the AI Core.

Miranda looked up at him. Jacob's first thought was that the anti-biotic collar looked wrong on her graceful neck, it was so bulky. She was staring at him, her face devoid of emotion and utterly closed. The two of them regarded each other for a long moment before Miranda looked away and said in a detached voice that was entirely unlike her, "Hello, Jacob."

"Miranda, why?"

Miranda scrutinized his face for a moment before answering him, "Orders."Jacob felt his eyes narrow in anger. Miranda gazed at him with a detached interest, "you don't like that answer. Very well, I did it because the Illusive Man wants Shepard fighting for Cerberus not the Systems Alliance."

"So you happily agreed to brainwash our leader."

"Captain Shepard is not my leader. Not anymore."

"By your own actions."

"Yes. And I didn't do it happily. It had to be me because-"

"No one else could get close enough to Shepard without arousing her suspicions."

Miranda looked away from his face before nodding, "I didn't know that it would make her unstable."

"Kaidan said you were on the team that made what you infected Shepard with."

"I was but the Illusive Man no longer trusts me as he once did."

"Considering you were planning to betray and stab your last commander, I can't say I blame him." Miranda looked up sharply but did not gainsay this.

After a long awkward moment of silence Miranda asked, "What's happening with Shepard? Is she…how is she?"

Jacob's expression darkened with anger, "She's in a medical coma. You saw her attack Garrus. She's a danger to everyone around her."

"So her friends are keeping her in a drugged sleep for fear of what she _might_ do?"

"For fear of what she might do _for_ _you_, since you seem to have Shepard under your control."

"Me? I have no contact with her in this cell."

Jacob looked at her sharply, "It's not a cell, and considering what you've done you deserve it."

Miranda shook her head not in denial perhaps, but in disagreement, "I did what I had to, and I'm not the one drugging her."

Jacob hesitated before snapping back, "No, you're the reason she needs to be drugged." he looked her over for several more moments before he said, "you're not the Miranda I knew," and he turned and walked from the room.

Jacob had meant to go back to his workstation, but hesitated when he walked past Shepard's bed. Miranda was wrong about so many things; but this, keeping Shepard asleep, was she wrong about this? Jacob shook his head and strode from the Med Bay.

OoOoO

Kaidan stood in the Loft looking at his and Shepard's bed. She was below deck in the Med Bay in a medically induced coma because one of her people had betrayed her. Kaidan paced to the desk next to the bed and picked up a datapad trying to distract himself. He kept seeing Shepard in his mind as Garrus described her; full of pain and fear, fighting against herself. Kaidan wasn't even there and it still haunted him.

Now though, Shepard was asleep to protect them all. She was far too good a fighter to risk allowing her to regain consciousness. Kaidan doubted that any of them could go toe to toe with her in a real fight and survive, Shepard was just that good. And yet he hated to have her kept in a drugged sleep for fear of what might happen. Might? Shepard had attacked _Garrus_. Garrus, one of the people Shepard cared about most in the galaxy and yet she had attacked him.

They couldn't keep this quiet much longer. One way or another something had to give. Kaidan knew what he was doing and why but he still hated himself for it. At the same time he wished he could just walk down to the Med Bay and wake Shepard up without all this hand wringing on his part.

The need for his internal debate vanished a moment later when Joker came over the _Normandy_'s comm., "Commander, Shepard and Miranda just walked out the airlock."

Kaidan cursed blackly before answering, "I'll be right down, Joker."

After and interminably long ride in the _Normandy_'s elevator, Kaidan ran up the CIC to the cockpit where Joker was standing next to his chair fidgeting, waiting for Kaidan. Joker actually saluted, a sure sign that he was upset, "Commander?"

"Did either of them say anything to you?"

"I asked the Captain where she was going and she said she was 'going home'." Although Joker was talking fast in agitation, his words were perfectly clear.

Kaidan blinked in confusion and surprise, "What?"

Joker stopped fidgeting and looked up at Kaidan's face before answering. "The Captain's gone back to hanging out with the wrong crowd; you know those Cerberus folks are just bad news."

Kaidan swore blackly in three different languages, and then he hissed, "Lawson! How did she get to…?" Kaidan considered carefully for a moment then looked up at Joker, "show me in the Med Bay from half an hour before Shepard's awakening to now." Joker complied. The two of them watched as Jacob walked out of the AI Core and watched Jacob look at Shepard for several minutes before he shook his head and strode from the room. Joker fast forwarded the recording until Shepard opened her eyes. They watched as Shepard sat up and stretched then looked around the Med Bay in confusion. Dr. Chakwas and Dr. T'Inga looked up at Shepard and stood to walk over to her.

The two doctors started asking questions. Kaidan wasn't focusing on them though; it was Shepard's reaction that riveted his attention, her head was cocked to one side and she was watching them like they were mildly interesting insects barely worth her time. Kaidan knew that Shepard cared about and enjoyed talking to Dr. Chakwas at least. The cold disdain on this Shepard's face drove home the point in a way that charts and medical jargon simply could not: Shepard had been subtlety, but violently altered from the woman he loved and the woman he would have willing followed into to hell itself.

Doctor T'Inga gestured to the door to the AI Core and Shepard's head snapped up and she glowered fiercely at Dr. T'Inga, who stepped back looking alarmed. Dr. Chakwas hesitantly stepped forward and gently put a hand on Shepard sleeve. Shepard looked at the hand then up at the doctor. Dr. Chakwas took the hint and stepping back she removed the hand. Shepard said something and Dr. Chakwas answered hesitantly and Shepard glowered again this time at Dr. Chakwas. Shepard expression cleared and she waved her hand in a clear dismissal then walked resolutely toward the AI Core.

Without being asked Joker brought up the recording from the AI Core. Shepard entered and Miranda and the four marines looked up at the Captain. Shepard snapped a question at the Marines then listened to their replies. Shaking her head Shepard pointed towards the door ordering the marines to leave. Sergeant Patterson shook his head in denial. Shepard glowered at the brawny veteran and stepped towards him. The Sergeant braced and said something to which Shepard bared her teeth in a snarl. Patterson swallowed but shook his head a second time. One of the marines stepped forward and put a hand on Shepard's shoulder.

It was the wrong move, Shepard grabbed his wrist and slammed him into Patterson and then kicked one of the other two marines as he rushed forward. Shepard allowed the other marine to get a hand on her before she broke it for him. The man screamed, going pale, and went to one knee panting. Patterson and the other three marines charged her from behind. Shepard spun and kicked the first one down, the second tripped over the first and went down. Shepard focused on Patterson. He was tense and wary, watching her.

Shepard locked eyes with him, grinning wolfishly and without humor. She made a come and get me gesture and Patterson shook his head. The feral grin still on her face, she strode the two steps to meet Patterson and the two engaged. Kaidan was impressed with Patterson's hand to hand skills the man actually kept up with her for a minute or two. But it was futile, Shepard got under his guard and swept Patterson's feet from under him. The man dropped and Shepard laid a vicious kick to Patterson's abdomen before dropping him from her attention.

Shepard walked towards Lawson. Lawson, who had been watching Shepard beat the tar out of her own soldiers in growing alarm, flinched back. Shepard waved her hand at Lawson and stepped forward again. As Shepard took another step she walked into the barrier that was Lawson's 'cell' and EDI activated next to Shepard. Shepard did not look happy with what the AI had to say.

Kaidan guessed that Shepard didn't like being told that EDI had no intention of deactivating the barrier. Shepard's face cleared and strode over to the AI console and began bypassing what looked like the security grid to Kaidan. Kaidan groaned and shook his head. EDI should have known better, Shepard had started her military career as an Alliance Sentinel and was as good a hacker as Kaidan himself.

The barrier winked out a few moments later and Lawson gestured to the collar around her neck. Shepard stepped up to Lawson and examined the collar for a few moments before she nodded absently. She walked back to the AI console and picked up the stylus. Returning to Lawson, Shepard began to fiddle with the collar for a moment before it deactivated and came free. Shepard turned and walked from the room not even checking to make sure that Lawson was following her.

Joker stopped the recording then shut down the security interface on his console and looked up at Kaidan. Kaidan sighed, "How are Sergeant Patterson and his people?"

"Dr. Chakwas and Dr. T'Inga are treating them now. What are we going to do about the Captain, Commander?"

"There's no simple solution to that one," Kaidan looked around the cockpit to make sure they were alone, "and even if we could find her we don't have any chance yet of being able to restore her."

Joker's eyes widened in surprise, "But the doctors…"

"Don't even know what caused the change let alone how to reverse it," Joker looked sick and Kaidan nodded, "call the squad together, have them meet me in the new briefing room in an hour." Kaidan nodded once more to Joker before walking to the elevator to go check on the injured soldiers in the Med Bay on the Quarters deck.

Kaidan stayed in the Med Bay briefly to find out how the sergeant and his people were doing and to see if Doctor Chakwas and Doctor T'Inga knew why Shepard had woken up so suddenly. The marines were going to be fine, baring several broken bones, and were all expected to recover fully. The doctors had assured him that they did and also assured him that if Shepard were given over to their care once more it would not happen again.

With a sigh, Kaidan left the Med Bay and went back up to the CIC to contact Admiral Hackett in the recently refinished comm. room. The quantum entanglement system had been stripped out by Hackett's orders and replaced with the new standard audio visual link that every Alliance ship had. Kaidan activated the comm. and after about thirty seconds conversation, Hackett's secretary put Kaidan through to the Admiral.

Kaidan summarized what had happened with Shepard. Hackett looked… strange. His face was a bizarre mixture of white pale in surprise and flushed red with anger. When Kaidan finished talking the admiral closed his eyes briefly and breathed deeply three times before leaning forward intently to look at Kaidan once again. Hackett asked for the security videos and the doctor's notes, Kaidan sent them along the secure connection. Hackett went through them all in about fifteen minutes. During which Kaidan watched the admiral's expression closely, all the while resisting the urge to fidget with impatience.

Hackett finally looked up at Kaidan again. After a few moments of studying Kaidan's face, Hackett observed in a calm mild tone, "You want to go after her."

"Yes, sir."

Hackett watched Kaidan as he said, "You're her XO, which means you are in command of the _Normandy_ now." Hackett sat back, clearly thinking. After a moment he said, "Despite your emotional investment in the situation, I think you are the best ones to track her down. I want you to take the _Normandy_ and deal with this situation. Her crew, your crew, will do whatever it takes to get Shepard back." Hackett paused, and a slight smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he said, "Get it done, Commander, no one else can."

Kaidan wasn't the first to arrive in the briefing room, Garrus was. Kaidan regarded the turian for a moment before saying, "I meant to thank you personally for going to get Shepard."

Garrus met Kaidan's gaze squarely, and nodded, "I could have done no less. I wanted to apologize for injuring you."

Kaidan raised his eyebrows in surprise and was about to say something when Samara and Thane came in talking quietly. They sat down and looked up at Kaidan, who nodded back. Garrus sat as well. Jacob and Mordin came in next followed shortly thereafter by Jack, Tali and Grunt. All but Grunt took their seats. He stepped up to Kaidan and growled, "You are not our leader, our leader is gone and you have only recently joined us. I will lead us."

Kaidan glared at the young krogan, inside Kaidan quailed at Grunt's return glare. Kaidan knew of what Shepard had done for Grunt. Kaidan also knew that Grunt was following his krogan urge to dominate. With this in mind Kaidan stepped forward and said, "I am your battlemaster now, Urdenot Grunt, and you would do well to remember that next time you try for dominance," Kaidan stepped forward again and slammed his forehead into Grunt's.

It took all of Kaidan's willpower to keep on his feet and not throw up from absolutely the worst migraine he'd ever had. After a moment, during which an expression of surprise was rapidly replaced by a look of grudging respect for Kaidan spread across Grunt's face, Kaidan observed mildly, "You need to take your seat now." After Grunt had done so Kaidan looked around at Shepard's people, at his people.

Kaidan cleared his throat, "Most of you don't know me well. But I was with Shepard when she fought the Reapers the first time." Kaidan paused for a moment considering, "I intend to find Shepard and see her restored to who and what she is. In the next few days I'm going to be reaching out to my contacts on Illium and elsewhere and I want each of you to do the same." After a shorter pause Kaidan added, "If any of you wish take your leave of the Normandy see me in private. That is all." Kaidan then strode from the room.

_Author's Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl._

_Kassandra Black: If you read the mission summary from the Derelict Reaper in ME2 the Illusive Man says something about how the indoctrination process of the Reapers is very intriguing and should be studied further. Honestly that was where most of the inspiration for this story came from. That and wanting Shepard and Kaidan to get back together, Horizon upset me a great deal._

_CCBug: I'm glad you decided to read my story and that you were impressed enough to leave me a review. Thank you so much! I hope you continue to enjoy 'Welcome Home'. To be honest the whole subtle quiet badass thing is based off of my cousin whose in the army Rangers. The first time I played ME1 I was all like 'damn Kaidan reminds me of Taylor one hell of a lot' it was the whole quiet techie thing. Anyways, I'm going to stop rambling now…_


	16. Chapter 16 Possibilities

Later that day, Kaidan was sitting at his desk in the briefing room. After his talk to the crew he'd gone to the communications room and contacted Councilor Anderson and apprised him of the situation. Anderson was worried and angry. Kaidan had then gone to see Liara, taking Garrus and Tali with him. The Shadow Broker was within Liara's grasp and she had asked for his assistance in her final assault against him. Kaidan had agreed provided Liara join the _Normandy_ in hunting down Shepard. Liara had looked genuinely surprised that Kaidan had even asked and assured Kaidan that she'd always intended to rejoin the Shepard in her fight against the Reapers once Liara had taken down the Shadow Broker.

So now Kaidan was preparing a ground assault against the Shadow Broker's strong hold on the Salarian planet of Mannovai. He thought it made sense that the Shadow Broker would be a salarian considering their culture. That wasn't an entirely just assessment of all salarians, but Kaidan wasn't feeling particularly charitable at the moment. He was in a bad mood.

Councilor Anderson had informed him that the Turian Councilor had asked Anderson to support making Kaidan a Spectre. Obviously someone, or several someones as the case may be, with enough pull in the Turian Hierarchy was impressed by Kaidan's performance on Melba. Kaidan was not happy about the idea of becoming a Spectre, but Anderson was right when he said it would be good for the Alliance and give Kaidan more freedom of movement to find Shepard and save her from herself. So now the _Normandy_ was going to be playing host to another turian Spectre, this time a woman by the name of Primea Palrian. Hopefully she wouldn't get shot thirty minutes into their first mission together like Nihlus Kryik was.

Kaidan didn't want power, he never had. Though he certainly understood its uses, but he couldn't help but think back to what Shepard had told him about being as she put it 'damned if you do damned if you don't.' He knew Shepard didn't precisely enjoy being a Spectre. But also, that she did know its uses and had, on occasion, used her status to pull rank on certain individuals to get things done.

Liara was due to come aboard soon, followed less than an hour later by Palrian so they could all leave for the salarian world. What fun. Kaidan wanted to have his battle plan as ready as possible but with everything he had to think about he was having trouble focusing on the task at hand. Looking over the information Liara had provided, Kaidan was impressed not only with her information gathering abilities but with the asari's attention to detail. Everything was laid out before him logically and plainly. Her skill as an information broker really shouldn't have been surprise to him considering her academic background. Then Kaidan's mind skipped back to what he knew about Cerberus, they were pretty good at the intelligence gathering thing as well.

A new thought occurred to Kaidan and he considered it meticulously. Kaidan had a sneaking suspicion that in order to get Shepard back he would need to fight his way through the Cerberus ranks to the Illusive Man himself. In order to do that Kaidan would need a really good team. Which he'd already inherited from Shepard anyways, but he would need more than that; he would need an organization to rival Cerberus. That was a faintly horrible thought to Kaidan but it also had the ring of truth. He would speak to Liara about it. She had some experience in taking down powerful people and organizations.

Kaidan sat forward in his chair telling himself firmly that he needed to concentrate on the task at hand. After another ten minutes of furious study he concluded that on this mission any squad that consisted of Liara and himself needed a heavy hitter in order not to court suicide; and the heaviest of his heavy hitters was Grunt. Kaidan truly hoped his show of dominance was enough to keep the Krogan warrior from trying anything else, but Kaidan wasn't going to worry about that until it came up.

Then it dawned on Kaidan that he would have to actually bring the turian Spectre on the mission so she could observe how he worked. Feeling like a fool for not realizing that sooner, Kaidan hoped that this Spectre was as capable as Shepard. Even if the turian was only half as good as Shepard they would be in good shape for the Mannovai mission.

Kaidan was just logging off his terminal when Liara was escorted in by one of the _Normandy_'s marines. Kaidan stood to shake Liara's hand, and waved her to a seat. "Perhaps you've not heard, the _Normandy_ is going to be playing host to a turian Spectre by the name of Primea Palrian. She's going to be evaluating me for the council, they want to make me a Spectre."

Liara looked taken aback, "I knew the Turian Hierarchy was impressed by you, but I didn't realize they were that impressed. Congratulations." Kaidan sighed and shook his head; Liara noticed his misgivings, "that is if you feel you are to be congratulated."

Kaidan grinned ruefully, "I haven't decided that yet. But being a Spectre will give me unusual freedom of movement for an Alliance ship captain, and anyways I'm not a Spectre yet."

"Of course. How did your Councilor Anderson react to the whole situation?"

"He's not thrilled," that was putting it mildly. During his explanation Kaidan could have sworn he could actually _see_ Anderson's blood pressure going up. It was a credit to Anderson's political experience that he hadn't actually yelled at Kaidan nor verbally blamed Kaidan in any way for what happened to Shepard. But Kaidan could read between the lines.

Liara studied Kaidan's face for a moment before saying, "I've grown more accustomed to reading humans in the last few years," Liara stood and faced Kaidan. "I'm given to understand that you read Shepard's debriefing from her mission against the Collectors. So you know why I'm after the Shadow Broker. But once I have found out what happened to my friend and gotten my revenge, I will be in a position of great power I could be the next Shadow Broker if I choose. I had always intended to help Shepard more after but she's not exactly someone I would relish following right now."

Kaidan nodded in understanding, he felt exactly the same way, "I've been thinking along the same lines since I watched what she did to my marines," Kaidan cleared his throat but went on confidently, "I've been thinking that Shepard will likely be at this 'Illusive Man's' right hand. Which means I would have to get to him; and in order to get to him I'd need to take on Cerberus. And since Cerberus is an enemy of the Alliance, not to mention the Council, it occurred to me that while taking them on will achieve my goal, it might be more expedient for me, to say, take them _down_ instead."

Liara looked at him sharply for a moment before sitting back down, "Yes?" Liara looked like she knew perfectly well where Kaidan was going with this but she would let him ask the question himself.

"I was thinking of starting my own version of Cerberus to help me take them down. If I do that I will need an experienced operative to run my intelligence division. Someone with the contacts and expertise to ferret out every bit information on Cerberus that she can," Kaidan was watching Liara, who was in turn gazing intently at him. When she made no move to say anything he realized she must be waiting for him to actually ask her for help. Kaidan cleared his throat again and went on, "Liara, once you've taken down the Shadow Broker you will have the contacts I need to get to Shepard. Will you help me find her?"

Liara smiled grimly, "Yes, I will join you're new organization." After a moment she asked, "what are you going to call it?"

Kaidan grinned a bit manically, "I have no idea yet."

Joker came over the _Normandy_'s comm. "Commander, uh, our turian guest is here."

"Have her shown to my office, Joker." Kaidan nodded to Liara, "You're my second for this mission if that's all right. I'll still defer to you but, you know politics…"

Liara nodded grimly, "The Shadow Broker is mine, everything else is collateral."

Kaidan opened his mouth to say something but the same marines that had escorted Liara led Primea Palrian in to the room before he could. Both Kaidan and Liara stood. Primea offered her hand for Kaidan to shake, he took it without hesitation. The turian said, "It's nice to meet you at last Staff Commander Alenko. I was at your medal presentation on Palaven. I must say I was impressed and I'm looking forward to working with you."

Kaidan gave Primea the politician's smile he'd seen on Anderson's face before saying, "I don't recall meeting you Spectre Palrian. Though I have to admit I met many people that afternoon. And you may call me Kaidan if you like."

Palrian nodded and her mandibles twitched in what Kaidan took to be amusement, "And for my part I would prefer to be called Primea."

Kaidan indicated Liara, "This Dr. Liara T'Soni. She's an information broker and the reason we know where to look for the Shadow Broker. She's spent the last two years hunting him down."

Liara shook hands with the Spectre and said, "I've heard of your work against the batarian black market slavery rings in Citadel Space."

Primea looked surprised, "That's not widely known," Primea looked Liara over again, "information broker indeed. Alenko said you'd spent a good deal of time looking for this so called Shadow Broker, may I ask why?"

Liara nodded, then her face reflected anger as she said, "The Shadow Broker took a friend of mine; a man that I owe my life to. I don't even know if my friend is dead or being held somewhere. When we get to the Shadow Broker I'm going to hit him with biotic charge so strong there won't be enough of him left to fill a coffee cup."

Primea considered Liara for a moment before saying simply, "I see. You're going to be going downside with us on Mannovai then?" Liara nodded. Primea's mandibles tightened, "excellent, I look forward to working with you." She turned to Kaidan, "I'll follow you for the most part to see how you work. I have a pretty good idea from your Alliance record. But debriefings leave out the more interesting aspect of person's reactions."

Kaidan grinned wolfishly, "I see and I will perforce get to see how you work as well."

Primea chuckled, "Of course."

Kaidan grinned back, "We should get under way, Primea." Kaidan led her form the room and motioned the marine over, "show Primea to the Starboard Cargo area," Kaidan turned back to Primea, "you'll be comfortable there and it's private." Primea nodded and the ever silent marine led her to the elevator. Kaidan sighed and rubbed his forehead, "so, Liara, where would you like to sleep?"

Liara looked completely taken aback, "What?"

"You can have Portside Observation if you like. It's got a nice view."

Liara, still slightly bemused, nodded, "Alright."

"I imagine you know who most of the crew are, even if you haven't met them. I have to go talk to Joker, if you need anything talk to Yeoman Kelly Chambers she'll see that you get it." Liara nodded and Kaidan strode off towards the elevator.

When Kaidan strode from the elevator, Kelly Chambers stopped him, "Commander, there's a new message for you on your private terminal." Kaidan looked at her for a moment surprised, "Commander?" His private terminal, Shepard's private terminal, inherited from Shepard, he was going to have to get used to that. And what happened to Shepard still made his stomach turn.

Kaidan was glad that Kelly had the tact _not_ to ask if he was alright, "Nothing, thank you Kelly." Kaidan went to the terminal and pulled up all his unread messages. The first one was from Fleet Admiral Hackett, it was short and to the point. Attached to the message was everything that the Alliance had on Cerberus and the Shadow Broker. Kaidan forwarded the data packets to Liara and marked the message as read. Kaidan pulled up the next message; it had no sender ID on it, though he felt like he should recognize the IP address. As soon as he saw the heading Kaidan inhaled sharply, he felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach.

_Kay,_

_I'm sorry for this sudden turn around; but I can't fight for the Alliance when they ignore what I say and then use me as a posthumous scapegoat to explain away everything I dug up about the Reapers. I'm going back to Cerberus. I will understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore. My affections and wishes have not changed._

_Shepard_

_Author's Notes: Yet another original character this time a Spectre. Anyways Primea is the feminine of Primus. Also, since my play through as Lucille Shepard was before 'The Shadow Broker's Lair' DLC came out, I'm going to consider that it didn't happen during the mission against the Collectors but after. That is actually when I played it for this Shepard incarnation. Oh and one more thing, about the _Normandy_'s crew just to clarify: Kasumi and Zaeed are the only two crew members that left after the mission against the Collectors. They are both alive, well and still quite loyal to Shepard but choose to leave. Zaeed left right after the events of ME2 and Kasumi left on Arcturus when Shepard rejoined the Alliance._

_The last line from Shepard's note is quoted from the Knightly/Macfadyen version of __Pride and Prejudice__._

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: I was inspired by Shepard's action in the game (click the mouse button to do something Awesome indeed…)_

_CCBug: You have deepest sympathies with regards to your computer dying. Strangely enough Kaidan seems to write himself for me. I don't how but he's easy for me to channel._

_euromellows: To be honest, at first I did believe Miranda when she the Illusive Man wanted "you exactly the way you were when you defeated Sovereign". Then I read the mission summary from the Derelict Reaper. Hence my story. Also we only have Miranda's word that he said that. Not that I disbelieve her, I don't think she would lie. But I don't trust the Illusive Man or Cerberus, and he looks absolutely enragedwhen you hang up on him at the end (assuming you destroyed the Collector Base)._


	17. Chapter 17 Response

All the breath went out of Kaidan's body with a huff. He closed his eyes and forgot to breathe for a moment. The more things change the more things seem to stay the same; no matter how different Shepard was now, her desire for him remained unchanged. Kaidan felt sick, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Kaidan choked on a small nearly hysterical sob and distantly heard Yeoman Chambers ask, "Commander, are you alright?"

Kaidan, his eyes still closed, groaned, "Kelly, did you read both of these messages?"

Chambers looked worried and confused, "You only had one message; from Fleet Admiral Hackett."

Kaidan opened his eyes and gazed at her a moment, before looking back at the terminal and Shepard's message. Then it dawned on him that Shepard, as Captain of the _Normandy_, would know how to hopscotch Kelly and send her message directly to Kaidan. He was thinking about her message when he realized what it meant for security in general. Kaidan began cursing blackly in three different languages. Why hadn't he seen this before?

Kaidan ran up the CIC to the cockpit. Joker spun his chair to face Kaidan, "Commander?"

Kaidan nodded to Joker but turned to EDI, "I need you to disable all of Shepard's security overrides."

"I have already done that, Commander Alenko."

"Then how did Shepard send a message directly to my terminal without Yeoman Chambers seeing it first? Unless it wasn't _from_ Shepard…?"

EDI was silent a moment before she responded, "The message was forwarded to you from your civilian account and bears Shepard's personal omni-tool's IP address,"

Kaidan muttered a few choice words he'd picked up from the turians on Melba. Joker evidently did understand at least some of what Kaidan said looked, he mildly impressed, "Commander, we're coming up on the first relay. ETA ten minutes."

A new thought occurred to him, something he really needed to dig into. Kaidan nodded to Joker, "Thank you, Joker."

Joker answered with his usual breezy, "Later, Commander," as he spun his chair back around to face his console.

Kaidan took the elevator down to Engineering and asked Tali to come with him, telling her briefly, "I have a way you might be able to find Shepard." he'd then led Tali back to the elevator. When they arrived on deck three he led Tali to the AI Core where Legion had reclaimed his space now that Miranda was no longer in custody. Kaidan sighed and filled them both in on the situation. When he was done he said, "I need the two of you to back trace the message. And see if you can create a program to do it continuously."

"Alenko Commander?" Legion said questioningly.

"Yes, Legion?" Kaidan answered.

The pieces around Legion's eye flared, "Alenko Commander, why did Shepard Captain message you if she knew it was possible to track her through it?"

Kaidan breathed deeply trying to think of a way to explain this to the geth, "It's not logic, Legion, its emotion. She and I have an intense _emotional_ connection. Also you have to remember, this isn't something that just happened, this is something that was done to her. Shepard probably subconsciously _wants_ to be found."

Kaidan watched in some fascination as Legion processed this. The pieces around its photoreceptor were rippling up and down for several moments before it turned back to Kaidan, "I understand, Alenko Commander."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow as he glanced at Tali, who shrugged before saying, "We'll see what we can do, Kaidan."

Kaidan walked from the room and rode the elevator up to the Loft. He flopped down face first on the bed with a groan. Kaidan was sorely tempted to message Shepard back and arrange an ambush for her. But no. Betraying her was certainly not the way to get her back.

Aside from the logistical problem of facing Shepard in combat, Kaidan knew he could never fight her for real. He would be too divided in his own mind to ever stand a chance against her. There was a reason why Kaidan called her Wildcat and while he thought he was probably her equal in hand to hand, she would always have an edge over him in shear tenacity. Although Kaidan was stronger, taller and massed a good bit more than she did, Shepard was more flexible than him and faster.

Kaidan decided he would message her just to say he still cared for her. He pushed up from the bed and walked up the three stairs to the office area, carefully keeping from glancing at Shepard's private terminal as he sat down at his own. He typed a very short note.

_Wildcat,_

_No matter where your professional loyalties lie, I love you. Your choice does not make things easy for us. Both the Alliance and the Council consider Cerberus a terrorist organization. How we proceed is up to you, I will do as you wish._

_Kaidan_

Kaidan read the note over twice. Bypassing the security checks on the _Normandy_'s communications relay he sent it directly to Shepard's private civilian account. Kaidan sighed and sat back in his chair, he was walking on very thin ice by contacting her he knew, but he couldn't _not_ contact her. He sat thinking for a few minutes, rubbing his temples. Kaidan could feel a migraine coming on, stress induced likely_ 'It figures'_. Kaidan dropped his hands and looked at his terminal for a moment before pulling up the things Kelly had flagged for his attention and signature; about a dozen requisition orders for the Alliance quartermaster on Arcturus, this month's duty roster and yesterday's daily report. Kaidan got to work.

Twenty minutes later Kaidan sat back with a groan, he was done with the terminal work but his burgeoning migraine was becoming unbearable. He growled lowly as he pushed away from his desk and stood. He walked from the room into the elevator and pressed the pad for deck three.

OoOoO

Two days later the _Normandy_ was cloaked and orbiting one of the larger asteroids Mannovai's rings. Kaidan, Liara and Primea were standing outside the Kodiak shuttle making final preparations for their groundside mission when Kaidan's omni-tool buzzed quietly indicating that he had a new message. The pilot was walking towards them, Kaidan decide he would read the message after the mission was over. The Kaidan looked up at his companions, "Any last minute ideas or observations?" Liara and Primea shook their heads and Kaidan nodded, "alright, let's do this." The three of them ducked into the shuttle.

The shuttle put them down nearly two kilometers away in a suburban play park. Kaidan felt odd jogging past fathers playing with their children in full combat armor with weapons strapped his back and hip. The three of them drew stares as they trotted past the carefree civilians until they passed out of the park and into the woods surrounding it.

When they approached the edge of their target property they slowed to a walk. Kaidan stepped forward and activated his omni-tool. He began the delicate dance of hacking into the extremely complex outer wall and grounds security. The system was multifaceted enough that all Kaidan succeed in doing was creating a forty five second window for the three of them to get from the edge of the compound into the garage. With a count down from three he activated the security window and the three of them sprinted for all they were worth.

When the three of them were five meters from the entrance, Kaidan hit a button to send the signal to open the garage door. As they'd planned, Liara and Primea ran through the door first followed shortly by Kaidan. He shut the door as Liara and Primea neutralized the three men working on the vehicles in the garage. Kaidan ran to the terminal by the door that led to the rest of the base and began hacking into the internal security system. As he was doing that Primea and Liara swept the garage for anyone they might have missed. The internal system was not all that different from the external system, but thankfully it was slightly less complicated.

Kaidan was glad that he'd had the practice with the outer system. Several minutes later he had managed to get into the system through a back door and set up an administrative account for himself. He looked up and nodded to the other two, "Let's go."

Kaidan pulled out his pistol and the three of them jogged rapidly through the hallways to the Computer Core and Power Plant. When they reached the door Kaidan opened it and the three of them promptly began shooting.

Of the seven people in Computer Core, six died before they could even arm themselves. The seventh ducked behind a console and Kaidan killed him with a well aimed shot at a canister of cryo-fluid. Kaidan, smiling grimly, signed onto the main computer with his administrative account. In moments he was deep inside the security network and systematically shutting every single blast door and exit, even over riding fire control to block the emergency exits so no one could leave. After locking the system so that no one could end the lock down, which he figured would delay everyone else for three hours or so, Kaidan had the computer spit out a complete personnel roster of the base.

That done, Kaidan dove into the under layer of the system information and began looking for information on the system administrator, "Liara, is the Tyform Shipping Syndicate a front for the Shadow Broker?"

Liara ran up as Primea jogged into the Power Plant to make sure it was clear as well, "No, it's a front for the Blue Suns," Liara answered.

Kaidan nodded slowly, "Looks like Contingency Plan Blue is in effect." Liara nodded; Primea came back into the room soon enough to catch what Kaidan had said and nodded as well. While planning the mission they had come up with several back-up plans in case they were being ring led by the Shadow Broker into attacking one of his enemies. In this case, since the company they were attacking was a front for the Blue Suns, they would download all the information they could from the system, abolish all traces of the data theft then steal something else to cover their tracks and leave.

After copying all the Blue Suns' files onto an OSD, Kaidan began looking at inventory lists to see what was actually on the base. He was trying to find something worth stealing from the Blue Suns to further cover their information theft. He found lab records for regeneration implants that looked like it would fit the bill perfectly and actually be useful to the _Normandy_ and the Alliance. That found, he wiped all evidence of his deeper system incursions and made it look like he'd only been after information about the implants.

Kaidan logged out and headed towards the door, "This way."

They met only a one squad of security guards on their way to the laboratories. After a fire fight that lasted maybe a ten minutes in all. The six mercenaries were actually somewhat competent but when the skirmish was over, they lay dead on the floor. Kaidan, Liara and Primea trotted on down the hall and took a left then they were in the lab wing. Kaidan opened the correct door and swung into the room quickly glowing with dark energy and panning the room with his pistol. There were two scientists in the room; they both froze for a beat before throwing their hands up, one of the men dropped the tool that he was holding in his haste, it fell to the floor with a clatter that was nearly deafening in the absolute silence that pervaded the room.

Kaidan smiled with wolfish menace at them before gesturing with his pistol to a couple of lab chairs. The two men sat without a word, too scared to do anything else. Kaidan holstered his pistol but didn't suppress the dark energy that had gathered around his body, "Watch them," he said to Liara and began to rummage around the lab to find something to tie the two men up with. In a drawer with wire and light cotton string, he found some thick white rope. With a half smile he took it and walked back to Liara. He held the rope out to her, which she took, and drew his pistol again to cover her as she tied the scientists up. When she was done he left her to cover them as he and Primea began to pack up what they were going to steal.

_Author's Notes: I know in the games you don't ever have to worry about paper work, but really you don't do a whole lot of Captainly things. And I suppose that BioWare didn't think that Logistics and Supply (or planning and paper work) was very interesting, and it's not really, but both are necessary evil._

_Many thanks to my beta Wyl!_

_euromellows: ::evil laugh:: all shall reveal itself in time…_

_Kassandra Black: I think nearly everyone would love to see a female turian at this point. Honestly, it was just a whim to make the Spectre female._

_Jason Kreuger Myers: In the game Miranda defended the things that Shepard found out about Cerberus in the first game. So yeah, I think she is that blind. And on the Illusive Man yeah he's trying to salve his wounded pride with this power trip. He brought Shepard back so now he thinks he owns her. Also, you'll just have to wait and see what's really going on with Shepard. ::evil smirk::_


	18. Chapter 18 Struggle

An hour later, their post mission debriefing with all of the _Normandy_'s downside combat squad members was winding down.

Garrus, who hadn't said anything to this point, leaned forward. "I have a suggestion, Kaidan, if I may." Kaidan nodded for Garrus to go on, "Zaeed Massani was one of the founders of the Blue Suns and he's been looking for revenge against Vido Santiago."

Kaidan nodded again, "Your point?"

"If you forward him the information you got from the Suns' base, he would owe us a favor."

Jacob, without any true dislike or malice in his voice, commented, "Zaeed Massani is just a gun for hire."

Garrus snorted ironically, "Maybe so, but he's a damned good gun for hire."

Kaidan looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded slowly, "I'll take that under advisement." Kaidan paused for a moment looking around at them all, "anyone have anything else to add?"

Samara spoke up, "These regeneration implants that you stole from the Blue Suns; are they anything like the implants that Cerberus used on Shepard?"

"We don't know yet. Dr. Chakwas is studying the implants themselves and EDI is going through the data we took from the Computer Core trying to answer that question as we speak." Samara nodded in understanding. Kaidan asked again, "is there anything else?" this time the room was silent. Kaidan waited a moment longer, "Liara, please stay, the rest of you are dismissed."

After everyone had filed out, Kaidan looked at Liara, "What exactly are your plans now?"

"I've been considering my options. I thought about returning to Illium." Liara said and Kaidan nodded, waiting for her to continue. "When Shepard asked me to join her against the Collectors, I refused. Not because I wanted to but because I thought I couldn't continue my work against the Shadow Broker while aboard the _Normandy_. The mission we just completed has forced me to reassess my opinion. I will stay on the _Normandy_, if you still want me."

Kaidan nodded, "And if anything comes up with respect to the Shadow Broker, let me know and I'll see what can be done." Liara smiled thinly at him then nodded, and left the briefing room. Kaidan sat at his desk and pulled up the message he'd received just before the mission on Mannovai. It was from Admiral Hackett with another data packet about Cerberus. Half of the data seemed to have been compiled from the Cerberus system itself, the other half were briefs from prisoner interrogations.

The Alliance had gotten an untraceable tip on a Cerberus operation against an Alliance research lab. During the counterattack the Alliance Marines had captured eleven operatives and killed nine more, meaning that none of the Cerberus people had made it home to complain. The full interrogations were not yet complete and more information was pending.

OoOoO

Shepard sat back in her chair. Bursts of clarity were coming more often this week than her first week after she'd left the _Normandy _and were lasting longer then than they had been. The changes back to her old self had fallen into a pattern. The times when she reverted into who she had been were difficult and painful but immensely satisfying; particularly when she managed to mess up some of Cerberus's plans. Shepard hissed in pain, she could feel the mental change back to being a Cerberus dog coming on again. She sat forward and began burying the files she'd pulled up; she didn't have much time left. When she was finished caching everything she'd dug up inside the under layer of the Cerberus system, Shepard wiped out her user log history. She then shut the terminal down with a sigh; the pain in her head was getting unbearable. She rose and changed into her sleep clothes and went to lie down on her bed to wait for the change.

OoOoO

The Illusive Man sat in his chair reading reports, when Miranda came up behind him and set a datapad on his chair arm, "A full report on Cerberus's losses on the mission against the Alliance lab."

The Illusive Man picked up the datapad and skimmed the report, "This is disturbing," he said and sat back in his chair looking up at Miranda.

"It's possible someone slipped."

The Illusive Man looked at her for a moment longer before turning back to the other reports he'd been reading. When he was finished with those he picked up the datapad again, reading the report through slower this time assimilating everything, before he looking up and holding Miranda's gaze, "The only people who knew about this mission are either dead, captured or in this room."

Miranda met his eyes squarely and without flinching, "Officially, that's true; which is why I'm suggesting that someone slipped."

The Illusive Man regarded her for a moment longer before nodding, satisfied, "I want to put Shepard on this personally. I want that multi-fission technology. The Alliance isn't capable of exploiting it to its full potential." Miranda nodded and left to get Shepard as the Illusive Man pulled up another report, and began reading.

When Miranda was out of the Illusive Man's office she heaved a very put upon sigh. She missed the trust that Illusive Man had once held in her, but Miranda would earn it back in time. Being right about how Shepard would react to the indoctrination process had certainly helped, but Miranda was not back up to the level she'd been at before the mission with Shepard against the Collectors.

As Miranda walked down the hall she began thinking about the leak that precipitated the failed mission against the Alliance. Perhaps Miranda would bring Shepard in on that one as well, she had the necessary skills to be good at counter-intelligence. Miranda had missed working with Shepard before Shepard had rejoined Cerberus. Miranda found this odd but it was true, Shepard was an excellent officer. She was just the sort of person that inspired loyalty in her people. One of the hardest decisions Miranda had ever made was to leave Shepard's service and stay with Cerberus.

She came up to Shepard's door and pressed the chime button. After a moment the door opened. Shepard stood there, her waist length red hair tousled, wearing hotpants and a tank top, both black. When Shepard just stood there yawning and watching Miranda, she realized that Shepard was waiting for Miranda to say something. She cleared her throat, "The Illusive Man wants to see you." Shepard nodded, yawning then stretched; her tank top rode up enough to reveal the elaborate line tattoo across her abdomen and circling her naval.

"Right; alright, thanks," Shepard replied.

Miranda nodded and turned away, smiling to herself; Shepard's personality was only slightly different, she was a bit more ruthless now than before the change, but other than that only Shepard's loyalties had changed. Which meant that Cerberus had won a powerful and magnetically charismatic leader; Miranda began to wonder if they could do the same for other Alliance heroes.

OoOoO

Kaidan was reading through the Cerberus data package when he began to notice a pattern. The data from the Cerberus spy was laid out in a logical pattern, in fact the information was organized exactly how he would have done so himself. He was distracted from these musings by the cluster of files under the heading _Normandy_. Not that he should have been surprised, but there were dossiers on every crewman including himself. With morbid curiosity Kaidan pulled his own file up. Inside was a copy of his official Alliance record at least all of least the classified parts. Ironically, Kaidan grinned.

The briefing room door opened to reveal Jack. Kaidan's face went blank as he watched her. Of Shepard's ragtag bunch of misfits, Jack was the least comprehensible to Kaidan. He'd consequently kept his dealings with her to a minimum, "Yes, Jack?"

Jack looked almost uncomfortable, which was strange, according to everything he'd read and heard about her, indicated to him that she was almost never unsure of herself. Jack was holding a datapad, "Fucking Cerberus Cheerleader, Shepard's the only person whose ever done right by me and that bitch brainwashed her." with that the woman handed the datapad to Kaidan.

Kaidan took the datapad from her, "Thank you, Jack." he read the first few lines on the datapad, it was a manifest from the _MSV_ _Beijing_. Apparently, Shepard and Miranda, traveling under the names of Jane and Joan Lawson, had taken the freighter to the Hades Gamma Quadrant system of Farinata and left with a privately owned ship. Kaidan looked up at Jack sharply, "how did you get this? _Where_ did you get this?" after an appraising look Kaidan added, "I suppose I should have said 'who did you shake down to get this?'"

Jack just looked at him for a moment. Kaidan half smiled, "Right, sorry Jack, forget I asked. Thank you for the information. I see about getting what we can get on the ship that Shepard and Lawson left on."

Jack glared at him for a moment, Kaidan just gazed calmly back at her until she muttered, "Fuck it!" and turned and strode from the room. Kaidan blinked and watched the door a moment longer before rubbing his forehead. After a moment he shook his head and focused on Jack's datapad again. In addition to the information about the _Beijing_, there were several files about Shepard's and Lawson's short stay on Illium; including the names of the two Cerberus agents in the city of Port Amoenus.

Kaidan activated his personal comm. and contacted Joker, "Joker, Status report."

"We're two relays out from the Citadel, Commander. ETA seven hours."

"Thank you, we're not going to being on the station for more than an hour. Then, barring any new information, we're heading to Illium, Port Amoenus." Kaidan said and then closed the channel. Kaidan pushed away from his desk with a sigh, he needed to speak to Primea before they got to the Citadel.

Finding the turian Spectre was not difficult. She was sitting with Garrus in the mess area. Kaidan watched the two for several moments before he cleared his throat. Both of them looked up and Garrus's mandibles opened wide in a turian smile, "Commander, we were just reminiscing."

"Reminiscing?" Kaidan asked as he slid onto the bench next to Garrus.

Primea nodded, "We were stationed on the dreadnaught _Regulus_ together."

Kaidan considered their faces for a moment before asking diffidently, "Were you a recon scout at the time, Primea?"

Primea nodded as Garrus's mandible tightened against his face in evident embarrassment and he choked, "She told you that?"

Kaidan nodded and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, not that he really tried. Primea looked from Garrus's face to Kaidan's and her mandibles tightened against her face for a moment before loosening into a turian grin, "Who is this that you told Garrus? Because I said nothing."

Garrus turned to Primea, meeting her eyes squarely, "I told Shepard about you."

"I see," she looked at Garrus for moment before asking, "may I ask why?"

Garrus looking even more uncomfortable never the answered calmly, "I was comparing human pre-battle customs with turian ones."

Primea's mandibles twitched, opening even wider, as she took in Garrus's general embarrassment before she turned to Kaidan, "Alenko?"

Kaidan chuckled, quite unhelpfully, and answered the implied question, "It's true; according to Shepard you two were the top rated ground combat specialists at the time. That you went nine round before the moderator declared the match a tie. After which the two of you went back to your quarters for a tenth round. According to Shepard, Garrus said and I quote," Kaidan cleared his throat, "'I had reach but she had flexibility.'"

Primea laughed and Kaidan laughed with her, after a moment Garrus joined them. After several moments Kaidan put the datapad on the table and slid it to the turian Spectre. She read it briefly before passing it off to Garrus who was clearly curious, "Where did you get this information? And so quickly?" she was clearly surprised.

Kaidan shook his head, "Jack, of all people, handed it to me a few minutes ago."

"Jack?" Garrus was surprised as well. Kaidan nodded again.

Primea glanced at the data once more before looking up at Kaidan again, "Another thing to add to list of things for my staff to look into."

Kaidan nodded and took his leave; the main reason the _Normandy_ was going to the Citadel was so that Primea could mobilize her staff. She was going to have them dig into both the Cerberus situation and the Shadow Broker one. Considering Primea's Spectre status, she had plenty of strings to pull.

Kaidan wondered if he would be a made a Spectre after just one mission or whether he would be working with Primea longer. Though perhaps, considering her relationship with Garrus, Primea would stick around even after Kaidan was made a Spectre. Kaidan shook his head, he really wouldn't mind either way so he wouldn't say anything to either of them; or at least not to Primea. Kaidan would have to rib Garrus if that relationship flared up again. Kaidan could just imagine what he would say to Garrus, sometimes Kaidan's exposure to Joker paid off in spades; this was one of those times.

The other reason for going to the Citadel was to drop off Dr. T'Inga and her daughter. Before the _Normandy_ had left Illium Hara T'Inga had come to Kaidan and asked if he would take her to the Citadel. After some prompting the doctor had told Kaidan that she was under pressure from the local 'servant' traders to treat their abused indentured servants and keep quiet about it. Not knowing what to do at the time, Hara had agreed but with the help of Kaidan and the _Normandy_ the doctor had decided that it would be easy for her to relocate herself and her daughter to a safer place. Considering Dr. T'Inga's former situation and how much help she'd been, Kaidan made a mental note to ask Anderson if he would help the doctor get a start on the Citadel.

Kaidan stood outside the briefing room door for a moment before deciding to work out of the Loft for the rest of his duty day.

_Author's Note: The name of the port city on Illium is the Latin word used to describe a beautiful landscape; I figured that using Latin would fit considering "Illium" is the Latin name for Troy._

_I swear the name of Primea and Garrus's former ship was _not_ supposed to be a Harry Potter reference! I didn't even remember that Sirius's brother's name was Regulus until I read the chapter over. I was just going through my Latin dictionary for a suitable name for a turian ship and I found the Latin word for king and it seemed so right…_

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: I personally get annoyed by all the fanfics that show as weaker or less capable then Shepard. For some reason writers seems to think that if Shepard is a strong female then by default Kaidan must be a weak male. The stronger both people in the relationship are the better the relationship is. Or at least it seems to me. Yes paperwork is dull but it is, alas, a necessary evil of command._

_CCBug: I'm glad you like my story so much! Did you enjoy the mental wrestling that Shepard went through in this chapter? _


	19. Chapter 19 Reports

When they got to the Citadel, Kaidan, Liara and Garrus took Dr. T'Inga and her daughter with them to Councilor Anderson's office while Primea went to set her people in motion. Anderson readily agreed to help the pair anyway he could and after taking his aide aside for a brief talk, he sent the T'Ingas off with Donnel Udina.

Once the others were gone Anderson turned to Kaidan and smiled, "Your first evaluation mission went a lot better than Shepard's; or mine for that matter."

Kaidan smiled back and nodded, "Mannovai went far better than even I could have hoped."

Garrus nodded as well, his mandibles opening in a broad turian grin. Liara smiled serenely and commented, "Considering that Nihlus Kryik was shot in the back by Saren Arterius; the same man who framed you for slaughtering all those people on Camala, I would certainly agree."

Anderson looked meditative as he appraised Liara for a moment before saying, "I'm glad you're on our side Dr. T'Soni."

Garrus and Kaidan both nodded in sympathy, while Liara gave Anderson an edged smile, "I serve the Alliance only in so far as I followed Captain Shepard and now I assist Commander Alenko, the difference is subtle but distinct."

Anderson gazed at Liara a moment longer before he nodded and with respect in his voice he observed, "Shepard and Alenko are two of the finest officers I ever had the privilege to serve with and in some ways, in a lot of ways, they are two of the best people I've ever known. You chose your loyalties well Dr. T'Soni."

Liara gazed at Anderson for a moment then in a meditative tone she asked, "What does it say about you that both of them were handpicked and mentored by you?"

Kaidan blinked in surprised. That had never occurred to him, but Liara raised a good point, Anderson _had_ handpicked Shepard and Kaidan. In addition to everything else they'd accomplished, Shepard was the first human Spectre and Kaidan seemed to be well on his way to becoming the second. Anderson himself had once been considered for the Spectres and was only denied the rank because of the events that Liara had mentioned. On top of all that, Anderson was also the best Councilor humanity could ask for and would go down in history as humanity's first representative on the Citadel Council.

Kaidan had never doubted that Anderson was a hero. Now Kaidan realized Anderson was far more than that, he fostered not just humanity's, but the galaxy's next generation of heroes. Before he was forced to retire from the Alliance, Anderson was a damned fine soldier and one of the two best commanding officers that Kaidan had ever had. Anderson was an excellent mentor and he had an eye for talent. Not only did he teach his people how to survive and thrive in the deeply dangerous life of an Alliance marine, he also showed them how to mentor others to do the same.

Kaidan looked over at Anderson where he stood with Liara near the back of his office, overlooking the Presidium. The two were quietly talking about Mannovai. When they looked over at him, Kaidan caught the tail end of Anderson's sentence, "…get a reputation for subtlety. Which will balance out Shepard's reputation for making things explode."

Kaidan snorted in amusement. Shepard was right, she was never going to live Virmire down. Inevitably Kaidan felt his mood darken as he considered the implications of what Cerberus had done to her. Something in his expression must have reflected his thoughts because Garrus commented, "Shepard does have a reputation for causing large explosions."

Kaidan nodded as he turned to face Garrus, "Yes, she said something about that before. Privately she's fairly annoyed that _she's_ the one who gets the reputation considering that the nuclear device was _Kirrahe's _idea. Professionally, of course, she uses the infamy to great effect."

Garrus's mandibles widened in a smile, "You're forgetting about Therum, Kaidan."

Kaidan managed a small smile, "Point of fact that was _your_ idea Garrus."

Garrus still smiling, asked, "And Feros?"

"What about Feros?" Kaidan said, looking confused.

"Shepard blew up a geth ship there and destroyed the Thorian."

Kaidan snorted in amusement, "It wasn't exactly like she used _explosives_ to do any of those."

Garrus laughed, "But they did, you know, _explode_," Garrus thought for a moment then added, "and on Noveria, in the hot labs. She had the VI set off a neutron purge to kill all the rogue rachni."

"She didn't actually have much of choice in that one."

Garrus shook his head, "I didn't say she did, but the point remains." after studying Kaidan's face for several moments Garrus added slowly, "we will find her, Kaidan."

Kaidan focused on Garrus again, "I know that." Garrus just watched him, not saying anything. Kaidan knew Garrus wouldn't ask what was wrong. Despite the fact that they were friends, Kaidan was Garrus's commanding officer now. It had to be a subconscious reflex, because Garrus certainly had no problem _arguing_ with his superiors. Or perhaps that was just Executor Pallin Garrus didn't mind arguing with, because he certainly hadn't argue with Shepard as far as Kaidan had seen. Come to think of it Garrus also hadn't argued with Kaidan since he'd taken over the _Normandy_.

"It's not getting her back that's bothering me," Kaidan paused considering a moment before going on, "well I am, but not in the way you mean. I know we'll get her back _physically_, at least eventually. I was thinking about what Cerberus did to her mentally. They mind raped her in a way that we may not be able to save her from."

Garrus's mandibles tightened against his face with an audible click, and he growled, "I hadn't thought of it that way." Kaidan studied Garrus's face for a moment, before nodding in perfect understanding. Garrus put a hand on Kaidan's shoulder, "we'll get the Illusive Man for what he's done to Shepard."

"Not just the Illusive Man, I'm going to take Cerberus out."

"What?" Kaidan's head snapped up and he turned to look at Anderson where he still stood with Liara.

"I said 'I'm going to take Cerberus out.'"

Anderson watched Kaidan's face for a full minute before he commented drily, "I could order you not to, but I don't imagine that it would do any good."

Kaidan's answering grin was like the gleam off a knife blade, "No, it wouldn't."

Anderson appraised that smile for a moment, before he shook his head slightly. Not in disapproval but in resignation, if Kaidan read him right. Kaidan asked, "How many people know what was done to Shepard?"

Anderson raised his eyebrows, "Why?"

"I'm going to use that, among other things, as my reason for going after them."

Anderson nodded in understanding, "I can see that it gets leaked, unofficially."

Kaidan blinked, surprised, "Why?"

"The council as body is highly intolerant of interference with its agents. They are highly annoyed at Cerberus at the moment for their violation of Shepard. Even my turian counterpart knows that you will bring Shepard back," Anderson paused for a moment looking thoughtful, "even if you have to walk through hell to find her and bring her home again." Kaidan's eyes narrowed and he looked at Anderson. Something about that rang a bell in Kaidan's memory. Kaidan shook his head, whatever it was he would remember eventually.

The door opened behind him and Kaidan turned to face Primea. Her mandibles were open in a turian smile until she took in the tension in the room and they snapped closed, "Councilor?"

Anderson nodded to her, "Everything's fine Palrian. We were discussing compulsions," Kaidan blanched visibly, but did not gainsay this. Anderson cleared his throat and glanced at Primea, who, taking the hint stepped out of earshot. Anderson lowered his voice and just to be sure, he turned his back on the turian Spectre before pulling an OSD out of his pocket and handing it to Kaidan, "complements of Admiral Kryllin."

Kaidan blinked, momentarily confused, "How did he come to give this to you?"

"He was here as an official representative of the Turian Hierarchy to report to the Council about your mission on Melba and officially recommend you for Spectre while you were heading to Illium. He went out of his way to be discreet when he handed this to me. Apparently, one or two of his superiors don't think the two of you should be swapping information about a _turian_ patrol mission, particularly one that went so horribly wrong."

With a half-smile Kaidan chuckled ironically, "Never mind that we're the only reason any of the turians made it home to complain about _human interference_," Kaidan's tone of voice clearly made the words a euphemism for a much uglier phrase, "in a turian patrol."

Anderson grinned ironically as well, "I got a similar backhanded thank you from my turian counterpart on the council."

Kaidan had also done what he could on the three questions still remaining about the rescue mission on Melba. The question about how the Kaidan had been able to follow the turian distress beacon to their camp was fairly straight forward. It was a matter of improperly applied adaptation of stolen technology. The batarians had captured the geth jamming technology and then hadn't been tech savvy enough to use it right. In plain English, the batrians hadn't been able to cover the entire comm. spectrum with their pirated jammers because they didn't know how to install and use them properly.

According to Liara and two of Kaidan's contacts the batarians attacked the turian patrol with the objective of capturing the ships as well as their weapons caches. One of his contacts, the one from Omega, had linked Balak with the batarians downside forces via the shuttle's serial number. Apparently the same shuttle was recorded landing on Asteroid X57 before the facility's security cameras were destroyed. Even thought the shuttles were the same that didn't mean Balak was personally involved though it was a strong indicator since Kaidan's contact hadn't been able to find any evidence that the shuttle had changed hands. So it looked like the shuttle's presence could be an indication that Balak's organization was involved, which was slightly disturbing to Kaidan.

The Batarian Liberation Front, as they called themselves, was something like the batarian equivalent of Cerberus. Both groups were single species supremacy organizations viewed as terrorist group by the Citadel Council and both were, more or less, operated as terrorist organizations; meaning that both groups had several "cells" and were run by one person. Knowing what he did about the BLF, Kaidan could make an educated guess about why the batarians on Melba had expended so much energy and resources fighting the survivors of the space battle. They wanted to punish the turians for what happened to the batarians when humanity had so aggressively colonized the Skyllian Verge.

"In between everything else that's been going on I had my people put this report together. It's a bit preliminary, but I've had a busy couple of weeks." Kaidan activated his omni-tool and had it spit out an OSD of the reports he'd gotten about the questions about the mission on Melba from Tali, Legion, Liara and a few of his contacts on the Citadel and elsewhere.

Anderson took the OSD and tucked it into a pocket, "I'll see that Admiral Kryllin gets this," he said as he turned to face Primea, "I'm sorry for that, Alliance business."

Primea nodded in understanding, "Yes sir, I understand."

Kaidan thought for a moment, going through his mental checklist, before looking at Anderson again, "I was given to understand that the Alliance has an asset in play with in Cerberus now. Is that because of what Cerberus did to Shepard or is in response to what I'm planning on doing now?"

Anderson shook his head, "Neither actually; nobody in the Alliance even knows the Cerberus operative's _name_. In lieu of a name Hackett's counter intelligence staff has dubbed their new Cerberus source 'Watchdog.' Whoever this asset is, the Alliance didn't recruit them or put them in play."

Kaidan's eyes widened in surprise, "Whoever this is, is helping the Alliance out of _altruism_?"

Anderson smiled slightly, "So it would seem."

Garrus shook his head, "If they were that altruistic, why join an organization like Cerberus in the first place?"

Liara looked surprised that Garrus didn't understand, "Patriotism."

"Then why turn on them?"

Kaidan chimed in, "They likely saw something or were asked to do something that they found morally reprehensible." Kaidan checked the time on his omni-tool, "we should be heading out, sir, if there's nothing else?"

Anderson shook his head, "No, there's nothing. Good luck, all of you," Anderson shook Garrus and Liara's hand before showing the four of them out of his office.

OoOoO

Shepard had spent last several hours with the Illusive Man, planning a strike against one of the Alliance's secure research and development labs on Titan. When she went through the change this time she'd almost cackled with glee. While the prospect of having to lead in a squad and shoot up and Alliance facility, and possibly Alliance personnel made her want to throw-up, Shepard knew that if she warned the Alliance again they would take steps to stop Cerberus again. Shepard knew _exactly _how she was going to recommend that the Alliance subvert such an attack.

_Author's Notes: I paraphrased the Vorkosigan Series several times in this chapter._

_I am so sorry I was sick all last week and recovering this week. Anyways, many thanks to my wonderful beta Wyl!_

_Kassandra Black: I hope you aren't disappointed by her part in this chapter!_

_Prism Elf: Thank you so much for your kind review, I'm glad you like my story! He always seemed to lack spine in the first game then in the second he blows up at you. I almost cried, though I managed to get through the conversation without him yelling at me too much the second time. And trials make for more interesting stories._


	20. Chapter 20 Sans Resistance

After the _Normandy_ left the Citadel heading for Illium, Kaidan sat at his private terminal. He was switching back and forth between reading his private messages and reading Alliance reports. The last of the reports was another forwarded message from the 'Watch Dog.' There was a message attached stating that the Watch Dog was personally leading the follow up raid against the Alliance lab on Titan. The Commander was highly amused at how the Watch Dog suggested dealing with the situation. After reading the attached files he shut down the terminal and stood up stretching. They would be arriving at Illium in fourteen hours and Kaidan needed to get some sleep before he dropped. He didn't even bother to change, he just face planted on the bed and within moments fell into a dreamless sleep.

When Kaidan woke up he rolled over with a groan. He stared at the ceiling of the Loft for a moment idly wondering why there were no windows in the Captain's Cabin. He sighed and sat up running, his fingers though his hair. He knew he should stop doing it, but he had trouble sleeping without Shepard in his arms. Then there were the nightmares. Consequently, He avoided sleeping until he was so exhausted that he didn't remember his dreams. He considered himself lucky that he was not one of those people who got bleary from lack of sleep or groggy from sleeping more than nine hours. He turned his head to look at his stereo. He'd slept just over twelve hours.

Kaidan, resisting the sin of sloth, climbed out of bed and went to take quick shower. When he was done he commed Kelly to see if anything needed his immediate attention; nothing did. Warily He sighed, sitting down he did Captainly terminal work for half an hour. The Commander thought back to the Alliance recruitment officer back on Earth. Join the Alliance marines and see the galaxy, visit new worlds and meet new people. He wondered why no one ever mentioned the terminal work. Probably because it wasn't heroic enough or perhaps it sounded too boring.

When he was done, Kaidan left the Loft and took the elevator to the mess hall. When he rounded the corner, he froze in surprise, Jack was sitting at the table conversing quite normally with Liara and Tali about their respective homes. After a moment Kaidan realized that he was standing there like an idiot. After making sure his expression wasn't mirroring the surprise he still felt, Kaidan walked the rest of the way into the mess area and went to get his food from Rupert. When he moved to sit at a different table from the three women not wanting to interrupt their conversation, Liara looked up and said, "Why don't you join us Kaidan?"

Kaidan, after assessing Jack face and Tali's body language, nodded and sat next to Liara across from Jack and Tali, "I didn't want to interrupt."

"Shit! You need to learn how to relax Soldier-Boy, I could help you with that," Jack said leaning towards Kaidan.

Kaidan met her eyes squarely, all the while thinking _'Dear God, the psychopath is hitting on me!'_ He couldn't say that out loud, so instead he stretched casually and said, "That's very generous of you Jack but I'm feeling quite relaxed at the moment, thanks." Jack sat back with an odd expression on her face, not anger, but relief mixed with disappointment. He wondered what that was all about but decided not to ask.

"Kaidan, we were talking about our home worlds. Where did you grow up?" Liara asked.

"I was born and raised on Earth. In Vancouver, in North America," Kaidan answered, "what about you Liara?"

"Thessia in Armali," Liara answered.

"What about you Jack?"

"Lowell City," Jack answered shortly.

"Mars?" Kaidan asked, and Jack nodded.

Kaidan was curious but wasn't sure he had the right to ask. He scrutinized her face while Tali launched into a story about two of her girlfriends and herself playing a practical joke on four of their male counterparts for some cruelly teasing remarks made to all three of the girls. The story culminated in all seven of the young quarians spending two months on cleaning duty for an escalating prank war that had ended up trashing the _Rayya_'s mess hall. He laughed with the rest of them. The three women turned to face Kaidan, "What?" he asked.

"It's your turn Kaidan," Tali said.

Kaidan groaned, "I didn't realize that in sitting with you three I was agreeing to share an embarrassing story about my childhood."

"It doesn't necessarily have to be embarrassing, just amusing," Liara put in.

Kaidan looked at Liara, Tali then at Jack. All three women watched him expectantly. He sighed, "All right." His eyes narrowed and he sat back in his chair thinking. "I was trail riding, horses with my cousin Heath." Kaidan flicked a sideways glance at the two non-humans at the table before adding, "horses livestock animals and were once used as beasts of burden on Earth. They're mostly used for pleasure ridding now, though."

When Liara and Tali nodded in understanding, he continued his story, "the two of us would pack enough gear for days or even weeks during the summer. He's a bit over four years older, but we've always been like brothers. There were always hunters out in the wilderness; we wore these bright orange reflective vests to keep from getting shot. Anyways, when I was ten, a couple months before the guys from BAat came for me, the two of us were riding on a mountain pass; very steep, along a cliff's edge. We were playing around joking and teasing each other, when a shotgun went off, not aimed at us of course but it was close enough to scare our horses. Well Heath wasn't as good at riding as me and he got dumped in the dirt. Which wouldn't have been much of a problem, except he fell towards the cliff edge," He shook his head.

Kaidan took a sip of his orange juice before continuing, "After my horse stopped trying to buck me off, I ran over to him and grabbed his arms. He was looking up at me. I was this scrawny little ten year old kid and he nearly fifteen. There was no way I was going to be able to pull him up. Fortunately for him it didn't matter, when I looked down all I saw was open air. Anyways when I grabbed him I start sliding over the edge. We're both terrified, and he tells me to let go that if I don't we'll both fall over. After a couple of frantic moments that's exactly what happens. I slide forward and we both go over."

"I started to scream and wham! We land on this little ledge. We look at each other for like a minute then we both burst out laughing. When we could finally look each other in the face without laughing we start trying to climb back up to where horses were. It took us forever, we kept sliding back down. Then when we finally got back up to the trail it starts raining. We decided to make camp where we were. By the time we were done with dinner the ground was mud; slippery you know. Well when Heath and I were getting ready to go to sleep, I stepped on a rock or something and fell right into Heath. We both skidded off the edge of the trail again, right back onto that same ledge; only this time we were covered in mud and it was still raining. We tried getting back up to our camp again for what must have been like an hour, it was just too wet. We slept on that stupid ledge all night covered in mud."

Tali and Liara, who had been giggling periodically laughed at this last bit. Jack meanwhile commented idly, "Two guys mud wrestling; fuck yeah!"

Kaidan snorted in amusement, and began eating. Liara launched into an amusing story about a colorful butterfly on her pillow when she was the human equivalent of ten. The story centered on the event that led to Liara getting nicknamed 'Little Wing' by Benezia. The Commander sighed and sat back in his chair he checked the time on his omni-tool. Forty-five minutes until they got to Port Amoenus on Illium. He stood up, said "Tali, I need you in Port Amoenus, get suited up," turning to Jack and Liara he said a polite, "ladies," to the other two and went to hand Rupert his empty tray.

Kaidan walked into the Med Bay and greeted Dr. Chakwas briefly. Afterwards he strode into to the AI Core. Legion was talking quietly to himself and working on a private terminal. Legion looked up at He as the door slid shut behind him, "Alenko Commander?"

"I need you on the mission in Port Amoenus, get," Kaidan paused, he'd been about to say 'suited up' but Legion didn't need to do so, "ready," he finished succinctly.

"Alenko Commander?"

"Yes, Legion?"

"Will this unit be working with Tali Creator?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"We find working with Tali Creator very agreeable. Will Alenko Commander be helping with the decryption work on the mission?"

"We'll see when we get there," Kaidan turned to leave then remembered something, "the work the two of you have been doing on tracking program looks good so far, keep going in the same direction and you might have something soon."

The pieces around Legion's eye flared, "Thank you Alenko Commander."

Kaidan nodded and left. He took the elevator back up to the Loft and pulled on his N-7 armor. Kaidan stretched and rolled his shoulders, making sure his armor was working properly before strapping his weapons to his back and hip. As he passed the Loft's office area he glanced at the picture frame on the desk. He paused and stepped towards the motion activated frame. It flickered to life; the picture was one of him and Shepard on Arcturus. It was taken on the night after his medal ceremony, when they'd gone out for dinner. The Commander growled, he really needed to stop doing this to himself particularly before missions. Shepard was alive and she was going to be alright. As he walked out of the Loft he started thinking of the very brief peaceful and happy time he'd had with Shepard; something to fight for, his own personal letters from home. Better than any nostalgic musing about what should have been.

He shook his head to clear it, turning his thoughts to Cerberus and taking them down. When the elevator opened at the CIC Kaidan stepped out, Legion, Tali and Primea were waiting for him in the airlock by the cockpit. He nodded to them, "Remember people this is first and foremost an information gathering mission. Disable any Cerberus agents you can, without endangering the lives or safety of the ground or the _Normandy_." Tali, Primea and Legion all nodded. Kaidan went through his permission check list in his head before asking, "Any last minute observations?"

"There's four of you," Joker commented from behind Kaidan.

Kaidan ignored him as the others shook their heads, "Bring us in, Joker." Joker did so, with his usual finesse and skill. Several minutes later the four of them walked out of the airlock heading for the high class entertainment district. They jogged along backstreets and side roads heading for the Cerberus agents' safe house.

They got there just in time. The two Cerberus agents were frantically trying to flash their computer's memory core when they knocked the door down. Primea and Kaidan charged through the door as fast as they could go to neutralize the two Cerberus agents that were frantically trying to flash their computer core. Legion and Tali immediately went on the computer to keep the memory core from erasing itself.

The Commander injected them with an antidote to the poison that every Cerberus agent had imbedded in their mouth. The female agent clearly figured out what they were being injected with and glared at him. He smiled at her serenely, "No easy way out for you, Cerberus Dog." the agent just glared at him in helpless fury and said nothing.

"Commander we got it," Tali said clearly excited, "everything about Cerberus operations here on Illium."

"Good, what if anything got flashed?" Kaidan asked.

"Yes, but I think we can recover it once we're back on the _Normandy_."

Kaidan sigh, it would have been nice to have that, "That's alright. Is what we need on there?"

"Yes," Tali didn't elaborate. She just went back to what she and Legion were doing.

Kaidan looked up a Primea, she nodded. He nodded back and the two of them went to scout out the rest of the building. The room they were in was a small basement under an old style theater that had probably been intended for set and prop storage. It took the two of them nearly twenty minutes to sweep the whole theater and be sure that the building was actually clear. He setup sentry programs on all the doors as he and Primea checked each one. Being a theater meant there were a lot of doors, particularly on the street side; fortunately the windows were all covered so it was likely that no one on the busy street outside could see them.

They finally returned to the basement where they'd left Tali, Legion and their prisoners, to find that Tali and Legion were nearly ready to go. They were packing up their decryption tools while keeping a surreptitious eye on the Cerberus operatives. Kaidan's omni-tool buzzed for attention. Kaidan quickly checked it. Several people had just come in through the stage door. He pulled up the motion detector readouts; there were six heavily armed soldiers coming in and no evidence of any support in the alleyway behind the theater.

Kaidan growled then asked Tali and Legion, "How much time do you need?"

"None, Alenko Commander, we are done," Legion answered, Tali nodded in agreement.

"There's people coming in the stage door, that's your exit point." he indicated Tali and Legion, "can the two of you handle them," he indicated the Cerberus agents, "by yourselves?" Tali nodded. He turned to Primea, "we're the distraction." the turian Spectre nodded. Turning back to Tali and Legion, "take them out the door and head back along route B; we'll meet you behind Turnbuckle Theater." the pieces around Legion's eye flared and Tali nodded.

_Author's Notes: Kaidan's cousin Heath is supposed to be the cousin that Kaidan mentioned in the game, the one that has the agriculture business._

_I broke the arbitrary rule of three for a groundside team in this chapter. Kaidan knows he's a good hacker but he also knows that Legion and Tali are both better than him so he wants them both there and working together just in case, mainly because he remembers what happened when Shepard tried to hack the Cerberus terminal when they were looking into Kahoku's death._


	21. Chapter 21 Faith

Kaidan and Primea went around and went into the theater hall using the main door. The enemy commandoes opened fire first, Kaidan and Primea ran forward and ducked down at the stage edge. The third time Kaidan stood up to fire at the enemy he saw Tali and Legion pushing their two prisoners out the door behind the distracted commandoes. Once they were through to door Kaidan set his omni-tool for a two minute countdown. He and Primea exchanged shots with them, not particularly trying to do any damage just trying to distract them from their one true goal, which was the Cerberus operations center in the basement, and the agents that were manning it. When Kaidan's omni-tool beeped at him he signaled Primea and the two of them pulled back.

Retreating under fire was not the easiest thing to do, particularly when they weren't actively trying to kill their opponents, but they managed it. When they finally got out of the actual theater hall they ducked out another side door and into an unlit back alley that ran tangential to the one Legion and Tali had gone down. In about a minute they rendezvoused with the rest of their team. Five minutes later they were back aboard the Normandy, and pulling out of Port Amoenus.  
When they were out of Illium's atmosphere Joker activated the stealth system and pulled away from the commercial shipping lanes in to the various port cities heading for the mass relay out of the Crescent Nebula. Kaidan went with the escort to have the Cerberus operatives put in the AI Core. Once he was sure the Cerberus agents were secure, Kaidan took the elevator back up to the CIC. As he walked past her, Kelly said, "Commander, you have two new messages at your private terminal."

Kaidan nodded and said, "Thank you, Yeoman," as he walked past her. He walked up the CIC. When he reached the cockpit Joker didn't turn around in his chair because they were coming up on the mass relay. Joker hit it and they jumped out of the Tasale System and into the small star system of Fortis in the Minos Waste Land with three planets and nothing of note that never the less had two well used relays in it; the one the had just used and one leading to the Serpent Nebula and the Widow System with the Citadel. Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief once Joker had activated the IES stealth system. They were clear so far, and would likely stay so. But Kaidan was still worried about Cerberus reprisal for the raid they'd just completed.

It would take about twenty minutes for Joker to get across the system to the other mass relay at normal space speeds. Kaidan wanted to stay in the cockpit just to be sure, so he sat in the navigator's seat and pulled up the unread message on his omni-tool. There were actually three new messages; the first message was from Heath, just a normal email updates on Heath's kids and his wife and a bit about Zhu's Hope, the second from Admiral Hackett confirming that the Alliance had done as the Watch Dog suggested on Titan, and the third was from Shepard.

Kay,

I'm going to be on Arcturus in six days. I'll be waiting for you in the Yangtzee Kiang Hotel Bar at 1900.

Shepard

Kaidan sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. Life had just gotten a hell of lot more complicated. He would meet with her but Kaidan was walking a fine line by doing this. In fact, Kaidan was stepping over the line by doing this; there was no way he was telling more people than he had to.

Kaidan groaned as another thought occurred to him; what if Shepard was planning to ambush him. Would she do that? Had she fallen that far? But no, if she had it didn't matter, he hadn't and he could not, no he would not plan to betray her. But that didn't mean he was going to walk in there unprepared. But how to properly handle the possibility of an ambush? He was going to have to think about that.

Kaidan began a message to Heath. When they came up to the mass relay Kaidan stood behind Joker's chair. They jumped into the clear area around the Citadel, but before Joker could use through the mass relay to Arcturus they were jumped by four gunships. All the trouble Shepard went through to upgrade the Normandy was well spent. The Normandy's multi-core shielding shrugged off the initial hits and Joker's reflex's were quick enough to keep the rest of the shots from connecting, "Pull closer to the Citadel, there's enough of our fleet there to get these guys off our tail!"

Joker dove closer to the Citadel just as one of the gunships scored a direct, if lucky hit. The Normandy rocked but there was still no significant damage. Joker pulled close into the Citadel's fleet making the Normandy dance all the while. Primea ran up the CIC at that moment and skidded to a stop in the cockpit. She looked at the monitors clearly assessing the situation. Kaidan turned to her, "Can you order the Citadel fleet to help us?"

"I shouldn't need too."

"If Cerberus got to the fleet…Primea, please."

Primea's head snapped up and she spun to face Kaidan, clearly angry. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped at the look on Kaidan's face. He couldn't tell what she saw there but he knew what he was thinking. If Cerberus had enough strings to pull in the Systems Alliance Fleet to keep nearly everyone off their tales, what were the odds they didn't have some hold on the Alliance vessels serving in the Citadel Fleet. If that were the case, then those ships wouldn't help any ship being chased by Cerberus vessels they might even hinder the Normandy's escape. If a Spectre ordered the Citadel Fleet to attack they could not disobey that order, there would be no loophole for them to hide behind.

Primea nodded and said, "Fleet comm.?" Kaidan nodded and punched it up. Nodding again, "This is Spectre Primea Palrian, confirmation Palrian alpha six nine one charlie tango. I'm aboard the Systems Alliance vessel SSV Normandy and I require your assistance with our assailants."

A female voice came over the comm., "This is the Destiny Ascension, identity confirmed Spectre Palrian, we are targeting your attackers." within moments all four Cerberus ships were destroyed.

"Thank you, Destiny Ascension."

"You're welcome, Spectre Palrian. Is there anymore assistance we can provide?"  
"I require nothing else at this time, thank you. Palrian out." She nodded to Kaidan and he cut the comm.

"Well, that went well," Kaidan observed.

"Yeah, we should do that every time we flip over a new rock," Joker put in. Kaidan chuckled and tapped the brim of Joker's SR-2 hat.

Kaidan looked up at Primea and nodded, "Thank you." She nodded in acknowledgment then turned away, "Joker?"

"Resuming course to Arcturus now, Commander," Joker also reinitiated the IES stealth system.  
Kaidan sat back down at the navigation station. Hopefully the Normandy wouldn't run into anymore problems getting to Arcturus Station, though Kaidan wasn't willing to bet on it. Between the failed raid on the lab on Titan and his own raid on Illium, Kaidan sincerely hoped that Cerberus was hurting, though it felt something like kicking a hornet's nest in august, very dangerous and deeply stupid. But then again if he'd wanted to be safe Kaidan would have chosen a different career. All in all while his life wasn't exactly sunshine and daisies, it was still good, and Kaidan was fighting for something he believed in.

Joker hit the mass relay to Arcturus less than five minutes later. Kaidan immediately activated the comm. and contacted Admiral Hackett on his direct line, "SSV Normandy to Admiral Hackett."

"Hackett here, bring the Normandy in before you make anymore new friends."  
Kaidan smiled grimly, "I was hoping you would say that, sir."

"Hackett out," the Admiral said and Kaidan shut the comm. down.

Joker's console lit up with docking information, "Got it Commander."

"Take us in Joker."

Kaidan activated the ships intercom, "Sergeant Patterson, bring the prisoners to the airlock with a full squad please. Jacob, Grunt, Garrus, and Samara report to the airlock, please," Primea stood up from the tech station chair and joined Kaidan in the airlock. Jacob arrived first, which made sense considering he had the shortest distance to travel. Garrus and Samara arrived next followed shortly by Grunt. Several minutes later Sergeant Patterson and a squad of twelve marines walked up the CIC to the airlock with the two Cerberus operatives.

Before they left the Normandy Kaidan turned to Garrus and said, "Grunt and Samara are with you; stay with the prisoners. Cerberus has already tried to take their people back once, so stay alert. I'll send a squad to relieve you later." He looked at Patterson, entirely healed from his fight with Shepard, who saluted Kaidan, then to Garrus, Samara and Grunt who both nodded in understanding.

They all disembarked from the Normandy. When they reached the main Alliance military base transit hub Garrus and his people split off with the prisoners for the prison section. Jacob and Primea followed Kaidan to Admiral Hackett's office in the very heart of the military base. When the three of them trooped into his office, Hackett stood up. Kaidan saluted Admiral Hackett formally, which he casually returned then the two men shook hands, "Good work on Illium, Alenko."

"Thank you, sir. I sent some of my people down to the detention area, if it's alright with you sir, I would like some of my people to stand guard until we get what we need out of them."

Hackett considered this for a moment, "Considering, the nature of the beast, so to speak, that's probably a good idea; since we know for certain that none of your crew has Cerberus ties."

Kaidan nodded and smiled, Hackett smiled back for a moment then frowned. He turned to Jacob and Primea, "If you will excuse us for a moment."

The two of them nodded and left the door closing behind them, "Sir?" Kaidan said.  
"You are playing a very dangerous game, Alenko."

Kaidan's face went blank and, with a great deal of effort, he kept himself from bracing, "What do you mean sir?"

Hackett's eyes narrowed, "Contacting Shepard, while I understand that she is not in her right mind right now she is currently supporting Cerberus."

Kaidan breathed covert relief, Hackett didn't know about their planned meeting then, "I couldn't not contact her sir."

Hackett appraised Kaidan for a moment before observing mildly, "Especially after Horizon?"  
Kaidan swallowed, "Exactly, sir." Kaidan considered carefully for a full minute watching Hackett before saying, "I'm going to meet with her tomorrow."

Hackett's head reared back then he leaned towards Kaidan, looking at him. After appraising the look on Kaidan's face for several tense moments the tension left Hackett shoulders. Hackett sighed warily, "You're not going to make any attempt to grab her," Hackett sat down behind his desk with another sigh, "I suppose I can't really order you not to meet with her, considering that you'll be off duty at the time," Hackett meet Kaidan's eyes, "and what happens if you get ambushed?" Kaidan opened his mouth in protest, Hackett held up a hand, "no, I don't think Shepard would ambush you, for the same reason you're not planning to take her into custody. I wasn't talking about Shepard ambushing you. What if the Illusive Man decides that one way he can ensure her continuing loyalty is to gift wrap you? Do you really think she would turn that down?"

"Yes," Kaidan answered without hesitation, sure of himself and of Shepard, "first, the Illusive Man has no reason to question Shepard's loyalty; second, Shepard would free me from such an entrapment. I know because I would free her if you tried the same thing."

Hackett groaned, "Dear god Alenko! Isn't capturing her your plan?"

Kaidan shook his head, "Not like that, when I get her I'm going to have her cure in my hand. I won't risk her running again." After a moment Kaidan cleared his throat and changed the subject, "if I'm made a Spectre I'm going to start an organization for the sole purpose of taking down Cerberus."

Hackett appraised Kaidan for a moment, "Councilor Anderson said as much. So long as you still answer to the Council and myself I won't be concerned. Make sure Shepard understands that when you finally do get her back."

Author's Notes: I added another mass relay to the Fortis system based on what the ME wiki says about the relays. .com/wiki/Mass_relay

There's a STAR TREK reference in this chapter did anyone catch it? 


	22. Chapter 22 Choose

Shepard stood in the secure Alliance Research and Development Lab on Titan. It was completely empty, Shepard cursed blackly, at length. She turned to her squad leader saying "That tares it. The Alliance defiantly has a mole inside Cerberus." she looked around the large laboratory at nothing, she muttered blackly under her breath, "when I get a hold of that damned Alliance spy…" Shepard raised her voice and spoke to her squad, "let's move out." they left Titan using a small gunship with a supped up drive core. When they got to Arcturus, Shepard dismissed her people to shore leave and grabbed her own bag and left the ship.

Shepard took her time walking to Yangtzee Kiang Hotel. Because of the way their mission on Titan had gone she was nearly sixteen hours early for her rendezvous with Kaidan and nineteen hours early for her shuttle flight off Arcturus. She decided she would buy some more civilian clothes. Somehow Shepard didn't think it would be a particularly bright idea to walk around the capital of the Systems Alliance in a Cerberus uniform and she only had two complete civilian outfits. After spending an hour shopping for and buying casual clothes she began to aimlessly wander around the main market district of Arcturus.

Shepard came across a small odds and ends store that shared a quaint square with another knick-knack shop, a flower shop, an ice cream parlor and small café. While Shepard wasn't usually into knick-knack shops, she was drawn to this particular one by the intriguing display of prisms and variously colored metal pendants with watches built into their backs in the window.

While she was looking at the pendants, Shepard found one with a guitar and musical notes on it. She immediately thought of Kaidan and bought it then and there. The man quite literally had hundreds of songs stored on his omni-tool. On top of that Shepard knew that Kaidan hadn't gone home to his parents' house in Vancouver during the five year gap between when he'd killed Vyrnnus and when he'd finally enlisted in the Alliance. Kaidan had chosen instead to avoid contact with all of his family but his cousin Heath. Kaidan had played guitar and sung professionally, recording several albums. The money he'd made combined with a partial, but substantial, scholarship had allowed Kaidan to put himself through the most prestigious technical university on Earth, MIT.

As she was walking out of the shop she opened the box and looked the pendent watch. Smiling she closed the box again and put it back in her bag. She looked at the café and considered, it looked like a nice place to eat and her date with Kaidan wasn't for some ten hours. She decided to eat lunch.

OoOoO

Kaidan walked back to the _Normandy_ with Jacob and Primea. When they were aboard again the other two wandered off. Kaidan trusted Shepard without reservation but he trusted Cerberus less now than he ever had. Kaidan considered carefully before speaking to Garrus.

"Let me get this straight, Kaidan, you want me to follow you incase Cerberus decides that it would expedient to take you prisoner?" Kaidan nodded. Garrus considered, "and you don't think Shepard would be the one doing this?"

"Never, she respects every person's right to choose. Even if they choose something she doesn't believe is right."

Garrus nodded. Kaidan was right, Shepard would never force a choice on anyone. She would debate and argue her case for as long as she could. Like with Dr. Saleon on the _MSV Fedele_, she hadn't drawn her pistol, nor allowed Garrus or Kaidan to do so, until Saleon had attacked them. Garrus hadn't understood the difference between shooting Saleon out of hand and shooting him after he attacked. '_We can't change how other people will act, you can only control how you'll respond'_, he hadn't understood that. Right up until his squad was betrayed by one of his people and Shepard had helped Garrus track down the barefaced traitor Sidonis.

Shepard hadn't let Garrus take the shot. Instead she had talked to Sidonis drawing him into a conversation that had Sidonis nearly begging for death before the end, to relieve him of his guilt. But in that Garrus wouldn't oblige Sidonis. Garrus had finally begun to understand, partly at least, what Shepard had been trying to teach him all along. You can only control yourself.

Shortly after the encounter with Sidonis on the Citadel, they'd met up with Kaidan on Horizon. After a tense conversation Shepard hadn't even asked Kaidan to join them fighting the Collectors, not because she didn't want him there but because she knew that no debate would convince Kaidan to join Cerberus. Kaidan was right Shepard would never force anyone to join Cerberus she might debate them to death but she would never force anyone to follow her.

Garrus turned back to Kaidan, "I'll come with you."

Kaidan nodded to Garrus in thanks, "Gear up, my dinner with Shepard is in two hours." Garrus nodded and Kaidan left the main battery.

Two hours later Kaidan walked into the Yangtzee Kiang's restaurant bar. Garrus was around somewhere Kaidan didn't know where, which was probably a good thing. Kaidan would have to school himself to ignore the knowledge that he was being watched, the fact that it was Garrus watching him would help with that. Kaidan had no idea what was said between Garrus and Kelly during their sessions but it succeeded in steadying the turian. Garrus seemed more comfortable with his choices in life, though that may have partly been Primea's influence as well.

Kaidan looked around the restaurant and spotted Shepard right away. He smiled as she saw him and waved. She looked just the same; no, that wasn't entirely true she looked slightly off, _constrained_ was the word for it. Though he would not normally attribute that word to someone's body language, but it was the only word that fit. Kaidan sat across the small table from Shepard. He wasn't entirely sure how to act around her, Shepard, who knew him better than anyone, picked up on his discomfort, "Kaidan, your uncomfortable meeting with me."

Kaidan sighed, "Slightly."

Shepard leaned towards him and looked at him intently, "Because you're meeting with a member of a terrorist organization?"

Kaidan half-smiled, "Something like that."

"There's something else bothering you. You still don't trust Cerberus. But you still trust me or you wouldn't be here."

Kaidan nodded, "I trust you beyond reason, but I don't trust Cerberus."

"Then its good thing they don't know I'm meeting you here," Shepard said with a smile.

Kaidan looked at her for a moment, "I don't want to know what it was but I assume you were on some sort of mission for Cerberus." at Shepard's nod, Kaidan went on, "during your mission against the Collectors can you honestly say you ever went unmonitored?"

Shepard sighed and shaking her head she whispered, "No."

"Cerberus and your Illusive Man will know I'm on Arcturus. Even if your message went unmonitored he would know that you would at least try to see me."

Shepard looked at Kaidan, "And I suppose I shouldn't ask why the Illusive Man would know you're here." Kaidan shook his head not smiling. Shepard smiled weakly and leaned forward, "I'm sorry I made things so difficult for us Kay."

Kaidan leaned forward as well and cupping her cheek in his hand he whispered with conviction, "You're worth any trouble, Wildcat." She gave Kaidan a genuine smile and touched her forehead to his. Kaidan sighed and smiled, closing his eyes.

Kaidan felt her laughter before he heard it, Kaidan opened his eyes and sitting back he looked at her, "What?"

"I was just thinking…did you ever read Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yes and that play never really gave me the urge to laugh. Not really a play that I would want to emulate; particularly the ending."

"Oh that's not why I'm laughing," Kaidan raised his eyebrows, so she went on, "I was laughing because we aren't acting out that tragedy."

Kaidan blinked once, then shook his head, "You have a quirky sense of humor sometimes, Wildcat."

"But you wouldn't have me any other way."

"That's right," he grinned then kissed her nose, she giggled, and he grinned, "how long are you on Arcturus?"

Shepard's smile dimmed slightly, "Only for three more hours. I wish I had longer, but it's all I could get."

Kaidan shook his head, "That's alright. I only have four hours before I have to report back."

They punched in their orders a moment later Shepard observed mildly, "they have carrot cake with cream cheese icing."

Kaidan smiled broadly, "I know, that was the first thing I ordered. They have fresh strawberries with whipped cream."

She gave him a fox's mischievous grin, "If we had more time I could show you the merits of strawberries and whipped cream."

Kaidan felt his face heat and his attention start to shift from her face to her body. He held his gaze on Shepard's face and did not allow his mind to wander to exactly what they could do with strawberries and whipped cream. Kaidan narrowed his eyes and he growled half-playfully, "Cruel woman."

She opened her eyes in mock innocence, "What?"

Kaidan smiled, "Tease," a human waitress came up with their drinks just as he said this, and Shepard smirked at Kaidan as his face flushed. The waitress however kept her face admirably straight as she put their glasses on the table and walked away. Kaidan heard Shepard giggle helpless as he buried his face in his hands and groaned, "Shepard…"

"Sorry Kaidan, it's just I don't know why you were embarrassed for calling me a tease."

Kaidan uncovered his face, "I don't know."

Shepard giggled again and shook her head, "Kaidan."

Kaidan half-laughed almost in spite of himself, "Shepard you bring out the fun in life, that's what I've missed most about you."

She raised an eyebrow and drawled sarcastically, "Really?"

He watched her for a moment, fighting to keep the smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth from spreading across his face; he waited until Shepard started to laugh to chuckle himself, "Like I said the fun in life." Kaidan looked into her vivid green eyes and reveled in the spark of amusement there. But there was something else there hiding a persistent something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Kaidan shook his head and smiled at Shepard he would think about that later. The waitress arrived with their food and Shepard thanked her with a sarcastically teasing look at Kaidan who just smiled slightly and shook his head.

"You enjoy teasing me," he observed mildly after the waitress had disappeared.

Shepard nodded as she took a bite from her pasta dish, and looked at him meditatively as she chewed her food and swallowed. She took a sip of her water before saying, with amusement in her voice, "Though it would be more fun if you teased me back."

Kaidan looked at her for a moment before he gave her his trademark half smile and said mildly, "I'll have to work on that."

Shepard kept her face straight, but her green eyes shone with amusement as she said gravely, "You do that." they ate without speaking after that.

When they were done with their main dishes the waitress cleared away their plates and asked politely, "Would you like your desserts now or would you prefer to wait a bit?"

Shepard shrugged indifferently so Kaidan answered her, "If you could bring them out now we'll eat them when we're ready." the waitress smiled and nodding, she disappeared again. Only to reappear about thirty seconds later with a medium sized decorative bowl full of strawberries that had a smaller bowl of whipped cream perched in the middle of the larger bowl for Shepard and a large piece of carrot cake for Kaidan.

Kaidan eyed the bowl of strawberries thoughtfully then looked up at Shepard, she had a positively wicked grin on her face. He muttered something under his breath before saying aloud, "Tease."

Shepard's eyes widened in mock innocence, "I have no idea what you're talking about Kay," after a moment she added teasingly, "get your mind out of the gutter."

"My mind wouldn't be in the gutter right now if _someone_ hadn't led it there deliberately," Kaidan replied and Shepard could tell from the look on Kaidan's face that he was only teasing. Or at least he was mostly only teasing.

After that there were several minutes of silence before Kaidan said, "I'm being evaluated by a turian Spectre by the name of Primea Palrian for Spectre status."

Shepard blinked then nodded, "I didn't know that; congratulations. The council didn't tell me that when I spoke to them three days ago. But then again they aren't particularly thrilled with me at the moment. They really don't like Cerberus." Kaidan shook his head, not saying anything, "and you like Cerberus even less."

Kaidan sighed and nodded. They ate their desserts slowly, talking all the while about nothing Alliance Council or Cerberus related after that. After a time Shepard's omni-tool buzzed quietly and she sighed, "I have to go Kaidan, I'm sorry. I'll try to arrange some more time off base so we can meet again."

"I'm going to be on Arcturus for the time being."

Shepard nodded and they both stood. Kaidan swiped his omni-tool over the bill readout and they left the hotel restaurant together. The two of them separated once they left the Yangtzee Kiang's lobby. Kaidan watched Shepard walk away with mixed feelings. Mostly he was sad that she had to leave so soon. The other part of him was glad she was gone. Keeping up the pretense that he actually believed Shepard's decision to rejoin Cerberus was _actually_ her choicewas wearing.

Once Kaidan lost sight of Shepard in the crowd, he looked up around for Garrus's hiding spot. There was a flicker of movement at the corner of Kaidan's eye and instinctively he stepped back and into a balanced fighting stance. It was a good thing he did even though it didn't help at all, in fact it made things worse. Kaidan felt a flash of pain in his lower back followed shortly by a man's voice in his ear, "Just relax Commander Alenko, you'll be coming with us."

_Author's Notes: I gave Kaidan something to do during five year gap in between when BAat was shut down and when he enlisted in the Alliance. According to the timeline on Mass Effect Wiki (__.com/wiki/Timeline__ ) BAat was shut down in 2168 but it wasn't until 2173 (which I might point out was a year after Shepard joined) that Kaidan joined the Alliance; he would have been around twenty-two at the time. _

_The part where Garrus thinks of Sidonis as a 'barefaced traitor'; we only run across three unmarked turians in the Mass Effect games: Saren Arterius, Warden Kuril and Sidonis. In turian society a person who doesn't have face marking is one who is not to be trusted because they have not given their loyalty to anything (__.com/wiki/Turian#Appearance__). Also turians are taught to have a strong sense of personal accountability, meaning that turians are taught to own to their deeds good or bad (__.com/wiki/Turian#Culture__) and what Sidonis did by turning traitor and running was a _huge_ cultural taboo._

_Author's Notes: I would like to thank those of you who came back after my unexplained hiatus. I've had to replace my laptop 3 times. During the course of which I lost everything I'd written and didn't have the heart to rewrite everything. Fortunately one of my friends had copies of everything on his hard drives._

_Century Fighter: The Paragon ending of ME 2 gives me reason to hope that Shepard will be breaking from Cerberus in ME 3. There's another reason that she left as well which you may find more about later on._

_Pintel: Thank you so much. I had a lot of fun writing that line!_

_Kassandra Black: I'm glad you liked the story. Something similar happened to me though not over so large a cliff._


	23. Chapter 23 Try

The sound of Garrus's sniper rifle rang out and all hell broke loose in the crowded square, civilians began screaming and running. Whoever that man was he was dead now. Kaidan dropped to his hands and knees with a groan, fighting the powerful sedative he'd just been injected with. Kaidan could feel his mind begin to slow as he fought to stay awake. Garrus fired his rifle again before Kaidan heard Shepard say, "God damn it!" and pull him to his feet, "stupid bastards, Kaidan are you alright? I didn't think the Illusive Man would do this to you even if he knew I was meeting you here."

Garrus dropped from the catwalks to 'street' level without hesitation and pulled out his assault rifle. Pointing his weapon at Shepard felt wrong, "Put him down Shepard. I'll take it from here."

"Garrus? But what…? Oh I see, Kaidan didn't trust me," Shepard looked hurt.

"No, Kaidan trusts you. He asked me to watch his back because he doesn't trust Cerberus," Garrus aimed his rifle and fired Shepard didn't even flinch. A woman behind Shepard with a pistol in her hand dropped to the deck plating dead, "and neither do I."

"But Kaidan, I can't leave him like this."

Garrus shook his head, "Don't you need to go?"

Shepard nodded but still looked torn, "What if you get jumped on your way to the nearest Med Clinic? I should come with you to help."

Garrus shook his head again, "I'm taking him to the Alliance clinic, you can't exactly go there without getting arrested." Garrus lifted Kaidan's other arm and put it around his own shoulder.

"I'll walk you there then."

Garrus sighed but nodded. Within five minutes they were one turn away from the military base, Kaidan was fully unconscious now. Garrus took all of Kaidan's weight and said to Shepard,

"Once we go around this corner we'll be in plain view of the checkpoint guards."

"What if they're on Cerberus's payroll?"

Garrus shook his head, "Even if they are you can't help, go Shepard we'll be fine." Shepard left with one last worried look over her shoulder. Garrus sighed, once this was all over and Shepard was herself again, Garrus was going to need a very long vacation.

Garrus hoisted Kaidan more firmly on his shoulder and strode around the corner. The Checkpoint guards immediately reacted, one of them stepped into their security room to call for medical aide and the other came towards Garrus, "What happened to the Commander?"

"I'm not entirely sure. You know who this is?"

"Sure he left here a few hours ago right after I came on duty." A moment later several men came running up with a stretcher. Garrus breathed covert relief as he laid Kaidan down on the stretcher, and began to trot along the side as the medics rushed Kaidan off to the nearest base clinic.

Once they reached the EMC the doctor came over and after unbuttoning Kaidan's shirt attached a control lead to his chest.

The doctor glanced briefly up at Garrus, "Patient's name?"

"Kaidan Alenko," the doctor turned to the medic and nodded.

The medic left the room briefly and came back with a datapad and handed it to the doctor, "Thirty five years old; L2 biotic, side effects: occasional severe migraines," the doctor read out loud then put the datapad on the nearest lab bench.

The medic shifted Kaidan enough to entirely take the shirt off. That done the medic took some alcohol and swabbed the inside of Kaidan's elbow as the doctor turned back with a needle and drew several vials of blood. The doctor left the front room of the clinic with the vials.

The medic meanwhile attached another control lead this time to Kaidan's upper arm. The medic looked up at Garrus, "What happened?"

"He was injected with something by a Cerberus agent; in the middle of his lower back."

The medic cursed and nearly ran over to a cabinet and pulled out topical thermometer. The medic began using a thermometer to check the temperature of Kaidan's extremities. Garrus watched this in fascination for a moment before asking, "Why are you doing that?"

The doctor finished what he was doing with the vials before looking up, "Checking to make sure that he wasn't poisoned. We had a report from higher up that Cerberus has used Hemlock. One of the key markers of Hemlock poisoning is a drop in body temperature starting in the extremities from asphyxiation," the medic looked at the monitor readout for the control lead on Kaidan's chest, "though it really doesn't look like he's been poisoned. Heart rate, respiration, blood oxygen levels, everything looks good. I'm checking to just to be on the safe side."

The doctor came back into the room with another datapad and looked up at Garrus, "They used a very fast acting and very powerful sedative called methohexital. The drug is safe, reliable and has been in use by surgeons for well over a century. While I've never seen this specific variation before Commander Alenko is in no danger."

"Should I get the antagonist doctor?" the medic asked.

The doctor pursed his lips and thought for a moment, then shook his head, "We're dealing with a Cerberus drug they may have added something else."

Garrus remarked, "If Kaidan hadn't asked me to back him up Cerberus would have taken him with them."  
The doctor nodded, "I see. But I still don't think it's necessary. He'll be awake in about six hours if he weren't a biotic it would be even longer than that."

Garrus sighed, "I would like to oversee his transfer to the SSV Normandy if you don't mind doctor."

The doctor looked surprised but the medic was the first to speak, "I don't think we can let you do that."

Garrus turned to the medic his eyes appraising the man's face. The medic blanched visibly but didn't move. Garrus turned to the doctor, "Is there any medical reason I should know about that would make it unsafe for Staff Commander Alenko to be transferred back to his flagship?"

The doctor shook his head, "None that I can think of; Dr. Chakwas is an excellent physician, one of the best the Alliance has to offer," he turned to his medic looking slightly confused.

Garrus nodded also looking at the medic asked coldly, "Your name?"

The medic went whiter, which Garrus watched with some fascination, before the medic answered, "Alliance Medical Corps Operations Chief Kevin Sheen."

Garrus nodded, "Thank you," he turned to the doctor, "do you know Dr. Chakwas personally?"

"Oh yes we lived through Shanxi together. I'm Dr. Howard Stein." Garrus nodded politely. He strode to the other side of the room without looking away from the medic and activated his comm. "Vakarian to Normandy come in."

"This is the Normandy, Crewman Hadley here, what do you need sir?"

"Send Dr. Chakwas to the Alliance military base EMC post six with a marine escort please."

"Yes, sir. What's happened, sir?"

"Nothing that you need to be concerned about Hadley; carry on."

"Yes, sir. Normandy out."

Just after he turned off his personal comm. Garrus's omni-tool buzzed for attention. He activated it and looked at the alarm note uncomprehendingly for a moment then he shook his head, "Of course," Garrus muttered under his breath before activating his comm. again. "Jacob? It's Garrus."

"Garrus, what do you need?"

"I need you to take my prison guard shift. I'll relieve you when I can but Alenko got himself knocked out."

"The Commander did what?"

"Open channel, Taylor."

"Right, I'll take your shift for you Garrus."

"Thanks," Garrus shut down his comm. with a sigh. Playing prison guard for two Cerberus agents was not exactly a riveting duty. If Garrus had to choose between guard duty and the prospect of briefing Admiral Hackett on exactly how Kaidan had ended up sedated, Garrus would have chosen the former. But since Kaidan had yet to officially appoint an Executive Officer the duty of appraising Kaidan's superior officer of the situation fell to Garrus because he was there when Kaidan was drugged.

Ten minutes later Dr. Chakwas walked into the room flanked by the Normandy secondary marine squad. Dr. Chakwas appraised everyone's body language and let out a breath in clear relief, "Dr. Stein, I didn't know you were assigned to Arcturus."

Dr. Stein nodded, "I've been here for about a day; the two of us were rotated off the SSV Seoul."

Dr. Chakwas nodded, "We'll have to catch up sometime later. What's wrong with Commander Alenko?"

"He's been heavily sedated with a variation of methohexital that I haven't seen before," Dr. Stein handed her a datapad.

Dr. Chakwas took the datapad and flipped rapidly through several screens, "Hmm… no I've never seen this specific variation before either. I assume that's why you haven't used the antagonist?"

Dr. Stein nodded and picked up the datapad with Kaidan's medical records on them. He tapped it a few times then handed it to Dr. Chakwas. She took the datapad's stylus from it slot on the side signed the datapad dated it and after checking her omni-tool added the time before handing it back to Dr. Stein.

Dr. Stein nodded his thanks and said, "He's all yours."

Dr. Chakwas smiled and the two doctors proceeded to transfer Kaidan to a medical transport bed. That done Dr. Chakwas left EMC post six with Garrus and the Marines following. When the procession reached the Normandy's airlock Garrus said his goodbyes and split off. Garrus had the unlucky distinction of being the bearer of bad news to Kaidan's superior officer, so he headed back to the Alliance base at a trot. When he reached the checkpoint he asked the guards for directions to Admiral Hackett's office which they obligingly gave him after assuring him that the Admiral had been informed that Garrus Vakarian was coming in place of Staff Commander Alenko.

Garrus felt distinctly uncomfortable entering Admiral Hackett's outer office waiting room. After barely a minute of waiting the Admiral's desk sergeant told him, "The Admiral will see you now Mr. Vakarian."

Garrus stood and walked into Admiral Hackett's office the door closing silently behind him. Hackett looked at him for a long moment, "Are you here to tell me that that idiot Alenko got himself kidnapped or shot by some Cerberus Dog?"

Garrus froze for a moment. Garrus wasn't sure what he had been expecting of the head of the Systems Alliance Fifth Fleet, but that opening line certainly was not it. Garrus's mandibles loosened then tightened again as he considered how to answer that question in a properly respectful way. After a moment Garrus said evenly, "Commander Alenko was drugged by a Cerberus agent without Shepard's knowledge. If I hadn't been there they would have taken him and she would never have known."

Hackett breathed a long slow breath in clear relief, "I'm glad he was thinking clearly enough to take back up with him. What exactly was Alenko drugged with?"

"Methohexital is what Dr. Stein said," after a moment of thought Garrus added, "his medic, a man named Kevin Sheen, was curiously reluctant to let Commander Alenko be transferred back to the Normandy, there might be some connection to Cerberus there."

Hackett, after waving Garrus to a chair, nodded looking thoughtful, "I'll have someone I trust look into this Sheen character." Hackett appraised Garrus for a moment, "Alenko neglected to inform me that he had chosen you to be his XO."

"He hasn't, Admiral," Garrus shift slightly in his chair before he could stop himself.  
There were very few humans that could read turian body language; Kaidan and Shepard both could. Unfortunately, Hackett clearly could as well because he said mildly, "I think you underestimate yourself Vakarian. You are very capable team leader according to Shepard. For now I'm going to consider you Alenko's second." Garrus opened his mouth to say something then closed it again, Hackett saw this and raised an eyebrow at Garrus, "Yes, Vakarian?"  
Garrus thought for a moment then said carefully, "I trusted the man who sold me and my people out for money."

Hackett looked at Garrus for a long moment before saying, "I'd have thought Shepard and Alenko would have beaten into your brain by now you can't control what other people do."  
Garrus barked an ironic laugh before nodding his head, "They have, I'm still working on it Admiral."

Hackett nodded in perfect understanding, "As I was saying, I had a meeting scheduled with Alenko about ten minutes ago. About the agents your group caught on Illium, my people broke one of them just a few hours ago. In addition to some interesting things about Cerberus we learned the shuttle that took Shepard off the MSV Beijing was the JS N626 a Cerberus owned craft." Hackett leaned across his desk and handed an encrypted OSD to Garrus, "that's for Alenko when he wakes up. Remind him to appoint an XO."

Garrus rose to his feet and turned to leave when Admiral Hackett cleared his throat and Garrus turned back to face the Admiral, "Sir?"

"Tell Alenko that I said 'I told you so'."

Garrus's Mandibles twitched in obvious amusement, "I'll do that sir."

Author's Notes: Yet another made up ship class this time the JS meaning Jump Shuttle think of it as an upscale model of the Kodiak Shuttle that's in the game.  
There's a Disney reference did anyone catch it? 


	24. Chapter 24 Commission

"Shepard, believe it or not the incident with Staff Commander Alenko was not about you. He raided a top security listening and intelligence post on Illium taking vital information to the Alliance. He also took two Cerberus Agents into custody."

Shepard felt her rage singing in her mind but all the same her eyes widened, "Illium?"

The Illusive Man nodded gravely his electric blue colder than usual, "It's possible Commander Alenko tracked you."

Shepard narrowed her eyes in thought. Kaidan had said the Illusive Man would know she was on Arcturus. Clearly Kaidan's raid against Cerberus's assets on Illium had riveted the Illusive Man's attention. Particularly when coupled with Shepard's own botched mission on Titan, "And my mission on Titan?"

The Illusive Man's eyes narrowed slightly and his voice was tight with rage when he said, "It's also possible the Alliance's latest mole is better at his job then the last one."

The Illusive Man sat back in his chair and lit a cigarette. He took a long draw on it, clearly thinking as he said, "Hackett is getting very good at keeping Alliance information out of my hands."

"Do you want me to find our new mole?"

"I have someone else on that already," Shepard nodded and breathed covert relief. She knew where her own skills were, and mole hunting was not one of them. The Illusive Man cleared his throat and Shepard looked into to his electric blue eyes, "If there's nothing else Shepard, you can go."

Shepard looked at him for a moment. She was still mad that he'd tried to abduct Kaidan, she could understand his reasons but she didn't like it, "I want Kaidan Alenko and the _Normandy_ and her crew left alone."

"I will do what is necessary for Cerberus to continue fighting for humanity's advancement."

Shepard's glared did not abate and she gritted her teeth before she reiterated, "I want Kaidan, the _Normandy_ and her crew left alone."

The Illusive Man shook his head, "I make no such guarantees; Commander Alenko hit Cerberus hard, that cannot go unpunished."

"I don't want any of my people hurt."

The Illusive took another long draw on his cigarette, "They're not your people anymore, Shepard. You left them behind."

Shepard's eyes narrowed further and her icy glare dropped another few degrees as she snarled, "I had no choice."

"As you so eloquently put it 'you can only control your own actions',"

"Exactly," she snapped, "you can't control what other people choose. I chose Cerberus, the _Normandy_ and her crew chose the Alliance; that was their choice to make and I don't want them hurt."

"Shepard they are your enemies now."

Shepard's jaw clenched and she ruthlessly reined in the icy blaze that was her temper, "You believe in a human positive agenda."

The Illusive Man gazed at her, eyes devoid of any emotion that Shepard could discern, for nearly a full minute before nodding judiciously, "That is one of Cerberus's fundamental precepts, Shepard, you know this."

"The Alliance represents the best humanity has to offer, and yet you attack them regularly, steal their research and prototypes as well as their records and intelligence reports. And then you wonder why they attack you."

"The Alliance is, in my estimation, not always capable of utilizing its assets to their greatest potential."

Shepard actually hissed in annoyance, "Then why break from the Alliance in the first place? You would have been in position to influence how things were done."

The Illusive Man gave her another long look before answering in that same even tone of his, "Suffice it to say, it was not my choice to break from the Alliance, it was my predecessor's, the General died soon afterwards."

Shepard felt her surprise melt away some of her anger, "I see." she appraised him for a moment before adding, "not that you don't take advantage of not being governmentally regulated."

The Illusive Man just looked at her, "Is there anything else Shepard?"

With a weary half stifled sigh Shepard shook her head no. Shepard nodded to the Illusive Man warily and left his office. The Illusive Man sat back in his chair and contemplated the door through which Shepard had just left. He took a long drag from his cigarette before putting it down in the ash tray built into his chair arm. After another moment of careful contemplation he punched up Miranda's personal comm. number.

Miranda answered almost immediately, "Yes?"

"I need to speak with you immediately in my office," he said briefly before cutting the comm.

About five minutes later Miranda strode into his office with a questioning look on her face, "Yes?"

"Shepard just spent the last half hour arguing with me because of my attempt to get a hold of Commander Alenko." Miranda's eyebrows rose in surprised inquiry, after a moment the Illusive Man added, "after which Shepard told me that she didn't want the _Normandy_ or its crew harmed."

"You knew she was an extremely loyal woman when you set me out to revive her. You hoped that she would extend her loyalty to Cerberus and you naturally. When that didn't happen you had Biggerstaff and his cell create that devotion artificially."

"I want Trojan Horse checked medically to verify that it's still in effect."

Miranda nodded, "I can have that done; but in my opinion it's not necessary."

The Illusive Man looked at her for a moment before saying calmly, "Explain."

"When Shepard was loyal to the Alliance she never hesitated to speak her mind. It's noted in her Alliance personnel file, though she was never charged with insubordination. Anderson and Hackett noted her speaking her mind very passionately against Hackett himself when he opposed putting Alenko on the original _Normandy_'s crew because of the migraines he suffers from."

The Illusive Man looked pensive for a moment then nodded, "I want her checked none the less."

Miranda nodded, "Very well. Is there anything else?" when the Illusive Man shook his she nodded respectfully to him and turning she strode from the room. The Illusive Man sat back in his chair smoking, he contemplated Shepard. She was a very strong and passionate woman it was a shame he'd been forced to alter her in any way but humanity needed Shepard which meant Cerberus needed her. It was also a shame she was so loyal to a man who would sell out humanity to the Citadel Council. If she weren't The Illusive Man would not have had to take such drastic measure to ensure she would serve Cerberus.

OoOoO

Kaidan opened his eyes to the vaguely blurry sight of the _Normandy_'s Med Bay. He blinked once and the room swam into better focus. Kaidan sat up slowly, he was groggy and his lower back ached slightly where the Cerberus dog had stabbed him with the needle. Dr. Chakwas stood and came over to him, "How are you feeling Commander?"

Kaidan put his hand over his eyes for a moment before answering her, "I'm a bit groggy but I'll be fine."

Dr. Chakwas nodded, "You've been out for a little less than six hours."

"What did they dose me with?"

"Methohexital."

Kaidan blinked, "I see. What happened after I was knocked out?"

"Garrus took you to an EMC on the Alliance Base and then we transferred you back to the _Normandy_." she touched the medical monitor at the head of the bed Kaidan was sitting on.

Kaidan nodded slowly, "Can I go doctor?"

After a moment of studying the medical readouts Dr. Chakwas nodded looking up at him, "If you experience any side effects come see me."

Kaidan nodded and slid off the bed and left the med bay. He went into the main battery and found it empty. After a moment of thought Kaidan said, "EDI?"

EDI's interface activated in the panel to the right of the door, "Yes Commander Alenko?"

"Where is Garrus Vakarian?"

"He is not aboard the _Normandy_ at this time."

"Do you know where he went?"

"He went to the Systems Alliance base on Arcturus Station to guard the Cerberus personnel being held in the prison section there"

Kaidan rolled his eyes, "Who's with him?"

"Jack and Thane."

"When is he due back?"

"Any minute now, Commander."

Kaidan sighed, "Thank you EDI."

"You're welcome, Commander."

Kaidan left the main battery and walked to the elevator riding it up to the CIC. He walked up the CIC to the cockpit where Joker sat, inexplicably considering the _Normandy_ was docked, in the pilot's chair. Joker spun his chair to face Kaidan, "Way to show Cerberus what you're made of. What were you gonna do snore at them?"

Kaidan snorted in ironic amusement, "Funny."

"I thought so sir. How is Shepard? Aside from crazy I mean."

Kaidan's amusement faded away as he sighed, "She's alright, though she seems off. And she's not crazy, she's been brainwashed."

"If you say so Commander, all you command types are nuts."

Kaidan laughed, "You're one to talk considering you're a 'command type' as well." Joker gave Kaidan a mock hurt look so Kaidan added, "you _are_ the chief helmsman of the _Normandy_."

Kaidan heard the airlock open behind him and he turned. Jack walked through the airlock actually conversing civilly with the marine Corporal Matsuura. The two of them were followed by four more of the _Normandy_'s marines who saluted Kaidan before going off duty. Thane , Garrus and the last marine came through the airlock last, when Garrus saw Kaidan he broke off his conversation and came over, "Are you alright Commander?"

Kaidan nodded, "For which I have you to thank Garrus."

Garrus' mandibles worked as he nodded gravely to Kaidan, before saying, "I reported to Admiral Hackett."

Kaidan raised his eyebrows and cocked his head before saying, "I see," after a moment Kaidan nodded, "I needed to appoint an Executive Officer, anyways," Kaidan smiled briefly then his face became grave, "I could ask for no one better to serve as my second in command."

Garrus nodded back just as gravely, "Thank you Commander Alenko."

Kaidan smiling shook his head, "Technically you're not a member of the Alliance military yet, so you don't actually have to call me by my Alliance rank."

Garrus's mandibles twitched, "I'll keep that in mind," Garrus looked around them and added, "there's a few other things Admiral Hackett wanted you to know."

Kaidan nodded and opened his hand towards the elevator, inviting Garrus to lead on, "You can brief me in my office Garrus." Garrus walked up the CIC towards the elevator with Kaidan following close behind. The two of them rode the elevator down to the crew quarters deck and went into Kaidan's office.

Kaidan took a seat at his desk and Garrus sat in front of him, "Hackett's people broke one of the Cerberus agents a few hours ago. They learned that the shuttle that took Shepard off the _MSV Beijing_ was the _JS N626_; which is a Cerberus owned craft," Garrus took the encrypted OSD out of his pocket and handed it to Kaidan.

Kaidan took the OSD and set it on his desk. He turned back to Garrus, "Anything else?"

Garrus nodded and said, "Hackett said to remind you to appoint and XO." his mandibles opened in a broad turian grin, "Hackett also said to tell you 'I told you so'."

Kaidan laughed nodding, "So he did." after a moment Kaidan thought of something, "as I said before I want you for my second." Garrus nodded so Kaidan continued, "I need to make that official." Kaidan turned to face his desk and after a few minutes of search pulled up the necessary forms. After transferring them to a datapad he handed it to Garrus.

Garrus read the first paragraph at the top of the form once then reread it twice; he wasn't sure whether he should be amused or offended. Garrus looked up at Kaidan who had a faintly amused look on his face, "A form for 'Non-Humans Who Wish to Join the Alliance'?"

Kaidan snorted in amusement before nodding, "Standard procedure, sorry. It's probably better for you to be amused."

Garrus, after a moment of thought, chuckled, "You're probably right," he signed, initialed, dated and marked the time on the bottom of the form. Garrus scrolled to the next form, "A commission? As a Lieutenant Commander? You can do that?"

"Actually, it's not technically an official commission; it's what's called a 'brevet commission'."

Garrus sat back in his chair, "They don't have those in the turian military, so I don't really understand the difference."

Kaidan nodded, "I'm not surprised. The brevet rank is an old idea, orginally the Alliance didn't have the need for the rank. That changed back during the liberation of Shanxi, or well, right before that. The Alliance brass needed to get a fleet together in a hurry. So to bolster their rather small standing navy they ended up granting a lot of brevet commissions to anyone with a ship big enough to carry troops, or with shuttles fast and nimble enough to serve as fighters; which is also why it was so easy for Shepard to bring the _SR-2_ into the navy."

Garrus nodded speculatively, "Smart, though I wouldn't have thought such raw captains would be as effective in the Liberation as they were."

Kaidan smiled a bit grimly at this, "Well, if you take a look at our history, we humans have always been our own worst enemies. I doubt any of those brevet officers were entirely green, even if they were just used to fighting pirate bands. They all would have seen combat of some kind even if they were just merchants or smugglers."

Garrus nodded again this time thoughtfully as he filled out the bottom of the form. That done he flipped to the last form, this one was an official form for being posted aboard the _Normandy_. Once Garrus filled that form out he handed the datapad back to Kaidan. Kaidan took the datapad and set it on his desk so he could complete his part later. When Kaidan turned around Garrus was watching him, "What?"

"Shepard never had us fill out forms like this."

Kaidan chuckled, "Shepard is just as by the book as I am but she hates terminal work. When I was on the first _Normandy_ she had Presley and me do as much of it as she could get away with. So when she brought the _Normandy_ in and because of the way the 'Militia Clause', as it's called, is written she could fill out a couple of blanket forms and be done. It's usually assumed that the brevetted Captain will fill out more in depth forms later on, when the commissions are no longer considered brevet."

Garrus blinked, "And how long does that take?"

"It depends on what else is going on at the time, and there really is no set limit because of the way the Clause was written in to the Charter. The usual baseline for peace time before the brass gets picky is six months' service or around ten hours active service."

_Author's Notes:_

_First I appologize for taking so long to update this story I actaully have the rough drafts written for several chapter but I've just moved across the country and and before that I had to get my laptop replaced 3 times (that is a very long story so moving right along...) and I have to take it to get it fixed _again_ soon (I'm delaying that until we buy a house out here). So in other words real life intervened. Again I'm soooo sorry._

_I did the math to see if the times in this chapter match up. According to this picture:_ _.__ the Horse Head Nebula (which for the purposes of this story I've been using as the Cerberus base of Operations because for all we know it is where the Illusive Man is on the same base that Miranda and Jacob took her to during Mass Effect 2 (__.com/wiki/Cerberus#Mass_Effect_2__) is only two Mass Relays from Arcturus; Arcturus itself (which for some strange reason _never_ appears on the galaxy map in either of the Mass Effects) and the one in the Exodus Cluster._

_I made up the part about brevet commissions but it seems a relatively small leap considering that Shepard herself said "we didn't even know there were other species out there"._

_Also Garrus says there are no brevet commissions in the turian military, if you read __.com/wiki/Turian#Government__ it makes it seem as if they wouldn't have a brevet rank._


	25. Chapter 25 Rest

Once Garrus left, Kaidan finished filling out Garrus's forms. That done he checked to see if Kelly had flagged anything for his attention. She hadn't, which was a nice change. Kaidan sighed and plugged the encrypted OSD in his terminal. The terminal beeped at him and prompted him for the decryption base code. He tapped in the first string of digits. The terminal digested this for a moment then beeped at him again, prompting him for the second string of code which he tapped in. He was prompted for the final code string and perforce he typed it in.

Finally the data began to scroll across the screen. There was more information, courtesy of Watch Dog, taken directly from the Cerberus system. More interesting even then this was what Alliance intelligence had gotten from the agent they'd broken. According to the agent the shuttle that took Shepard and Miranda from the _MSV Beijing_, the _JS N626_, was captured by batarian slavers shortly after the stop at a space station in an unspecified location in the Horse Head Nebula.

Kaidan groaned, of all the luck. The Alliance didn't have the coordinates of the Cerberus installation in the Nebula, Shepard hadn't known them and Joker couldn't remember the exact coordinates just the system. Which while helpful didn't narrow it down for an in depth search. The coordinates were also wiped from the _Normandy_'s navigational records and EDI's memory core. The same thing was true of a lot of data about Cerberus. Which meant it was probably some sort of failsafe that was activated when anyone began removing the Cerberus bugs from the _Normandy._While Kaidan was certain they would eventually get the location from the Watch Dog because there were certain hints that the Watch Dog was on the station in the Horse Head Nebula, those three Cerberus operatives were couriers. This meant that they were one of the few connecting links between the separate cells of Cerberus.

The agents assigned to Illium had successfully tracked down which batarian ship had taken the shuttle and its three crewmen. Two of the Hensa class cruisers were identified as the _Had'per_ and the _Olemser_, which according to the Cerberus agents were the two ships that had survived their encounter with the _Normandy_ in the Tesla Nebula. The third Hensa cruiser was the _For'dal_ known to consistently take captured slaves directly to the batarian mining world of Camala.

Since the agent from Illium that the Alliance had broken was the senior of the two Cerberus operatives, Kaidan didn't hold much that the other agent would know the exact location of the Cerberus Base in the Horse Head Nebula. Therefore, he needed the crew from the _JS N626_, unfortunately they were currently guests in some random batarian slave work-camp; probably an Element Zero mine since it they'd likely been taken to Camala.

There was no way the Alliance or the Council would condone a prison break. Not unless he could find a damned good reason, and springing three Cerberus people from a batarian slave camp for military purposes was probably not a good enough reason to risk a war with the Terminus Systems. They needed Shepard in her right mind but could they afford to risk open war with the Reaper threat looming over the galaxy?

OoOoO

Shepard sat at her terminal once again digging through the main Cerberus computer core server. In the past few weeks she'd noticed the amount of time she spent as a Cerberus Dog was lessening gradually. For the first week she'd spent nearly all of her time a Dog, the next week the brief flashes when she was herself occurred every couple of days. By the end of the first month every other day she'd spent nearly an hour free of Cerberus, well her mind anyways. Now as she neared the end of her third month with Cerberus, she spent nearly four hours every day with her mind completely her own. She reveled in the freedom to think for herself, something she'd always taken for granted before. During theses hours of freedom she worked furiously to get everything she could about Cerberus to the Alliance.

When Cerberus was dead and dust she would be able to find someone somewhere that could figure out how to completely reverse what the Illusive Man had ordered done to her. In her mind she kept returning to the fluffy and romantic internal monologue of 'Kaidan, Kaidan, _Kaidan_…' She was very glad that no one else knew she was a closet romantic, even Kaidan hadn't figured it out yet. But actually she thought she might be in good company with Kaidan, Shepard had a sneaking suspicion that he was a closet romantic too. Which was nice, they could be sickeningly romantic to each other fulfilling their fluffiness quotient in private and not making any of their friends nauseous.

A week ago the Cerberus doctor had called her in for a checkup. Which was an odd thing really, she'd been up to her eyebrows, so to speak, in the Cerberus computer server. When she'd gone into the Med Bay, she'd been in her own right mind, not in the Dog's mind. As she was walking through the Med Bay door she'd known she could not go through the doctor's examinations with her mind free. She'd felt a grinding shift in her thinking and suddenly she was the Dog again. Shepard had wondered about that later, when she was once again herself. It seemed as if she was gaining a measure of control over her changes of mind, at least subconsciously.

The Illusive Man had kept her on the station since her mission to Titan and subsequent meeting with Kaidan on Arcturus. Shepard had been assigned to train troops, which she actually did enjoy but the Dog was getting restless, she craved action and something more interesting to do. Of course in her right mind Shepard was glad to be spared the…difficulty…of field missions in the service of Cerberus against anyone but particularly against the Alliance.

OoOoO

She sat back with a sigh, Shepard was at it agian. Well good, Cerberus and the Illusive Man deserved to burn for what they'd done to her. _'And I will gladly help and revel in their demise.'_

She began tapping on her own keyboard, cleaning up Shepard's hacking trail. Shepard was good she had give the woman credit but the Captain was being watched closely and the Cerberus somputer system was designed to be very paranoid about security.

OoOoO

Kaidan was reading over Tali's monthly report from engineering when the door opened and he turned to see who it was. Tali was walking towards him as the door shut behind her. "Commander, I got a message from the Admiralty Board just a few minutes ago. They've decided on who's going to take my father's place." Kaidan cocked his head her voice had a strange undertone.

Kaidan waved her to a seat. When she was settled Kaidan watched her for a moment, observing her body language. She also seemed slightly apprehensive based on that he guessed, "You?"

Tali nodded, "I never thought I would be asked to serve."

Kaidan nodded in complete understanding, he never thought he would end up acting captain of the _Normandy_, nevermind being a Spectre candidate "Congratulations, Tali. Is there some sort of induction ceremony?"

Tali nodded, "Han'Garrel's message to me indicated that since I'm serving aboard the _Normandy_, the ceremony can take place at my convenience."

Kaidan nodded, "We can go to the Migrant Fleet after our next mission."

Tali nodded, "Thank you, Commander." she stood up and left his office.

Kaidan turned back to face his desk again. It took him several moments to collect his thoughts and return to Tali's engineering report. When he realized that he was only taking in one word in three Kaidan shut down his terminal and sat back in his chair with a sigh. The problem of the captured Cerberus agents was bothering Kaidan more then he would like to admit. There had to be a way to take them from batarian custody without sparking a galactic war. Of course there was, but every idea he'd had to that end was suicidal, impractical or insane, and usually all three at once.

Kaidan's internal mantra of '_need data dammit_' was becoming insistent. To that end he'd asked Liara to reach out to her contacts and get any information about Camala that she could. So far she'd been less then successful, unfortunately. Kaidan shook his head, he really needed something more to convince Admiral Hackett that a raid to free said Cerberus Dogs was a good idea. Hackett's sardonic, "And when the Reapers roll back into town they will be awed by our galactic civil war," had highlighted _exactly_ what Kaidan had been telling himself.

Turning his terminal back on, Kaidan filed Tali's engineering report to read later and pulled up everything he had on Cerberus. If he could get his hands on the crew of that shuttle he would hit Cerberus some other way. Time to put his anti-Cerberus group to work; speaking of which he really needed to find a _name_ for his team. Hackett, ever the sarcastic man that he was, had suggested that Kaidan choose something before Hackett's own staff officers thought up their own nickname for Kaidan's group and it stuck. Kaidan shook his head silently and stood to go change into his combat hardsuit.

Primea informed him yesterday that the Council had one final mission for him, after which he would be fully inducted into the Spectres; joy. Kaidan wasn't entirely certain he wanted to become a Spectre but he was resigned to his fate. His main apprehension lay in the amount of flak he saw Shepard take from the Council during their hunt for Saren; and what Shepard told him she'd had to take, particularly from the Turian Councilor, when she was reinstated into the Spectres after coming back from the dead.

The mission was a follow up against the Batarian Liberation Front in retaliation for their attack on the turian patrol. The Salarian Special Task Group had come up with the location of the BLF's main base. The fact that the STG had been able to find the BLF's main base so quickly attested to the organization's lack of counter intelligence ability. Particularly when compared with Cerberus's extremely frustrating ability to stay hidden, which had no bearing on the mission against the BLF but it still annoyed Kaidan no end.

This particular mission was going to be in conjunction with C-Sec. Since this was Kaidan's last evaluation mission he would be in charge with Primea as his second. The basic idea was to surround the base and take down communications while denying the batarians the chance to use their spacecraft to escape. According to the reports that C-Sec had on the BLF headquarters there were between a hundred and fifty to two hundred personnel on the base.

As far as Kaidan could see from the base layout the problem wasn't going to be getting into the base itself the problem was going to be keeping the batarians from barricading themselves in their armory. Hence step one of Kaidan's plan involved putting Tali, Legion and himself on the ground twelve full hours before the mission's official zero hour. Personally, Kaidan was not looking forward to the twelve kilometer jog from thedrop site to the BLF headquarters.

Kaidan looked up and registered how late it was and pushed away from the desk. He ran his fingers through his hair then rubbed his eyes. He was running on the ragged edge of exhaustion, but he could not make himself stop. Nor did he want to. He didn't want to have time to think. Kaidan usually found ways to keep busy so he didn't have time to think about what he was doing. But if he was going into combat in eight hours he needed to sleep.

The music coming from his clock stereo started and Kaidan woke with a start. Kaidan stood and stumbled to the bathroom to take a shower. Truely awake now he pulled open one of the desk drawers and pulled out a two ration bars and began munching on them as he leaned over to check his messages. There were two, one from his father and the other from his cousin Heath. Kaidan smiled slightly, he would read them later.

With a sigh Kaidan strode down the stairs and to the closet to pull on his N-7 armor and check his weapons. That done, Kaidan checked the time he still had a while before he had to rendezvous with Tali and Legion at the shuttle. With a sigh he sank down on the bed and buried his face in his hands. The stereo shuffled to another song. Some asari orchestral music began to play and Kaidan groaned, he really needed to update his playlist. He skipped to the next song, and then the next. Then he shut the stereo down with a sigh.

Kaidan looked at the closet door for a moment and cocked his head in thought. He stood and walked to the closet and rummaged around for a moment. He stood back triumphantly holding his Gibson J-90. He hadn't played in a very long time so perhaps he was overdue. Considering his current emotional upheaval he might actually be able to write something worth listening to, not that he was considering going back into that life, but it was a nice hobby that had sort of dropped by the way side since he was assigned to the new _Normandy_.

Kaidan pulled off his thick gloves and strapped the guitar on. After stretching his fingers briefly he strummed a few chords and sighed in pleasure. He could feel some of the pent up tension in his shoulders ease as he began playing one of his old songs. A smile of contentment spread across his face as he finished the first song and started strumming another one of his own songs. This was… nice. That was such an inaccurate word to describe it, but he couldn't think of anything better. It was like meeting an old friend and reconnecting with him. Unbidden, Shepard's face floated across his mind's eye and Kaidan started strumming a few random chords. A solemn melody began to fill the air; no lyrics came to his mind just music. Sometimes it happened that way. He followed the string of the bittersweet melody to the end and sighed opening his eyes. He brushed his hand across his face and looked down at his fingers, they were wet. He'd been crying.

_Author's Notes: Twelve Kilometers equates to 7.43 miles which I have to say is quite a hike. _

_I made up the Gibson J-90 so far as I know the highest number I found in the J series on their website was 45 but I figure they would get up to 90 sometime before Mass Effect and since I think Kaidan would like have a classic it fit, so please forgive my artistic license._


	26. Chapter 26 Smug

Something to do finally, she was leading a mission against the Batarian Hegemony. The Illusive Man was interested in the Hegemony's new truth serum. The batarians were using it on political prisoners it caused the senses to be enhanced so they only needed to apply light torture methods to get the information they wanted.

Standing in the cockpit of the drop shuttle she watched the batarian groundside base get closer in the viewport. They landed with barley a bump. Lauren was an even better pilot than Shepard was led to believe. Shepard led her squad out of the shuttle at a run. She and her forward squad took control of the gatehouse at speed. All four of the batarians gate guards died in the initial assault. After studying the control panel for a few moments Shepard pressed a couple of buttons and the gate obligingly opened, too bad it wasn't at all quiet when it did so.

More of Shepard's squad joined them in the gatehouse and Shepard led a team of twelve through the open gate. Shepard missed having elite fighters at her back, but it didn't matter now. She led her people as they stormed through the facility. They didn't meet anyone as they ran along the first corridor until they reached the first junction. Shepard had to give the batarians some credit, they almost took her by surprise. Shepard raked the group of five batarian rocket troopers with her assault rifle. Three of the batarians went down to her solo assault before she ducked back against the wall for what limited cover it could provide. Shepard's squad took out the other two batarians. One of her people went down, Shepard shook her head as she knelt beside the unfortunate man; one shot, incendiary rocket upper right torso internal bleeding, probably collapsed lung as well. Shepard stood and ordered two of her man to carry the injured man back to the shuttle for medical treatment.

When they were gone, Shepard led her squad around the next bend and into the chemical interrogation and storage unit. Shepard looked around the room and smiled grimly; mission accomplished.

OoOoO

Kaidan leaned nonchalantly against the compound entrance watching the C-Sec shuttle land. Tali struck a similar pose on the outside wall of the building a few feet behind him. Primea disembarked from the shuttle followed closely by Captain Bailey, Thane and his son Kolyat. Kaidan didn't even try to restrain the smug grin that spread across his face as the four walked up to him. Bailey's face was a study in deepest respect, "I never thought I'd see the day when a battle was won without a single shot being fired." Kaidan's grin widened as he shook the man's proffered hand.

Kolyat's face reflected something akin to hero worship, which surprised Kaidan when he recalled everything Shepard had reported about the young drell and considering how Kolyat had acted during their last meeting. "That was amazing!" Kolyat breathed. Kaidan heard Primea snort and saw her shake her head.

"Thank you Kolyat." the young drell captured Kaidan's hand and shook it heartily. Kaidan cleared his throat, "I need that back now, kid." Kolyat looked embarrassed as he let go of Kaidan's hand reluctantly.

Kaidan pulled his mind back to business with a slight shake of his head. To Bailey he said, "The battle's not over just yet Captain we still have to round them up."

Kolyat piped up, "But you locked them up and now they can't-"

Primea lightly smacked the teen on the back of the head, "Quiet; hasn't Bailey taught you not to interrupt yet?" Thane looked as if he didn't know whether to defend his son or reprimand him as well. He finally just shook his head and said nothing.

For his part Kolyat looked a bit sheepish and nodded, he turned to his superior, "Sorry, Captain."

"That's alright, kid. Go get geared up, you can help with the clean up." an absolutely joyful grin spread across Kolyat's face and he turned and ran off.

Thane turned to Captain Bailey and bowed formally and deeply, "Captain you have my eternal gratitude. You have freed my son from the dark detachment that I feared would consume his soul. He is free of the taint of my sins."

Bailey looked taken aback for a moment before he slowly shook his head, "I didn't do it alone Thane. Whatever you said to him made him choose to change himself, I just gave him something to aspire to." Bailey cleared his throat and turned back to Kaidan, "how exactly did you manage to lock down a terrorist base with a staff of one hundred and seventy-eight without firing your weapons once?"

Kaidan's smile, which had dimmed during Thane's speech, morphed into a broad smirk and Kaidan responded with an unusual amount of sarcastic swagger for him, "We're just that good."

Primea choked and Bailey snorted in amusement and responded with an equal amount of sarcasm, "I am humbled to be in the presence of such masters."

Kaidan laughed and clapped Bailey on the shoulder as Kolyat came running up to them in a C-Sec blue and black combat hardsuit like the one the Captain Bailey wore, "Ready, sir!" Kaidan saw Primea roll her eyes skyward and Kaidan had to restrain a laugh. He never thought he would see someone actually _annoy_ the unflappable upright warrior, but Kolyat's new hero worship of Kaidan seemed to have succeeded in getting under Primea's skin remarkably fast. Kaidan almost wished that Kolyat would go back to being an angsty seventeen year old again, as annoying as it had been, anything was better than the hero worship. Exactly why the young drell had chosen Kaidan as a focus for this he wasn't entirely sure, not that it mattered, but Kaidan was glad that the teen wasn't going to be with them after this mission against the BLF was over.

The seven of them were armed to the teeth and as they went through the base opening door room by room none of the trapped Batarians so much a drew a weapon, never mind firing one. Kaidan was pleasantly surprised by this but decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and enjoy the ease with which such a difficult and dangerous mission was completed.

After all of the batarian prisoners were loaded onto the C-Sec prison ship for transport, Kaidan, Legion and Tali led Thane and Primea through the base to the main security office. Kaidan relaxed slightly once they enter the office. This was the room that his advanced team had used to override the entire security grid on the base just like Kaidan had done on Mannovai. Though the BLF's security system was far less complex. It was almost insulting how easy the bypass was for the three highly skilled hackers. Anyone of the members of the advanced team could have broken through the encryption in about five minutes; with the three of them working on it the system firewalls had crumble in about five _seconds_.

Legion and Tali began flash downloading everything on the BLF's system to a secure terminal. While the two of them were doing that Kaidan took Primea aside and asked her in an undertone, "What's going to happen now?"

Primea's mandibles opened in a turian smile, "You must have seen Lieutenant Commander Shepard's induction into the Spectres, though the circumstances were rushed, the ceremony itself was not." Kaidan let out a breath in relief and nodded in understanding. Primea laughed, "you don't like political maneuvering or rhetoric, though for a soldier you are unusually skilled at both."

Kaidan cleared his throat and laughed nervously, "Umm..." seeking to change the subject Kaidan looked over to where Thane stood watching Tali and Legion. Kaidan heard the terminal beep, Tali looked up at him and noticing that Kaidan was watching her Tali nodded, Kaidan nodded back saying, "let's get back to the _Normandy_."

OoOoO

Shepard sat back with a sigh and a self satisfied smile. She had just succeeded in placing a spy program in the Cerberus server. Now the Alliance would know everything that Cerberus was doing. They would get the locations of all Cerberus Cells and information about the Illusive Man's financial records. Including, hopefully, the front companies and private investors where the Illusive Man got all his money from.

Shepard had spent days working out most of the coding for the spy program in her head. Aside from the fact that she wasn't sure she could hide such programming in the Cerberus system it kept her mind occupied and off everything else. Like Kaidan. While she knew he didn't hate her, she knew he really did think she'd chosen Cerberus because she believed in what it stood for. As she brooded over this she erased her user logs and abolished all records of her latest system incursions.

Shepard stood and changed into her pajamas. The change back to the Dog was coming and she wanted to be laying down when it happened. The cyclic changes were becoming more and more painful to endure. It hurt less when she forced the change herself, but there was nothing she could do about that yet. With a sigh she turned off the lights and lying down in her bed she pulled the covers over her head. When the change induced migraine hit she clenched her eyes shut and whimpered in pain.

OoOoO

After forwarding a copy of the data from BLF's mainframe to C-Sec, Admiral Hackett and Primea, Kaidan sat at his desk to sift through the data himself. He'd asked Garrus to do the same.

They were specifically looking for any ties the BLF had to the Batarian Hegemony. It didn't take long for Kaidan to find several connections. All he had to do was pull up the ship purchase records and the financial records. Kaidan was no financial expert but from just a cursory glance it looked like the Hegemony had fronted the money for the BLF's initial start up costs. It also looked like the Hegemony had sold used military grade weapons and several Hensa class ships at a reduced rate to the BLF as well as buying anything the BLF seized from any Citadel allied military factions; C-Sec, the Systems Alliance, the Turian Hierarchy Military, the Salarian Special Task Group or the Asari Commando Squads. The BLF was a privateer faction in other words.

Kaidan felt his hackles rising and several choice words floated across his mind. He squelched them firmly and began searching for any slaver connections. After several minutes of search he found several manifest for "animals". Kaidan swallowed hard and his eyes slid shut as her remembered a random day in the Alliance docking bay a very disturbed nineteen year old girl. Talitha's disturbed cry of '_animals don't have names!_' rang through his mind. Shepard's reassuring and calming voice '_you'll dream of a warm place and when you wake up you'll be there._' Kaidan sniffed and rubbed his eyes. Slavery was so ingrained in batarian culture that the Hegemony decried the Council's law against slavery as 'prejudicial'; the bastards.

The batarian treatment of their slaves, particularly their human slaves, was beyond horrible. They wired every slave's brain with some sort of control system. From all accounts the batarians enjoyed torturing their slaves as well. Most rescued or escaped batarian ex-slaves were traumatized to complete mental disassociation of self '_she pretends to be dead; if she's dead she can't work.'_ Kaidan shook his head Talitha had a happy ending, she was lucky, but she was so _broken_. Even knowing that Talitha had her warm place, her home, Kaidan was still bothered by what she'd said that day. Kaidan was honest enough with himself that he could admit the reason he was pushing to go after the Cerberus agents on Camala. He _wanted_ to stick it to the brutal batarian slavers and deprive them of some of their victims.

Kaidan was interrupted in the middle of his brooding by the conference room door opening. Kaidan turned around in his chair still slightly abstracted. Primea stood there just looking at him. Kaidan cocked his head in question. Primea mimicked him her eyes alight with amusement and Kaidan grinned. Primea's mandibles opened in a turian smile, "Let me be the first to congratulate you, Commander Alenko, on becoming a Spectre."

Kaidan blanched, though his expression did not change, "Thank you."

Primea laughed, "It's not a death sentence Kaidan. Being a Spectre is an honor."

Kaidan snorted derisively, "An honor that comes with answering directly to bureaucrats."

Primea laughed, "It really isn't all that bad."

"The Turian Councilor dismissed or argued with every decision and action that Shepard made during our mission against Saren Arterius. And according to Councilor Anderson and Shepard, he completely dismisses the Reaper-" Kaidan cut himself and looked up sharply, focusing on Primea.

Primea picked up the chair in front of Kaidan's desk and turning it around sat on it backwards, "Kaidan, I'm going to be honest with you, not a lot of people actually _do_ believe that the Reaper threat is real," Kaidan opened his mouth to say something but Primea waved her hand to silence him. He nodded and she continued, "while I am reasonably convinced that the Reapers _are_ a threat, there really isn't much proof with which to convince others of this."

Kaidan sighed and sat back in his chair, "I know that and I think even Shepard," Kaidan paused for a moment and swallowed before going on, "realizes this. But it's not going to stop me from trying to get people to listen to us."

Primea shook her head, "You aren't soliciting advice from me and I recognize that, but I'm going to give it to you anyways: don't try to convince people of the truth. If they don't want to see the light they won't and they'll ignore you, if they do happen to eventually see the light they'll hate you for being right."

Kaidan sat up abruptly and snapped, "If I do nothing and they come it's the end of everything."

Primea nodded, "I didn't suggest that you should do nothing. All I said was not to try to convince others of the truth. Build your forces, put backup plans place." her voice took on a growling timbre as she went on, "come on Alenko your better at strategy then this. You excel in tactical maneuvering and back door plans; _play to your strengths_. Approach this like it's just another mission."

Kaidan half smiled in irony, "The stakes are a lot higher if I fall short this time. I'm usually just risking my life, now I'm risking the galaxy."

Primea nodded solemnly, "Step back and start one of your strategy trees for this. And if you're right and you actually do succeed in getting Shepard back show talk to her about. From what I understand she's more straight forward than you but she may have some interesting insights that you lack."

Kaidan nodded thoughtfully, "Thank you, Primea."

Primea nodded and standing she offered her hand to Kaidan, "Remember, even though you're a full Spectre doesn't mean you can't ask your mentor for help or advice."

Kaidan shook Primea's hand, and nodding said solemnly, "I'll keep that in mind, Primea."

Primea's mandibles opened in a smile again, "See that you do." she turned and left the room.

_Author's Notes: I couldn't find a specific age for Kolyat anywhere. I decided to make him a teenager because of the way he acted in Mass Effect 2. _

_A note on Shepard's line of thought just to clarify: While Kaidan does know that Shepard did not rejoin Cerberus willingly but Shepard is unaware of this fact. She only knows what she told him herself, that something strange was happening to her and she was becoming increasingly emotional and violent. She was not conscious when Dr. T'Inga briefed Kaidan on her condition. Also, Shepard does _not_ know how Cerberus turned her into the 'Dog' (she's hasn't found that information on the Cerberus mainframe yet) just that something was done to her that made her loyal to the Illusive Man. Therefore the only group that actually knows how to reverse what was done to Shepard is the Illusive Mand and a small unnamed team of scientist, Miranda only has a general idea of what she helped do to Shepard. Everyone else (Kaidan, T'Inga, Chakwas, Admiral Hackett) only have theories to go on at this point._

_I had to re-watch the "I Remember Me" scene several times. So many thanks to Stealthspectre who posted the video of the paragon version of the mission: __.com/watch?v=YzKYHi12pZ8_


	27. Chapter 27 Forward

The _Normandy_ docked at the Citadel ten hours later. Kaidan stood in the cockpit behind Joker wearing his Systems Alliance ultra formal parade uniform complete with the blue beret on his head and service medals on his chest. Kaidan wasn't sure he needed to be so formal but better to be over dressed then under dressed. When he'd asked Primea she'd said during her induction ceremony she'd worn her own Turian Military parade uniform.

Kaidan shifted slightly and the sword on his left hip clanked against the back Joker's pilot chair. Kaidan groaned taking a firm hold on the hilt of the sword and resisting the urge to try to kick the blasted thing. Kaidan really would have liked to know why the Alliance brass thought it necessary to have something as archaic as a _sword_ included in the parade uniform.

"Visitors, Commander Alenko," Joker announced, he was unusually empty of snarky comments on Kaidan's uniform. Kaidan was slightly disappointed some of Joker's sarcastic comments would have helped him to relax.

After the airlock opened Kaidan turned to face Councilor David Anderson and his assistant Ambassador Donnell Udina. The smile on Anderson's face was as reassuring and open as Udina's was closed and calculating. Anderson offered Kaidan his hand, "Congratulations, Alenko."

"Thank you, sir." Kaidan shook proffered hand then Udina's, "third time's the charm."

Anderson chuckled and nodded, "Apparently. I need to go, now. I'll see you after the Council meeting." he shook Kaidan's hand again nodded to Kaidan and left the _Normandy_.

Kaidan stood at parade rest regarding Udina. Udina cleared his throat and Kaidan's mouth twitched but he didn't change expression. Kaidan did not like Udina but he would not give that man any fuel against him. Although to Udina's credit he didn't seem to be the sort of person to have personal enemies. Udina was certainly capable of _making_ enemies though. Shepard and Anderson didn't like him either, though Shepard seemed to consider Udina a minor irritant and Anderson used the man for his connections on the Citadel.

Udina shifted slightly and said, "I read the report that Dr. T'Inga wrote about Shepard's condition. She and I may not always see eye to eye but no one deserves to have their choices taken from them."

Kaidan's mind hiccupped to a stop at this; he never would have thought that Udina would agree with Shepard on such a fundamental thing. Kaidan nodded slightly, "Thank you. Shepard would agree with you on that." Kaidan heard footsteps in the CIC and looked up. Garrus was walking towards him in a outfit that was the same shade of blue as the alliance military dress uniform. Kaidan smiled and nodded to Garrus who nodded back.

Kaidan turned and took the few steps back up to the cockpit. He tapped the brim of Joker's SR-2 baseball cap, "Coming, Commander Alenko." Kaidan grinned, Joker was not happy. Kaidan had insisted that Joker wear the dress blues to Kaidan's initiation into the Spectres. Kaidan jumped back as Joker spun his chair around and stood carefully.

"The hat Joker."

Joker glowered at Kaidan as the pilot took his hat off and put it in his chair. Joker ran his hands through his short curly hair a couple of times and then stood as straight as he was able and saluted Kaidan, "Ready Commander Alenko."

Udina cleared his throat again and Kaidan turned to look at the Ambassador, "Councilor Anderson asked me to escort you and your chosen officers to the Citadel tower."

Kaidan had a sneaking suspicion that Anderson had asked Udina to escort them so that Anderson wouldn't have to deal with Udina himself, "Lead on Udina."

Udina led the three of them to the Citadel Tower. Kaidan was beginning to feel nervous again as Udina waved Kaidan, Garrus and Joker onto the platform in front of the four Councilors.

The Asari councilor smiled down at Kaidan. She looked at her fellow Councilors in question, they all nodded. Then all four Council members pressed a button on their personal terminals and Councilor Anderson said, "Staff Commander Alenko, step forward," Kaidan did so.

The Asari Councilor started, "It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Branch of the Citadel."

The Salarian Councilor went on, "Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

The Turian Councilor picked up the thread, "Spectres are an ideal, a symbol; the embodiment of courage, determination and self- reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."

The Councilor Anderson continued, "Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."

Kaidan nodded his head in lieu of a formal salute and cleared his suddenly tight throat, "Thank you for this honor and trust Councilors."

The Turian Councilor stated, "Your mission is to track down Spectre and Captain Lucille Shepard and undo what was done to her by the organization that calls itself Cerberus."

Councilor Anderson added, "The Cerberus Group is considered a terrorist organization so you are authorized to engage this group with any means at your disposal."

The Salarian Councilor finished, "This meeting of the Council is adjourned." the Councilors left their dais.

Kaidan closed his eyes and took a deep breath and let it out. "Kaidan?" he turned to face them and raised an eyebrow at Garrus as he went on, "are you alright?"

Kaidan breathed an ironic laugh, "_I'm_ fine."

Garrus looked at him for a moment then nodded slowly, "But Cerberus won't be."

Joker was looking at Kaidan's face as well, "Cerberus is goin' down," Joker's trade mark smirk spread across his face, "the invincible object meets the irresistible force. I almost feel sorry for the Illusive Man; almost."

A vicious predatory smile spread across Kaidan face as he said, "Of course when I'm done he's going to be dead to care."

Garrus looked troubled as he said, "For revenge?"

The smile vanished and Kaidan shook his head slowly, "I would kill that man for what he did to Shepard. But no, he won't die just for revenge."

Garrus looked skeptical, "Really? Are you going to tell me it's justice?"

Kaidan snorted in amusement, "Hardly, I'd prefer to take 'The Illusive Man' prisoner; make him answer for everything that Cerberus has done. But _Shepard_ is my priority here. Do you really think he'll just let me take her back?"

Garrus blinked and sounded enlightened when he answered back, "I hadn't thought of it that way."

"It's Hubris, plain and simple. He brought her back from the dead and now he thinks he owns her. Even if she-" Kaidan broke off abruptly and his eyes narrowed in thought. He stood there for silently for several moments thinking before he went on, "even if that man thinks he made Shepard into his _dog_." Kaidan finished with a significant look at Garrus.

Garrus 's blue eyes narrowed in thought, After a moment of thought Garrus shook his head and opened his mouth to say something and stopped. Garrus replayed what Kaidan had said in his mind. Garrus's eyes widened in sudden realization and he closed his mouth with a slight click. "You think…" Kaidan raised his hand with a significant look around, Garrus nodded in understanding.

Joker, who wasn't privy to the Alliance intelligence reports asked, sounding as though he didn't think he would get an answer, "Okay, what'd I miss?"

Kaidan laughed and gently clapped Joker on the back, "Let's get back to the _Normandy_."

OoOoO

Shepard was engrossed in writing a status report to update the Illusive Man on the progress of the unit she'd trained and taken on the mission against the batarians when the door chimed. Shepard typed in a few more words before standing with a sigh and after another glance at her terminal's screen she walked towards her door. Before she was half way across her quarters the door slid open to reveal an armed squad.

Shepard froze her eyes widening surprise, "What?" the soldiers charged into her room. Despite her confusion Shepard reacted instantly and dodge backwards to grab her pistol from where she'd left it hanging with her N-7 armor. She fired two shots at the lead Cerberus Dog; both were absorbed by his kinetic barrier. She muttered a black curse and proceeded to wear out her thermal clip on the man. His shield overloaded and he dropped, dead before he hit the floor. Total elapsed time since the Dog had burst into her quarters, about five seconds.

Seeing that three more Dogs were in her room she abandoned her pistol in favor of her assault rifle. She began firing; strangely enough the Dogs didn't draw their weapons and fire back. That could only mean one thing, they wanted her alive. Shepard hissed as another of the Dogs went down. Then the third Dog got in too close, he aimed a punch at her stomach and she dodged drawing him further from the door and his fellows. She threw him back using her biotics and then turned to warp the fourth Dog's barrier, then she shot him point blank range in the stomach. The third Dog was pulling himself to his feet when she warped his shield and shot him as well. By this time the three final Dogs had entered the fray and one of them succeed in grabbing her from behind. She stepped back next to the Dog that was holding her wrist from behind and dropped to her knees throwing him forward into his two fellows.

Shepard lifted the muzzle of her rifle and raked the three man pile up on the floor in front of her. There were a couple of screams and then the pile stopped moving. Her stomach lurched as she realized that the Illusive Man had sent seven of the men from her own squad to take her down; the bastard. '_No time, now. Later, you can fall apart. Move now Luci or you won't be able to!_' Shepard grabbed her N-7 armor and pulled it on then put a new thermal clip in her pistol and assault rifle as she ran out the door of her quarters.

Shepard didn't get very far before the station alarm sound. She cursed blackly under her breath as she continued to run for the shuttle bay. When she got there the door was shut as per regulations in an all departments alert. She skidded to a stop at the wall terminal next to the door and began bypassing the security lock down. She was nearly through the encryption when the sounds of boots rang in the distance; she ground her teeth and tried to work faster. Just as the door slide open a squad of soldiers came around the far corner behind her and she dodged into the shuttle bay.

Shepard ran to the nearest jump shuttle and activated the ramp. It opened with what seemed to her like indecent slowness and she ran up the ramp before it was fully extended. Before she could close the ship one of the soldiers stepped onto the bottom of the ramp she drew her pistol to fire but it was too late for that; he fired his weapon first. Not projectile weapon but a taser. Shepard dropped to one knee panting heavily resisting the urge to scream. It felt like her body was on fire.

The soldier growled a curse at her and raised his taser to fire a second time. Shepard rolled sloppily to the right and rose to her feet unsteadily. She knew she couldn't take another shot and stay conscious. But for the Cerberus regeneration implants, she would be unconscious now. She felt like she was going throw up or pass out as it was. Shepard stepped forward and aimed a punch at her attacker's jaw as two of the other soldiers both fired their weapons at her.

Shepard felt the electricity arc through her body. It felt like an eternity but Shepard knew it was less than a second, she hadn't even hit the floor yet when she blacked out.

OoOoO

Kaidan and Garrus stood in the back of the _Reyya_'s garden plaza as Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Reyya was called up to the dais by Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay. The rest of the Admiralty Board stood behind Shala'Raan. Shala'Raan spoke in a quarian dialect that Kaidan's translator wasn't programmed for. Kaidan wondered if it was the quarian equivalent of human Latin, an ancient dialogue that was brushed off for official ceremonies only. After several minutes of this Shala'Raan stepped back and Tali stepped forward on the dais to address the crowd speaking first in the untranslated quarian dialect then in the modern quarian tongue she said, "I am Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Reyya loyal daughter if the quarian race and leader of the Migrant Fleet."

The assembled quarians cheered and Kaidan and Garrus joined them. The five admirals stepped down from the dais and Tali walked over to Kaidan and Garrus. The three of them stood in silence for a few moments before Kaidan said, "Congratulations, Tali."

"Thank you, Kaidan."

OoOoO

When Shepard awoke she passionately wished someone would come by and put her out of her misery. She didn't even try open her eyes. Even _breathing_ hurt. She heard a beeping noise. Oddly it sound both right over her head and echoed slightly like the sound was coming from a great distance. Shepard distantly heard a door slide open or possibly shut; she couldn't tell which at the moment. Several footsteps then a man spoke, "Welcome back Shepard." the Illusive Man. Shepard summoned enough strength to grunt in response, "When you've recovered more you are going to tell me how you managed to beat my Indoctrination. Then you're going to tell me everything you passed to the Alliance."

_Author's Note: okay just so you all know I haven't been posting because I don't have internet at home. But the good news is the rest of the story is written, so I've not been idle. Thank you all for the reviews and the favorites._

_Eternalshiva: I am sorry about the French, as you likely guessed I do not know the language at all the French that is in the story I got from a translation program online so that's why everything is so very wrong. I don't think I'll be using anymore French in the story but if I do rest assured I will pm you for help. So thanks for that. Also about Shepard's actions, that was mostly deliberate, she's had her brain fucked with so she not thinking to clearly._

_Elisa T: Thank you for you review. First and formost alot of things that you point out in review are the result of my in experience as a writer and because in my head the story started when Shepard and Kaiden were attacked so I needed to get them both to that point. I know I could have done a better job getting them there. If I go beck and edit this story rest assured that the things you have pointed out will be the first to be changed because I noticed them myself as Im going back through the story so I can post it._

_Century Exai: Play through the games as pure paragon then destroy the Collectors base, talk to the Illusive Man as pure paragon then you will see my justification. And also the trailers for ME 3 have you fighting Cerberus._

_Kaidan initiation into the Spectres is nearly identical to Shepard's with a very minor change. Many thanks to CptGemini who posted this video .com/watch?v=H_MW0hplZTQ of Shepard's __Awesome Moment of Crowning __induction ceremony._


	28. Chapter 28 Sleep

Shepard sat in the floor of her cell with her back to the wall opposite the door. She was hugging her knees to her chest. In addition to the anti-biotic collar around her neck, her wrists were circled with thick metal cuffs that zapped her whenever she tried to use more of her strength then was required for ordinary movements. It had taken Shepard's body three days to heal from the four taser blasts she'd received in the shuttle bay. If she didn't have the regeneration implants Cerberus had used to bring her back she would have been on the floor after the first one.

For the five days since Shepard had fully recovered the Illusive Man had had Shepard interrogated. When she thought about the questioner's reaction to her continued reticence she couldn't help the feral grin that spread across her face. The man had no appreciation for Shepard's snarking, but he did have a temper and it was rather easy to provoke now that she knew how to push his buttons. Most people would consider provoking an interrogator suicidal, but Shepard found it extremely useful. Of course she would have to start over now with a new interrogator. The Illusive Man would probably replace the old one particularly after that last session. Shepard half-consciously rubbed her left cheek with the back of her hand.

OoOoO

Kaidan stood with Garrus and Liara next to Captain Bailey's desk in the Zakera Wards C-Sec headquarters waiting. Bailey was sitting at his desk typing on his terminal and also waiting, a few moments later their patience was rewarded and two C-sec agents brought in Balak. Balak was not fighting his guards as they walked him into an interrogation room. A few moments later the agents came out of the room and stood on either side of the door. Bailey shook his head and commented to Kaidan, "I doubt you'll get very much out of that one Commander, he's a tough one."

Kaidan nodded slowly, "I know that, but he's probably the only one that we've picked up so far that has the information I need." a feral smile spread across Kaidan face and he said, "I'll get what I want, whether Balak wants to give it to me or not."

Bailey shook his head, "Good luck," he waved his hand in the direction of the interrogation room Balak was in, "he's all yours."

Kaidan nodded, "Thank you."

As he walked across the office, Kaidan heard Bailey sigh part envy part annoyance and mutter "Spectres." under his breath. Kaidan snorted in amusement as he walked into the interrogation room with Garrus and Liara following him.

Balak was strapped to the room's table and watching the three of them enter serenely. His eyes narrowed in concentration and Balak looked at Kaidan's face closely. Balak's focus went to Garrus's for a moment then to Liara's and he looked from her face back to Kaidan and then Balak's eyes widened in recognition then narrowed in anger. But he didn't say anything.

Kaidan noticed the recognition and smiled grimly, "Shepard told you we would find you." something in Balak's four eyes sparked, like that steel had struck flint; but he still didn't say anything. Kaidan nodded, "you do remember me then, good." Kaidan walked to Balak's side, "I want to thank you Balak."

Balak's eyes widened and he focused on Kaidan's face again this time in surprise; again he still didn't say anything. Kaidan shook his head in grim amusement, "Your organization's lack of computer security and decent encryption allowed me to shut down your entire security grid and shut every door in your headquarters. I took down the entire Batarian Liberation Front without firing a single shot."

Balak ground his teeth so hard Kaidan could actually hear it. He continued in this vein, "But then I knew your organization was joke on X57. Three of us took down how many of your," Kaidan chuckled, "'elites'?"

Balak's eyes narrowed and he snapped, "That was different, Shepard's a Spectre."

Kaidan smiled coldly sarcastic, "Oh yes very different, three of us rendered all one hundred seventy-eight members of your headquarters staff moot without any of us even drawing our weapons."Kaidan laughed, "and since I took down your little organization, I've been inducted into the Spectres." Kaidan paced around Balak to his other side, "so really. Thank you for being so lax with your security protocols."

Kaidan chuckled again and walked back around to Balak's other side, "You were right, the BLF's compound was nothing like your loss on X57," Kaidan paused a moment for dramatic effect, "it was worse."

Balak his eyes still narrowed, "What do you want?"

"What makes you think I didn't just come here to taunt you _General_ Balak?"

Balak growled lowly, "What do you want from _me_ that you can't get from my files?"

Kaidan leaned over Balak's face, "Tell me about this Batarian Rebellion that the Hegemony has been having so many problems with."

OoOoO

Shepard was led into yet another science lab come torture chamber by her usual two laconic guards. They forced her to kneel at a low table then securely strapped her down at her hands and elbows so that the pale inside of her forearms were facing up. The two guards then proceeded to similarly strap her ankles to the floor. This seemed like a pointless exercise to Shepard, the table was thick blocky thing made of steel, bolted to the floor securely _and_ probably weighed twice what Shepard herself did. She heard movement behind her but she didn't try to turn and see who was moving behind her. Instead she looked at the room around her, well in front of her, since there was really no way she was going to be able to turn strapped down as she was.

Eventually three people came around front behind her. The first was clearly a scientist, some wicked looking device with needles attached to it clutched in his hands. The second was the Illusive Man, "Shepard, this is Dr. Abbott, he specializes in chemical interrogation." the third was Miranda; her expression was one of deep disquiet. Abbott proceeded to strap the device onto to the metal table. The device fit securely over her bare forearms and there were syringes over both of her wrists exactly positioned to go into the large vein in both of her wrists. Shepard watched the doctor with passive interest, no matter what drug was in those syringes it wouldn't matter. She could, no she _would_ with stand chemical torture.

There was amusement in the Illusive Man's voice when he observed, "I can see you're not particularly worried about this," Shepard looked up as the Illusive Man waved at Abbott and his chemical delivery device, "the drug that Dr. Abbott will be using is the pentothal derivative that you relieved the batarians of. On the batarians it causes the senses to be enhanced so that they barely even need to torture to get the information they want. I've learned that on humans it's a near perfect truth serum." the Illusive Man paused seeming to consider what he was going to say next carefully, "I don't want to damage you, Shepard, anymore now than I did before."

Shepard's jaw clenched, but she swallowed and said evenly, "You a very different definition of 'damage' then I do."

"Perhaps; tell me what I want to know Shepard."

Shepard raised an eyebrow, "You said 'nearly' perfect before," she swallowed and licked her lips before going on, "you're not certain that this chemical will leave _me_ in particular undamaged. I wonder why that could be."

The Illusive Man looked at her silently for a long moment before saying, "Proceed doctor."

Dr. Abbott adjusted a dial on the device. The needles bit into her skin and Shepard's breath caught in her throat. She clenched her eyes shut as she felt the alien presence in her veins; it was strangely _warm and_ _tingly_ of all things. Shepard shivered once, twice, and then the sensation was gone. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and opened her eyes. She didn't move but out of the corner of her eye she saw Abbott adjust the same dial once more. Again there was the sensation of something out of place inside her, knowing what to expect this time Shepard keep her breathing even and her eyes open though she couldn't keep from shivering several times.

Abbott was adjusting the same dial again when a large explosion rocked the station. She barely felt it beyond the burning agony that was coursing through her veins. She threw her head back and screamed once before she slumped in her restraints.

Her mind was awake though she wished it weren't because in addition to the fire in her veins there were questions burning painfully in her mind not the least of which was '_Who am I?_'

OoOoO

Kaidan sat down at his desk with a sigh. Liara and Garrus pulled up chairs. Garrus observed mildly, "Balak was quite helpful, in his own psychopathic way."

Kaidan nodded slowly and turned to Liara, "I want everything he told us confirmed. And, I want as much as you can get on that rebellion; particularly how to make contact with them. Make that you're priority."

Liara nodded, "I'll see what I can do. I have suggestion," Kaidan nodded, and Liara nodded, "Primea Palrian has spent the last four years dealing with the black market slavery rings in Citadel space."

Garrus's mandibles twitched, "She might have contacts in the Batarian Rebellion and I know she has a great deal of information from the computers of the dozens of slaver's ships she's impounded."

Kaidan nodded, "I'll contact her, any other suggestions?"

Liara shook her head, Garrus looked pensive for a moment before he nodded and said, "Admiral Kryllin was able to get information about the batarians when we were looking into that ambush. The Hierarchy can't exactly complain about passing information to the Alliance now."

Kaidan nodded again, "Particularly because it was them that recommended me to the Spectres." Kaidan sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, "I've been trying to think of a name."

Garrus chuckled, "And how's that working for you?"

Liara smiled serenely and shook her head. Kaidan smiled back, "Not the best use of my time, but anyways, I want a name before Hackett's staff assigns us one."

Liara nodded slowly in agreement, "You have some ideas?"

Kaidan's eyes narrowed but he went on calmly, "Just one: the Apollo group."

Garrus blinked a couple of times in confusion and Liara looked thoughtful cocking her head to one side and asking, "Another name from human mythology?"

Kaidan nodded smiling sedately, "Apollo was the ancient Greek and Roman God of truth, prophecy and the sun."

"Prophecy? So you are going to take this beyond taking beyond Cerberus." Liara said nodding slowly, "I thought you would."

Kaidan nodded again, "And by then Shepard will be back to lead us."

Garrus nodded in agreement, Liara nodding slowly as well but asked, "You're both more than competent leaders but you want Shepard back to lead you, why?"

Garrus shook his head and said simply, "She's our leader."

Kaidan smiled and dropping his feet to the floor he sat forward in his chair, "Shepard is the one who managed to stop Sovereign, sorry _Nazara_, and its pet Saren. She also stopped the Collectors and killed the human Reaper fetus. We follow her for the same reason you do; she gets things done."

Liara smiled, "Oh yes she excels at that. But have you noticed how she seems to be pulled into the situations that she's most noted for resolving?"

Kaidan barked a brief surprised laugh in genuine amusement, "What like Elysium and Terra Nova?"

Liara laughed and said, "Among others, yes."

At the same time Garrus answered, "You're missing a few aren't you?"

A broad smile spread across Kaidan face for a moment before he shook his head and cleared his throat his expression returning once again to the neutral commander, "Liara anything new on the Shadow Broker?"

Liara's general air of amusement vanished and she shook her head, "Nothing concrete enough to move on yet. Though the packet of data you forwarded to me from the Alliance was enormously helpful in ruling out several candidates that I had on my short list."

Kaidan pursed his lips and nodded, "Being a Spectre has its benefits, you'll be able to add a virtual mountain of data to what you have with a day or so."

Liara looked up sharply, "I hadn't thought of that."

Garrus sounded amused and envious at the same time as he remarked, "I bet you could say 'I need so-and-so for this task. Find me the button I can push so he'll do whatever I say.' and actually get results."

Kaidan glowered at Garrus a moment before saying, "I hope you'll forgive me for not testing that theory, Garrus."

Garrus looked away and clearing his throat opened his mouth to say something as Joker came over the ship comm., "Commander, Councilor Anderson is requesting your presence in his office immediately."

Kaidan looked up, "Did he say why?"

"No, sir, just that he's got new information that you need now."

"Alright, Joker, page Samara and Thane."

Kaidan looked at Liara and Garrus who both nodded and stood. Kaidan smiled as he preceded them both from the room heading for the elevator, they knew what they had to do.

_Author's Notes: I quoted the Vorkosigan series again._

_STAR WARS reference in this chapter did anyone find it?_

_Apollo is also the God of music and poetry as well as a couple of other things in the Wiki article (.org/wiki/Apollo) which I've never heard such as medicine healing and plagues…_


	29. Chapter 29 Awakening

The Illusive Man pushed himself off the floor and look around. Dr. Abbott was just pulling himself to his feet as well. Miranda lay on the floor not moving. The Illusive Man activated his personal comm. and said, "Security report!" there was no answer. He glanced down at Miranda again, she was not moving, though she was undoubtedly alive. The station rocked again. The Illusive Man waved to Dr. Abbott to follow him and he marched from the room to the shuttle bay.

OoOoO

Kaidan walked into Councilor Anderson's office flanked by Samara and Thane to catch the tail end of the Turian Councilor's sentence, "…is in the Attican Traverse, allowing him to take a fleet in could spark a galactic war."

To which the Asari Councilor answered, "His mission is to find Captain Shepard. Commander Alenko has every right to go there and he has every right to draft whatever fleet he wants."

Councilor Anderson said, clearly holding back annoyance, "Commander Alenko will do whatever it takes to find Captain Shepard. If I recall correctly that's why we assigned him to do so. So regardless of any orders to the contrary he _will _find Shepard. Which is what we _all_ agreed is necessary."

The Salarian Councilor nodded, "Exactly, this attack changes nothing. It may in fact simplify things,"

"Assuming he gets there before Minuteman Station is overrun," Anderson added with a pointed look at the Turian Councilor."

Up until this point Kaidan had been standing patiently at parade rest just inside the door. But he was so surprised by this last statement that Kaidan blurted, "Overrun?"

Anderson turned to face him and nodded slowly, "The Batarian Hegemony has attacked the Cerberus installation known as the Minuteman Station in retaliation for attacking one of their installations and stealing one of their military grade interrogation chemicals."

Kaidan felt cold. If the Batarians got a hold of Shepard, Kaidan probably couldn't even imagine half of what the Hegemony would have done to her. The batarians would do anything they could to bring down any Alliance hero and Shepard in particular after what happened with the Alpha relay. Kaidan opened his mouth, but Anderson waved a hand and said, "Before you can," Anderson cleared his throat, "_borrow_ a fleet, both Admiral Hackett and Admiral Borshevsky are temporarily assigning a couple of ships from Fifth Fleet and Third Fleet to your command."

The Asari Councilor cleared her throat and Anderson turned back around to face his fellow Councilors. The asari, "Councilor Anderson, Commander Alenko, this is a human matter, it is better if the Council does not become directly involved. We are going to leave resolving this situation in your hands." the Salarian Councilor nodded readily, the Turian Councilor hesitated but it seemed he was unwilling to speak his mind and nodded slowly in agreement with his fellow Councilors. The three other Councilors signed off and their holographic images disappeared.

Anderson turned back to Kaidan and after handing him an OSD he said, with a slight smile on his face, "Coordinates of Minuteman Station courtesy of the Watch Dog. As well as complete dossiers on the _Geneva_, _Tokyo_, _Boston_, _Manchester_, _Perugia_, _Nagano_, _Sidney_ and the _Ain Jalut_ which are temporarily under your command. Run the batarians out of the Horse Head Nebula and hold the station until the Alliance can scrape together a full staff."

Kaidan felt his jaw drop then he closed his mouth for a moment, counter offensive strategies dancing through his mind, with nine ships at his command he could do a _lot_ of damage. Kaidan refocused on Councilor Anderson, who was watching him, clearly amused, and said "'A couple of ships'?" Kaidan shook his head slightly then asked, "How many Hegemony ships are there?"

"Unknown; expect heavy resistance though, the Hegemony is very unhappy with Cerberus. We know that Cerberus had three frigates stationed there permanently, so expect at least double that many batarian ships."

Kaidan shook his head smiling wolfishly, and saluted the Councilor. Anderson nodded in response and Kaidan, about to leave Anderson's office, thought of something and turned back, "Councilor Anderson, would it be possible for the Minuteman Station to be sanctioned as the official base of operations for the Apollo Group?"

Anderson raised his eyebrows, "'The Apollo Group' I take it that is the name you've decided on for your organization?" Kaidan nodded. The Councilor pursed his lips in thought for a moment before saying slowly, "I will speak with the Prime Minister and Admiral Hackett and have an answer for you as soon as I can."

Kaidan nodded in thanks and left Anderson's office, once again flanked by Samara and Thane. Once Anderson's door slid shut Kaidan broke into a run.

Once the _Normandy_'s airlock cycled Kaidan walked over to Joker who turned his chair to face Kaidan, "Take us to the Horse Head Nebula Relay, we're rendezvousing with my fleet there then we're going to Minuteman Station." Kaidan handed the OSD to Joker. The pilot turned his chair back around and within second the _Normandy_ began to move. Kaidan slide into the engineering station next to the pilot station and logged in with his Alliance security overrides so he could pull up the full technical specifications and crew rosters for all of the ships in his temporary fleet. Pulling together a battle plan on almost zero notice with nine ships that he'd never worked with before was an interesting tactical challenge.

Five minutes later the _Normandy_ came to the specified mass relay. Joker obligingly 'parked' the _Normandy _at the official head of the, as of yet, incomplete fleet. The ships from third fleet were there; the _Geneva_, the _Tokyo_, the _Boston_ and the _Manchester_. The fifth fleet ships were due to arrive in about thirty minutes. Kaidan activated the Alliance ship to ship comm. unit, "This is Staff Commander Alenko of the SSV _Normandy_."

"Captain 'Card' Addison SSV _Geneva_," the reply was prompt from the lead ship.

"Stand by for orders, Addison; _Normandy _out." Kaidan cut the comm.

Two minutes later the _SSV_ _Ain Jalut_ came up on the _Normandy_'s starboard side. Kaidan turned in his seat to eye Joker before he activated the comm. again, "This is Commander Alenko of the _SSV_ _Normandy_ to Captain Mustang of the _SSV_ _Ain Jalut_; you seem to have left behind the rest of your task group." the _Ain Jalut_ was exactly the same as the original _Normandy_, making it the only other stealth ship in existence.

"Captain Roy Mustang here; we're just leading the way Commander. My pilot wanted a chance to coordinate with yours before the battle."

Kaidan chuckled, "I understand Captain; how far behind you is the rest of your group?"

When Captain Addison's voice came back his tone was laced with sarcastic amusement, "Eighteen minutes."

Kaidan looked over at Joker and nodded. Joker opened a private channel with the other pilot. Apparently the other pilot, a man named Wes Janson, and Joker had known each other in passing in flight school. Janson had apparently graduated a year behind Joker and was looking forward to flying with another ship that was as fast as the _Ain Jalut_. Kaidan snorted in ironic amusement when he noticed that Janson was as much of a _joker_ as Kaidan's own ace pilot. Kaidan took vicarious pleasure in hearing Joker rib someone else for a change, though Janson seemed to be giving as good as he got in that respect.

As advertised the _Perugia_, the _Nagano_ and the _Sidney_ dropped out of FTL exactly eighteen minutes later. Kaidan programmed a temporary encrypted fleet comm. channel then, after broadcasting it to the rest of his fleet, activated it, "This is Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko, N-7, Spectre and acting captain of the _SSV_ _Normandy_. We're going into an active fire fight between Batarian Hegemonic forces and Cerberus. We will obviously creating a three way battle, though the other two sides will be worn down by the time we get there. I'm transmitting fleet tactical plans as well as navigational route info now."

Joker immediately broadcast their route to the Minuteman Station in the Horse Head Nebula over the encrypted fleet comm. Kaidan said, "Let's go Joker."

Joker took the _Normandy_ through the mass relay to the Horse Head Nebula. The _Ain Jalut_ fell in next to the _Normandy_. The other seven ships maneuvered into a double diamond pattern with the _Geneva_ directly behind the two stealth ships and at the center of the other six ships. Joker and Janson trimmed back the FTL speed of their respective ships and all nine ships made a twelve minute long burn for the Minuteman Station. It was between two systems, similar to the Heretic Geth station right in the middle of Sea of Storms in the Phoenix Massing.

As per Kaidan's battle plan, as soon as his fleet dropped back to normal space speeds the _Normandy_ and the _Ain Jalut_ activated their stealth systems and accelerated to their full, and considerable, speed. Kaidan brought up the external sensors and watched the battle. The three remaining Cerberus cruisers were getting pounded by the six Hegemony ships. Kaidan whistled lowly and winced as one of the Cerberus ships blew apart under sustained fire of the batarian dreadnought _Orn'var_. "Joker let's go. The dreadnought is yours and Janson's. Take it down before it turns it's guns on my fleet."

"You always give me such fun assignments…" Joker punched a few keys on his board. The _Normandy_ in unison with the _Ain Jalut_ spun on its axis and rocketed to towards the intimidating shadow of the _Orn'var_.

As per Kaidan's plan, the _Geneva_ went head to head against the _Orn'var_ from one side at exactly the right time to keep the dreadnought's gunners from visually tagging the stealth ships and targeting them manually. The _Normandy _and the _Ain Jalut_ split four kilometers out from the _Orn'var_ to rake the huge ship from opposite directions. They succeeded in dropping the monstrous ship's shields and scoring several devastating direct hits on its hull. It wasn't enough to take the _Orn'var_ down but the _Geneva _made an attack run on the dreadnought and scored a direct, if lucky shot on the bridge viewports. The reinforced transparasteel buckled slightly but held, barely, until the _Tokyo_ opened fire. The viewports shattered and the pieces flew inward for a moment before the vacuum of space sucked the atmosphere of the bridge out into the void. Kaidan held back a cheer as the _Normandy_ and the _Ain_ _Jalut_ flew around to make a run on the disabled _Orn'var_'s engines. The _Ain Jalut_ made a beautiful shot on the mass effect core that caused a chain reaction to ripple through it and the dreadnought began tear itself apart.

Kaidan, who was keeping an eye on the rest of the battle, barked into his fleet comm., "_Perugia_ break to port and dive towards the station!" the _Perugia_'s pilot responded immediately and 'dropped' towards Minuteman Station. The _Perugia_ had been triple teaming four of the other Hegemony ships with the _Nagano_ and the _Sidney_. The _Perugia_ had attacked crosswise from the other two Alliance ships and scored several shots on one of the frigates which combined with the fire from it partner ships had caused the batarian frigates to start breaking apart. Unfortunately for the _Perugia_ one of the batarian cruisers had used the heat from the exploding ships to mask it's presence from the _Perugia_'s sensors. The _Nagano_ and the _Sidney_ took exception to the attempted ambush and within moments the batarian cruiser was so much space junk.

Kaidan saw something strange on his monitors. Four ships were undocking from Minuteman Station. Kaidan pulled up schematics on those ships; they were batarian cruisers. Kaidan cursed as all four ships went faster than light and were gone.

The _Normandy_ and the _Ain Jalut_ engaged with one of the two remaining Hegemony ships as the _Boston_ and the _Manchester_ succeeded in destroying their chosen Hegemony frigate. Kaidan grinned maliciously as the _Boston_ and the _Manchester_ turned to intercept the two remaining Cerberus ships. About a second later the two Cerberus ships deactivated their guns and stopped maneuvering. A female voice came across an open comm. channel, "This is Captain Orin of the CSV _Defender_ we surrender." Kaidan blinked, that was unexpected but not really a surprise considering the tactical advantage his fleet held and how quickly they'd taken out the Hegemony ships.

The _Boston_ and the _Manchester_ continued their pass on the smaller ships but looped back around to take a run on the remaining Hegemony cruiser. Kaidan nodded to himself, those pilots were good which was another non-surprise to him. The _Boston_'s and the _Manchester_'s target disintegrated under the two ships' combined fire. Thirty seconds later the battle was over as the _Normandy_ destroyed the last Hegemony frigate. Kaidan smiled in satisfaction and sat back in his seat for a moment before he remembered the four batarian ships that had left mid battle.

Kaidan pulled up the sensor logs. He recognized the _Olemser_ and the _For'dal_ and muttered darkly under his breath for a moment before Joker said, "Kaidan?"

Kaidan looked up at Joker and shook his head, "Damn slavers; look." Kaidan shunted the sensory data to Joker.

"Commander, I estimated that the batarians slavers got away with approximately two thirds of Minuteman Station's personnel ," EDI chimed in.

Kaidan's head snapped up and he glanced at the station through the _Normandy_'s viewport then turned to EDI's interface, "Can you tell if Shepard…?"

"No Commander, the security personnel have yet to run a full station wide census."

Kaidan breathed slowly considering his options looking at Minuteman Station. After a moment's hesitation he turned to EDI's interface again, "Get me the frequency for that station. I want to make a general broadcast to all remaining personnel."

"Of course Commander Alenko," the comm. frequency came up on the tech station display.

Kaidan punched in the frequency and said, "This is Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko of the _SSV_ _Normandy_ to all Cerberus personnel aboard the Minuteman Station; surrender unconditionally and you will not be harmed. I am coming aboard the station, any hostile actions on your part will be met with deadly force."

_Author's Notes: I couldn't find any references to the names of the Alliance ships that are guarding the Citadel. Based upon the information I could find on the Alliance (.com/wiki/Alliance_Navy) it makes sense that they would have one of their fleets would be based out of the Citadel, Bailey even says that there's "a human fleet guarding the Citadel". That being said I've created all the details about the Third Fleet: Admiral Borshevsky and the ships._

_I barrowed a character's from STAR WARS; as well as a substance from STAR WARS._

_I also borrowed a character his name only, again from the awesome Manga/Anime Fullmetal Alchemist._

_SSV stands for Systems (Alliance) Space Vehicle so the Cerberus cruiser can't be SSV anything. I therefore invented the CSV, Cerberus Space Vehicle for the purposes of this story. The Illusive Man has a big enough ego for it too._


	30. Chapter 30 Marathon

Kaidan, standing in Minuteman Station's main cafeteria, looked over the collected personnel and felt a strong urge to rage and shoot them all. Kaidan had just received official confirmation from Admiral Hackett that the Minuteman Station was being turned over to the Apollo Group as their Base of operations. Kaidan would normally have been glad for that but he'd also just gotten confirmation that Shepard was among those taken by the batarians. Two steps forward and four backwards; Kaidan growled several more choice phrasing under his breath. On top of everything else Tali had found the Illusive Man's records of the torture he'd ordered done on Shepard. The records of which had nearly made Kaidan sick, and of the personnel in his custody were the ones who had brought her to the Illusive Man unconscious.

Tali had also found the security recordings of Shepard's last torture session. The Illusive Man had willingly left _Miranda_ to an unknown enemy because carrying her to his escape shuttle would have slowed him down; self-centered bastard.

Kaidan had brought both of the _Normandy_'s marine squads along with his own strike team of Tali and Grunt. Kaidan had decided that the more armed lunatics he brought with him when he boarded Minuteman Station the less arguments he would have to deal with when he locked up all the personnel aboard.

Tali pulled up the recording of the Illusive Man's expeditious retreat from Minuteman Station. The Illusive Man had once claimed to Shepard that he cared about his people, the liar. He'd left Miranda and Shepard without even checking if they were alive because taking them would have slowed him down. He'd left with only five others because they had been upright and moving under their own power when he'd come across them in the hallway on his way to the shuttle bay. With no hesitation Kaidan said, "Put up on the monitors, Tali. Let these people see how much their 'Illusive Man' values their lives.

Tali glanced up at Kaidan and nodded once before doing as Kaidan bid her. The security record began playing and soon every Cerberus person, and most of the Alliance personnel, in the room were watching. There were several exclamations to what the Illusive Man and Dr. Abbott did to Shepard particularly the last part. Then there was a near riot to the Illusive Man's next actions, with barely a glance at Miranda he'd left her to the batarians and left the station. One of the Cerberus soldiers stood up, Kaidan guessed the man was an ex-Alliance special forces from the way he was standing and his burly build, and shouted, "How do we know that you Alliance people didn't just create that video to make us turn on Cerberus!" most of the other Cerberus people quieted down to hear him other loudly voice agreements with the speaker.

Kaidan refrained from either rolling his eyes or shooting the man out of sheer annoyance, "If one of your techies wants to take a look at the coding I'll be glad to let them."

The ex-Alliance man blinked clearly taken aback then he looked around at the gathered Cerberus personnel and walked over to a woman with black hair and said, "Linda was one of our systems analysts," the woman swallowed and looked at Kaidan then at the ex-Alliance man before standing up and walking obligingly over to the terminal Tali had used to put the security recording on the cafeteria's screens.

Tali stepped aside to give Linda access to the terminal and activated her omni-tool to watch what the woman was doing. Kaidan activated his own omni-tool to do the same; there was no reason to take unnecessary risks. After several minutes of searching and turning up nothing other than that the video Tali had put up of the Illusive Man's retreat from Minuteman Station was anything but genuine and unedited Linda turned an faced her fellow Cerberus people say in an tremulous voice, "It's the real thing they took it from the Cerberus Network." she retreated back to her seat.

The ex-Alliance soldier stood near Kaidan and Tali watching Linda take her seat before turning back to Kaidan and asking plaintively, "You Alliance types consider us terrorists, why did you stop the batarians from taking us all as slaves?"

Kaidan looked at the man for several moments, his face blank of all emotion, before deciding to answer truthfully, "I came to get Captain Shepard." the ex-Alliance man looked away and Kaidan narrowed his eyes, "you're one of the people who shot her and turned her over to your 'Illusive Man'."

"Shepard was a spy."

"Do you know why?" Kaidan asked evenly.

"What?"

"Do you know why she returned to Cerberus in the first place?"

The ex-Alliance man shook his head, bemused before guessing, "She returned to be a spy…"

Before Kaidan could say anything, another of the Cerberus people, a scientist from the look of him, said lowly, "The Illusive Man wanted her back. So we made it happened. Miranda Lawson was on our team because she knew Shepard."

Kaidan nodded looking at the scientist, "He brainwashed her because she destroyed the Collector Base rather than handing it over to him."

Kaidan eyed the ex-Alliance man for a moment before asking in his regular voice, "Your name?"

The man looked up and answered, "Jared Victors."

"Were you one of the people that Shepard was training?" Victors nodded, and Kaidan sighed, "I suppose that's why the Illusive Man sicced you on her."

Victors smiled ironically, "What a laugh that was, we never even stood a chance against her. We barely managed to get her before she escaped the station."

Kaidan voiced a joyless laugh before saying, "So I saw, I had Tali trace Shepard's movements after our last confirmed report from her. Your man got a lucky shot."

Victors shook his head ruefully, "_I_ got a lucky shot and don't I know it. She wasn't expecting us and she still dropped seven of my best marines in less than two minutes. If not for the security lock down she would have gotten away." Victors shook his head again, this time regretfully, "if I'd known what the Illusive Man was going to do to her. I would have let her go."

OoOoO

Miranda Lawson stood watching through the tiny viewport as the shuttle landed on Camala. She was one of the nearly seventy five Cerberus personnel that the Batarian Hegemony forces had managed to take prisoner. She turned away from the viewport and looked over at the woman next to her. The woman's once waist length red hair had been shaved off and her once bright green were dull. The few times that Miranda had spoken to her Miranda had been chilled by her views and the way her mind worked now. She was acting cold and pragmatic to a degree that Miranda would not have thought possible. This woman was a complete blank, she remembered basic trivia and so on but everything that had made her Lucille Shepard was gone and it was all Miranda's fault.

Shepard glanced at Miranda and she flinched at the icy gaze. There was no hostility there but it was like looking into a black hole. Miranda swallowed and said in a mild tone of voice, "We'll be landing soon." Shepard's gaze flickered back over Miranda's face and she nodded slightly but said nothing.

Their slave shuttle landed soon after. When the batarian guards came back and started pushing their new slaves towards the airlock, Shepard took exception to this. She slammed one of the guards into another then kicked a third as the fourth guard strode purposefully over to her he took out a small device and activated it. Shepard dropped to one knee panting. The three guards that Shepard had knocked down got up and advanced on her menacingly as she slowly stood. Miranda stepped up next to Shepard and put out her hands in placating gesture. Two of the guards pushed Miranda away roughly the other two ignored her in favor of grabbing Shepard's arms. Shepard being Shepard, fought them. The two guards holding her lost their grip on her just as one of the other guards slammed his fist into her solar plexus. The breath went out of Shepard's lungs in a violent huff and she dropped to the shuttle's mesh deck plates where one of the guards kicked her stomach and all four left her alone to chivvy the other slaves off the shuttle.

Miranda winced in sympathy and darted forward. She knelt at Shepard's side and rolled her onto her back. Shepard was conscious but temporarily paralyzed from the nerve thrust to her solar plexus. Miranda looked up most of the other slaves were already gone. Miranda had no doubt that the batarians would inflict further harm on Shepard if Miranda didn't get her off the shuttle before the other slaves were gone. Miranda pulled Shepard to her feet and put her arm around her own shoulder. Two of the guards were at the shuttle door and watch Miranda as she basically dragged Shepard from the shuttle, but thankfully they didn't stop the two women.

Once they left the shuttle they were led to an elevator. Miranda swallowed, so it was to be manual labor in a mine. That was better than a lot of the alternatives. The elevator was slow and the ride down into the mine was long. About half way down Shepard began to stand on her on though she still leaned on Miranda for support which Miranda willing gave her without comment. Shepard said under her breath, "Vertigo," in explanation. Miranda nodded in understanding without saying anything.

When the elevator finally did stop Shepard nearly collapsed. Miranda caught her and held her up until she got her feet under her. Once Shepard could stand, she and Miranda left the elevator and shuffled along with the rest of the slaves. At the end of a short tunnel and on the other side of two thick blast doors and a security station was a cramped dormitory space complete with dozens of stacks of four high bunk beds. Miranda and Shepard took two bunks next to each other on the lowest level of beds.

After a short while a batarian foreman rounded up the next shift of slaves, which included Miranda and Shepard and pushed them towards a blast door on the opposite side of the room from the one to the surface. Their group was led down into the deepest tunnels. Once the reached their destination the slaves were issued mining tools. Shepard and Miranda got to work with all of the other slaves.

OoOoO

After going over the sensor data from the battle with the Hegemony forces, Kaidan had been able to identify the other two freighters that had left mid-fight. He'd then handed the information over to Liara. She'd come back to him nearly three days later with information about were the ships had ending up taking the new slaves. Camala.

Kaidan was sitting on the table in the comm. room his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He'd just finished reporting to the Council. More specifically he'd just finished 'negotiating' with the Council. Surprising the Turian Councilor had sided with Kaidan and Councilor Anderson and helped them convince the Salarian Councilor and the Asari Councilor that getting Shepard back was still doable.

The Cerberus people his fleet had saved on Minuteman Station had been a font of knowledge on their former employer. None of them had been happy about the Illusive Man's ass saving retreat at the beginning of the Hegemony attack on the station. As it was Kaidan was almost willing to put getting Shepard back above destroying… no he would be annexing and absorbing Cerberus into the Apollo Group.

Kaidan looked up as the door opened and Garrus walked in with Liara. Without preamble Liara said, "I found them."

Kaidan's head snapped up, "The Batarian Rebellion?" Liara nodded with slightly less than contained smugness Liara nodded, "It wasn't easy, but I set up a meeting for you."

Kaidan shook his head ruefully, "That's no surprise; batarians really don't like humans."

"That's not why it was so difficult to set a meeting. But really most batarians hate the Hegemony more than they hate humans."

Kaidan snorted ironically but didn't want to go into that last bit. Instead he asked, "When and where?"

Liara twitched smile, "Omega."

Kaidan sighed, "Of course."


	31. Chapter 31 Consequences

Zaeed Massani was not a man to be taken lightly, which was why Kaidan had contacted him before heading to Omega to meet up with the Rebels' representative in the Hot Shot on Omega. Zaeed was more than willing to help Kaidan and had insisted that he had to pay Kaidan back for the info about the Blue Suns that Kaidan had forwarded to him several months back. When Massani had told Kaidan this Kaidan had silently blessed Garrus and accepted Massani's offer.

Kaidan was decked out in his N-7 assault hard suit and had his usual armament of five weapons. His X-15d Vindicator Battle Rifle and his M-920 Cain were strapped to his back right over his shoulder blades. His x-27c Scimitar Assault Shotgun was strapped to his lower back. Strapped to his left hip were both his x-12e Locust SMG and his x-6c Carnifex Hand Cannon. Kaidan sat back in his chair and crossed his legs on the top of the table. With a small smile he pulled an OSD out of his pocket and lightly tapped the table with it. Privately he considered the OSD in his hand to be the most potent weapon in his current armament.

Garrus and Liara were sitting with Kaidan at his table. Liara was there because she was the one who set this meeting up and because she was his the head of the Apollo Group's fledgling intelligence division. Garrus was with them because, in addition to being Kaidan's second, Garrus had recent knowledge of how Omega worked. They were nearly an hour early and Kaidan had to school himself not keep checking the time on his omni-tool. Liara activated her own omni-tool about five minutes before the batarians were due to arrive and sent out a pulse specifically designed to destroy any listening devices in the Hot Shot.

With the smile still on his face Kaidan casually looked around the bar, there were no true strangers there. Massani was playing pool with a couple of Blue Suns. Kaidan thought that this was odd but he didn't think that it really mattered at the moment. For added back up Samara, Jacob, and Tali were sitting at the table in front of Kaidan, Garrus and Liara. Legion stood against the wall directly behind Kaidan and Thane was somewhere in his tactical cloak. Also, Mordin, Jack and Grunt were lounging at the bar. They were loudly debating the merits and draw backs of human rum; in between toasting each other with said rum. Kaidan wasn't sure how much they'd had to drink but he knew they were sober enough to fight if they needed to, at least they damned well better be sober enough to fight or they would be answering to him.

The Rebels were right on time. Kaidan studied their leader as he shook the woman's hand, "I'm Kaidan Alenko."

The woman was short for a batarian, she was head and shoulders smaller than Kaidan, and she looked to be about middle aged for her race. She nodded slowly, obviously appraising Kaidan in return. She answered Kaidan in a calm steady tone saying, "I am Jelvan Del'amon."

Kaidan heard Liara take a breath. Kaidan waved at Liara and said, "This is Dr. Liara T'Soni, my intelligence chief," Kaidan then waved in Garrus's direction, "this is Garrus Vakarian, my second in command."

Del'amon waved at one of her people and said, "This is Verha Had'deh, our top combat specialist."

Liara eyed the man with interest, "Any relation to Edan Had'deh?"

The batarian grimaced but nodded, "My grandfather. And before you ask, I never met the man. My father took me and my mother away from Camala before he got involved with that artifact."

The five of them sat down as Liara nodded. Kaidan cleared his throat, "A recent Hegemony attack ended with several dozen humans being taken for slaves. As far as my people can tell, these captured humans ended up on Camala in an eezo mine."

Del'amon sat back in her chair tapping her chin thoughtfully for several minutes before she said, "Why does an Alliance Officer and a Council Spectre want to rescue a bunch of Cerberus personnel?"

Kaidan was slightly surprised but hoped he hid it well, "It's not the Cerberus people I want back, though I'd like to break them out if I can, the Alliance had an asset in play in Minuteman Station. It's her I want to get back."

Had'deh glanced around them and leaned forward in his chair, "The Hegemony knows that Shepard is among their newest slaves. They're not using her because she's pretty much a blank."

Kaidan's breath went out of his body in huff, he felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. After a moment Kaidan cleared his throat and asked as evenly as he could, "What does that mean?"

Del'amon leaned forward in his chair, "From what I understand Cerberus' Illusive Man was using an experimental drug that he had Shepard steal from the Hegemony when the attack started."

Kaidan nodded, "We knew about all that."

Del'amon nodded, "According to one of the other Cerberus people that was captured, Shepard had some sort of idiosyncratic reaction to the stolen drug. Something about altered brain chemistry. Shepard has amnesia now. The Hegemony isn't using Shepard for propaganda because despite her memory loss, or perhaps because of it, she is very hard to control. Hence the manual labor in an eezo mine."

Kaidan consciously controlled his breathing. Forcing himself to breathe evenly and slowly was a good distraction. Of course Shepard would be hard to control, there was a reason Kaidan had nicknamed her _Wildcat_. Kaidan wanted to kill something, an urge that almost surprised him. Almost. Where Shepard was concerned he'd do anything. Kaidan focused on Del'amon again and said, "I want to get into Camala and get Shepard back. That's why I had Liara contact you." Del'amon nodded slightly as if she was expecting this, "I want free as many of the slaves on Camala as I can. I'm not just talking about the human slaves either, no one has the right to own someone else."

Del'amon cleared her throat, "You do realize that the Hegemony has seen to it that slavery is an integral part of batarian society right?"

Kaidan looked at her for a moment before observing mildly, "What an interesting way of putting it."

Del'amon nodded smiling slightly, "That's one thing that the Rebellion is against. We think it's time that batarian society evolves beyond being a slave state."

Kaidan turned at Liara and raised an eyebrow in question. Without hesitation Liara nodded in confirmation. Kaidan leaned forward, "I came here to forge an Alliance between the Apollo Group and the Batarian Rebellion."

Del'amon nodded, "So your message said. What exactly are you purposing?"

"You get me and two others onto Camala and into the same eezo mine as Shepard then back us up when we make our move. In return we provide weapons, intelligence, ships and back up when you need it."

"For how long?" Del'amon asked sensibly.

"Indefinably; if the Apollo Group can't for any reason then the Systems Alliance will."

Del'amon looked stunned for a moment before she regained control of her features, after which her face rapidly blanked of all emotion. Had'deh was not as good at controlling his features the disbelief and surprise marked his face quite clearly as he snapped, "Why would the Alliance do that?"

Kaidan smiled coolly and slid two OSDs across the table toward Del'amon before sitting back in his chair and crossing his legs comfortably saying, "With the understanding that when you win your war you will establish a democratic government and abolish slavery entirely," a slightly stunned silence followed, "you should take a look at human history, we do this sort of thing _a lot_."

Had'deh opened his mouth to say something but Del'amon cleared her throat and he closed his mouth. Del'amon picked up the OSDs and leaned back in her chair. She studied Kaidan for several moments thoughtfully while idly flipping one of the OSDs through the fingers in her right hand. Kaidan watched her face, his gaze flickering up and down between both sets of the batarian's eyes. Kaidan wasn't disconcerted by the four eyes but he did agree that it gave the batrians a slight advantage sometimes.

After about a minute of studying Kaidan, Del'amon activated her omni-tool and plugged in the first OSD. Her eyes tracked right to left twice before widening. She read on however and if possible her eyes widened further. She looked up at Kaidan a minute later and leaning towards Kaidan she hissed, "This is signed by the Prime Minister of the Systems Alliance and the Admirals of all five of the Alliance Navy Fleets!"

Kaidan nodded smiling slowly; his expression reflected a certain amount of smugness, "Being a Spectre gives me an amazing amount of political clout."

Had'deh shook his head in ironic amusement, "Right and being a former staff officer of the Human Councilor had nothing to do with it."

Kaidan's smile widened, "That just means I have more strings to pull."

Had'deh shook his head and sat back in his chair, while Del'amon laughed, "I like you Alenko." she held out her hand.

Kaidan took Del'amon's hand and shook it firmly, "Excellent." Had'deh signed the official document on the first OSD and took it out of the slot after making a copy for herself and slid it back across the table to Kaidan. She put in the second OSD and read the contact information quickly. After taking the OSD out of her omni-tool she set it to produce an OSD of contact information. When it was finished she handed it to Kaidan. She commented, "I look forward to working with you, Alenko." before rapping on the table lightly with her knuckles and standing.

When the two batarian had left Samara, Jacob and Tali stood and joined them. They were followed shortly by Grunt, Mordin and Jack. Thane appeared next to Legion and the two of them sat at the table. Zaeed Massani wandered over to Kaidan's table and held out his hand to Kaidan. Kaidan shook it and nodded, "Thanks for the backup Massani; even though it wasn't needed, I appreciate it."

Zaeed Massani nodded and feral grin spread across his face, "Anytime, and I do mean anytime. That data you sent me led me right to Vido Santiago. The Blue Suns are mine; you can add us to your list of allies against the Goddamn Reapers."

Kaidan returned the Mercenary's feral grin with one of his own, "I'll keep that in mind Massani." Massani nodded and left taking his Blue Suns with him.

Kaidan looked around the table at his people sizing them up. Liara spoke up, "That wasn't just a Rebel leader; that was _the_ Batarian Rebellion Leader."

Kaidan nodded, "I thought so."

Kaidan glanced around the table again. He already knew who he was going to take with him into Camala, though he hadn't told anyone else. Next to him Garrus cleared his throat, when Kaidan turned to look at Garrus he said, "Who are you planning on taking in with you Kaidan?"

Kaidan looked at Garrus for a moment longer before turning to catch Liara's gaze and then Samara's, "Samara and Liara."

Samara nodded without saying anything. Her expression was as serene as ever but there was tension in her shoulders. Apprehension maybe or maybe it was fear or perhaps it was some mix of the two. Liara's reaction was only slightly more expressive but not by much she looked unusually grim, but determination shone in her blue eyes and she nodded in understanding.

Kaidan looked around the table again once before turning back to Garrus, "Obviously you're in command while I'm on Camala. Continue our pursuit of Cerberus and the Illusive Man. If possible bring him in alive, trust no promises he makes; you know the drill. Liara can you have one of your people on board the _Normandy_ within a week?" Liara nodded, "good." Kaidan turned back to Garrus, "If anything comes up with any of our allies take care of it, with dispatch if you please. If you need any additional support or resources go to Anderson or Hackett. They'll do what they can," Kaidan cleared his throat looking around, "is there anything else?"

Tali spoke up, "I've been in contact with the rest of the Admiralty board. They've finally agreed to open talks with the Geth."

Kaidan's head snapped up in surprise and he looked at her, "Well done Tali." he turned to Legion, "can you arrange that?"

The pieces around Legion's eye flared and he said, "Alenko Commander, the Geth will be open to negotiating with the Creators."

Tali nodded, "We'll talk later, Legion."

Kaidan smiled at Tali, then looked up at the rest of his people, "Anything else?"

When nobody said anything Kaidan said, "Alright then you're all dismissed."

When Kaidan was rising from his chair to leave the Hot Shot, Thane stopped him with a hesitant hand on his shoulder. Kaidan stopped, "Yes Thane?" he sunk back into his chair and Thane sat next to him.

"My condition is steadily getting worse Commander. I may not have the eight months that I was told to expect."

Kaidan waved to a table, "Sit down, Thane." Thane did so and Kaidan sat across from him, "what do you want to do Thane?"

"I want to stay aboard the _Normandy_. I have found peace there, a peace that I haven't known since my wife was killed."

Kaidan nodded, "You're welcome to stay as long as you like, Thane."

"Thank you, Commander." Thane stood and exited the Hot Shot.

_Author's Notes:_

_Angie010: Thanks so much! By the way what does AT&T mean?_


	32. Chapter 32 Assignation

Kaidan sat in the portside observation deck alone and in the dark. He was suppose to be sleeping but he was less than twelve hours away from heading into batarian space an ersatz slave under the cover of being Liara's stepfather and Samara's partner. This was going to be an interesting experience to say the least.

Kaidan was asleep when an intense migraine woke him up. After seeking out pain killers in the Med Bay, instead of heading back to bed, he'd come here. In the week and a half since his meeting with Del'amon and Had'deh on Omega he'd been running ragged getting things ready for his departure. Liara's second, a former Salarian STG Lieutenant named Retin Gilhon, had arrived two days ago. The man was very good but lacked a certain amount of logical mental organization, though thankfully he was not a motor mouth like Dr. Solis. Kaidan wasn't entirely certain Gilhon was any saner than Solis just less talkative.

Kaidan shifted to stretch his legs out on the couch and stared out of the viewport. Staring out at the stars was relaxing. After a few minutes Kaidan began creating his own constellations. His first one was a rather complex horse. He'd briefly considered creating one of Shepard but had decided not to depress himself. Anyways, he would be seeing her soon, even if she didn't know him.

Kaidan's mind wandered back to Minuteman Station. Most of the Cerberus personnel, rather most of the _former_ Cerberus personnel were quite free with every scrap of information they thought might help bring the Illusive Man down. Some wanted revenge others wanted justice some of them even seemed to want expiation for the things they'd done while working for Cerberus. But whatever their reasons Kaidan didn't care so long as the Illusive Man was brought down. But before he went that far he needed to _get Shepard back_.

Kaidan shook his head and muttered, "Idiot!" to himself. Justice, right, sure. Kaidan wanted revenge, which was why he wanted Shepard back first. Kaidan's main motivation for seeking vengeance was for actions committed the one he loved, she would seek vengeance for crimes committed against herself. So while Kaidan would like nothing better than to kill that man, she had more of a right to revenge against the Illusive Man than Kaidan did. But if she was the woman Kaidan had fallen in love with she wouldn't kill the Illusive Mananyways, though Shepard would be sorely tempted to do so.

Kaidan groaned and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, hard. After a moment he stopped rubbing his eyes and ran his fingers through his still slightly damp hair. This was pointless and depressing. Kaidan focused on the stars again. Sometime later he fell asleep staring at the bright points of light and the blank black void in between them.

OoOoO

Miranda was watching Shepard. She had just finished her 'lunch'; which had consisted of about a quart of water in their individual water bottles and a four ounce tube of tasteless colorless nutrient paste. Shepard was sitting on the ground finishing the last of her nutrient paste. When she was done she looked up and caught Miranda's gaze and Miranda flinched at the nothingness she saw in Shepard's eyes and looked away. Whatever it was that had made Shepard, Shepard was gone. Strangely Shepard, disturbing as she was now, was still incredibly charismatic. The other slaves were looking to her for leadership.

Strangely enough Shepard was responding to everyone, Miranda included, with cold civility. Everything from Shepard's continued amnesia to her status as a relatively new slave should have made the others pity her. Not Shepard; she was damned magnetic where ever she went and whatever she did people looked to her to lead them.

In between daily grueling fourteen hour shifts Miranda tried to keep Shepard from getting herself killed. For some reason Shepard seemed to entertain herself by provoking the guards. The other slaves called Shepard brave, Miranda called her four kinds of insane and six kinds of stupid. Miranda tried to keep Shepard from getting hurt too badly. Miranda had succeeded in that goal more often than not. Shepard had gotten herself beaten up five times in the last two weeks. That sounded like a lot but considering that Shepard provoked the guards two or three times a day, Miranda thought she was doing a reasonable job of protecting Shepard from herself.

Speaking of which, the guards ordered the slaves back to work. Shepard watched two of the guards walk towards her. There was an expression of extreme boredom on Shepard's face. One of the guards gestured towards Shepard's discarded mining tools, she glanced at the tools then back up at the guard. Miranda groaned and caught Shepard's gaze over the batarian guard's shoulder and gave Shepard an exasperated shake of her head. Shepard sighed and rose to her feet with deliberate, insulting slowness. Shepard picked her tools up and strode past the two batarians to Miranda's side. As Shepard past Miranda, she muttered, "Satisfied?" under her breath.

Miranda went to work next to Shepard. After a surreptitious look around to see that there were no guards close enough to hear, Miranda hissed, "Do you like getting beaten to a pulp!" under her breath to Shepard.

Shepard didn't pause but Miranda saw the appraising glance that Shepard leveled at her. A moment later, Shepard whispered back, "It breaks up the monotony nicely."

Miranda groaned and closed her eyes briefly. Despite the strange coldness that permeated Shepard's thinking now Shepard still sometimes acted like her true self. Under her breath Miranda muttered back, "Fatuous." Shepard snorted but didn't say anything back.

After another seven hours the batarian guards led them back to the slave barracks. Miranda went to get the two of them water to drink while Shepard slid to the floor in front of her bunk. Shepard was just breaking open their dinner paste tubes when Miranda came back with their water bottles filled. They began to eat their nutrient paste without speaking.

The door that led to the surface of Camala opened and three new slaves were led into the barracks. Miranda's eyes widened in shock; what in the world were _they_ doing here? Kaidan Alenko stood with Liara T'Soni and the Justicar Samara. They had to be there to break Shepard out. Miranda was drawn from her musings by Shepard dropping her water bottle and nutrient paste tube to the floor and clutching her head. "Shepard!" Miranda said alarmed.

Shepard groaned in response. Miranda moved around in front of Shepard and put her hands on Shepard's shoulders. When Shepard didn't relax Miranda shook her gently, "Shepard what's wrong?" Shepard's only response was to shake her head. A hand rested on Miranda's shoulder, to gently to be one of the batarian guards. Miranda glanced up into the concerned brown eyes of Kaidan Alenko. The Justicar and T'Soni were kneeling on either side of him. "Lawson," Alenko whispered, "what's wrong with her?"

"I don't know." after a moment Miranda asked, "why are you whispering?"

Alenko glanced around, "The guards…?"

Miranda blinked and glanced at his face again. After a moment she caught his meaning, "The guards won't come in here unless there's a fight."

Alenko glanced at Miranda again briefly and then nodding in understanding before leaning toward Shepard again, "Shepard?"

Shepard whimpered and Miranda said, "Alenko, she's amnesiac."

"I know that." Alenko's voice jumped an octave and he cleared his throat to bring his voice back down to its normal register, "is this something new? Or is this a result of what your Illusive Man's torture?"

Miranda didn't look up at him as she nodded, "It was during the batarian attack. It was the reason they attacked."

Kaidan nodded again, "I know about that, too." Kaidan, still leaning towards Shepard asked, "Wildcat?" Shepard flinched back from him. Kaidan was watching what he could see of Shepard's face closely. Every time he spoke Shepard would flinch. Something about him was causing her pain. He needed to leave Shepard in Miranda's care for the time being because his mere presence was hurting Shepard.

Kaidan sighed and closed his eyes then turned to Miranda and opened his eyes again. Something in his expression must have turned pleading because Miranda said, "I'll keep taking care of her."

Kaidan nodded and stood. With great reluctance he turned from Shepard. It was very nearly the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, but Kaidan walked away from Shepard while she was in pain. He led the way across the slave barracks. Liara, Samara and he choose bunks a good distance from where Shepard and Miranda sat on the floor.

Kaidan leaned his forehead against the metal support of the upper bunks and closed his eyes once more. Shepard's pain was slightly disturbing. Considering everything she'd been through in the last eleven months it was amazing that she was functioning even on this level. She'd been brought back from the dead, 'assigned' a suicide mission, indoctrinated by 'the Illusive Man', tortured physically, then exposed to an overdose of an experimental truth serum and finally taken as a slave by the batarians. No wonder Shepard had amnesia. Kaidan was willing to bet that if anyone else had been exposed to the same mental stresses they would be catatonic or dead, particularly from that drug overdose.

Kaidan lay down on the bunk he'd claimed as his own and watched as Miranda spoke softly to Shepard. Eventually, Shepard relaxed and uncovered her face. Shepard and Miranda spoke for several minutes as Kaidan watched her. When he looked at her face and in her eyes there was nihility. She was a blank and that disturbed him, he needed her and more importantly the galaxy needed her.

OoOoO

Garrus stood behind Joker's chair in the cockpit of the _Normandy_ looking out the front viewports at Camala. As Joker brought the _Normandy_ towards the planet, Garrus mused on the peculiarities of human emotions. Kaidan was led to do incredible things in the name of getting Shepard back. On Omega the only emotions Garrus had encountered were greed and lust, mostly for more power or influence or money but both were negative emotions in Garrus's experience.

Garrus shook his head to clear his mind and looked up through the viewport again. They were making a slow descent into Camala's atmosphere so that the IES stealth system could still mask the _Normandy_'s heat emissions. Moreau was an egotistical even for a human, but he certainly could live up to his boasts where his piloting skills were concerned. The pilot got them to their drop point on the surface with none of the batarian defense forces being the wiser, much to Garrus's surprise. He'd thought Kaidan was insane to hinge his plan on such a chancy maneuver.

As soon as Moreau landed the _Normandy_, the unloading teams got to work. They were moving a dozen crates of combat armor, weapons, medical supplies and military grade food rations into a cave that the batarian resistance used for a supply depot when they needed it. Kaidan, Liara and Samara had spent hours memorizing topographical maps of the mining camp where Shepard was a slave and figuring out nearly a dozen routes to this one cavern. Four minutes and twenty-nine seconds later there was a double click over the ship's intercom followed shortly by another double click, "Get us out of here Moreau." Garrus said. Joker didn't even spare the time to acknowledge Garrus's order; he just got the _Normandy_ airborne. Twenty minutes later they hit the mass relay and were gone.

OoOoO

The Illusive Man stood in his new office in a small station at the edge of the Amazon system in the Voyager Cluster. He'd taken a gamble on Shepard nearly three years ago now. She was proving to be his undoing. How many leaders in history created their own greatest enemy? A hard question to answer; no matter, Shepard was his. It didn't matter that his most recent losses weren't inflicted only by Shepard; they were also done in her name first by Kaidan Alenko and now by Garrus Vakarian. The Illusive Man would keep Cerberus going for as long as he could. But when the last vestiges of the Guardian of Humanity fell, he would hunt down Shepard and make that women pay for everything that was wrought in her name.

_Autor's Notes: Upon reflection I have decided not togo back and rewrite my story based on ME3. Or atleast not until EA (asses) and Bioware (sellouts) fix the crap ending. So I'm going to merrily plug on with my original plot and ignore the game. I would also like to point out how much of the freaking game I was right about! ha ha! I feel precognitive... just kidding...sort of... Ta!_

_SinMelody: Thanks! I'm glad you like it._


	33. Chapter 33 Guile

Three days into his jaunt as a slave laborer, Kaidan was ready to strangle every batarian guard in the place with his bare hands, one by one. They were brutal and inhumane to the extreme. He'd known they would be coming into this but knowing and experiencing were two different things, particularly where pain was concerned. It wasn't just the cruelty, it was also the long tedious and mind numbing fourteen hour shifts in the mine extracting eezo from solid rock.

On top of everything else there was Shepard. They were in the same work group but he stayed away from her and Lawson. His presence made her agitated, a step up from the severe headache that first time but it still painful for him to see her react to his presence like that. It was really the only time that Shepard showed any emotion beyond the reckless amusement and disdain she showed towards the batarian guards. For some reason Shepard seemed to enjoy trying to piss them off.

Shepard's condition aside the mission on Camala was going very well, though it had taken nearly a week for Liara, Samara and him to make their way to the weapons cache from the _Normandy_. Everything was there. Kaidan and his group had two weeks to insight their fellow slaves to revolt. In that respect things were going about as well as Kaidan had expected, which is to say not very well at all. Though there was a group of batarians that were slaves for political reasons that were immensely helpful in breaking through the reticence of the others. The four elcor in Kaidan's work group were starting to come around as well, though like all of their species their thinking was changing at a slow deliberate pace.

That new slave Kay was watching Shepard out of the corner of his eye, again. Even like now, during their shifts in the mines he watched her. When she finally decided to look up at him he met her eyes for a moment then looked away. This was the only time he'd met her eyes since that first day. Shepard had to catch her breath, the whirl of emotions in the man's eyes was incredible; a mix of loneliness, love and hope all of which were over shadow by nearly heart breaking desire. The desire was what caught Shepard by surprise, the emotion wasn't based on lust; Shepard would have been seriously _annoyed_ by that, and would have likely tried to beat it out of him. This desire was something else, and since the emotion was focused on her, she could come to only one conclusion: Kay and she had meant something to each other once.

When their shift in the mine was over a few hours later and once they were done with their dinner Shepard asked Miranda, "I know you know him, who is he to me?"

Miranda looked up startled, "What?"

Shepard felt herself go cold, "Don't play games Miranda, I know you know him."

Miranda flinched and looked away from Shepard's gaze; gelid. Miranda swallowed, "Shepard I shouldn't," Miranda waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the batarian guard barracks.

Shepard felt her eyes narrow in annoyance, "Miranda…"

Miranda bit her lip, "Why are you asking Shepard?"

Shepard sat back slightly, "I know, I know him."

"Do you _want_ to put him in danger?" Miranda watched as Shepard cocked her head to the side in thought. After a moment Shepard slowly shook her head and sighed. After another moment of thought Shepard stood and slipped into her bunk and turned her back on the room. Miranda breathed covert relief. Shepard was always slightly scary, both before and after Miranda had helped indoctrinate her, Shepard usually deliberately tamped down her aura of menace. Now Shepard had no such inhibitions, it was actually not just scary, it was fascinating as well. Though Miranda certainly didn't like when Shepard directed that menace at Miranda herself.

Lying on her bunk Shepard turned her thoughts back to the man Kay. Shepard had known that Miranda was acquainted with the newest slave but now Shepard also knew that at one time she herself had dealings with the man. But Miranda didn't want to tell Shepard what it was because of the batarians. It was frustrating to say the least, especially since it was quite obvious to Shepard that Miranda knew the answers to all of Shepard's questions and simply wouldn't saying anything.

The first time Shepard had set eyes on Kay, a picture of him with a serious look on his face stepping into a dimly lit room with the door hissing shut behind him, had flashed across Shepard's mind followed by a blinding flash of pain. Now when she looked at Kay there was something in the back of her mind that told her that she knew this man and that this was a man to trust beyond reason. The hell of it was that Shepard couldn't remember _why_ she trusted him. Or why she should now, from the times she watched him and the two asari women that made up his family, there was something else going on with them. There really wasn't anything off about the way the three of them acted it was more a subliminal gut feel that all three of them, Kay, his asari partner Mara and Mara's daughter Leah, were not what they said they were.

Though, strangely Shepard trusted all three of them, far more than she trusted Miranda for some reason. Though she had no logical reason to trust them more than the woman who'd been at her side since she'd woken up on the space station with no memory of how she'd gotten there or even who she was. Shepard sighed and slid back out of her bunk, sitting on the floor in front of her bunk again. Shepard turned to look at Kay again. He was watching her, again. Their eyes meet and this time neither of them looked away again.

This time a picture of Kay in combat armor walking towards her among packing crates in a field of long gold colored grass and saying, _"Commander Shepard, Captain of the _Normandy_, the first human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a hero Delan, and a ghost."_ Shepard hissed and clenched her eyes shut in pain. The _Normandy_? Was she a Spectre? A hero? A ghost? What was that memory? Where and when had it taken place?

When Shepard opened her eyes again Kay was still watching her and he looked deeply concerned. Shepard's eyes narrowed in both annoyance and thought for a moment before she stood and walked over to Kay. Kay's eyes widened slightly in what looked like panic before his expression rapidly went blank. He couldn't entirely hide the whirl of emotions that Shepard had noticed before; loneliness and love, hope and desire. When Shepard sat facing Kay he cleared his throat and said cautiously, "Yes, Shepard?"

Shepard pursed her lips and thought a moment before saying, "I know your face, but it hurts when I remember."

Kaidan barely kept himself from flinching at Shepard's words and he closed his eyes. The desire to tell her exactly why she knew him was nearly overwhelming, but he couldn't break cover. His mission here was too important, but what could he do or say without giving himself away? After taking a deep calming breath, Kaidan opened his eyes and met Shepard's gaze. Those familiar green eyes were coldly appraising him and his reaction to her words. Kaidan swallowed and chose his words carefully, "Shepard, if it hurts to remember don't try." if she was anywhere near as sharp as she'd been she would interpret that as _'I can't tell you here and now.'_

Kaidan watched Shepard's eyes as she thought about what he'd said. After a moment she nodded slowly and said, "Perhaps you're right; but eventually I'll remember."

Kaidan kept himself from smiling in relief, she did understand then, at least at some level, "Perhaps, I hope you'll talk to me when you do." Kaidan watched Shepard stand and walk back to her bunk and lay down once again.

"You answered that well Kay," Samara said from the bunk above his own.

Kaidan sighed and said, without looking away from Shepard, "I think that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do…" after a moment of thought Kaidan shook his head still watching her, "no it wasn't the hardest, but it's near the top of the list."

"I understand," Samara said simply. Kaidan looked away from Shepard and met the Justicar's gaze. There was no pity there, Kaidan would have been offended if there was, but rather a deep understanding of pain and a despair so deep it was nearly soul eclipsing.

Kaidan took a breath to ask something but thought better of it and only nodded. When they finished this mission Kaidan would have to ask how Samara had survived killing 'the bravest and strongest of her daughters.' Kaidan breathed an ironic laugh, doubtless when this mission was over he would actually be capable of understanding her answer.

OoOoO

There was the sound of a muffled explosion from above and the slight pattering of rock and dirt falling from the cave ceiling woke Kaidan two weeks later. Kaidan sat up so fast he forgot about the low clearance of Samara's bunk above his own and smacked his head firmly on one of the platform's support braces. Kaidan slid out of the bunk to crouch in the dirt, slightly dazed rubbing his head. When the room stopped spinning Kaidan stood. The slaves he'd convinced to help him revolt were cautiously drifting over. Kaidan smiled grimly as he watched Shepard and Miranda come over as well though he hadn't spoken to either about revolting against the batarian overseers.

One of the elcor said, "Cautious inquiry: That is what you were waiting for was it not human?"

Kaidan's smile widened, "Yes, exactly." Kaidan reached behind his head and detached small device from the back of his slave's neuro-connection head set. He motioned to Samara and she turned her back to him. He touched the device to her head set and it beep and came off. He handed the device to Samara and she deactivated his head set then Liara's. Kaidan turned to the crowd of gathered slaves, "Tonight is the night, my friends."

"Who are you?" Shepard asked.

"I'm a representative of the Batarian Rebellion. We're taking Camala in their name and it starts with all of you."

"We're just a bunch of broken slaves. There's more than two million Hegemony Batarians on Camala, what possible difference can we make!"

"All the difference to this world; all it takes is one stone to start an avalanche." Kaidan swept the crowd of slaves with his eyes slowly, before adding, "Don't think for a moment that we will be standing alone. But we must stand."

Miranda chimed in from next to Shepard, "It's the right of every sentient being to be free. I say we follow Kay and take back our right."

"With what?" one of the batarian slaves asked.

A feral grin spread across Kaidan's face, "Follow me and I'll give you all the weapons you need."

Samara, who was moving through the crowd of slaves removing head sets, hissed, "Kay the guards!"

The batarian overseers had realized something was happening with the slaves and had come to break up the crowd of nearly two dozen congregating slaves. One of the batarians saw what Samara was doing and pulled his electro-whip from his belt. Kaidan growled and pushed through the crowd of slaves to engage the guards. Suicidal, at eighteen to one odds, but he had to give Samara enough time to get the head sets off the other slaves.

Kaidan's first target was the guard with the electro-whip. The man threw his arm back to swing it and Kaidan raised his left arm as the whip shot forward. Kaidan dimly heard himself hiss in pain as the whip connected and wrapped around his forearm. Kaidan grabbed it and yanked, pulling it out of the guard's hand. He spun to avoid the guard's lunge and caught the whip's handle in his right hand. Kaidan had only the vaguest idea how to use a bullwhip much less it's evolved form, but he would take what he could get. He swung the whip at it former wielder, who didn't react fast enough and got the whip full in the face. He went down with a scream. Kaidan felt someone grab his shoulder and he moved to get away when another one of the guards grabbed his other shoulder. A third guard punched Kaidan in the stomach.


	34. Chapter 34 Fleeting

Kaidan clenched his teeth and flicked his wrist trying to swing the whip. He was partially successful, the guard holding his right shoulder howled and let go of him. As the guard that had hit him stepped forward to do so again, Shepard stepped in front of him. The guard hesitated a moment, it was all the time Shepard needed. She hit the man hard in the stomach then in the face and he went down. Kaidan took advantage of the distraction to rid himself of the batarian holding his left shoulder. That done he spun and out of habit put his back to Shepard's. The two of them worked together better than they ever had. Together the two of them made short work of the remaining fourteen batarian guards.

When the last guard finallydecided to stay down, Kaidan looked up at Shepard she met his gaze for a moment before saying, "When this is all over you're going to have to tell me why that," she waved a hand at the downed guards, "felt like coming home."

Kaidan couldn't contain the laugh as he answered, "Of course."

Most of the slaves stood watching Shepard and Kaidan in shock. One of the batarians gathered his wits enough to speak up, "_Who_ are you people?"

"Kay, you said something about weapons?" Lawson said.

Kaidan nodded and winced as he flexed his left hand and wrist. That was going to sting for a while yet. Kaidan waved his hand for the other former slaves to follow him, "This way." Kaidan turned and led them through the mining tunnels to where the _Normandy_ was supposed to have dropped a cache of weapons, food and medical supplies. Though, if he remembered correctly, there wasn't going to be anything that would help with his left arm, which was starting to go into rather painful spasms.

When they reached the cache Samara, Liara and he began handing out the supplies to the former slaves. This didn't take all that long though somehow instead of twenty ex-slaves there were now thirty-four. Kaidan shook his head smiling and handed the new comers combat gear as well.

When the entire group of ex-slaves was armed Kaidan split everyone up into three teams. Taking into account everything he knew about Miranda he decided to save Liara and Samara the trouble and take Lawson in his own group along with Shepard. He did not like Lawson much but she was, by all accounts, good in a fight.

Kaidan looked at Liara then Samara they both nodded gravely back at Kaidan. He took a deep breath and pulled himself up on one of the empty shipping crates. The ex-slaves slowly turned their attention to him. Kaidan took a deep breath then cleared his throat, "The explosion we heard earlier was a signal that in less than an hour Batarian Rebel forces are going to be hitting the Hegemony Armed Forces Bases in both Ujon and Hatre simultaneously. Our part is to take out the Hegemony Work Camp."

Kaidan let his eyes wander over the collect crowd, "The Hegemony uses it's slaves and then discards them like trash, well today we slaves stand up and say 'Not one more!'" the gathered slaves didn't cheer. Kaidan hadn't really expected them to; they were too practical after months or years of surviving hard labor, to be susceptible to rhetoric. Kaidan looked around at the gathered slaves, "stay with your group leader, and follow their orders. The three of us know the layout of both the tunnels and the Work Camp itself."

Kaidan jumped down from the crate and came face to face with Miranda Lawson, "Yes?"

"I-" she started but interupted herself with a shake of her head.

Kaidan wanted to snarl at her but restrained himself. He needed to get his group moving. He'd deal with Lawson later. His anger must have showed on his face because Lawson braced and clearly forced herself not to step back. Kaidan looked up and caught Shepard's eye. She stepped up to his side with no expression beyond cold glee in her eyes. She was clearly looking forward to this fight.

Kaidan led his group through the mining tunnels headed for the opposite side of the Work Camp from where the mine he'd labored in for the past three weeks came out. When Kaidan's group reached the slave barracks of this new mine, the slaves were already evacuated. Good it made life easier. Kaidan led his group up to the large steel door that led to the surface. He slammed it with dark energy. After one groan of protest the door collapsed outward. Kaidan stepped over it, he dimly heard whispering behind him. Kaidan allowed the ghost of a smile to touch his face, with the very few exceptions, his biotic powers spiked higher than any other humans.

Another five minutes of jogging brought Kaidan and his group to the surface of Camala in sight of the Hegemony Work Camp. As planned Samara and Liara's group had arrived first through their former work place and began a fire fight with the Hegemony guards. Kaidan dropped back and began assigning ex-slaves to specific points of cover - overhangs, boulders, and fissures in the rocky ground- in a semi-circular pattern around the Hegemony forces. When Kaidan was certain that everyone knew where they were supposed to be and would actually stay there he returned to Shepard and Lawson. He eyed Lawson for a moment, she was a biotic but she was not a hand to hand fighter. Kaidan turned and looked at the lay of the land again. Turning back he said to Lawson, "I want you on the wall near the center of the camp."

Kaidan turned to Shepard. Did he have the right t ask an amnesiac woman to step into a life or death fire fight with him? But she had chosen this fight just as surely as the other ex-slaves had. Kaidan rubbed his roughly bearded chin thinking about how to get across what he wanted to say, "Shepard, you may not remember what you were before, but your body does. You jumped in that fight before."

Shepard was looking at him with her eyes narrowed in pain, "Yes, it seems to me that we fought like that before."

"Focus, Shepard!" Kaidan grabbed Shepard's shoulders. Something like an electric shock jolted through them both and Kaidan realized that this was the first time they'd actually touched since he'd come to Camala.

"Your name is Kaidan not Kay. Even though I sometimes called you that."

Kaidan nodded, "I was undercover. I wish I could tell you everything. But in addition to this being a really bad time, you aren't supposed to tell amnesiacs anything of their pasts if you can help it." Kaidan shook his head, "now is not the time Shepard. Can you fight like you did in the slave barracks again?" Shepard nodded, her expression was determined but there was a softening in the coldness he'd seen in her since he'd come here. Kaidan nodded back and he felt himself smirk, "let's get it done." Shepard's answering smirk was entirely her old self.

The two of them ran forward side by side with Lawson a few steps behind. Kaidan's group of ex-slaves began firing their weapons. Their personal kinetic barriers came up as a few of their allies hit them with friendly fire. The Hegemony forces, though they were completely surprised by the new angle of attack that put them in the middle of a lethal crossfire, refused to surrender when Kaidan offered the chance. With grim determination the Batarian Hegemony forces fought on to the last man. Kaidan stood shaking his head, military stupidity plain and simple, most of the batarian troopers needn't have died. Kaidan found the Hegemony Work Camp foreman and dug out his pass card and codes. Straightening he strode to the sealed bunker in the middle of the Work Camp.

All the rest of the Camalan mine slaves would be inside the bunker. Kaidan frowned eying the door worriedly. Knowing the Hegemony they would rig some nasty trap to kill the slaves in case of a rescue attempt. Even though the Rebels didn't have any information on such a trap Kaidan wasn't going to take the chance. He would wait, the _Normandy_ would be there soon and he would have access to the equipment he would need to detect if there were any explosive devices rigged to the bunker.

When the _Normandy_ landed in the work camp's shuttle port Kaidan walked towards it with deliberate calm. Garrus and Jacob came out from the _Normandy_'s hanger. Kaidan walked up to both of them and he and Garrus shook hands briefly. With a deliberately teasing air Kaidan observed mildly, "You took your sweet time, Garrus."

Garrus's mandibles opened in a turian smile as he answered in the same teasing manner, "Well we had a few things that our Rebel friends asked us to do. Before that we had to go to the Migrant Fleet. Just a few minor things."

Kaidan laughed slightly, "Right," he shook his head and allowed his smile to fade, "SitRep?"

"Both Hegemony garrisons have fallen to Rebel forces. The rest of the ground team and our marines are assisting in clearing out loyalist resistance in Ujon. I've gotten reports that Hatre's garrison had to be razed to the ground, they refused to surrender and threatened to atomize the city proper."

Kaidan nodded, "Losses?"

Garrus shook his head, the amusement in expression fading, "No deaths; Private Kishimoto took a shoot in the abdomen; he's still in surgery. There's a few other minor injuries nothing serious."

Kaidan relaxed measurably and smiled slightly, "Excellent," Kaidan clapped Garrus on the shoulder.

Garrus started smiled and then froze looking at something over Kaidan's shoulder and snarled, "By the Spirits!" and drew his assault rifle.

Kaidan turned to see what had gotten Garrus's negative attention; it was Miranda Lawson. Kaidan hesitated for a long moment before saying to Garrus, "Hold it, Garrus, have Lawson put in confinement for extradition to the Citadel for trial."

Garrus growled lowly but moved to obey. "Why?" Shepard asked not angrily, just curiously. Kaidan jumped slightly. He hadn't realized that Shepard was standing so close behind him. Shepard noticed him start and said, "sorry, Kaidan."

Kaidan smiled and turned, "You're the only person who could ever do that to me, Shepard."

Shepard cocked her head and asked, "Really?" Kaidan still smiling, nodded. After a moment Shepard refocused on her original question and asked, "What did Miranda do?"

Kaidan watched as Garrus spoke briefly to Lawson. When Garrus finished speaking she nodded looking very reluctant, but she didn't argue with Garrus. Garrus waved an arm towards the _Normandy_ in an after you gesture. Kaidan breathed out slowly thinking and refocused on Shepard. After a moment he answered slowly, "Crimes against the state." Shepard's eyes narrowed and Kaidan put up his hands, "remember what I told you before about amnesiacs? This has to do with that, I'm sorry but I shouldn't say anything more until you talk to our doctor or the specialist on the Citadel."

Shepard's eyes narrowed again this time in thought, "Why a specialist?"

Kaidan chuckled, and said, "I don't think so Shepard." and turned to Jacob, "Jacob," Kaidan gestured at the sealed bunker, "the rest of the slaves from the mines will be in there. I would like for your people to check that for explosives before it's opened just in case."

Jacob saluted and walked off to do as Kaidan ordered.

Kaidan sighed and ran his along his three weeks worth of beard growth, and muttered to himself, "I need a shower and a shave…"

"I don't know, I think you might look handsome with a goatee," Shepard commented amused.

Kaidan snorted in amusement and shook his head, "Sounds itchy."

Shepard giggled and Kaidan had to catch his breath. For a while there, cold as she'd been acting, he'd never thought to hear the sound of her laugh again. Still smiling, Kaidan said, "Want to come aboard the _Normandy_, Shepard?" Kaidan saw Garrus coming out of the _Normandy_'s cargo area as he walked towards the ship.

Shepard inhaled sharply and asked with a tremor in her voice, "The _Normandy_ is a ship?"

Something in her voice made Kaidan stop. He spun to catch Shepard just as she collapsed.


	35. Chapter 35 Formation

"Crap," Kaidan muttered.

"That's rather mild," Garrus observed.

"Huh," was Kaidan's only reply. Without out looking at Garrus, Kaidan swung Shepard up into his arms and started towards the _Normandy_. He could hear Garrus following him as he walked to the Normandy's elevator and all three of them rode it up to deck three.

When Garrus and Kaidan entered the Med Bay, Dr. Chakwas and her two corpsmen were just taking off blood splattered sterile surgical gloves. Dr. Chakwas focused on Kaidan and Shepard in his arms. Dr. Chakwas sighed deeply and turned to one of her corpsman saying, "Record Kisihimoto's blood pressure and temperature every fifteen minutes for the next four hours. Give him five MIU of MediGel intravenously once every twelve hours and another two units of whole blood set for a four hour dispersal period."

Dr. Chakwas turned back to Kaidan and Garrus as she began untying her surgical gown, "Lay Shepard down there," the doctor indicated an empty hospital bed with a jerk of her chin. Kaidan did so gently and after a moment the bed's monitoring devices automatically switched on. Dr. Chakwas glanced up at the screen that showed Shepard's vitals. After a moment she turned to Kaidan and observed, "Shepard wasn't sedated," Kaidan shook his head though the doctor hadn't made that a question. Dr. Chakwas dumped her soiled surgical garb in the biohazard waste disposal unit and then walked over to where Shepard lay. With practiced ease she attached two wireless control monitors to Shepard's temples and one to her right index finger. Dr. Chakwas watched as the hospital bed picked up the new devices and began to report data. The doctor rubbed her eyes and then turned to Kaidan again and asked slowly, "What happened, Commander?"

Kaidan after a moment's hesitation began his description with Shepard's intense pain upon seeing him for the first time in the slaves' barracks before going into a lengthy description of everything he'd observed of Shepard's behavior and ending with the short discussion before Shepard had fainted. Dr. Chakwas listened carefully until Kaidan was done speaking. Then he watched as she slowly walked over to her desk and sat down. Kaidan knew a great deal of combat medicine and had a paramedic's training, but he'd never even heard of anything that came close to what Shepard had gone through.

Kaidan had had some vague idea in his head that maybe Dr. Chakwas could figure out how best to treat Shepard, but from the expression forming on the doctor's face she didn't have any clear treatment methods in mind that she was willing to try without Dr. T'Inga's expert advice as well as her full approval and participation. Kaidan was clearly right in his guess, because Dr. Chakwas said slowly, "I would like to work with Dr. T'Inga on this case." she sat forward in her chair more decided, "I have a few ideas in mind but Dr. T'Inga has been studying the way sentient/sapient species minds function on both a chemical and a psychological level for centuries longer than either of have been alive."

OoOoO

While the _Normandy_ was in route to the Citadel Kaidan was doing routine consol work in his office on the Crew Quarters deck, when he received two messages. The first from Wrex on Tuchanka read:

_Kaidan Alenko, Leader of the Apollo Group, Spectre_ _of the Citadel Council, Staff Commander of the Systems Alliance and acting Captain of the _SSV Normandy

_Garrus Vakarian, Chief Executive Officer of the Apollo Group, Brevetted Lieutenant Commander of the Systems Alliance and acting Executive Officer of the _SSV Normandy

_Dr. Liara T'Soni, Chief Intelligence Officer of the Apollo Group_

_Clan Urdenot herby pledges support to the Apollo Group. In honor of this alliance the Urdenot Troop Carriers _Wever_ and _Cantr _with their full troop compliment_ _will be docking at the Minuteman Station awaiting further orders from Apollo group leadership._

_Urdnot Wrex, Battle Master, Chief of Clan Urdenot _

_Clan Urdnot Shaman_

_Urdnot Wreav, Battle Master_

The second message was strange. It was sent from Citadel Station that much Kaidan could tell at first glance based on ISP address:

_Leader of the Apollo Group,_

_This One has heard of the Apollo Group and pledges the rachni in support of Galactic Unification and the fight against the Ones Who Soured the Songs of My Ancestors, known in the songs of your race as the Reapers. To make this duet stronger this One has researched the Citadel Council's Universal Translators and created a similar device so that this One's species may sing easily with the other races of the galaxy. This One has sent one of these devices to the Citadel Council along with this One's friends the asari Kolna and Ilva T'Orin and several of this One's children. When this One's friends are finished singing to the Citadel Council this One's friend Kolna T'Orin will represent the rachni's songs to the Apollo Group._

_Written By Kolna T'Orin in proxy for the Rachni Queen Mother_

Kaidan reread the second message twice before remembering the report Shepard had made of the odd conversation she'd had with an unnamed asari on Illium. Kaidan went through the lengthy code verification of his identity and right to see classified Alliance military files and pulled up Shepard's debriefing from when she'd rejoined the Alliance fleet after her mission against the Collectors. Scrolling down he found the bit he was looking for. Kaidan couldn't suppress the slight shiver then went down his spine. Shepard's description, while short, was very vivid, and the wording of the message he'd received was very similar to what Shepard reported was said by that random asari on Illium.

Kaidan thought for a moment before paging Liara, Garrus and Samara. They came into his office together a few moments later. Standing, Kaidan walked to the debriefing area of the large office and sat down; Garrus and Liara sat down in the chairs on either side of him while Samara sat across from him. Kaidan activated the holoprojector in the middle of the circle of chairs and pulled up the message from Wrex and the message from the Rachni Queen side by side. He said aloud, "I just got these."

All three read the messages rapidly and then turned to Kaidan. Garrus was the first to speak, "I got the one from Wrex, too."

Liara nodded, "I received that one as well. This is a very large gesture but not surprising. Wrex always held Shepard in high reguard. Wrex was likely holding off to see if you would succeed in getting Shepard back."

Kaidan nodded slowly, "I hadn't thought of it that way but perhaps in Wrex's mind we succeed in some sort Rite of Passage by actually getting Shepard back."

Liara usual serene smile spread across her face as she nodded and said, "Exactly; you earned the right to be considered a worthy Battle Master by doing what Wrex himself would have done."

Garrus leaned forward and reread the Queen's message again, "The rachni; the Council may not be too happy about that one."

Kaidan nodded again, "But at least they can't act surprised about it."

Liara pursed her lips and observed, "But there could be serious ramifications with the Salarians on that one."

"Both positive and negative ones, particularly those who feel some racial guilt over the genophage," Garrus observed, "there's also still division in the Turian Hegemony about that as well. So the rachni could have problems with my people as well."

"Yes; true, but that's not why I called you two here." Kaidan said, "the Apollo group is now getting official governmental support from more than just the Systems Alliance. I need to make the Apollo Group's Charter more official."

Garrus focused all his attention on Kaidan and said, "Your Councilor Anderson would know more about that."

Liara observed, "I believe that Ambassador Udina would also be a useful resource in this capacity."

Samara, who up until that point had been sitting back in her chair taking everything in, sat forward slowly. She said, "On Thessia, in ancient times when a new City-State established itself they leader of the city would create a 'City Charter'. On Earth, when the United States established the famous democratic government after their Revolutionary War, they wrote 'The Constitution'. When the Batarian Rebellion first truly established itself they wrote their 'Declaration of Intent'." Samara sat back in her chair again, "I believe that if you were follow this very logical tradition then you and your chosen officers would have to write a similar document for the Apollo Group."

Kaidan felt his eyebrow rise. That was why he'd included Samara in this briefing; she was one of the more political savvy of his people even if she thought her self above it all. After standing Kaidan said "Alright thank you, all. You're dismissed." when the three of them had left, Kaidan went back to his desk and sat down.

After several minutes of thought Kaidan began compiling a list of possible precepts of the Apollo group. After jotting down his ideas on that score he began another document to distribute to a select group of advisors. He wished that Legion and Tali weren't on detached duty negotiating with the Geth Collective and the Admiralty Board at the moment, he would have liked to have their insight on this, but he would obviously have to do without. He included both the messages of support he'd received from Wrex and the Rachni Queen and a copy of the agreement with the Batarian Rebellion. That done he made copies on encrypted OSDs for Garrus, Liara and Samara.

Kaidan then sent three messages requesting an official meeting in three days time the same information attached; to Wrex requesting an official Clan Urdenot representative, to Jelvan Del'amon requesting a representative from the Batarian Rebellion, and to Kolna T'Orin requesting that she and at least one of the rachni children be present to represent the Rachni Queen Mother. Kaidan attached a copy of the same files to a message for Councilor Anderson and Admiral Hackett requesting that they meet with him and the gathered Apollo Group representatives on the Citadel in three days.

OoOoO

Dr. Hara T'Inga and her twenty year old daughter met Kaidan at the _Normandy_'s airlock as soon as they docked with the Citadel. Kaidan decided that Shepard would be safest aboard the _Normandy_. Because the _Normandy_ might be obliged to leave with very little warning Kaidan had decided to invite the doctor and her very young daughter to stay aboard his ship until Shepard was back to normal.

Kaidan led the doctor and her daughter, Rei, to the _Normandy_'s Starboard Cargo Area. Kaidan had ordered the area refitted with two fairly comfortable beds and a small bathroom. Despite the hasty overhaul the Cargo Area looked like any normal hotel room on the Citadel. Rei had asked permission to wander the ship. Kaidan had looked at the young asari, she looked and acted like a human child of a bit less than half that age, a bit dubiously before paging Thane to show Rei around the _Normandy_ and to keep the young girl out of trouble.

Once Rei had left with Thane, Kaidan took Dr. T'Inga to the Med Bay. Shortly after they'd arrived Kaidan was summarily dismissed by Dr. T'Inga, Dr. Chakwas and her two corpsmen before he could ask a single question. Which was just as well he needed to take Samara and Liara to Councilor Anderson's office for their debriefing of the events on Camala.

Now Kaidan stood in Councilor Anderson's office. He and Anderson were standing together looking over the Presidium. The two of them were alone at present and had been for several minutes. Kaidan had updated the entire Council on Shepard's status and Udina had left to contact Dr. T'Inga. Liara and Samara had gone to meet up with some of the _Normandy_'s crew in the Dark Star Lounge.

After several more minutes of meditative silence, Anderson asked, "Do you still intend to hunt down 'the Illusive Man'?

Kaidan looked up, slightly off set by the question. After taking a moment to switch gears Kaidan observed in a mild tone that hid his true annoyance, "We've got to find out that man's actual name."

Anderson kept his politician's calm expression on his face and observed in the same mild tone of voice that Kaidan had used, "You didn't answer my question."

Kaidan felt his mouth twitch and he fought not to smile, out blanding a career politician was a full time job. He did manage to keep the smile off his face as he replied mildly, "The Apollo Group's first stated objective is to dismantle the terrorist organization known as the 'Cerberus Group.'"

Anderson his expression still entirely serene in turn observed mildly, "'Apollo Group' is a very interesting name for an organization that is solely out to dismantle a terrorist organization."

Kaidan pursed his lips to keep from grinning this time, "Of course most of the core Apollo Group, know that the organization's real target is going to be the Reapers. And that our real task is to remove any threats to galactic unification."

Anderson, his eyes steady and devoid of the humor that Kaidan knew he was feeling, said neutrally, "Hence the Apollo Group's heavy official involvement in the Liberation of Camala from the Batarian Hegemony by the Batarian Rebellion."

Kaidan had to clench his jaw to stop the smile of deep satisfaction from spreading across his face, "The Apollo Group is an official cross species governmental agency now."

"So your message implied. Ambassador Udina had several very interesting things to say on that account." Kaidan was saved from his ultimately futile effort not to show any of his deep amusement by Anderson clearing his throat and dragging the conversation from its idle banter to an official capacity, "Admiral Hackett will be here tomorrow to help you write your Apollo Group's official… charter." Anderson smiled slightly as he added, "from his message to me I can tell you he was glad for an excuse to take a break from the Alliance politicians and come to the Citadel."

Kaidan chuckled, "I got that impression, too." Kaidan felt some of his amusement fade and he said, "the Apollo Group already has a charter actually. I was thinking, and I'm sorry I wasn't more clear in my message, about writing some sort of constitution for the Apollo Group."

Anderson sighed, "You were clear enough in your message. Are you certain you know what you're doing Kaidan? With the Reaper threat we can't risk a Galactic Civil War."

Kaidan nodded, "I'm entirely certain that this is the best way to go about this. The reason I wanted Hackett to be here is because he's the only one I trust that believes the Reaper threat is real that knows how the Alliance government system works."

Anderson's face reflected shock for a moment before growing swiftly blank again, "This idea of your might be better than I had originally thought."

Kaidan felt his already solemn mood turn morbid, "I certainly hope that this idea is as good as I think it is or else the galaxy is in a lot of trouble."

_Before anyone says anything about there being no difference between being sapient and sentient I suggest you do one or both of the following: _

_1) Go look both words up in a dictionary (even )._

_2) Go to this page: http:/ tvtropes . org / pm wik i / pm / YouKeepUsingThatWord / Very Pedantic and read the entry on sapient/sentient_

_Also what Kaidan's doing with the Apollo Group is something like the formation of the Coalition of Planets in STAR TREK which was supposed to be a precursor to the Federation (i.e. each member species is a sovereign state) and that may be part of where the idea comes from but the main inspiration comes exactly where Kaidan said: the Systems Alliance that features so prominently in Mass Effect 1 and to a lesser extent in Mass Effect 2._


	36. Chapter 36 Preparations

When his debriefing with the Council and his meeting with Councilor Anderson was over Kaidan returned to the _Normandy_. Not wanting to bother the _Normandy_'s medical team while they were working, Kaidan, reluctant to even face the temptation of being on the Crew Quarters Deck, went to the Loft to finish the terminal work that he'd neglected in favor of the Apollo Group's admittedly pressing legitimacy and legal matters. After an hour and a half of tapping away on his terminal at everything that remotely resembled work, Kaidan pushed away from his desk with a sigh.

Kaidan stood up and wandered around the Loft idly for about five minutes before EDI popped up and said, "Commander, Dr. Chakwas is requesting your presence in the Med Bay, Shepard is awake."

Kaidan left the Loft at a run. During the elevator ride down to the Crew Quarters deck, Kaidan breathed deeply and tried to relax at least enough so that he wouldn't appear anything but in calm control of himself. When the elevator opened Kaidan walked calmly into the Med Bay. The medicos where clustered around Dr. Chakwas desk in chairs that were obviously commandeered from the galley, talking and theorizing how to get Shepard's brain chemistry back to the way it was before Cerberus and Miranda had interfered.

Kaidan aimed a vague salute at the four as he passed them and walked over to where Shepard lay. She focused on him as he walked towards her, there was recognition in her eyes as she smiled wanly at him and said, "Hi, Kaidan."

For a moment, Kaidan couldn't tell if she had remembered everything or not. Searching her eyes for… something; that spark of amusement, that fire of determination and that soft light of empathy all of which weren't there the entire time he was on Camala masquerading as a slave, were still missing from her green eyes. She was still only half here. So Kaidan checked his initial response of '_Welcome home, Wildcat._' in favor of a simple, "Hey."

Shepard studied his face briefly and sighed. She reached towards him and brushed his cheek lightly, "It's not fair," her expression was one of annoyance now.

Kaidan confused asked, "What's not fair Shepard?"

"I _know_ I know you, but I can't remember _how_ I know you." her hand left his cheek and moved in a frustrated gesture in his direction as she asked, "why do I know you better than I know myself?"

Kaidan laid his left hand on her forehead and caught her left hand in his right, "Shepard, I wish I could answer all your questions about everything, but you know I can't."

Shepard breathed an annoyed sigh and nodded under his hand, "Sorry. This is just so frustrating."

Kaidan nodded in sympathy. He was frustrated as well, though probably not nearly as frustrated as Shepard herself was. The two of them stayed like that, holding hands and with his left hand on her forehead for several minutes before Dr. T'Inga said, "Commander Alenko?" Kaidan turned to look at her and she said, "Shepard needs to rest now."

Kaidan nodded to Shepard he said, "I'll come visit you later, Shepard."

Dr. T'Inga and Dr. Chakwas walked out of the Med Bay with him. When the door closed behind them Kaidan said, "I take it you two have something to tell me?" Dr. Chakwas nodded and Kaidan said, "we can talk privately in my office."

Once the three of them were seated in the briefing area of Kaidan's office, Dr. Chakwas said, "When we first examined her, before she left with Miranda Lawson to rejoin Cerberus, Shepard's implants were working the way they were designed to as far as I could tell, at the time."

Kaidan interrupted to ask, "At the time?"

Dr. Chakwas nodded and explained, "I was never given full technical schematics on the regenerative implants that the Lazarus Cell of Cerberus used to bring Shepard back from being 'clinically dead'." Dr. Chakwas used her omni-tool to activate the room's holoprojector and pulled up a 3-D model of one of the implants that had brought Shepard back. Dr. Chakwas then brought up the schematics of the implants that Kaidan, Liara and Primea had stolen from the Blue Suns research facility. That done the doctor continued her lecture, "the implants that you recovered from the Blue Suns facility are, I estimate a generation more advanced than the ones that Shepard currently has. One of my corpsman, Dmitri, used a high level molecular scan on Shepard's implants on hunch and found this," Dr. Chakwas tapped a few keys on her omni-tool and the picture zoomed in on the implant that was located at the base of Shepard's skull, just a little below her L3 implant.

Kaidan wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to be seeing until Dr. Chakwas zoomed in again and a yellow circle appeared around a small circuit board that looked something like a radio transceiver from the twentieth century Earth, "My god," Kaidan breathed, and looked up at Dr. T'Inga.

Dr. T'Inga nodded a smile spreading across her face, "You understand, Commander. The pulsing in her nervous system that I noted when I examined her before, Dr. Chakwas, her corpsmen and I firmly believe that this is where that pulsing was coming from. And why the Illusive Man was able to, for all intents and purposes indoctrinate her."

Dr. Chakwas shut the holoprojector down and smiled at Kaidan, "We also believe that if we remove the old implants and install new ones her brain chemistry will normalize and return to the way it was before the indoctrination."

Kaidan sat beck his chair slowly before asking, "And Shepard's memory?"

Dr. T'Inga frowned, "I don't know if that was caused by indoctrination reacting to the batarian truth serum or not. It could simply have been Shepard's mind reacting to not wanting to tell the Illusive Man anything or it could have been caused by shear mental exhaustion. I'm leaning more towards that one myself, based on everything that Shepard's been through these last few years."

Kaidan was nodding in agreement when another thought occurred to him, "How did the Blue Suns end up with this kind of technology?"

EDI popped up in her interface next to the holoprojector, "They were contracted to steal the regeneration implant technology from Cerberus by Binary Helix. When the job was done the corporation then contracted them to help research and test the technology they had just stolen. All of this information was in the research that you stole from the facility, Commander."

"So where does all this," Kaidan waved towards the projector as he continued, "leave us."

Dr. Chakwas smiled as she said, "I believe we can build copies of the new implants aboard the _Normandy_. With your permission, Commander we can get started."

Kaidan nodded, "Do it." as an afterthought he asked, "how long will it take?"

"To build the implants? About a week. After that there are some tests mentioned in the Blue Sun's documents that need to be run on them, which should take about a day. Then we can replace the ones Shepard has right now."

Kaidan nodded again, "Do you need anyone from engineering?"

The doctors looked at each other briefly, "We think you would be the only one with the necessary technical and medical expertise to help us with the implants."

Kaidan snorted in ironic amusement, "Right, unfortunately you can only have me for the rest of today and tomorrow. After that I have the meeting for the Apollo group which could take weeks to finish what we need to do. You can use the AI Core as a lab I suppose." Kaidan focused his attention on EDI before continuing, "EDI run through a list of Alliance personnel on the Citadel and in Third Fleet for officers with the right technical and medical background for the task. Also compile a list of everything the doctors might need for this task that we don't have aboard the _Normandy_ and send it to my terminal."

"Yes, Commander," EDI answered as prompt as ever.

Kaidan turned back to the doctors and asked, "Is there anything else?" they shook their heads and the meeting broke up.

OoOoO

Kaidan went up to the Loft to take a shower and change while he waited for that requisition list and the list of Alliance officers that could take his place on the implant team. Kaidan wished he could build the implants himself but he was the only one who could run the upcoming Apollo Group Summit. Anyone with the proper medical and technical background could build those implants. After showering Kaidan pulled on a clean pair of Alliance undress blues and shaved. On the way to the Citadel from Camala, Kaidan finally decided to keep a goatee like Shepard had suggested.

Kaidan checked his terminal and found both lists there. He quickly signed the requisition order before pulling up the list of Alliance officers. There were only about a dozen names on it, most of them were Alliance sentinels like himself and Shepard. Kaidan wasn't sure how to judge which officer was the best for this task. After a moment of thought Kaidan punch up the code for Fleet Admiral Anton Borshevsky of Third Fleet. Because of their proximity Kaidan was able to get a visual link with the _**S**__SV_ _Elbrus_. Kaidan spoke briefly with the ship's communications officer before he was put online with the Admiral himself.

When the Admiral came on the line, "Staff Commander Alenko, Captain Addison spoke highly of you when he returned to the Citadel. You've convinced him and the rest of my captains that you're a tactical genius."

Kaidan felt his face heat slightly. He cleared his throat and said, "I was just doing my job Admiral."

The Admiral laughed, "A lot of people simply 'do their jobs', not many of them get the results that you do." Kaidan blinked taken a back, hadn't Shepard told him once while they were hunting Saren that Admiral Hackett had said nearly the same thing? Before Kaidan could think of a reply the Admiral went on, "be that as it may, you must have called me for something more than to get embarrassed by well deserved praise, what can I do for you Commander?"

Kaidan shook his head forcing his mind back to his original reason for contacting Admiral Borshevsky, "I find myself in a difficult position with regards to Captain Shepard's condition. Two days from now I'm meeting with several members of the Apollo Group to sketch out a better set of precepts. However, a little while ago my medical team informed me that in order to bring Captain Shepard back to full capacity myself or someone with my technical and medical expertise is needed to build new regeneration implants to replace the devices Cerberus implanted in her a little less than a year ago. As you can see this presents me with a problem, none of my personnel have the necessary training to replace me in such an endeavor."

The Admiral sat back slightly and looked a Kaidan for a moment before nodding in understanding, "And you would like to borrow an officer with the proper background from third fleet."

Kaidan nodded, "If you don't mind sir."

Admiral Borshevsky laughed, "You're a polite Spectre at least, since you could simply requisition whomever you want from my fleet." Kaidan blinked, not sure exactly what to say to that one. Admiral Borshevsky was expressive, which was nothing like his counterpart from the fifth fleet, Admiral Hackett, was a dead pan snarker most of the time. The Admiral still smiling, "my flagship's executive officer, Sara Tremaine, is a Sentinel as well and she'll thank me heartily for this assignment. I'll see that she reports to the _Normandy_ first thing in the morning."

"Thank you Admiral." Kaidan said. Admiral Borshevsky smiled once more and nodding, he cut the comm.

Kaidan sat back in his chair and sighed rubbing his eyes pulled up several historical Earth documents from various confederations and democratic founding documents. An hour later EDI interrupted his studying by popping up from her interface near the door saying, "Commander, Garrus is at the door."

Kaidan glanced up at EDI's interface, "Thank you, EDI, let him in." Kaidan stood and walked over to lean a shoulder on the gigantic empty fish tank and watch as Garrus entered the Loft. Garrus looked covertly around briefly before focusing on Kaidan. Kaidan pursed his lips to keep from smiling, he had an idea as to why Garrus was here but he would wait patiently for Garrus tell him.

Garrus was silent for a moment studying Kaidan's face, "I decided that you needed to have more fun than being amused by your subordinates."

Kaidan laughed. Garrus and Kaidan had known each for what seemed like an eternity, and evidently Garrus could see Kaidan's amusement, "And you decided to troop back to the _Normandy_ so you could mutiny by dragging me out for a drink with the guys?"

Garrus nodded, his mandibles opening briefly in a broad sarcastic turian grin, "Exactly."

Kaidan shook his head his amusement fading, "I have a few things to get done before the meeting with Apollo Group's members…"

Garrus cocked his head, "All of which you can do tomorrow. Kaidan you haven't been off the _Normandy_ for anything but missions and meetings since you met Shepard on Arcturus. How many months ago was that?"

"Um…about five months ago now…"Kaidan answered hesitantly.

"Exactly, you need to take some down time before you burn out or explode." Garrus said and stepped forward to wave at towards the door that led to the small lobby and the _Normandy_'s elevator.

Kaidan sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, "Right; true. Alright, let's go."

_Author's Note:_

_Jenna 53: I certainly hope you won't be disappointed with my ending. This story was always suposed to take place between two and three. It was never meant to replace three, but I'm not changing it to fit in with what we learn in three._


	37. Chapter 37 Beginnings

Kaidan rolled over in the bed and groaned. Damn Garrus right to hell, along with Vodka. That was the last time he would ever drink it, that stuff was only good for degreasing engines. Kaidan opened a bleary eye wide enough to read the time on the stereo next to the bed; 0800, far too early to be up on what was technically his duty free day especially considering how late he and Garrus had stumbled back to the _Normandy_ and how much alcohol Kaidan had actually imbibed. Kaidan closed his eye again and pulled the covers over his head, feeling vaguely like a little kid as he did so.

A couple minutes later Kaidan groaned and sat up ruffling his hair with his hand. It was no use trying to go back to sleep, he was thoroughly awake now. Kaidan got up, usually he didn't drink so much, he'd really needed to unwind, apparently. With a sigh, Kaidan went to go take a shower and get ready for the day.

Kaidan, owing to his prevailing hangover, walked past the galley and into the Med Bay for something to kill his pounding headache. Wide awake and irritatingly chipper, Dr. Chakwas and Dr. T'Inga were showing Lieutenant Commander Sara Tremaine around the Med Bay. She was about Shepard's true age which meant she was more than likely an L3 rather than an L2 like Kaidan was. Commander Tremaine snapped to attention and saluted when Kaidan came in the room. Kaidan blandly returned the salute and said, "Welcome aboard, Lieutenant Commander Tremaine."

"Thank you, sir." she stood down from attention to at ease.

Kaidan smiled slightly, Kaidan wondered if Admiral Borshevsky actually insisted on this level of discipline as a matter of course, the Admiral certainly hadn't seemed like a stickler for formality, or if Commander Tremaine was nervous about being aboard the _Normandy_. Kaidan said kindly, "I don't keep things too formal aboard the _Normandy_ most of the time."

"Yes, Commander," Tremaine murmured as she visibly relaxed.

Kaidan nodded to Tremaine and then to the two doctors before turning his attention to the medicine dispensary on the wall next to the door to the AI Core. Kaidan cached a general analgesic. That done he walked over to where Shepard was still asleep in her hospital bed. Kaidan brushed a hand across Shepard's forehead. Kaidan pulled back, he hadn't wanted to wake Shepard up. Never the less her eyes flickered a couple of times and she opened them. Her bright green eyes were blearily from sleep as she looked up at Kaidan and focused on his face. She smiled sleepily at him and rubbed her eyes.

"I was about to wake you up, Shepard; it's about time for your breakfast." Dr. Chakwas chimed in from behind Kaidan. Kaidan half turned when heard the Med Bay door open to reveal Dr. Chakwas's two corpsmen, Dmitri and Harris, came in. Dmitri was carrying a tray, presumably for Shepard.

Once Shepard was sitting up and fully occupied with eating her breakfast, Kaidan walked over to talk with the two doctors. Pitching his voice low so Shepard wouldn't be able to hear what he said, "Is really necessary to keep Shepard in the Med Bay twenty four seven?"

Dr. T'Inga nodded looking grim, "When Shepard woke up yesterday afternoon, we were going to let her move into Tali'Zorah vas Normandy's quarters, I understand she's away for the time being. But when she stood up she was having coordination problems."

"What? Why?" after a moment's thought Kaidan thought to add, "she wasn't having any problems like that while we were still on Camala."

Dr. T'Inga sighed and nodded, "So I was given to understand, she's have severe problems with muscular coordination and balance."

Kaidan thought about that for a moment, "Neurological stress?"

Dr. T'Inga nodded, "Based on the delay between the trauma and the onset, I would guess that this is a side effect of her conscious mind wanting to remember and some part her subconscious mind telling her that she really doesn't want to know."

Kaidan drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Classic; what, if anything, should we do about it?"

Dr. T'Inga pursed her lips for a moment considering, "I would not recommend doing anything until after her brain chemistry normalizes and then we'll reassess the situation."

"Right," Kaidan sighed and rubbed his eyes, "well I have some things I need to take care of before the summit tomorrow morning." with one last look at Shepard, Kaidan left the Med Bay.

Kaidan grabbed a bottle of orange juice from the drink dispenser and used it to wash his pills down. Rupert watched him surreptitiously with a slightly smug look on his face. Kaidan turned to look at the mess sergeant. Gardener's smug smile widened as Kaidan smirked back and rolled his eyes. Rupert was one of the reasons Kaidan drank so much last night and this morning. The man had challenged Kaidan and Garrus to a drinking contest.

Kaidan was mildly proud that he'd succeeded in drinking both of them under the table. Rupert had been the first to drop out; he'd fallen asleep right on the table. After that Garrus and Kaidan had gone shot for shot. By the time Garrus had slid out of his chair to the floor they'd each drank twenty one shots. Kaidan drank one more shot afterwards to officially finish the contest as the winner. One thing about being a biotic he metabolized alcohol, and drugs in general, rapidly.

When the medicine began to work Kaidan felt the muscles in his back and shoulders relax. Kaidan sighed and looked back at Rupert with a slight smile, "What's for breakfast Rupert?" the mess sergeant fixed Kaidan a tray; eggs, bacon, waffles and toast with butter. Too bad none of it was actually real, but at least it tasted good. "Thanks," Kaidan said and bore his tray to his office.

After several hours of working on his console, looking up information on the founding of democratic systems from different worlds, Kaidan sat back with a sigh. By far the most useful, to him anyways, was the Articles of Confederation from the United States, which was written in the late eighteenth century. Though he'd found a copy of the Asari Republic founding Constitution very helpful as well. Perhaps he was over estimating what his 'Apollo Coalition' could become, but something told him that whatever else happened, this was the next logical step for galaxy. To Kaidan this Coalition was the next evolution of galactic civilization, a step that the older civilizations of the galaxy, asari, salarian and turian, seemed unwilling to take for whatever reason.

The Citadel Council was all well and good but the Council itself was to discerning in which species were allowed to have a representative. Perhaps it was a human thing, or maybe his Canadian upbringing but Kaidan firmly believe that every species ought to have a right to have a voice when the laws governing them were decided.

Kaidan was so focused on what he was doing that he nearly jumped out of his skin in surprise when the door to his office opened. Kaidan turned from his console and looked up, attempting to bring his breathing under control as surreptitiously as possible. Thane, his son Kolyat, and Rei T'Inga were walking into Kaidan's office. Kaidan sat back in his desk chair and smiled welcomingly, "Good morning, Thane, Ms. T'Inga. It's been sometime Kolyat, how are things going for you in C-Sec? Is there something I can do for the three of you?"

A thin smile curved the corners of Thane's mouth as he said, "It is no longer morning, Commander. Rupert mentioned that you had not eaten yet, we thought you might join us for a late lunch."

Kaidan dug out the watch Shepard had given him on Arcturus and blinked in surprise, he'd been working for nearly five hours straight. Kaidan stood, "Thank you, I think that would be a good idea."

OoOoO

The next morning in Councilor Anderson's office, Kaidan, Liara and Garrus were waiting for the representatives from the various Apollo Group factions. The Councilor's office had been rearranged to accommodate the summit. His desk was pushed back and there were five tables arranged in a pentagon in the middle. Each table had a card with the name of the delegation and the appropriate numbers of chairs were set out for each delegation.

Admiral Borshevsky, Admiral Hackett and Captain Roy Mustang came in together trailed by two aides, one for each of the admirals. Kaidan and Garrus exchanged salutes with their fellow Alliance officers. Kaidan was getting slightly nervous when Admiral Hackett pulled him aside.

Hackett, his voice pitched low so it wouldn't carry, "The Alliance command has found independent confirmation to the Reaper reports that Shepard has been putting forward. The Prime Minister is going to be going on in less than an hour to officially report it to the public."

Kaidan's eyes widened in surprise and he cleared his throat, "What confirmation?"

Hackett, looking deeply ironic murmured, "I sent Captain Mustang and the _Ain Jalut _through the Omega Four Relay as a scout ship to take a look at the Collector Base; what was left of it anyways. They found undeniable evidence of an extra-galactic communications device. It was nearly intact and far more advance than anything our tech boys have even dreamed of."

Kaidan whistled quietly before something else occurred to him, "What about the indoctrination threat?"

Hackett smiled tightly and nodded, "One of the things the Watch Dog sent us was a full report of the Cerberus research team that was indoctrinated on that derelict Reaper last year."

Kaidan furrowed his brow and cocked his head to the side, "I remember that one, I didn't really pay attention, I was more worried about current projects and bases, and anything about Shepard's where abouts."

Admiral Hackett nodded, "Most of us were, but that particular report caught my attention specifically because the Prime Minister himself asked me to brief him on everything we had about the Reapers about a week ago, hence the scouting mission beyond the Omega Four."

Kaidan turned to look at the Captain of the Alliance's other stealth ship briefly before turning back to Admiral Hackett and asking quietly, "I like Captain Mustang and it's not that I mind him being here but I'm not sure I understand why he _is_ here."

Admiral Hackett smiled slightly, "The Prime Minister fully intends for the Systems Alliance to be a signatory of the Apollo Coalition. To that end the _Ain Jalut_ is going to be pledged to your Apollo Coalition's Navy."

"Oh…" was all Kaidan could think to say. To have the only two stealth ships in existence under his command…

Kaidan was thinking along this line when the door to Counselor Anderson's office slid open and Urdnot Wrex walked in followed by Grunt and another krogan. Kaidan grinned widely and strode forward to clasp arms with the Krogan Battle Master and Clan Leader.

"Alenko!" Wrex exclaimed happily.

Kaidan was still slightly taken aback by Wrex's appearance never the less said, "Wrex! I wasn't expecting you to come yourself."

Wrex nodded, "I haven't been off Tuchanka for over two years, but your message convinced me it was time to make the trip back to the Citadel."

Kaidan nodded still smiling, "How's Clan Urdnot? Who did you leave in charge?"

Wrex nodded, "Clan Urdnot is getting stronger by the day; there are very few clans that have not joined. I left my broodbrother Wreav in charge while I'm gone." Wrex gestured to the krogan Kaidan hadn't recognized, "this is one of my other broodbrothers, Urdnot Worin."

Kaidan nodded to the krogan, who grunted and nodded back. Kaidan hid another smile that threatened to form. Worin was much like his brood brother. Kaidan remembered the laconic '_Wrex_' '_Shepard_' that the two had used when speaking on the old _Normandy_.

Councilor Anderson's door slide open once more, this time it was Jelvan Del'amon of the Batarian Rebellion, no it was the Batarian Republic now. The relatively small liberation front had gained legitimacy by taking Camala away from the Batarian Hegemony. Behind Del'amon was Verha Had'deh, Kaidan nodded in greeting to the combat specialist, and two other batarians that Kaidan didn't know. Del'amon introduced them, "These are my fellow representatives, Kolper Ger'wen and Inya Fah'run."

Kaidan nodded and shook the two batarians' hands saying, "Nice to meet you." Kaidan turned back to Del'amon and said, "I'd heard you refused political office in the Republic. May I ask why?"

Del'amon frowned, "I'm a soldier, that's all I ever wanted to be. Leading the Rebellion, it was just something I did because I was good at it. When my predecessor was killed there was no one else who could follow in his footsteps. Now that there are others, I'm free to simply be a soldier again."

Before Kaidan could say anything the door slide open again, this time a dark purple asari came in followed by three rachni 'children'. Kaidan supposed the Earth equivalent would be worker bees or drones but neither was respectful enough for sentient beings. Kaidan stepped forward and bowed to the three rachni and said, "Welcome." turning to the asari he shook the woman's hand and said, "welcome Kolna T'Orin."

The asari smiled and replied, "You may call me Kolna, Commander Alenko." she gestured to the rachni and indicated one at a time as she introduced them to Kaidan, "This is Yuut, Saaeve, and Intia."

Kaidan smiled and bowed to the three children again before saying all four of them, "Excuse me." Kaidan caught Councilor Anderson's eye and nodded, the Councilor nodded back. Kaidan pitched his voice louder to carry over the slight noise of conversation and said, "If you all will have a seat we can get started."

Garrus, Liara and Kaidan went to their own table. Kaidan stayed standing while Liara and Garrus sat down. Kaidan waited for everyone to settle into their places and then cleared his throat, they looked up at him. Kaidan swallowed, he hated pubic speaking, and began, "When I formed the Apollo Group it was with the expressed purpose of restoring Captain Lucille Shepard to who she is, our greatest leader against the Reapers. But now I see that the organization I created to dismantle Cerberus has grown into more than I ever dared to hope it would become."

Kaidan paused and swallowed again, "With that in mind, I ask everyone here to help me draft a document that will recreate the Apollo Group and forge it into the weapon that we can use to protect the galaxy against the Reapers."

The gathered delegates clapped and Kaidan glanced at Councilor Anderson. With a smile the Councilor nodded at Kaidan in approval.


	38. Chapter 38 Back

After exactly nine days of hashing out the 'Articles of Coalition' Kaidan was ready to beat his head against the wall. It didn't help that he knew Shepard was in surgery right now. The doctors had told him that they expected the surgery to last for several hours. They'd given him a time window of seven to eight hours. The summit was winding down for the day and would be ending soon. Kaidan suppressed a sarcastic snort, soon being relative of course, they could be there for another hour or more. Kaidan hoped not, he really wanted to back aboard the _Normandy_ when Shepard got out of surgery.

Keeping his face straight Kaidan looked around the room at the delegates for the four, nearly, allied nations. He couldn't help but feel proud of how far he'd brought this, as Shepard's successor… no as Shepard's temporary replacement he'd done well despite of most of the council's refusal to accept the reality of the Reaper threat. Primea was sitting in the back of the room with three of their fellow Spectres, two turians and one asari. The number of other Spectres that his mentor brought with her to observe the Summit meeting was getting larger. The second day it was just her, no matter, from what his fellow Spectres had said, and they were very cautious with their words, these Council Spectres were not impressed with the Council's answer to several pointed questions about Saren Arterius as well as the System Alliance Prime Minister's speech confirming the Reapers involvement in the missing human colonies.

Kaidan stifled another sigh and schooled himself not to shift impatiently in his seat. Twenty-five minutes later the session ended and Kaidan walked across the room to where Primea stood with their fellow Spectres. Kaidan nodded to his mentor and the two turians, "Primea, Scipio, Gaius good to see you all again."

"Primea's mandibles opened in a turian grin, "Kaidan this is Ilana I'Rane."

Kaidan shook her hand politely, "Ma'am."

Ilana smiled slightly, "I understand from your mentor, that you are trying to build a space force large enough to fight the 'Reapers'."

Kaidan had started to smile but when she said Reapers his smile became fixed. Why had Primea brought her? She didn't seem to be a believer. Primea spoke before Kaidan could, saying briefly, "You agreed that the other Councilors version of events left many questions."

I'Rane, frowned clearly thinking, and replied evenly, "Yes but to jump from the holes in the Council's story to a species of extra-galactic sentient machines is quite a leap of faith; and one I'm not certain is justified."

Kaidan cocked his head and looked at I'Rane an moment before asking, "And what exactly do you think is justified?" I'Rane blinked taken a back, clearly no one had yet asked her this. Kaidan almost rolled his eyes in annoyance, this woman was a Spectre. She was supposed to be elite, "that's what I thought." Kaidan shook his head, "if Primea brought you here you've seen Shepard's reports as well as mine. Draw your own conclusion from them."

I'Rane looked thoughtful for a moment before saying slowly, "I have not yet reached my own conclusions. That is why Primea suggested I come and speak with you."

Kaidan glanced at Primea, her eyes were flickering back and forth between I'Rane and Kaidan, before asking, "I see, and have you formulated any questions for me?"

I'Rane eyes began to narrow in annoyance before she closed them and took a deep breath and let it out. When I'Rane opened her eyes once again, all trace of annoyance was gone. Finally she said, "When you were on Edan Prime with Captain Shepard and Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams you were the one who activated the beacon first." the asari Spectre paused clearly considering her next words carefully before asking slowly, "did you see any of the message that the beacon held?"

Kaidan sighed and shook his head, "No, Shepard got me out of the way before that beacon was fully activated." Kaidan thought carefully before adding, "one of the doctors on the science team apparently activated it though. We all thought he was insane at the time, but he said," Kaidan paused in memory and swallowed before going on, "things that make sense only if you knew about the Reapers. We spoke to a prothean expert about the beacons later. She told us that the beacons were once part of a galactic communications network used by the protheans to implant information directly into the conscious mind. However, since the beacons were made to interface with the prothean mind they will destroy the mind of anyone who doesn't have sufficient will."

I'Rane cocked her head to the side and asked, "Liara T'Soni was your prothean expert?"

Kaidan nodded and turned to wave to Liara and Garrus to come over, the two of them were speaking with Captain Mustang. Garrus saw Kaidan's wave and turned to look at him, Kaidan waved them over, Garrus spoke briefly with Liara and then the two of them excused themselves to the Captain and walked over to Kaidan and his fellow Spectres. Kaidan introduced them to I'Rane, "Ilana I'Rane this is Dr. Liara T'Soni and Garrus Vakarian. Liara, in addition to many other things, is a prothean expert. She studied the Prothean Extinction extensively."

Liara and Garrus shook I'Rane's hand and murmured greetings. I'Rane turned back to Kaidan and asked, "What exactly did this doctor say? It wasn't in the reports as far as I can remember."

Kaidan sighed and shook his head, "No, like I said we just assumed that he was insane and didn't take him seriously, at least that's why I didn't include it."

I'Rane looked curious as did Liara. Liara said, "I'd not heard this. Do you recall what the doctor said?"

Kaidan nodded slowly, "Yes it's not exactly something I would forget once I'd remembered and put things together," Kaidan swallowed and said, "'agents of the destroyers. Bringers of darkness. Heralds of our extinction. We have unearthed the heart of evil. Awakened the beast. Unleashed the darkness. Is it madness to see the future? To see the destruction rushing towards us? To understand that there is no escape? No hope? You can't stop it. Nobody can stop it. Night is falling. The darkness of eternity. Our extinction is inevitable.'" there was a long very weighty pause when Kaidan finished speaking and out of the corner his eye, Kaidan saw Liara's eyes slide closed as she shuttered. After a moment Liara swallowed and opened her eyes and Kaidan turned to her and asked, "are you alright Liara?"

Liara nodded slowly saying, "I've seen what Shepard saw in the beacons."

Everyone turned to look at Liara as Kaidan nodded slowly. He'd known that, they all had, it was Liara who'd figured out they needed to go to Ilos. Liara's eyes voice went hard as she said, "The Council ignored, Shepard's warning. I will not."

Kaidan put a hand on Liara's shoulder, "We will not."

Liara's and Garrus's expressions changed to ones of grim determination. Kaidan knew that they felt as he did, when the Reapers finally did come crawling out of dark space to restart their cycle of galactic genocide once again, he would fight those machines with everything he had.

I'Rane had leaned towards Kaidan as he spoke, listening intently. After nearly a minute of silence the asari Spectre asked almost tentatively, "Did you ask Captain Shepard about this?"

Kaidan nodded gravely, "When I reminded her of the scientist I asked her about it. She said that he was insane but that he wasn't wrong about what was on the beacons.'" there was another very long pause. After nearly a minute of silence Kaidan glanced at the clock on the galactic news display. Turning back to face the group of Spectres, Kaidan said politely, "ordinarily I would stay longer but I have a previous engagement. I apologize but I should get going." Kaidan turned to the three other Spectres and said politely, "excuse me."

I'Rane nodded and the three turian Spectres opened their mandibles in smiles as well. Primea said briefly, "Of course Kaidan, I hope all goes well with Shepard."

Kaidan's smile became fixed and he nodded saying, "Thank you," to his Spectre mentor before he turned and left Councilor Anderson's office followed closely by Liara and Garrus. They were all anxious to get back to the _Normandy_.

Once they arrived at the _Normandy_, they rode the elevator down to deck three. Once the elevator door opened Kaidan walked briskly around towards the Med Bay. Kaidan was brought up short, stopping abruptly enough for Garrus to walk right into Kaidan's back. Kaidan dimly heard Garrus stumble back slightly as he looked at what appeared to be the entire crew of the _Normandy_. Grunt had beaten them back to the ship and Wrex had come with him. Not that Kaidan was particularly surprised, Wrex respected Shepard a great deal.

Admiral Hackett, Admiral Borshevsky and Councilor Anderson were all there, yet another non surprise for those three. Both Admiral Hackett and Councilor Anderson valued Shepard's skills and ability to get what needed to be done, done. Both of them cared for Shepard personally as well. Kaidan scanned the room one more time and froze, there in the corner was Admiral Ahern from Pinnacle Station. Kaidan cleared his throat and turned to catch Garrus's eye indicating Admiral Ahern. Garrus evidently saw Admiral Ahern because he inhaled sharply say, "Now that's unexpected…"

Kaidan wandered over to where Admiral Ahern was standing and said, "Hello, Admiral Ahern."

Admiral Ahern looked up and nodded to Kaidan and said in his customary growl, "Commander Alenko."

Kaidan cleared his throat and said, "If you don't mind my asking, sir, why are you on Citadel Station?"

Admiral Ahern glanced toward the Med Bay and then back at Kaidan, "I was here setting up another simulator contest when Admiral Borshevsky told me what was going on with Shepard."

Kaidan nodded, "I see, thank you sir; if you'll excuse me?" Admiral Ahern nodded. Kaidan looked around the crowded galley once more before deciding that he didn't want to be in this mob, and ducked into his office. He sat down in his desk chair heavily and sighed. He was actively trying not to think about worst case scenarios where Shepard was concerned.

Deliberately forcing his thoughts away from what could go wrong, Kaidan found his memory skipping back to that hospital on Citadel Station. It was nearly eight months ago now and he could still recall the exact detail of the pattern on the ceiling tiles and the bland colors of the walls and floors. He'd waited by her bed for fifteen hours after she'd gotten out of trauma surgery, all ten hours of it. Kaidan could still catalog the damage Shepard had taken in addition to the hemlock poisoning, complete collapse of her left lung, and full severing of the main pulmonary vein as well as several of the main arteries. Which, come to think of it, didn't sound like much unless you knew exactly what those things meant to the human body on top of the effects hemlock, blood loss and shock.

Kaidan shuddered and dragged his mind away from the image of the human lungs. He instead recalled the conversation he'd had with Shepard when she'd woken up. He nearly laughed when he remembered what she'd said she would do when she got a hold of 'Illusive Man'. Replaying the rest of that conversation in his head, Kaidan smiled when he thought of Shepard telling him about her dream. Kaidan froze entirely for nearly a full minute before his eyes widened in realization.

Shepard was so intuitive it bordered on prophetic some times. Had her subconscious known even then what was going to happen to her? Because strong as she was even Shepard couldn't fight what the Illusive Man had ordered done to her. Could her subconscious have been trying to give him the way to save her? Was that even possible?

OoOoO

Shepard opened her eyes. Everything was blurry so she blinked a couple of times to focus them. She was in the _Normandy_'s Med Bay. "Shepard?" it was Kaidan; she turned her head towards him.

Shepard smiled weakly at him and said wanly, "Hey."

Kaidan reached up and took her hand in his, "Shepard do you remember anything before Camala?"

Shepard thought briefly searching for memories that… weren't there. She ground her teeth and clenched fist in frustration. Her voice, still weak, came out in hoarse snarl, "Nothing! Why didn't it work!?"

Kaidan put a finger on her lips to silence Shepard. Her eyes went to his and she felt her anger in her melt away. There was something in his expression some emotion in his eyes that stopped her after several nearly breathless moments she said, her voice questioning, "Kaidan?"

Kaidan looked down at their still intertwined hands, "I was thinking about the chain of events that led us all to where we are now." he said slowly, clearly measuring each word carefully before speaking each one, "the thing that started it was an injury that one of your greatest enemies inflicted upon you. When you woke up in the hospital you told me something strange. It was about a dream you'd just had. I didn't ignore what you said I just took it the wrong way, at least I think I did."

"I don't understand. Why does this matter?" the question came out harsher than Shepard had intended and she started to apologize.

Kaidan just shook his head silencing Shepard. Still looking at their hands, he smiled slightly saying, "Shepard, you are a deeply intuitive person to the point of being almost being precognitive. I've never quite figured out if you're prophetic or if you're subconscious just works faster than everyone else's. In either case it doesn't matter because," finally he met her eyes again, "I've brought you home, Wildcat."

Shepard looked bewildered for a full two seconds before her eyes widened briefly. Then she clenched them shut and she curled her body into the fetal position, she still clutched his hand like it was a life line as she gasped in pain.


	39. Chapter 39 Kaleidoscope

Shepard felt like she was standing under a waterfall. Everything about her life before Camala came in a confusing rush.

…_running through the forest of Mindoir, she could her the beasts snapping and snarling not far behind her. Running, panting hard and praying that she could keep going long enough to get home. Daddy would stop them…_

…_standing with her oldest brother, Bill, as he and Daddy explained how to fire a gun…_

…_fighting against Bill to get to Mom and their brothers. His hand was over her mouth to keep her silent. He held onto her desperately as he whispered brokenly his voice choked with tears of pain and sorrow, "Luci, stop please."…_

…_hands covered in pale green blood with a knife in her hand. A hand rested gently on her shoulder and a man said in a kind and calm voice, "Sweetie it's okay now…"..._

… _nearly falling down from a truly horrible hangover, he stumbled into her room in time to turn off her alarm clock for school…_

…_she fell in gym class and looked up at her gym teacher, Mr. Varner, who frowned and looked at her blood-shot eyes closely. "Shepard, see me after class."…_

… _Kevin looked at her seriously, "Look, Shep, I was an Alliance Marine I know how the fleet works. If you really want to do this you gotta stop hitting the booze all the time." Shepard felt sick, alcohol had been a near constant companion for the year and a half since Mindoir. One night drinking the next day being sick, a hangover was just as good as being drunk for taking her mind off of other things…_

…_she had done it. Now no longer addicted to alcohol she could join the Alliance Navy proudly; just like Daddy and Mom…_

…_the officer of the day was leaning back in his chair with a rather relaxed expression on his. Shepard stepped into the room far enough to see a man kneeling on the floor in front of the Officer of the Day and froze. The OD, Staff Commander Anderson apparently, saw the look on her face and looked down at his aide and blanched as it penetrated exactly how this would look. Anderson stood as did his aide, a sergeant, as she fought to keep the smile off her face. She failed spectacularly and burst into hopeless giggles…_

…_the training group ahead of hers had just gone down the side of the cliff when she heard a strange grinding noise, not of the rocks moving but something else. For a moment she had no idea why that noise was familiar to her, then it hit her: the motor dad used to use to put things in the hayloft of the barn. Only this sound was not that of a correctly working lifter, they didn't normally make noise. _

_She felt her eyes widen. No time to think, only to move and barely time for that. She dove over the side of the chasm, she'd already connected her own tripwire and lifter in preparation for her own climb down. Just as the malfunctioning lifter gave out completely, one of the cadet's hands flailed as he fell away from the cliff after his tripwire jerked tight and then went slack. She grabbed that hand and there was a grinding wrench in her right shoulder as it dislocated from the other cadet's weight, indeed he probably massed twice what she did, but she did not let go as the straps of her own safety harness bit into her chest and thighs. A moment later she heard Richards gasp in surprise and pain, his shoulder was probably dislocated too. After a moment he turned his head to look at her and smiled wanly, "Thanks. Shepard right?" she half laughed in response…_

…_a crackling hard edged BOOM broke the night quite and she froze, 'No way, I came to this place for leave because Elysium is a peaceful stable colony.' A series of six explosions went off in rapid succession. She was standing before the first one finished. She bolted to her room and grabbed the rest of her gear and ran as fast as she knew how towards the explosions, in the opposite direction everyone else was running. There was a massive breech in the shield wall around the colony. Shepard shrugged on her armor and checked her pistol as she ducked into cover behind a broken piece of the concrete secondary defensive wall. Then she saw them, batarians. 'No. _No._ NO! I will not let this happen, not again. _Neveragain_!' and fired into the night…_

… "_Come in Lieutenant Shepard. I've asked you here today because I'm looking for an Executive Officer for my new command, the _SSV Normandy_. She's going to be the first stealth ship ever built for space." Staff Commander, no it was Captain Anderson now, said evenly. She smiled at him and said, "I would be honored, sir."…_

… "_If things don't go well, I want you to know…well, I've enjoyed serving under you." Kaidan said his face was earnest but he was still holding back. Always, he was holding back. Well she wouldn't; not anymore, not now. Not with him, and never again if she could help it. She felt her old trickster's sarcastic smirk spread across her face as she said, "Kaidan I don't believe I've had the pleasure of you serving under me."…_

…"_Commander Shepard, Captain of the _Normandy_, the first human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a hero Delan, and a ghost." Kaidan said as he walked between some shipping crates. She felt her heart jump; _Kaidan_. He strode towards her and they paused each regarding the other before embracing in a tight hug…_

…_Kaidan was standing there in the same undress uniform he'd always worn aboard the first _Normandy_. He hadn't changed much since Horizon but he was still the man she'd fallen in love with and she knew just as she'd known before Ilos, he was the only man she would ever love. She didn't know how that was but it didn't matter, you don't question such gifts, you just accept them…_

A kaleidoscope of memories, everything, her whole life all at once. Memory cascade, aptly named. Slowly the tide of memories diminished then stopped and she slowly relaxed. After a moment she heard Kaidan say tentatively, "Shepard?"

Shepard let out another breath and straightened from the fetal position she'd apparently curled into. She flopped onto her back and opened her eyes and turned to find Kaidan watching her, he didn't look scared though, worried for her obviously, but not scared. He clearly knew what she'd just gone through. She swallowed and licked dry lips still looking at him. Shepard was waiting for her strength to return a bit so she just lay there looking at him.

After a minute or two of standing there watching her, he stepped forward and said, "Wildcat?" it was almost not a question.

Shepard smiled brightly up at him for another few moments while she continued to gather her strength. Kaidan stepped closer to the side of the bed. Shepard's smile widened and she moved faster than he could react, grabbing him and kissing him on the mouth. Kaidan froze before recovering enough to return the kiss and Shepard stopped thinking entirely.

When they finally broke apart Kaidan held her to his chest and sighed deeply in contentment before whispering, "Welcome home, Wildcat." Kaidan felt Shepard giggle and he smiled. Closing his eyes Kaidan sank down on the bed. Shepard shifted to sit crosswise on his lap and wrapped her arms around his torso, snuggling into his chest again.

Kaidan heard Dr. Chakwas clear her throat, Shepard jumped slightly and tried to pull back but Kaidan wouldn't let her. Kaidan didn't move or open his eyes, he hadn't forgotten the doctors' presence, he'd just ignored it, Kaidan said mildly, "Yes, Dr. Chakwas?"

Kaidan heard Dr. Chakwas laugh as Dr. T'Inga said barely containing her own laughter, "We do need to ask her a few question."

Kaidan contained his laughter and said in a deadpan voice, "So ask, doctors."

Dr. Chakwas laughed again, "Commander Alenko, please."

Shepard sighed and said, "Kaidan…"

Kaidan laughed and let her go. She sat up and turned toward the doctors, though she didn't get off Kaidan's lap, "Yes?"

The Doctors laughed again and Dr. T'Inga who was clearly restraining laughter as well asked, "Your full name?"

Shepard said in her best deadpan snarker tone, "Lucille Edith Shepard."

Kaidan laughed at the look on Dr. Chakwas's face. Clearly she'd known Shepard long enough to recognize her _that_ tone. Dr. T'Inga went on to ask, "Where were you born?"

Still in that deadpan sarcastic voice, Shepard answered, "Arcturus Station, April 11, 2154."

"Parents names?"

"Arthur and Molly Shepard."

"Siblings?"

"Six brothers; William, Charles, Percival, Fredrick, George and Ronald."

Kaidan cleared his throat, the two doctors turned their gazes on him. Kaidan after considering for a moment said in his best CO's voice, "Dr. Chakwas, Dr. T'Inga, any further questioning will be done by an officer with proper clearance to hear the answers."

The doctors looked at each other and Dr. T'Inga sighed and nodded saying, "Of course, Commander." the two doctors began talking quietly developing an appropriate memory test for Shepard. Eventually Dr. Chakwas sat at her desk and pulled her medical terminal out of one of her drawers. After switching it on and logging in she looked up at Dr. T'Inga and nodded. Dr. T'Inga began listing standard questions for memory testing. After a few minutes the two of them began going over it, fine tuning the list for Shepard's unique situation.

Five minutes later the two doctors agreed on their list and Dr. T'Inga said, "That's as comprehensive a list as I can give you under the circumstances."

Kaidan nodded, "Thank you Dr. T'Inga would you kindly ask Admiral Hackett, Admiral Borshevsky and Councillor Anderson to come in?" it was a dismissal, although a polite one. Kaidan made eye contact with the two corpsmen and they saluted and left the Med Bay. Sighing Kaidan said to Shepard, "You need to get off me now, this is going to get official now."

Shepard mock pouted and said, "Alright, if I must." Kaidan snorted as she climbed off his lap.

Kaidan stood and pulled the chairs that the medical team had drafted from the galley over to set them around the bed. Admiral Hackett, Admiral Borshevsky and Councillor Anderson came into the Med Bay about thirty seconds afterwards. Kaidan and Dr. Chakwas saluted the two Admirals, who returned the salutes and Councillor Anderson said, "Commander Alenko."

Admiral Hackett, Kaidan's and Shepard's nominal Alliance superior, would be running the military end of the show. The five of them sat down. Admiral Hackett started the recording device, "We'll start with the memory testing, Dr. Chakwas if you please."

"Your full name, rank and Alliance Navy service number?" was the next question.

"Lucille Edith Shepard, Captain, Citadel Council Spectre, N-7, 5923-AC-2826."

"Educational and technical background?"

"Standard primary and secondary schooling Georgetown, Mindoir and Vancouver, Canada Earth; Alliance Ascension training, Seattle, USA Earth. Systems Alliance Navy basic training; Systems Alliance Navy Officers training; Systems Alliance Navy Sentinel technical grounding: medical, electronics, and decryption. N class Special Forces training to level seven proficiency rating. Citadel Council Spectre training."

"What age were you discovered to possess biotic potential?"

"Sixteen; two days before the attack on Mindoir. I wasn't officially registered until I returned to Earth and I got my implants. I was seventeen."

Dr. Chakwas ask another dozen or so questions about Shepard's past. Everything that was asked was readily available from Shepard's Alliance file. Shepard answered each question, if not gravely at least devoid of her earlier sarcasm, for which Kaidan was grateful. Finally, Dr. Chakwas turned to the group, "Those are all of the questions that Dr. T'Inga recommended based on Shepard's official military record. I'm satisfied that her memories since she enlisted are intact."

Admiral Hackett nodded in understanding. After glancing at Shepard, Councilor Anderson turned back to Dr. Chakwas and asked evenly, "And Captain Shepard's state of mind?"

Shepard snorted, and shook her head but didn't say anything, there was no point. She knew she was back to her old self, except perhaps for a _small_ jump in her aggression level. She wasn't too keen on what the Illusive Man had done to her nor that Miranda had willingly lent herself to it.

Dr. Chakwas smiled and said without hesitation, "The Captain is well equipped to deal with trauma and post traumatic stress."

Councilor Anderson spoke up, "Shepard dealt with PTSD before she even enlisted in the Alliance."

Kaidan nodded in agreement adding, "Shepard has the training to compartmentalize any issues she may have."

Dr. Chakwas glanced at the Councilor and Kaidan briefly before turning back to Admiral Hackett, "Exactly, despite the nature of everything that was done to her it is my professional opinion that Captain Shepard is mentally fit for duty. In my estimation any lingering psychological backlash she may experience she will be able to deal with."

Admiral Hackett turned to Admiral Borshevsky and asked, "As a neutral in this affair what is your opinion Admiral?"

Admiral Borshevsky nodded slowly, "I recommend accepting Dr. Chakwas, Councilor Anderson and Staff Commander Alenko's opinions in this matter."

Admiral Hackett nodded, "Very well, thank you," the Admiral turned to Shepard, "Captain Shepard when you are released from the Med Bay, you are free to resume command of the _SSV Normandy_." he glanced at Kaidan out of the corner of his and added, "your Executive Officer and Lieutenant Commander Vakarian will brief you on the _Normandy_'s current situation."

Shepard interrupted to say, "Lieutenant Commander Vakarian…?" she turned sharply to look at Kaidan, "you made Garrus your XO?"

Kaidan nodded and smirked, "And finished the terminal work you," he cleared his throat, "hadn't gotten to yet."

Shepard rolled her eyes at him before turning back to Admiral Hackett, "I apologize for interrupting you sir."

Admiral Hackett smiled slightly, "That's quite alright, Shepard. Moving on," Admiral Hackett cleared his throat before continuing in a more official voice, "this is the final debriefing of field agent Watch Dog lately posing as a member of the terrorist organization known as the Cerberus Group and all subsequent events."

_Author's Notes: I quoted, nearly word for word this time, Lois McMaster Bujold's __Shards of Honor__._

_Less than fun fact about anatomy: your own body weight is enough to dislocate your shoulder._

_Okay first of all the game sort of misses the point of an executive officer. They help the Captain with everything from administrative duties to making sure that everyone in the command structure has the proper training and equipment to do their jobs. That also includes helping to train said people up if that don't have the proper certifications. _

_In new commands like the _SR-1 _was in the first game they not only are the first officer chosen by the new Commanding Officer (CO) they also usually sit in on all further officer (Commissioned as well as Non-Commissioned) interviews. Which means Shepard would have known about several of the things the game has you ask about i.e. Joker's Vrolik's syndrome (it's scientific name is Osteogenesis Imperfecta), about Kaidan's migraines there would be some sort of note in his file about it even if it was something like 'occasional migraines; side effect from L2 biotic implant' and Shepard would defiantly have known the basics of how the IES stealth system worked. I get why they had you ask about it in the game, but for the purposes of this story she know a hell of a lot more about the crew then what came across in the game._

_About Shepard's full name: Lucille means 'light' Edith mean 'prosperous in war' and Shepard of course means 'one who leads' or 'protector and guide'._

_According to the timeline (__ wiki/Timeline__) Shepard's birthday is 4/11/2154, according to the same timeline the L3 implant came out in 2170 and Shepard got his/her implant in 2171 which puts him/her at sixteen or seventeen._


	40. Chapter 40 End

Shepard shook hands with Admiral Borshevsky. After a long and grueling debriefing she was officially the Captain of the _Normandy_ again. Councilor Anderson and Admiral Hackett were speaking quietly with Dr. Chakwas to find out when the doctor thought Shepard would be physically fit for resuming the half of her command once again.

Once the two Admirals and the Councilor had left, Kaidan sank back into his chair and began the monumental task of filling Shepard in on everything that was happening with the Apollo group and the summit that was creating the Apollo Coalition. When Kaidan finished speaking Shepard was silent for several minutes. Finally she looked up at him and said plaintively, "I know why you wanted to get me back personally, but professionally, you don't need me."

Kaidan looked at her for a moment, a small smile tugging at his mouth, before answering, "You know some Spectres work in pairs."

Shepard snorted in amusement and laughed, "Real subtle, Alenko." Kaidan's answering smile lit up his face and Shepard found herself fighting a very girly desire to giggle. She smiled back and hoped she managed to keep from blushing.

Obviously, she wasn't successful because Kaidan chuckled and leaned closer to brush a finger across her left cheek. He said, "Well how about it, Wildcat? Partners?"

Shepard smiled, "Of course, but then you already knew I'd say yes." Kaidan's grin grew even brighter. '_Oh that's quite nice, and all for me.'_ Shepard thought before adding, "but only if you don't dump the Commander in Chief thing on me like you were threatening to do a bit ago."

Kaidan's bright smile vanished and he looked at her surprised, "Wha…? Why not?"

Shepard poked him in the chest, hard. Before answering in a stern voice, "If we're Spectre partners then we have to be partners in that other," she made a face, "thing, as well. Otherwise no deal."

Kaidan watched her for a beat then responded, "Huh. Right, well one of us needs to be the final decision maker if only to avoid stalemates. That's you."

Shepard nodded, "Fine I agree, so long as we're officially dubbed Co-Commanders."

Kaidan looked at her for a moment expressionlessly before his expression morphed into one of suspicion, "Why is it so important to you that we be hailed as Co-Commanders?"

Shepard pursed her lips to keep her trade mark smirk from spreading across her face, "Simple really, I just don't want to cripple the 'Apollo Coalition's Standing Navy' if something like this happens again."

Kaidan scrutinized her face then said, "And the real reason is…?"

Shepard blinked, "Huh?"

"Nice try Shepard, but I know you better than that," Kaidan shifted his weighted slightly so he could lean back in his chair and cross his arms, "so one more time, why is it so important to you that we be marked as Co-Commanders?"

Shepard looked away, "I…" finally she dropped the pretext altogether and looking up at Kaidan's face, "you did this, all of it. You saved me, and not just from slavery but from a life of not knowing." Kaidan opened his mouth to say something and Shepard shook her head to stop him from interrupting, "you're a dammed fine Commander Kaidan and a top notch diplomat, I can beat you on the first and we both know it, but on the second…I'm beyond out classed. You know I don't suffer fools gladly and I can't _stand_ arrogant pricks who think they're better than everyone else because they have the money to buy office, _and_ I'm too open about that even when I'm in my diplomat mode." Shepard couldn't stop the smirk this time as she added, "besides, it gives me the 'It's not my fault, it was his idea' defense."

Kaidan barked a short laugh before his face sobered, "My thermostat is just set a bit lower than yours. And besides I had some help waking you up, so to speak, as I told you before." Kaidan uncrossed his arms and thought for a moment before saying, "try this one: in military matters you break a stalemate and in diplomatic or political situation I get the final say."

Shepard gave him a bright smile as she said, "That'll work."

The next day Shepard joined Kaidan, Liara and Garrus at the head table during the Apollo Coalition Summit. This caused a stir when the delegates arrived. After nearly an hour's delay they got down to business. Shepard didn't say much because most of what they were negotiating about today had nothing to do with the Apollo Navy.

OoOoO

Kaidan and Shepard, in their capacity as Spectres and official witnesses for the Citadel Council, sat watching as Legion and four other geth mobile platforms signed a peace treaty between the Geth Collective and the newly established Quarian Alliance. The five former members of the Quarian Migrant Fleet Admiralty Board and members of the newly established Quarian High Council, Zaal'Koris vas Qwib Qwib, Han'Gerrel vas Neema, Shala'Raan vas Tonbay, Daro'Xen vas Moreh, and Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, then signed the treaty. Tali and Legion really had done fast work in negotiating this long overdue peace.

Tali stood up and walked to the speaking dais, "Blessed are the ancestors who kept us alive, sustained us and enabled us to reach this season; Keelah se'lai," the rest of the quarians in the room echoed her and Tali waited for them to finish before going on, "because the quarians feared what the geth would become, at the very dawn of their sentience we quarians rose up and attempted to exterminate our creations. This sparked what the geth call the 'Morning War.' Our attempted genocide led to a three hundred year long cold war and eleven generations of quarians have lived and died on the Migrant Fleet."

Tali paused for a moment, and Kaidan wondered if she was more affected by her own words then her calm even tone let on, before going on, "This alliance brings about the end of our war with the geth, with our children. Once again the quarian people are free to live on their ancestral home. I never believed that this day would come in my life time. But after time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust we have returned to where we began." Tali stepped off the speaking dais.

OoOoO

Tali, Shepard and Kaidan stood in a loose circle. Their shuttle back up to the _Normandy_ was waiting for them. Shepard asked tentatively, "Joker?"

Tali shook her head slowly and said sadly, "I still care for him a great deal, but he and I have no real future together. It was good to be with him while it lasted but…"

Shepard put a hand on Tali's shoulder, "I understand. Your future is here for now." Shepard hugged Tali before saying, "when the quarians are ready, send a message to Kaidan or me. Legion said that the Collective will wait to join Apollo until the quarians are ready."

Tali nodded, "Legion told me the same thing. I envy them a bit, Legion is free to stay with the _Normandy_."

Kaidan shook his head, "You're needed here Tali."

Shepard rolled her eyes, "When you've done all you can here you more than welcome to return to the _Normandy_. But are you sure you'll be able to?"

Tali stood silently thinking before she responded, "I'll have to think about that. Traditionally Admials are ship captains too."

Kaidan nodded, "We should go, Tali." he smiled at her then pulled her into a friendly hug.

Shepard hugged Tali goodbye as well, when she stepped back she said, "Until next time Tali'Zorah." Tali laughed and waved as Kaidan and Shepard climb onto their waiting shuttle and turned back.

OoOoO

When Shepard and Kaidan returned to the Citadel after their weeklong trip to Rannoch and back, it was to find that the 'Articles of Coalition' were nearly done. Before being dispatched to Rannoch, Kaidan and Shepard had left the summit under the guidance of Liara, Garrus and Samara.

A further three weeks were required to finalize the Articles of Coalition. When it was done all each of the delegates ratified it. That night in honor of the summit's successful conclusion all of the delegates as well as the crew of the _Normandy_ went out to the Dark Star Lounge to celebrate.

After they'd been there for a few hours Shepard and Kaidan were sitting next to each other at the bar. They were watching in amused amazement as Jack and Liara sat on either side of Thane telling dirty jokes at a rapid fire rate. It didn't help that both women were drunk. Kaidan eyed Jack warily, the psychopath had a tendency to hit on him when she got hammered, and he concluded that she wasn't quite as drunk as she was letting on. This absolutely begged the question as to why Jack was pretending to be completely slammed.

"I wonder," Shepard said, "exactly why they are torturing Thane, like that."

Kaidan shook his head, "I don't know, but better Jack shower attention on Thane then have her hanging all over me again."

Shepard's head snapped up and she glanced at Jack before turning back to Kaidan and asking, "Again?"

Kaidan nodded and sipped his beer, "You heard that right Shepard."

Shepard turned to look at Jack again and growled, literally growled, before turning back to Kaidan. She said, with a dangerous undertone in her voice, "At least I know I can trust you."

Kaidan, who'd looked up at Shepard when she'd growled, suppressed a shutter and said, "Jack won't do anything unless I do. She respects you too much."

Shepard sighed, "I know but she's…well…"

Kaidan snorted in amusement, "Psychopathic, but that doesn't mean she'd crazy enough to go against _you_, Shepard."

Shepard's grin was entirely wolfish. Kaidan returned a feral smile of his own and her grin shifted to one of irony and she said, "No wonder we get along so well."

Kaidan nodded and turned back to his drink. The two of them sat in a companionable silence for several minutes before Garrus came over and slung an arm around both Shepard's and Kaidan's shoulders. In one hand was a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka in the other was some sort of dark blue liquor, which Garrus had sworn was the turian equivalent of Vodka during their drinking contest. Kaidan shrugged the arm off his shoulder as he spun around on his barstool to face the turian. The hand that held the dextro-protein alcohol was still companionable wrapped around Shepard's shoulder and the two of them turned to face Kaidan. Garrus was holding up the unopened bottle of Grey Goose towards Kaidan suggestively. Kaidan eyed that bottle with disfavor for a moment before looking up at Garrus with disgust and saying, "No way; I told you Garrus, never again. I learned my lesson last time."

Shepard made an odd choking noise before Garrus could say anything and both men looked at her. Shepard opened her eyes wide feigning innocence and asked, "What happened last time, Kaidan?"

Garrus laughed and Kaidan snarled a curse under his breath and glaring at Garrus, he growled, "Thanks ever so," to him before turning to Shepard and actually answering her question, "I drank Garrus and Gardener under the table and regretted it very strongly later."

Garrus and Shepard laughed and Kaidan sighed. Shepard mastered her amusement first and commented with a smirk on her face, "You may have beaten them, but I could drink you all under the table."

Garrus laughed and opened his mouth to say something but Kaidan interrupted, "Of course you could with those implants of yours."

Shepard scowled him, "Spoil sport."

Kaidan laughed, "You're only mad because it's true. Why do you care anyways you don't even drink."

Shepard blinked and shook her head, "True. Oh whatever, anyways Garrus, Kaidan's answer stands for me as well: No."

Garrus sighed and glanced towards Jack, Thane and Liara, "Well, maybe the would be Jokers will want this," he lifted the Vodka bottle and walked over to the trio.

Kaidan had spent most of the last month since Shepard woke up thinking, about her mainly. He knew she felt the same as he did, the two of them were part and parcel of each other and he doubted that would change. He just didn't think it was a good idea for either of them to make any definite long term plans with the Reaper threat hanging over their heads. Not when he and Shepard would be on the front lines in what amounted to a galactic invasion and attempted genocide.

Kaidan drank the rest of his beer in one long pull and set his glass back on the bar gently. He looked at Shepard. What would she want? She must have sensed him watching her because she turned to look at him. Kaidan stood and asked, "Do you want to go somewhere so we can talk?"

Shepard blinked in surprise then her eyes narrowed, not in anger but in concentration, she studied him for a few moments before nodding slowly, still studying his face. Kaidan led her out of the Dark Star Lounge. When they were in the relative quiet of the Zakera Ward corridor he stopped and asked, "Are you hungry?" Shepard nodded, so Kaidan led her off to his favorite place to eat on the Citadel. Casapula's was more or less a whole in the wall, but the family run restaurant had several different styles of Earth foods including very good carrot cake.

They sat down at a table and Kaidan rapidly punched in what he wanted, he was a regular customer, after all, he pretty much knew what was on the menu. When he was done Kaidan looked up at Shepard and waited for her to finish, when she looked up at last she quirked an eyebrow at him in question. Kaidan half smiled and began, "I love you Shepard."

Shepard smiled at him, her eyes a light and a smile on her face, "I love you, Kaidan."

Kaidan breathed out slowly in trepidation before he said slowly, "Shepard I'll be honest with you, if we were any other couple in the galaxy I would be asking you to marry me right now. I…"

Shepard's smile brightened, "Oh good," she said, "I was hoping you weren't going to pull out an engagement ring. I would say yes of course but…" and then her smile dimmed and she shook her head.

"I know," Kaidan said, "the Reapers. I've been thinking that we should, well wait for the Reaper threat to be settled before we get married."

Shepard smile was nearly blinding now it was so bright, "It's a deal." there was pause, then she added, "now you can pull out an engagement ring."

Kaidan laughed, "How about I let you pick out your own, Wildcat."

Shepard pursed her lips still smiling slightly and said, "In other words you don't have one for me?" Kaidan cleared his throat and shook his head. Shepard smiled a bit wolfishly and said, "well then. After dinner we'll have to fix that won't we?"

Kaidan smiled and nodded, "Agreed, Wildcat."

_Author's Notes: Well loyal readers, that's the end of the story. As of right now I don't think there will be a sequel. This story was a writing exercise for me and to prove to myself that yes I could actually finish a story. There have been a few people that have commented that my characters are OOC, I didn't mean to do that obviously, I think I'm going to have to go back and fix that eventually and repost but not right now. _

_For any of you who brought this up in your reviews thank you for actually reviewing the reason I didn't take that into account was two fold first and for most, this story was written and sitting on my hard drive before I posted chapter 1 and second many of the things that I talk about and hint at I simplified because I wanted to get this story down first. If I do write another story in this 'series' it will be a prequel explaining how Shepard rejoined the Alliance and what Miranda had to do with that._

_One final thing to answer that last question in everyone's mind, It was Miranda who was making sure Shepard didn't get caught, but she was never implicated as a coconspirator because what tipped off the Illusive Man was not Shepard's hacking but the way she spoke to him._


	41. Apollo Group's Articles of Confederation

ARTICLES OF THE COALITION

PREAMBLE:

We, the founders of the Apollo Coalition, hereby establish and agree upon a Confederation of Species and Sovereign Planets between the Systems Alliance, the Batarian Republic, Clan Urdnot - Sovereign Clan of the Tuchanka and the Rachni Symphony in order to foster galactic peace and protect and fight against the threat of galactic genocide posed by the extra-galactic race of machines known as the Reapers.

ARTICLE 1:

This Confederation is hereby named the Apollo Coalition.

ARTICLE 2:

Each Species or Sovereign Planet retains its sovereignty, freedom, and independence as well as every Power, Jurisdiction and Right that is not by this document expressly delegated to the Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled or to the Apollo Coalition Standing Navy.

ARTICLE 3:

The above stated Species or Sovereign Planets enter in a firm league of friendship with each other, for their common defense and mutual current and future welfare binding themselves to assist each other against all force offered to, or attacks made upon them, or any of them on any pretense.

ARTICLE 4:

In an effort to better secure and perpetuate mutual friendship and relations among the people of the member Species or Sovereign Planets in this Confederation, all members of each of these Species or all citizens of these Sovereign Planets, fugitives from justice excepted, are entitled to all the privileges and immunities of members of these Species or free citizens of these Sovereign Planets. All the people of each member Species or Sovereign Planet are free to travel between every planet in the Confederation and will be granted all the freedoms and privileges of a normal citizen or members during said travel within the Confederation.

If any person guilty of or charged with treason, a felony or any other high misdemeanor on any planet within the coalition flees from justice and is found in any territory within the Confederation he or she will, at the request of the recognized government or executive power of the Species or Sovereign Planet from which he or she fled from, be delivered and removed to the Sovereign Planet or given to the governing body of the Species having jurisdiction over said offender. If a member of any Species or citizen of any Sovereign Planet commits a crime in any jurisdiction away from their Species or Sovereign Planet they have the right to be extradited back to the recognized government or executive power of that citizen's registered home jurisdiction for trial and sentencing.

ARTICLE 5:

For the most convenient management of the general interests of the Apollo Coalition delegates will be appoint every five years in the manner to which the legislatures of each Species or Sovereign Planet will direct to meet in Congress when assembled. Each Species or Sovereign Planet has the right to recall its delegate at any time in those five years and to send another in their stead for the remainder of those five years. No Species or Sovereign Planet shall be represented by no more than six delegates or less than two delegates. No person shall be a delegate for more than five years in any ten year term. In determining questions in the Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled each Species or Sovereign Planet will have only one vote in full Congress assembled. The full Congress assembled will elect one of it's members to be a Prime Delegates. Said delegate will no longer represent the interests of their Species r Sovereign Planet but of the Confederation as a whole and will be responsible for breaking any stalemate and mediating all disputes in the Congress.

Freedom of speech and debate in Congress shall not be impeached or questioned in any court or place out of Congress and the members of Congress shall be protected in their person from arrest or imprisonment during the time of their going to or coming from Congress for any reason except treason felony or breach of the peace.

Each Species or Sovereign Planet will maintain its own sovereign system of government.

ARTICLE 6:

The Congress of the Confederation will not restrict the right of any Species or Sovereign Planet to send any embassy or receive any embassy from or enter into any conference agreement or alliance or treaty with any Species or Sovereign Planet outside of the Confederation except when said embassy, agreement, alliance or treaty threatens in some way the sovereignty, peace or jurisdiction of another member Species or Sovereign Planet of the Confederation or the sovereignty, peace or jurisdiction of the Confederation as a whole.

The Congress of the Confederation will not restrict the right of any Species or Sovereign Planet to enter into any treaty, confederation or alliance between member Species or Sovereign Planets except when said treaty, confederation or alliance threatens in some way the sovereignty, peace or jurisdiction of another member Species or Sovereign Planet of the Confederation or the sovereignty, peace or jurisdiction of the Confederation as a whole.

Each Species or Sovereign Planet has the right to appeal any treaty or stipulations there in entered into by the Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled with any Species or Sovereign Planet that is not part of the Confederation. No Species or Sovereign Planet has the right to appeal to any Species or Sovereign Planet outside of the Apollo Coalition save for the Citadel Council and then only in cases of treason against said Council.

The Apollo Coalition Standing Navy reserves the right to dictate how large a standing navy each member Species or Sovereign Planet has the right to keep during times of peace that are separate from the Apollo Coalition Standing Navy. During peace time member Species or Sovereign Planets have the right to request of the Apollo Coalition Standing Navy that certain naval vessels or officers be assigned to certain areas of their own sovereignty.

Each Species or Sovereign Planet has the right to engage in armed conflict with any Species or Sovereign Planet outside of the Confederation that does not threaten in some way the sovereignty, peace or jurisdiction of another member Species or Sovereign Planet of the Confederation or the sovereignty, peace or jurisdiction of the Confederation as a whole. No Species or Sovereign Planet within the Confederation has the right to engage in conflict with any other Species or Sovereign Planet within the Confederation.

ARTICLE 7:

When military forces are raised by any Species or Sovereign Planet for the common defense or when any military forces are pledged to the Confederation Standing Navy all officers of or under the rank of Captain or Major shall be appointed in the traditional form for that Species or Sovereign Planet and all vacancies will be filled up by the traditional forms of the Species or Sovereign Planet that first raised the force if at all possible. If such is not possible for any reason then the vacancies will be filled by the most qualified individual available regardless of which Species or Sovereign Planet within the Confederation he or she is from.

ARTICLE 8:

All charges of war, and all other expenses that are incurred for the common defense or general welfare and allowed by the Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled will be defrayed out of a common treasury that will be supplied by the member Species and Sovereign Planets in proportion to the value of the territory held by each Species or Sovereign Planet granted or surveyed for any members or citizens as such territory will be estimated according to such mode as the Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled, will every five years direct and appoint. The taxes will be levied by the Congress will be collected every year twice a year.

The Congress has the right to: restrict military spending only during peace time when there is no crisis or armed conflict, restrict military maneuvers or patrols when said maneuvers or patrols threaten the peace of the Confederation, appoint three civilians as Chief Justices of the Confederation Judicial System.

The Apollo Coalition Standing Navy has the right to: use any force or means necessary to protect the sovereignty of the Confederation, its member Species or Sovereign Planets, or citizens from external or internal threats such as but not limited to, invasion, terrorists, pirates, privateers or internal conflict between member Species or Sovereign Planets, meet with all force possible any threat, appearance or rumor of the Reapers within any known part of the galaxy regardless of where said Reapers are in the known galaxy, brevet commission any ship or personnel necessary to face an immediate military threat brevetted officers have the same rights and privileges as those of equal rank in the Apollo Coalition Standing Navy and after six months active service said brevetted officer have the right to become Standing Navy regular officers, requisition any equipment or provisions necessary during war time with just compensation to the former owners, appoint officers through merit alone, appoint three officers as Chief Justices of the Confederation Judicial System.

The Confederation Judicial System has the right to: put on trial and convict Navy officers or Delegates in the Congress of treason, brutality, or any crime that is committed against civilians or military officers in peace time or war time, the right to appoint one Chief Justice.

ARTICLE 9:

The Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled has no right to dictate the manner in which the following are implemented: commerce or trade of any Species or Sovereign Planet except where dangerous substances are concerned, the prohibition of any objects or consumables save for dangerous substances, establishing rules for deciding in any cases what captures on land or water shall be legal and in what manner prizes taken by land or water forces, or appointing of local courts for trial and appeal.

No Species or Sovereign Planet has the right allow any of the following: slavery of any kind under any circumstances, prejudice of any citizen based on race, religion or background.

The Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled shall be the appeal in all disputes and differences now subsisting or that hereafter may arise between two or more member Species or Sovereign Planets concerning any problem. Including but not limited to: territorial distribution, mining rights, trade relations between said member Species or Sovereign Planets or militia defense of mutual boarders.

The Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled has the right to create a standard currency and to require the use of a said currency to ease trade and general relations between member Species and Sovereign Planets.

The Apollo Coalition in Congress does not have the right to interfere with any military action that the Apollo Coalition Standing Navy takes in defense of the Confederation and its member Species or Sovereign Planets, or the Citadel Council, except in cases of treason, or criminal orders such as but not limited to the harm of civilians or non-combatants, the destruction property with no just cause, requisition equipment or supplies without just compensation for said equipment or supplies, cases of abuse, physical harm or torture, and the intimidation of civilians or non-combatants.

The Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled will have the authority to: elect its own officials such as treasurer, prime delegate or ambassadors, appoint a committee to assess any reasonable request for change of any policy each committee must include at least one delegate from each member Species or Sovereign Planet, appoint civil officers as may be necessary for managing that general affairs of the Apollo Coalition under their direction, under the advisement of the Apollo Coalition Standing Navy require a certain number of soldiers, naval vessels and supplies from member Species and Sovereign Planets; if the member Species or Sovereign Planet cannot meet the required amount of one or more items said member Species or Sovereign Planet may substitute with a greater quantity of one or more of the other required items .

The Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled will not take an action without a three-quarters majority, excepting adjourning from day to day.

The Congress has the power to adjourn to any time for any length of time up to and including eight standard weeks and to any place within the Confederation and shall make records of day to day proceedings available publicly except were making said proceedings public will in some way endanger the Confederation its member Species or Sovereign Planets or its citizens or Standing Navy the said making of any part of Congressional proceedings private must have the approval of all delegations.

ARTICLE 10:

A committee consisting of a three quarters majority of any voting delegates of any of the member Species or Sovereign Planets shall be authorized in the recess of the Congress such as the powers of Congress as the Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled by the consent of a three quarters majority of the member Species or Sovereign Planets will believe to be expedient to vest them with, provided that no power be delegate to the said Committee for the exercise of which by the articles of Confederation the votes of a three quarters majority in the Congress of the Apollo Confederation assembled be required.

ARTICLE 11:

Any Species or Sovereign Planet that expresses the desire to join this Confederation and accept all laws of the Apollo Coalition will be admitted and entitle to all the advantages of this union but only with the approval of all voting delegates of the Apollo Coalition in full congress assembled. After admission into the Apollo Coalition the new Species or Sovereign Planet must ratify these Articles of Confederation.

ARTICLE 12:

All bills of credit emitted, monies borrowed and debts contracted by or under the authority of Congress or under the authority of the Standing Navy in pursuance of the present Confederation shall be deemed and considered as a charge against the Apollo Coalition for payments and satisfaction there of the said Apollo Coalition and the public faith are hereby solemnly pledged.

ARTICLE 13:

Every State will abide by the determination of the Apollo Coalition in Congress assembled during peace time and during war time or times of internal or external conflict will abide by the direction of the highest ranking Standing Navy officer present in the immediate areas effect by said conflict on all questions which by this Confederation are submitted to them. The Articles of Confederation shall be inviolably observed by every member Species or Sovereign Planet and the union shall be perpetual. No alteration will be made to any of the Articles of Confederation except through approval of the full Congress assembled and only if the full Congress assembled agrees that such an alteration is necessary for the preservation of the Confederation. No alteration shall be made to the Standing Navy doctrine by the congress without the full approval of the Commander in Chief of the Standing Navy.

CONCLUSION:

We the undersigned are authorized by our respective Species or Sovereign Planets to approve of and ratify these Articles of Confederation to perpetuate this union. We the undersigned delegates by the power and authority to us for that purpose do by these present in the name and on behalf of our respective constituents fully and entirely ratify and confirm each and every of these Article of Confederation and perpetual union and all singular matters and the matters and things therein contained. We the undersigned do solemnly plight and engage the faith of our respective constituents that they shall abide by the said Confederation are submitted to them. And finally we the undersigned do further solemnly plight and engage that the Articles of Confederation shall be inviolably observed by the Species or Sovereign Planet that we represent and that the union between Species and Sovereign Planets shall be perpetual.

In witness whereof we have hereunto set our hands in Congress done at the Citadel Station in the Citadel Council on the eleventh day of March in the year two thousand one hundred and eighty-six of the Council Era.

On the part and on behalf of the Systems Alliance:

David Anderson

Steven Hackett

Anton Borshevsky

Roy Mustang

On the part and on behalf of the Batarian Republic:

Jelvan Del'amon

Verha Had'deh

Kolper Ger'wen

Inya Fah'rurn

On the part and on behalf of Clan Urdnot, Sovereign Clan of the Tuchanka:

Urdnot Wrex

Urdnot Grunt

Urdnot Worin

On the part and on behalf of the Rachni Symphony:

Yuut

Saaeve

Intia

Kolna T'Orin

_Author's Notes: This, at its heart, is a rip off of the Articles of the Confederation of the US. I changed the wording of the Articles to better represent modern English and fit what the Apollo Coalition is about, most notably Article 6._


End file.
